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Slips, Trips, and Pumpkin Pasties
Growing up, I tended to trip often. People called it being clumsy. I wasn’t clumsy. My ankles just weren’t fully developed yet. According to everyone calling me clumsy, It was not the ‘cute, oh-she’s-adorable!’ clumsy, but the ‘you’re-going-to-break-your-neck-one-day!’ clumsy. How can someone be cute when they trip anyway? It makes absolutely no sense to me, but I digress.
Butterfingers and Sir Snugglebottoms
“He likes to roll all over my bed.” I wiggled in the air. “And he likes to crawl all over the four-poster beds.” I walked, hands clawing. “But the worst thing he does,” I said, eyes wide, “Oh, the worst thing . . . “And I kept going. Straight into the lake. Yes, right into it. I didn’t stop and just kept right on going, hands clawing.
Breakfast Sausage and Being Lady-like
As I began to get ready for the day, I thought about the evening before. I met his new girlfriend and, as expected, she was graceful and perfect. She was polite and introduced herself to me as Grace. Grace the Graceful? Well, her parents were a really creative lot, weren’t they?
Hello there, Mr. Yummypants
Who knows? Maybe I’ll die there on the floor and become a Hogwarts ghost. I could haunt Grace and she’d go crazy and be institutionalized. Hey, what can I say? I’m an optimist.
Confession: I Don't Flirt Well. Obviously.
Al laughed. “James and I had a hard time finding a gift. It wasn't until just yesterday that we finally found something.”
A Christmas Party and A Secret
“What can you keep after you give it to someone else?”
Confession: I Can't Keep My Big Mouth Shut.
“That isn’t going to work, Em.” I heard Rose say as she came in. “Now, get up!”
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