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Rating
Mature
Chapters
22
Words
82,073
Characters
Percy, Scorpius, Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Other Pairing
Secondary Relationship(s)
OC/OC
Genre(s)
Drama, Humor, Romance
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Story Reviews
206
Status
Completed
First Published
2011-10-21 8:52pm
Last Chapter
2013-04-27 6:02pm
Last Updated
2013-09-04 7:10pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 The Dartboard of Destiny

I’ll say one thing: those heady days of hedge-hopping, poetry slams and general drunken buffoonery seemed like centuries ago.

1,752 21
2 Escapism, Miss Weasley

‘I received some of your work a short while ago,’ she said, still staring at me as if I was a sea slug. ‘And I’d like you to join the Witch Weekly team.’

2,525 9
3 A Bad Feeling About This

The two of us were, pretty much, abandoned in the middle of nowhere. With everything we owned in a single suitcase. No cause for alarm.

1,234 1
4 Elgin Regrets

The town was New New Elgin because Elgin and New Elgin were both already taken.

3,107 11
5 The Coven

Sunday, Sunday, the perfect lazy day.

4,111 10
6 A Duck in the Pint

Even the rain in New New Elgin was weird.

3,338 8
7 The Keeper and the Seeker

I knew exactly what Euphemia Flitter wanted me to write, and I didn’t want to write it. Not in the slightest.

3,700 9
8 Anoraks and Fluttery Eyelashes

‘You’re my girl for all seasons. You even come with your own anorak and all.’

3,911 9
9 An Abundance of Tartan

Another one of those short silences passed, although, this time, it didn’t feel quite so companionable.

4,229 8
10 Living In Sin

I always got the feeling that Dad listened more than Mum did, and if I’d had to pick one of them to awkwardly bridge the topic with, it would have been him.

4,230 10
11 Post-Apocalyptic Romance

From the moment the owl arrived, I typed like a woman possessed.

3,240 10
12 The Tripwire of Reality

There’s something I’ve always been very good at, and it’s saying the exact opposite of what I really want to say.

3,211 8
13 The Coven (reprise)

They say that the meek shall inherit the earth. If anything, Scorpius is a walking contradiction to this statement.

3,717 12
14 Burns Night

That speech was the caber that broke the Highland Coo’s back.

3,507 6
15 Hangovers and Hypotheticals

It was the conversational equivalent of a runaway double decker bus travelling at full speed down a very, very steep hill, in the sense that it came out of nowhere and knocked me a little bit senseless.

3,931 9
16 Mandrakes and Post Owls

A lot of girls my age talk about hearing the pitter-pattering of tiny feet. I heard the stampeding of midget wildebeest.

4,239 8
17 (Love is) Tea and Toast

‘I just want a job where I don’t have to write zombie smut,’ I said. ‘You know, maybe something with a desk. And a kettle in the office. And a lot of juicy gossiping about colleagues. A water-cooler to gossip by. Christmas parties. A stationery cupboard. Biscuits.’

4,587 13
18 Elektra and Felix

Good evenings, like all good salads, start with a foundation of Lettuce.

5,961 9
19 Tea, Custard Creams, and a Cat

You know the zombie smut is probably getting to you when you start talking to your pet cat.

3,753 13
20 With Bells On

The rain, pattering on the windowpane, did enough talking for both of us.

6,427 5
21 Epilogue: Part One

First and foremost, a writer is a liar.

3,599 4
22 Epilogue: Part Two

You can really make metaphors for life out of everything.

3,764 13

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