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    Dumbledore, Sprout, Snape, Percy, Cedric, Draco, Fred, George, Luna, OC
    Primary Relationship
    Secondary Relationship(s)
    Drama, Humor, Angst
    Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
    Story Reviews
    First Published
    2014-02-22 5:30am
    Last Chapter
    2015-12-09 7:40pm
    Last Updated
    2015-12-09 7:40pm

    Track This Story: Feed

    Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
    1 Prologue (1991): Dozens of Little Televisions

    The sitting room appeared equal parts average and bizarre, as though someone from the middle-ages had decorated with an Ikea catalogue.

    3,839 39
    2 The Hex Head Express

    “You know Fred and George swear they saw some weed plants in Sprout’s restricted greenhouse. Then again, they were high when they broke in, so take it with a grain of salt.”

    4,160 32
    3 Some Sacred Questions, Some Marijuana

    Finally, the Sorting concluded. Super-Baby Harry Potter had ended up Gryffindor—to exactly no one’s surprise.

    3,616 26
    4 Loose Lips

    "Your fanged geranium's gone all shriveled! What have you done to it?"
    "It...bit me," Tristan answered lamely.
    "Well, what a surprise turn of events," spat Sprout.

    3,573 26
    5 Three Times Charmed

    Finally satisfied that Tristan's stereo and music collection didn't contain dark magic, Filch let them on their way.


    4,071 23
    6 Behind the Mirror

    "The Hufflepuff password is Hufflepuff? Seriously??"
    “Only this week! And who would ever guess it?”
    “Therein lies the genius of your House.”

    4,867 17
    7 Troll in the Dungeons!

    Apparently, there had been a troll. Only not in the dungeons. And Harry Potter, all of eleven years old, had somehow managed to kill it. But he'd also lost about a million House Points from Gryffindor in the process.

    Tristan wasn’t really that clear on the situation.

    3,567 17
    8 Self-Spelling

    Auto-Incantata, or "Self-Spelling" (colloq.) is an act by which a witch or wizard casts a spell on him/herself.

    3,424 14
    9 The Big Thing

    Nothing was beautiful and everything hurt.

    3,883 13
    10 War Children

    Tristan was confused—he’d been expecting Snape to lecture him about skipping classes, not politely offer tea. Perhaps, thought Tristan, this was some bizarre intimidation tactic. If it was, it was working.

    2,908 11
    11 Muggle Magic

    Isobel had never spent much time around muggles before, but was starting to see what Tristan meant about their being magical in their own way.

    3,774 11
    12 Recreational Magic Abuse Recovery

    Isobel produced a pamphlet she'd nicked off the healer: "How Rec Magic Wrecks: Charming isn't charming when your charms marks get charred."

    "Bloody Hell," Emily agreed, scrunching up her nose against the onslaught of trite platitudes. 

    4,003 9
    13 The Little Things (1992)

    “Laurel, seven inches, Dragon Heartstring,” Mr. Ollivander had said. “Rather heavy.” 

    4,365 8
    14 The Trouble With Laurel

    Classes, eat, corridor, sleep. It had become Tristan's mantra--like a song stuck in his head. A distillation of what remained of his life in four words.

    4,478 9
    15 Torture

    “Penelope might still fancy you, and apparently she’s single after all,” Isobel joked.

    Tristan offered an exaggerated frown. “The blonde one in your House? Half the school still believe the story she spread second year about my being the illegitimate child of the dark lord, so..."

    “I’ll file her under ‘maybe,’ then.”

    3,948 10
    16 Interrupted

    It was Emily's nature to cry whenever she confronted any strong emotion.

    5,481 10
    17 The Disappearing Room

    While no expert on the facial expressions of cats, Tristan could have sworn that Mrs. Norris looked triumphant.

    6,670 9
    18 The Question

    Teenage folk wisdom about drink: about as useful as a perforated cauldron.

    5,418 11
    19 The Presence of Love

    It was hard to work out what Tristan did out of love, and what what he did because he hated himself—maybe all of it, one way or the other.

    7,305 10
    20 O.W.L.s

    Ballpoint pen: like a quill, but less annoying.

    3,564 9
    21 After

    “That one,” Tristan pointed out the youngest Weasley. “Played some chess. And that one,” he indicated to a manic little witch with a lot of hair, “did something clever with potions. The rest has a lot to do with some special rock.”

    6,202 12
    22 Cleaner, More Brilliant

    The good times were better than they’d ever been, and the bad times were further between.

    3,629 20


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