| 1 |
Begin with a Bang
Bea didn't have occupational hazards. She was the occupational hazard.
She then gave her 'I-told-you-so-you-owe-me-a-butterbeer' smirk to Fred, who replied with his 'You-got-lucky-buy-it-yourself' eye roll.
Except they both probably should have been paying attention to the gurgling sound and Fred's eye roll only got to 'You-got-lucky-buy' before a classroom-shattering boom threw them backwards.
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| 2 |
A Biscuit a Day Keeps the Slytherin Away
Hogwarts was desperately lacking in information kiosks.
The wall scraped apart. Bea and Fred hesitantly stepped in after her, unsure of what to expect. A pit of snakes? Plans for world domination? Dark Lords running amok?
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| 3 |
Sweet, Sweet Revenge
She had her revenge and ate it too.
Bea nodded weakly while the amusement from onlookers crescendoed in the background, culminating in a jeer from Phillip Goyle, who was hardly one to talk with black-as-tar mixture, "Oi, you make potion inside the cauldron!"
Whirling to Albus, Bea hissed — or rather, belted out dramatically, "Whaaat haaaappened?"
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| 4 |
A Perpetual Mess
It was only a matter of time before someone took off their shirt.
Glancing up, she saw him—and lunged. "That's my bag!"
Scorpius had it sitting on his knee, drawstring loosened. "I should think so. It says 'Bea Chang' right here on the tag."
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| 5 |
Wingman (or Woman) Knows Best
The deadliest weapons in the world were a pair of long legs.
"As much as I hate to share an opinion with your little girlfriend, you really are no fun."
"Bea's not my girlfriend," Fred declared for the umpteenth time and sipped his glass as well.
"Good on you. That makes the fact that you're clearly attracted to me a lot less inappropriate."
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| 6 |
Two Plans Too Many
Robbing Gringotts was still easier than getting Weird Sister reunion tour tickets.
"We're not robbing Gringotts."
"They just make it seem hard! I've got a great plan—we don't even have to break into the vaults!" Albus gave a squeak as Bea wrenched him by the sleeve and pushed back his fringe. "Just draw on a scar, call him Harry, and we can walk right in!"
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| 7 |
Apologetics Anonymous
If war conference talks were settled with cupcakes, world peace would arrive a lot sooner.
"What I don't understand is how everyone seems to see all these opportunities," Bea grumbled. "If you like these opportunities so much, you go get them yourself. Malfoy's giving them away like hotcakes, isn't he? Money, fame, leggy girls. Opportunity hotcakes with extra syrup! Tastes delicious until you start choking on the lies and get backstabbed with a butter knife!"
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| 8 |
Just a Little Breaking and Entering
The biggest threats to Hogwarts were students with too much free time on their hands.
Bea tapped an idle House-Elf on the shoulder, who circled around to glare at her with his one good eye. "Erm, sorry to bother," she said, "but did you see a Scorpius Malfoy in here about a week ago? About yea high, blond, always in a suit, probably thinks he's better than you?"
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| 9 |
Hogwarts, A Mystery
Naturally, everything blew up in their faces at the last minute.
"Thank you, darling," Scorpius breathed in relief, hugging the arms that encircled him.
A deep ahem interrupted his reverie and Scorpius looked up to see Fred arching an amused brow. "I'm not your darling."
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| 10 |
Take a Chance on Me; Initial Here
Scorpius had a heart after all. He still didn't have any fashion sense.
"...you're very strange," he said after some consideration.
She glanced down at Scorpius. After a longer pause, she responded, "...yes."
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| 11 |
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Beatrice?
By crushing every one of her hopes and dreams and stomping them to the ground.
The flurry of worry spread to Albus and Lucy — especially Lucy, who practically leapt from her chair to squish Bea's cheeks together. "Oh no, look at what we've done. She's in shock! The conversation's gotten too serious, hasn't it? Bea, think of puppies! I'll go get the emergency biscuits!"
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| 12 |
Fishing for Wishy-Washy Wishing
Even after twelve chapters, no one listened to Fred.
Fred hustled Bea outside before she could get distracted by the glittering sweets. He said that the surprise was 'better than Honeydukes', and if it was better than Honeydukes, it was either a unicorn or two Honeydukes.
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| 13 |
Destination Downhill
Their agreement definitely sounded a lot better on paper.
