Rating
Mature
Chapters
30
Words
Characters
Harry, Albus, James (II), Rose, Scorpius, Teddy, OC
Genre(s)
Humor, Mystery, Romance
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Contains profanity, Mild violence, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Spoilers
Story Reviews
404
Status
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2014-02-03 21:12:24
Last Published Chapters
2016-12-01 23:05:00
Last Updated
2016-12-01 23:05:00
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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 How to sign your own death warrant (in style)

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you busy searching for a girl to club over the head and drag away to your cave?"

5771 19
2 How to react to public humiliation

My face was so red by this point I would have been worried it would explode if I wasn’t being publically humiliated in front of the entire school as James Potter wheezed laughter five feet away from me.

3480 19
3 How to plan revenge




James Potter would rue the moment he decided to mess with me.

2693 18
4 How to dig yourself into a hole

It took less than twelve hours for it all to catch up to me

4875 20
5 How to troll

They all burst out shrieking at me again and I thought I would maybe combust

4035 15
6 How to be a paranoid freak

“Actually, Potter, the reason I’m always in the library is because everyone seems to want to claw my eyes out whenever they see me. Now, whose fault is that?”

3686 14
7 How to: nicknames

I was feeling a kind of odd stirring in the depths of my stomach.
Huh.
Must be some bad liquorice wands.

3000 15
8 How to: drama

I was thinking about James Potter’s eyes.

3743 12
9 How to make friends

I just wanted to be the Giant Squid.

2658 11
10 How to be a jerk

And for the first time I saw what Fitz had tried to tell me all those weeks ago; James Potter was not a bad person.

2980 14
11 How to prioritise


Somehow the fact that I no longer had a boyfriend didn’t seem that important anymore.

2222 14
12 How to be a drunk

“Why didn’t you just use the oven?”

“Sylvia Plath,” Fitz said in explanation.

2499 13
13 How to get a date

I didn’t want to think about Patronuses. 

3544 14
14 How to be in the loop

Resolve, people, as taught by Whatever-His-First-Name-Is Fitzroy.

2911 8
15 How to party

I could take the Potter that yelled mean things at me any day, but this Potter was a whole other story.

2876 7
16 How to lose friends

I thought it was quite mature of me to settle for sitting and glowering at my coffee as though it had personally offended me.

3247 16
17 How to save the day

Then I realised that I should maybe alleviate the situation since Fred look so appalled that there was a vein twitching at his temple.

4166 14
18 How to manage disaster

He and I both knew he had no idea what was going on. I was also sure neither of us cared.

4428 7
19 How to: violence

It took two professional killers and the saviour of the wizarding world to stop me from murdering my father.

4058 23
20 How to survive the aftermath

I sighed and contemplated flinging Fitz from the Quidditch stands.

2628 9
21 How to: Quidditch

He wasn’t half bad, I decided. Not by a long shot.

4531 14
22 birthday pt.1

I was dreaming of the Riviera and liquorice wands when it happened.

4332 14
23 birthday pt.2

Great, now I was thinking about dead owls.

3452 18
24 How to ruin the holidays


This was going to be a long Christmas.

3796 11
25 christmas pt.1

As if today hadn’t been a big enough rollercoaster.   

3748 15
26 christmas pt.2

Honestly, was this how boys fought?

3583 8
27 How to reconcile

The smoke screens were gone.

He knew now.

4989 11
28 How to compromise

He looked so… tired.

Probably of me.

4132 11
29 Before

James Potter was, admittedly, quiet brilliant.

3202 7
30 After

I was lucky and I wouldn’t forget it.

3773 13

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