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Member Since
2020-09-01 4:19am
Stories
9
Reviews
0
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1. St Brutus's Secure Centre for Shaping Megalomaniacs

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
15+
Chapters
2
Reviews
3
Views
49

Uncle Vernon finds out there really is a St Brutus's and sends Harry there, even though the young wizard is barely out of Kindergarten. Luckily for Harry, St Brutus's isn't quite what his uncle was expecting. Join Harry, his best muggle friend Jet, Jet's sisters Ruby, Emerald, and Sapphire, and the Hogwarts crew as a decidedly megalomaniac yet somehow sane Harry wanders through Hogwarts quietly plotting how to take over the world. Two-shot.

Words
16,536
Characters
Harry, Ron, Hermione
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Drama, Horror/Dark, AU
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Contains profanity, Mild violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-15 11:43am
Last Chapter
2020-09-19 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-19 3:42am

2. How I Met Your Mother With Lucius Malfoy

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
4
Views
66

"How did you meet Mother?" In which the bonus is just as long as the main story. Probably crack.

Words
1,725
Characters
Lucius, Narcissa, Draco
Primary Relationship
Draco/Harry
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Fluff, AU
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Sensitive topic/issue/theme
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-15 11:45am
Last Chapter
2020-09-15 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-15 11:48am

3. In Which Albus Tries to Hide His Being a Softie With Kidnapping

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
2
Views
30

"It’s the same old story, every week, and Louis has seen enough variations, from begging to conniving to bribery to blackmail, to know how it goes. Every Saturday James goes knocking on the Slytherin common-room door to beg entry and every week Albus refuses. No matter their arguments, homework, detentions, or responsibilities, they always turn up at the same time, on the same day, one to ask, the other to refuse."

A fluffy little one-shot about common rooms. So far as I know, fully canon compliant - including tCC, to my shame.

Words
1,558
Characters
Albus, James (II), Louis
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Fluff
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Spoilers
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-13 10:55am
Last Chapter
2020-09-13 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-13 10:57am

4. In Which James Slowly Accumulates Kneazles

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
3
Views
52

Pets the Marauders had throughout their time at Hogwarts, and how they effected the world around them.
OR
The real reasons:
Remus forgave Sirius
Lily found James un-repulsive
Sirius didn't die of the Cruciatus-Shakes
Ravenclaw doesn't kidnap people for experiments
Students are allowed an owl OR a cat OR a toad

Words
2,894
Characters
Lupin, James, Sirius, Pettigrew
Primary Relationship
James/Lily
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Fluff, Humor
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Sensitive topic/issue/theme
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-12 5:12am
Last Chapter
2020-09-12 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-12 5:15am

5. Sirius Destroys the Aesop

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
2
Reviews
3
Views
31

Sirius's favourite Uncle Alphard is worried about his nephew - if he continues down his road, he's going to get himself killed in an act of Gryffindor rebellion. On his seventh birthday, he gives him a diary and an important lesson - don't throw your skills away out of hate for what they're associated with. Rebel, sure, but don't be a fool. Because it's Uncle Alphard, Sirius listens. What happens when the Sirius who steps onto the train isn't quite as purely Gryffindor as in canon?

Words
7,779
Characters
Lupin, Snape, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew
Primary Relationship
James/Lily
Secondary Relationship(s)
Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Drama, General, AU
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Contains profanity, Mild violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Status
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2020-09-02 12:26pm
Last Chapter
2020-09-11 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-11 11:46am

6. Harry Gains a Harem

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
2
Reviews
2
Views
43

Harry wants something useful to do with his fame. "Get a harem," Luna says. 12-year-old Harry has no clue what that means, but girl friends are cool, right? A parody of the usual Harry Potter Harem fic.

Words
15,759
Characters
Harry, Ron, Hermione
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Humor
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Contains profanity, Spoilers
Status
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2020-09-01 4:25am
Last Chapter
2020-09-10 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-10 12:33pm

7. How to Destroy a Castle (And Get Away With It)

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
3
Views
52

Based off the meme/incorrect quote/headcanon where the Marauders are 'one man short' and find their fourth man in a recently deceased Fred.
Fast forward 17 years (17? 16? I can't count, y'know) and Auror Peccancy is a modern Umbridge, an new addition since the Ministry gave Kingsley the boot.
Meanwhile, the consequences of accidentally dooming Peter to the Devil come into play.
Oh, Merlin almighty.

Words
5,039
Characters
Lupin, James, Lily, Tonks, Sirius, Fred, Dominique, James (II), Louis, Lucy, Molly II, Teddy, Victoire
Primary Relationship
James/Lily
Secondary Relationship(s)
Bill/Fleur, Harry/Ginny, James/Lily, Remus/Tonks, Teddy/Victoire
Genre(s)
Fluff, Humor
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Contains profanity, Spoilers
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-07 11:30am
Last Chapter
2020-09-07 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-07 11:34am

8. The Adventures of Sports-Shoe and Jim

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
12+
Chapters
1
Reviews
1
Views
37

A short thing, drabble-bordering-one-shot, about Sports-Shoe and Jim, A.K.A Victoire Weasley and James S. Potter.

Words
1,037
Characters
James (II), Louis, Lucy, Teddy, Victoire
Primary Relationship
Teddy/Victoire
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Fluff, Humor
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Spoilers
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-07 11:35am
Last Chapter
2020-09-07 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-07 11:37am

9. Why You Shouldn't Key Your Reprobate Son's Friends Into The Wards

By TeachUsSomethingPlease
Rating
15+
Chapters
1
Reviews
1
Views
28

16-year-old Sirius is bored. Grimmauld Place is empty, and running away is no fun if there's nobody there (not to mention, it's cowardly). He calls Remus. "Come over." The rest is incorrect quote history.
Warning: Not for anyone who doesn't like black/dark humour.

Words
1,084
Characters
Lupin, James, Sirius, Pettigrew
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
Horror/Dark, Humor
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Mild violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme
Status
Completed
First Published
2020-09-07 11:38am
Last Chapter
2020-09-07 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-09-07 11:40am

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