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Job 1: Find Out How to Summon the Knight Bus Off the Top of Muggle Houses
It’s not looking good. I mean, why would the Knight Bus normally have to collect people off roofs? I mean, the whole way of summoning it is ‘stick out your wand arm off the pavement’. And there is no pavement of roofs (no way, Sherlock).
Job 2: Stop Matchmaking My Friends
I was smirking; smirking at ROSE; I had officially turned into James Potter (II). SMIRKING - WHAT IS THIS?! Pepper’s Body Revolt Day?! I am, quite frankly, putting the final nail in my coffin with this. If there is enough of me to even have a funeral for afterwards.
Job 3: Recieve OWLs, Fetch Friends and Recieve Howler
Maybe I could steal his duvet instead. Yes, good idea Pepper – sleep on his floor.
Job 4: Write Down My Funeral Ideas On Louis' Walls
It was me and Tori left alone with Rose's soaked stuff now. Ooh, this is totally like a Last Dryer Standing competition, isn't it? Who will win?
Job 5: Find the Fates and Challenge them on my Destiny of 'Death Before 17'
And I have to admit that I’m a little bit peeved. I always imagined that if I ever did get a prophecy, it would be all rhyming and I would be wearing a beautiful ruby-red satin dress, and it would be on an overgrown balcony at night when all the stars and moon and stuff could be seen. Also my hair would be blowing backwards, all glossy and shiny, like in a L’Oreal advert. That is the proper way to get given a prophecy.
Job 6: Get A Brilliant Evil Plan
Note to self: buy a cockerel. It helps to avoid situations like this at 11.34 the next morning…
Job 7: Work Out What's Between James and Me, and Convince Everyone Else It's Nothing
Okay, that’s exactly who he is from now on. This so-called Trevor guy is dead to me.
Job 8: Talk to Lou and Send Roses to Fred
All around me, people were groaning and squealing, and most were finding other people to punch and/or shout at that they had to wear their clothes tomorrow. I, on the other hand, was trying to work out whose name it was that was on the slip of paper.
Job 9: Post 'Agony Aunt' Notices Around School
They considered this. I’m the first to admit that my friends look hilarious when they’re thinking; Louis looks confused, like he doesn’t normally think (which he doesn’t), Al looks constipated, and Rose looks quite soulful and melodramatic.
Job 10: Help That Third-Year Strip Down her (Potentially Deadly) Broomstick
If I had to redesign Hogwarts, we’d totally be in Hawaii somewhere. This place is far too cold in the winter for my liking, and then I could wear kaftans and bikinis and Roman sandals all year round!
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