Albus knocked into him as he hopped around on one foot, trying to remove his own pair, and was barely able to avoid a pile-up. "What's wrong with pink? I like it; it's festive."
"For a My Little Centaur tea party, maybe. Gods, Potter, have a little taste."
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| 14 |
Oh, Bludger!
Albus had become somewhat of a connoisseur of awkward moments.
The maddening tension was squeezing Albus too tight, and he'd even take angry screeching arguments over this. He opened his mouth and blurted, "My dad died."
Bea and Scorpius gaped at him, but before they could utter a word, he continued, "Well, he did. Once."
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| 15 |
Choose Wisely
Take-backs were non-redeemable.
Anjali smirked from her perch. No matter the mayhem, even her tiniest action demanded notice. "Of course he knows what I'm talking about. And I think you deserve to know the truth, Bea."
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| 16 |
Dreams Don't Come Easy, Darling
The best broom flying lessons were the impromptu ones.
Cracking open a dirt-crusted lid, Bea stared up at the stationary sky, not a single ache or breath left in her body. The blue was almost too crisp and incomprehensibly tall to be real; how could they have fallen from there? Perhaps she was dead and this was heaven.
No, there would be togas, she reasoned, and the mud would be made of chocolate.
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| 17 |
The Art of Hanging Over
When in doubt, party.
"We did win the match today. What do you think we do, write essays to celebrate?"
Scorpius blankly pondered the level of sarcasm in Rose's comment before a grin lit up, the kind that made Bea's hairs stand on end. Oh no, it was his idea face.
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| 18 |
For Better or Worse
Keep calm and carry bon-bons.
Scorpius was avoiding her.
She had known, of course—she was avoiding him, too—but it wasn't like when they crossed paths in the halls, when it was easy to brush off their missing greeting. I didn't see him, Bea would tell herself, just like he didn't see me. But this one glimpse marked the unavoidable truth: he had seen her and she had seen him, and at some point, they had both decided they were better off if they hadn't.
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| 19 |
That's How the Biscuit Breaks
And how the castle crumbles.
Scorpius leaned over the desk for a look. "How could that little — " Then another crack sounded, and his feet slid like a spider on skates as the whole room sunk an inch. In a blink, the crevice had gone from small to alarmingly drafty.
Fred pulled him up. "Little things turn into big problems!"
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| 20 |
And So It Begins Again
One more time, with feelings.
Then, after glaring for sulky minute, she unflipped the tin, chucked the burnt cakes into the rubbish, and brought out a new mixing set from the cupboard.
"Do you plan on blowing up more of the castle?"
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| 21 |
Missing!
Who misplaced Malfoy?
She could only hope that within an hour's time, a professor would be dragging him out by the collar, unharmed except for the U-shaped mark on his cheek, and she would have laughed off how she overreacted — thinking he was dead, for Fawkes' sake — when he only fell asleep in a broom closet.
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| 22 |
Dead End
A grifter and a granny walk into a pub.
Bea's hand tightened around the crook of his elbow, and Fred could feel the unuttered questions tapping in her fingers. We'll find him, right? He'll be okay, right? As much as habit wanted to treat this outing like another caper about the castle, this was no unicorn hair heist; they were searching for a flesh-and-blood prize.
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| 23 |
Another One Down
Dead bodies were a bit of a mood killer.
He was going to die, stunned on the street or cornered behind one of the buildings blurring past. His life was going to flash before his eyes and he would see, too late, the things he held most dear.
In defiance, his mind presented the most banal thoughts. Mr. Welly. The dinner menu. Did he have clean socks left?
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| 24 |
The Great Escape
The last caper.
The two men who kidnapped her only saw a small, frightened girl. Which wasn't untrue. She barely topped five feet and had cried more in those three days than she ever had in her life. But it was misleading, like calling the Head Auror a man with a head injury and no fashion sense.
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| 25 |
Bittersweet
A raincheck for someday.
Earlier, when Roxanne delivered lunch from Mum, Fred overheard her chatting with Lily, "He controls like, five percent of the economy now, or something ridiculous like that. Could bankrupt Britain with a sneeze."
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| 26 |
Open at the Close
Goodbye, farewell.
And so they parted — an inch, a foot, glancing over their shoulders every so often, until they were lost in separate crowds.
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| 27 |
Epilogue
And capers ensue.
There was a shop on Hogsmeade's High Street with a glittering grid of windows and blue scalloped awnings.
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