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|Ch. #||Chapter Title||Word Count||Reviews|
Merlin, I really sound like a fruit cup.
The Art of Attracting Perverts with Ketchup-Stained Parkas
“Concentrating on academics, prefect, dorky glasses, ninja turtles panties... Godric, Rosie, did I ever tell you how much of a complete sexual animal you are?”
The Art of Eluding the Scooching Game
"Yeah," Harold whispers in what he apparently thought was a sexy voice. "I can feel the electricity between us too."
The Art of Gormandizing Rejection Ice Cream On Your Knees At Night
You know, I really should start carrying my wand on me more often. I mean, not for defense or anything insignificant like that. Just for really crucial, imperative matters like when you need to conjure a spoon for your 5000 pounds of cookie dough ice cream.
The Art of Fraternizing with Puppy-Kicking, Child-Punting, Owl-Punching Ruffians
Malfoy swayed from side to side, seemingly entertaining the idea, before frowning.
The Art of Colliding with Arrogant Crumbums Whilst Thrift Shopping (Or Rapping About It)
Last Christmas, Albus got two turkey drumsticks stuck in his nostrils, forgot he could breathe through his mouth, and almost suffocated.
The Art of Inadvertently Handling Unfamiliar Panties in a Rush to Tartarus
You know, of all the times I fantasized about my first kiss, I never once pictured staring into the ebony depths of eyeless sockets and literally getting my soul sucked out of me.
The Art of Fleeing from Decrepit Demon Cats (and into Broom Closets)
Until that moment, I had assumed that in the event of life-jeopardizing danger, I would naturally operate on my fight-or-flight reflex…. Just like every other person who has ever existed.
However, I seemed to have taken for granted that my only reflex was making bad puns.
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