Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, Lupin, Snape, Dobby, Voldemort, OC
Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance
Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Story Reviews
First Published
2017-12-20 22:34:28
Last Published Chapters
2018-04-05 19:07:23
Last Updated
2018-04-06 22:56:58
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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Loyalty and Lies

Voldemort questions Severus's loyalty who shares a plan with Dumbledore to satisfy the Dark Lord. 

1719 0
2 The Little, Old Lady with the Killer Wand

“ . . . mostly he just wanted to finish the job and get out of America. He was beginning to think King George III was correct. This country was more trouble than it was worth.”

2729 0
3 Maerna the Muggle

“The muggle beer was disgusting but it was just as well. He needed to stay sharp and shouldn’t be drinking tonight.

2114 0
4 Never Amuse a Dark Lord. . . . Don't Anger Him Either

“I wouldn’t try that, muggle. Snape rather likes that wand and I’m sure you like your neck.”

2020 0
5 Love Conquers All and Then Makes a Bigger Mess

An almost sinister smile played upon Snape’s lips. “I’m going to use your favorite weapon, Albus. I’m going to convince the Dark Lord that love is the answer.”

2784 0
6 Choices, Consequences and Complications

Instead she stared Snape’s outstretched hand. “You have to trust me sometime,” he said.

“Trust you to do what?” she asked.”

2491 0
7 Christmas Trees and Valerian Root

“How? What? I don’t understand,” Maerna stuttered.

“Actually, I think you do,” Severus contradicted.

“But that’s impossible. I’m a nomaj, a squib.” she exclaimed.

“Evidently not,” he replied dryly.

1711 1
8 You Are Or You Are Not. That Is The Question.

Maerna looked weary, “You’re right. I would and despite your, supposedly, candid admittance, I’m still not letting you in my mind. I don’t trust you.”

Severus just looked blankly at her, “I wouldn’t expect you to.  

2118 0
9 You are a kidnapper, a Death Eater and a professor. You have a busy life.

“When do classes start back up?” Maerna asked innocently. She felt those black eyes boring into her but refused to look up.

“How long have you known? What do you know?” he asked quietly.

1680 0
10 There and Back Again: A Witch’s Tale

 She paced along the edge of the wards and hit them with her fists in frustration.  She pounded on them screaming at Severus, at Dobby, at her grandmother, at Brent and even at the walls themselves. Her knuckles were becoming bloody.

1170 0
11 A Full Moon Visitor

 Several large gashes covered his torso  and thighs. There seemed to be more bite marks than arms and legs.

1825 0
12 The Limits of Friendship

 “Then just accept there are boundaries to our friendship. There are things we don’t want to or can’t talk about and leave it at that. After all, not all secrets we hold are our own, are they?”

1785 0
13 Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman With a Frying Pan

“You won’t hurt me,” Maerna challenged.

“You are a fool if you believe that,” he countered. “If the Dark Lord asked me to give you pain, then I would--no questions asked.  You are expendable. I am expendable. There are much more important things than you and I and that is what I protect.”

2343 0
14 Trust

“Which side are you on?” she demanded of the younger wizard.

A wry smile spread across his face. “That depends on who you ask,” he answered cryptically

1160 0
15 Keeping Your Lives Separate

“Sometimes those parts are wonderful together making exotic new tastes not to be forgotten, but I think this time, mixing them will leave a sour taste in everyone’s mouths.”

1582 1
16 R.I.P. Man's Best Friend

“Yes, you can Remus. You’re a bloody Gryffindor and one of the strongest people I know.”

2117 0
17 The Wand Experiment

“What is more preferable? Completing the task or dieing?”


“Is that the easy choice or the right choice?”

2519 0
18 An Enlightening yet Nauseating Expedition to the Americas

Maerna braved herself to meet her nemesis-a glowing cardboard box. She sat in the waiting room, twitching with nerves. “I can’t decide which I hate more at the moment: wands or portkeys.”

2470 0
19 First Steps

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” Maerna was confused.

“I just can’t pretend anymore.”

