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Professor Cassandra (6 found)

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Member Since
2008-03-04 9:17pm
Stories
6
Reviews
4
My specialty is humor fics about Voldemort and the Death Eaters. <i>Link removed by staff</i>

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1. Lord Voldemort and the Purple Roadmonkeys

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
15+
Chapters
7
Reviews
10
Views
2,198
Maintaining a dark and evil reputation is undoubtedly stressful, so once per year the Dark Lord and his followers take a much needed holiday. This year he has decided to form a biker gang most deadly, and only one name will suffice: The Purple Roadmonkeys. Contains OOC behavior, action, adventure, murder, romance...and what the heck, I'll throw some humor in there as well. This is a sequel to The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip, but can be read independently.
Words
12,489
Characters
Snape, Bellatrix, R. Lestrange, Lucius, Narcissa, Pettigrew, Voldemort, Draco, OC, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
General, Humor, Action/Adventure
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Status
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2009-01-05 7:03pm
Last Chapter
2009-03-04 11:14am
Last Updated
2009-03-04 11:14am

2. The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
15+
Chapters
18
Reviews
78
Views
7,174
You probably think of Voldemort and his Death Eaters as terrible, heartless people, and you are normally correct. But for one week every year, they are able to escape the stress of the wizarding world by going on vacation…the muggle way! Join everyone’s favorite antagonists on their annual road trip to the beach, because something tells me this year may be the most exciting yet!
Expect OOC behavior and plenty of laughs (at least I hope so)! And just let me warn you beforehand- this is my longest, wackiest and most random fic yet. So let the wackiness begin! Muahahahaha.....
Words
22,884
Characters
Bellatrix, R. Lestrange, Lucius, Narcissa, Pettigrew, Voldemort, Draco, OC
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Lucius/Narcissa, Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Other
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-09-04 7:49pm
Last Chapter
2008-12-09 6:00pm
Last Updated
2008-12-09 6:00pm

3. A Day In the Life of Lord Voldemort

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
15+
Chapters
1
Reviews
8
Views
266
We've seen the Dark Lord at his worst. We have witnessed his most terrifying fury, and the unspeakable horrors that he is capable of. But do we really know all of his true characteristics? Read on as I chronicle a day in the life of Lord Voldemort, and you will learn many interesting facts about him that are not found in the books. But be warned- what you find may shock you.
Words
1,869
Characters
Bellatrix, Pettigrew, Voldemort
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Spoilers
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-10-06 5:31pm
Last Chapter
2008-10-07 5:35am
Last Updated
2008-10-07 5:35am

4. Till Avada Kedavra Do Us Part

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
11
Views
363
All was quiet in the waiting room of the esteemed marriage counselor, Dr. I. D. Vorce, save for the ticking clock on the wall and the numerous couples screaming their lungs out at each other.

In this story, said marriage counselor will receive a visit from the unhappiest couple in the wizarding world: the Lestranges.

Much like my other stories, this is extremely OOC for the sake of comedy. I hope you enjoy it!
Words
1,332
Characters
Bellatrix, R. Lestrange, OC
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Other
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-05-29 8:52pm
Last Chapter
2008-05-31 2:41am
Last Updated
2008-05-31 2:41am

5. Tresses of Terror

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
6
Views
263
When the Dark Lord comes to the startling revelation that he is bald, he ventures out on an epic quest to locate the perfect hairpiece to accentuate his malevolence.
Words
831
Characters
Voldemort
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Other
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-04-21 6:39pm
Last Chapter
2008-04-26 12:06am
Last Updated
2008-04-26 12:06am

6. The Dark Mart

By Professor Cassandra
Rating
15+
Chapters
3
Reviews
55
Views
4,206
Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course!
Words
3,638
Characters
Bellatrix, Pettigrew, Voldemort
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Other
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-03-04 9:53pm
Last Chapter
2008-04-10 10:58pm
Last Updated
2008-04-10 10:58pm

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