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It's a Long Story
Al looks at me steadily. “I think,” he says, “that you’re actual mental.”
I wrinkle my nose. “You’re disgusting.”
Avocado and Poached Eggs
“If it isn’t the golden couple,” a voice laughs, and we break apart like two guilty teenagers who have just been caught snogging behind a tapestry on the Transfiguration corridor. James is standing there.
He raises his eyebrows. “No, it is I: Wizard God.” Then he smirks. “I take on the appearance of the most attractive person you’ve seen in the past twenty-four hours.”
“It’s too complicated, Al. And people would get the wrong idea. I mean, it’s not like we actually have feelings for each other.”
Firewhiskey and Sainsbury's Basics Vodka
And it turns out that firewhiskey and Sainsbury’s Basics vodka do do wonders for dragging one out of the depths of self-pity. Who knew?
Wine is Nice
Wine is nice to me. Wine doesn’t start playing happy families with some cheating tart. Wine doesn’t get your hopes up and then just sod off.
Homes and Hovels
I trail off because I don’t know how to string the right words in the english language together to say, ‘I’m flattered and all but we’ve only known each other for a month and I’m worried that maybe you just want to harvest my organs.’
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