2872 0
20 Cycles of History

“Those who don’t know history will be condemned to repeat it.”

2698 0
21 Ignorance is Bliss

“I don’t know, Maerna. I don’t know why your grandmother did it, but I’m sure she had a damn good reason.”

1745 0
22 Your Life is Worth More than a Statistic

Did you know that over 90% of the Jews in Poland and the Baltic countries were killed during the Holocaust but in Denmark, less than 2% of the Jewish population perished? What is the difference?

2645 0
23 Burn My Arm and Break My Heart

“I’m already in love with someone else. I have been for over 20 years.” he said.

There was a long pause as Maerna tried to collect her thoughts. “You mean Lily Potter.”

“Lily Evans, before she got mar-before him.” Severus corrected.

2800 0
24 A Chapter to Forget

“This doesn’t look like Quebec.” Maerna warned him.

“Oh yes,” Albus smiled a bit sheepishly, “Well, you can’t remember anything from the trip and that includes the destination.”

“We’re not in Canada,” Maerna realized. “We’re in Mexico City.”

3133 0
25 The American Uncle

Uncle Brent flashed his American Auror badge at them. “You sir, need to come with us.” He pointed to Dumbledore.

“Am I under arrest?” Dumbledore seemed amused at the idea.

1441 0
26 The Tightrope Gets Thinner

 An evil smile twisted on to Voldemort’s face. “You’ve had a fight with her.” He studied his servant more closely. “You have feelings for her.” Severus flinched on the inside attempting to resurrect his wall, but it was too late.

1343 0
27 A Wizard, a Woman and a Werewolf Walk into a Bar

 “Tell me, Maerna. Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix? No? It’s secret group of people whose goal is to bring down Voldemort.”

1939 0
28 The Oath of Love

Maerna believed in God. He was always amazed the strength that belief gave her. Maybe, it wasn’t just the belief but God, himself, who gave her that strength.

3541 1
29 The Most Powerful Magic is Love, Prayer and Forgiveness

“I prayed.” he said so softly that Maerna almost didn’t catch it. “I prayed to your God and right after, you started to breath.”

Maerna smiled, “Then it sounds like I have three to thank. You, for volunteering, Narcissa, for offering her knowledge, and God, for working through both of you to produce a miracle.”

3228 0
30 The Task Completed

Maerna reached the edge of the crowd and pushed her way in. There he lay, her mentor, her advisor, almost like a grandfather to her, dead. As she stood there, staring into bleakness, she heard rumors floating around her.

“Snape, did this.”

2007 0
31 Putting the Pieces Together

“How could you,” she hissed.  “I’ve spent the last few hours trying to understand, thinking I’m missing something but all I come up with is you are a murderer.”

1943 0
32 Celebrations and Regrets

He stared out the window for a moment longer and then said, “Can you find out who among the Order is dead or wounded? I think I might have accidentally. . . “

2126 0
33 The Underground Railroad that Actually is a Railroad

Inside they met their conductor who passed out their tickets and gave strict instructions about where to sit on the train. Fifteen minutes later, nine muggleborn refugees and their leader were gliding under the English channel.

2509 0
34 Karma for Karden


 "I'm sorry, Phillip," Mr. Karden turned to his neighbor. "but they were looking everything. They know everything. They would have found I let you stay here and then. . . then-" 


2368 0
35 “The Truth is Rarely Pure and Never Simple” --Oscar Wilde

 Remus just shook his head, unwilling or unable to comprehend what she was saying but he searched her face and saw what he feared. "Do you love him?"

Maerna opened her mouth trying to explain, trying to justify. "Remus, it's much more complicated that that."

2367 0
36 The Yaxley Puppet

 “Tell me, Yaxley,” she said, a playful smile on her lips, “What do you think of Harry Potter?”
The Death Eater was still for a moment before calling out in a clear, self-assured voice. “Harry Potter is the Chosen One. He will defeat the Dark Lord. He did it once as a baby and he can do it again.”
“Would you be willing to die for Harry Potter?” Maerna pressed.
Yaxley leaned forward in anticipation, eagerness gripping his face. “Absolutely.”


