Dumbledore, Sprout, Snape, Percy, Cedric, Draco, Fred, George, Luna, OC
Drama, Humor, Angst
Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Story Reviews
First Published
2014-02-22 05:30:20
Last Published Chapters
2015-12-09 19:40:09
Last Updated
2015-12-09 19:40:09
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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Prologue (1991): Dozens of Little Televisions

The sitting room appeared equal parts average and bizarre, as though someone from the middle-ages had decorated with an Ikea catalogue.

3839 39
2 The Hex Head Express

“You know Fred and George swear they saw some weed plants in Sprout’s restricted greenhouse. Then again, they were high when they broke in, so take it with a grain of salt.”

4160 32
3 Some Sacred Questions, Some Marijuana

Finally, the Sorting concluded. Super-Baby Harry Potter had ended up Gryffindor—to exactly no one’s surprise.

3616 26
4 Loose Lips

"Your fanged geranium's gone all shriveled! What have you done to it?"
"It...bit me," Tristan answered lamely.
"Well, what a surprise turn of events," spat Sprout.

3573 26
5 Three Times Charmed

Finally satisfied that Tristan's stereo and music collection didn't contain dark magic, Filch let them on their way.


4071 23
6 Behind the Mirror

"The Hufflepuff password is Hufflepuff? Seriously??"
“Only this week! And who would ever guess it?”
“Therein lies the genius of your House.”

4867 17
7 Troll in the Dungeons!

Apparently, there had been a troll. Only not in the dungeons. And Harry Potter, all of eleven years old, had somehow managed to kill it. But he'd also lost about a million House Points from Gryffindor in the process.

Tristan wasn’t really that clear on the situation.

3567 17
8 Self-Spelling

Auto-Incantata, or "Self-Spelling" (colloq.) is an act by which a witch or wizard casts a spell on him/herself.

3424 14
9 The Big Thing

Nothing was beautiful and everything hurt.

3883 13
10 War Children

Tristan was confused—he’d been expecting Snape to lecture him about skipping classes, not politely offer tea. Perhaps, thought Tristan, this was some bizarre intimidation tactic. If it was, it was working.

2908 11
11 Muggle Magic

Isobel had never spent much time around muggles before, but was starting to see what Tristan meant about their being magical in their own way.

3774 11
12 Recreational Magic Abuse Recovery

Isobel produced a pamphlet she'd nicked off the healer: "How Rec Magic Wrecks: Charming isn't charming when your charms marks get charred."

"Bloody Hell," Emily agreed, scrunching up her nose against the onslaught of trite platitudes. 

4003 9
13 The Little Things (1992)

“Laurel, seven inches, Dragon Heartstring,” Mr. Ollivander had said. “Rather heavy.” 

4365 8
14 The Trouble With Laurel

Classes, eat, corridor, sleep. It had become Tristan's mantra--like a song stuck in his head. A distillation of what remained of his life in four words.

4478 9
15 Torture

“Penelope might still fancy you, and apparently she’s single after all,” Isobel joked.

Tristan offered an exaggerated frown. “The blonde one in your House? Half the school still believe the story she spread second year about my being the illegitimate child of the dark lord, so..."

“I’ll file her under ‘maybe,’ then.”

3948 10
16 Interrupted

It was Emily's nature to cry whenever she confronted any strong emotion.

5481 10
17 The Disappearing Room

While no expert on the facial expressions of cats, Tristan could have sworn that Mrs. Norris looked triumphant.

6670 9
18 The Question

Teenage folk wisdom about drink: about as useful as a perforated cauldron.

5418 11
19 The Presence of Love

It was hard to work out what Tristan did out of love, and what what he did because he hated himself—maybe all of it, one way or the other.

7305 10
20 O.W.L.s

Ballpoint pen: like a quill, but less annoying.

3564 9
21 After

“That one,” Tristan pointed out the youngest Weasley. “Played some chess. And that one,” he indicated to a manic little witch with a lot of hair, “did something clever with potions. The rest has a lot to do with some special rock.”

6202 12
22 Cleaner, More Brilliant

The good times were better than they’d ever been, and the bad times were further between.

3629 20


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