3743 0
37 The Mystery Ministry Man

“Let’s go!” the ministry man yelled as Yaxley appeared. Maerna aimed her wand at Yaxley but before she could curse him, Yaxley, the ministry man and the other two apparated away.

1415 0
38 What Doesn’t Kill You Will Make You Stronger

 “the Dark Lord is creating his own worst enemies by the way this school is run. He’s creating soldiers that, soon, can be used against him.”

3601 0
39 “Memory is the Guardian of All Things” -Marcus Tullius Cicero

 He leaned back in his chair and started his tale. “Your parents had passed away just six months before. Laurel was your guardian, as you know, and I visited a lot to check on you. We were amazed by your abilities. You weren’t even five but we could already tell you were going to be a powerful witch. . .Then we heard the prophecy.”

3154 0
40 Creating a Bucket List


 “It sounds like, Severus Snape, that we need to make a post-war bucket list.”
“A what?” Severus tried to focus on her face.
“A bucket list. A wish list of things you want to do, but for whatever reason, haven’t had the chance. After the war is over, we’ll start on a list. Visiting that cemetery, visiting Lily, will be the first thing,”

3184 0
41 “Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Remus just shook his head and changed subjects. “I wonder about Harry,” he said. “Have you heard anything? From your -er contacts?”
Maerna shook her head no. “No news is good news, right?”
Remus looked at her carefully, “Are you okay, Maerna? Are you okay with him?”
“I’m not okay, Remus. None of us are, but I’m okay with him. We’re doing well together,” Maerna told him.


2135 0
42 The Silver Doe and the Sword

“What was that thing?” Maerna asked.
A shadow crossed over Severus’s face. “A confirmation of a theory I’ve had. Some of the darkest magic that exists in the world.” he said.

2145 0
43 Just What the Doctor Ordered


 She carefully studied the coin. The words around the edge had changed. “H is sick. Can you help?”

2588 0
44 Anger Management

 “There isn’t anything else!” Maerna snarled. “I’ve done every possible combination of every known ingredient used in antidotes. Some have promise but nothing is working, not really.”
Even though he knew most of her notes as well as she did, he still skimmed through them. “There is one ingredient that you don’t have in here at all--Phoenix Tears.

1995 0
45 Mingling with the Malicious

Severus was always so calm and collected. She had never heard him sound so unsure, but here he was fumbling as he opened a small jewelry box. 

2608 0
46 Tears of Sorrow

 Slowly Maerna became aware of sound, of a song, a sorrowful song that made her heart cry out just from listening to it.

2059 0
47 The New Lupin

Maerna smiled as she leaned over the baby. “He has your eyes,” she said.
Remus started to chuckled. “Oh no, he’s Dora through and through.” The tiny baby stared at Maerna in more concentration that his two weeks should allow. Suddenly, the hair became long, blonde curls.


2303 0
48 Aufwiedersehen Hogwarts

Finally, she nodded. “Okay.” Here she was on the edge of battle and she promised the two people who meant most to her in the world that she wouldn’t be part of it. Remus pulled her into a hug and said “Thank you.” He then explained about the tunnel between the Room of Requirement and the Hogshead Bar.

2889 0
49 But Venom Will Stop the Heart

Severus sighed. Then he turned serious. “I need to see Potter. I have to get a message to him. He has to know this before he faces the Dark Lord.”
“What message?” Maerna asked but just then Lucius came running up. “Severus, the Dark Lord wants to see you now. He’s in the Shrieking Shack”

2402 0
50 The Peace of Raphael

Severus had felt pain pain, unbelievable pain, at his neck, but that was gone.
He had felt cold, ice cold that permeates down to his bones, but that was gone.
He had felt fear, fear that reverberated through his soul, but that was gone too.
In fact, he felt nothing.
It was, he mused, like an out of body experience.
Perhaps it really was an out of body experience. That would make sense if he was dead.

4426 0
51 Epilogue

 Twelve years later

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