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Rating
Mature
Chapters
17
Words
63,715
Characters
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Rose, Scorpius, Teddy, Victoire, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Rose/Scorpius
Secondary Relationship(s)
Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Teddy/Victoire
Genre(s)
General, Humor, Mystery
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme
Story Reviews
199
Status
Completed
First Published
2010-11-15 9:44am
Last Chapter
2011-04-28 8:29pm
Last Updated
2011-05-02 7:05am

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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 On The Hoof

“I got arrested by Ron Weasley two years ago,” Hoof said in an almost conversational tone. “Nice bloke. Punched me right inna face, but I had just tried a nasty spell on him, I'll give him that.”

“That's my dad,” I told him proudly. “I'm Rose Weasley.”

2,051 13
2 Son of a Rock Star

“You're giving me a murderer?” I squeaked, wide-eyed, as Lydia fished around in her in-box. I'd never gone after a real murderer before. I'd met a few, but I hadn't been attempting to capture them at the time. Normally I run the other way from murderers. That one time with the serial killers had totally not been my fault.

2,947 10
3 More Cheese Puffs

Scorpius rubbed a hand over his face. “I was only gone for a few hours... How do these things keep happening? At least it isn't a serial killer.”

“That wasn't my fault,” I reminded him, though he'd seemed to be talking to himself.

3,388 6
4 A Man Named Annable

“I'm, um, a private investigator,” I told her. It sounded good. And telling old ladies one is a bounty hunter pretty much inevitably winds up with a door in the face. Might as well find out how being a P.I. compares.

She looked mildly impressed. “Cor. Like Sherlock Holmes?”

4,128 7
5 A Nogtail in a Blanket

He clutched the blanket, looking horrified. “You can't let them take her away! The Pest Division will put her down! It's what they always do to nogtails!”

“Maybe they won't,” I said. “Maybe they'll release her on a nice farm, where a lovely family will take care of her and there will be children to romp with.”

He shot a Stunner at me.

3,372 8
6 Legendary

Victoire's kids lived in fear of St. Mungo's. I had no idea why. It wasn't as if anything bad had ever happened to them there. The Healers had removed Remus's extra arms in a trice that one time he'd gotten a hold of Victoire's wand.

4,109 11
7 A Rain of Ketchup

I needed flunkies. It must be nice. Lydia was great, but Dad had a whole squad of Lydias to do his bidding.

3,822 12
8 Royal Hippogriff

“You're no fun, Rose. You used to be fun.” James sighed dramatically, putting his hand to his chest.

“Yeah, Rose,” put in Fred. “You suck royal hippogriff.” The two of them exchanged a complicated hand slap in front of me and then left.

They both sucked royal hippogriff.

5,328 10
9 Dipped in Sludge

When she makes remarks like that, I tend to think she's referring to her husband and/or her kids. I wondered if Victoire had ever considered killing Teddy for acting like an idiot.

3,883 14
10 A Model Forger

The officer on duty was my friend Jack Upchurch, which would have been a relief the day I'd brought in Parmenter. He grinned when he saw me and crowed with delight.

“Yes! I was hoping I'd draw the night you brought someone in. What happened? Honey? Bees? Killer bees? Ice lollies again? Another rain of condiments? I was quite sad to miss that one. Wait, let me get my camera-”

4,141 10
11 Dinner Party from the Black Lagoon

Dominique's engagement announcement had involved a seven-course meal and a display of fireworks, and the birth of little Thornton had caused the arrival of singing letters in iambic pentameter (Scorpius had called it a Howler, which it hadn't technically been, though it had been really loud).

4,311 10
12 The NLWA

“I can tell a Weasley when I see one. Are you going to be trouble, too?” He stopped wiping the bar and threw the rag on the floor next to him, giving me a threatening look.

Oh, great. I was sure I knew what this was about. “You've met my cousin Louis, haven't you,” I said with a bit of annoyance but no real surprise. Louis had been thrown out of any number of pubs all over England.

3,233 12
13 Crime, Inc.

Mum turned a little pink, and she patted my hand. “I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to bring it up so cavalierly.”

I shrugged. “I'm fine. I've been kidnapped before, and this time wasn't nearly as scary.”

“She's your daughter,” Dad told Mum.

4,495 11
14 Andrew Campbell

“Well, we sent the MLEs after him yesterday, but no one knew where he was. Funny thing, though, when we got up to the Auror department today, we found Andrew on our doorstep, trussed up like a suckling pig and covered in green tentacles."

3,729 11
15 Dammit, Rose

“I think we'll all feel better if you re-think this explanation before you tell it to your parents,” Uncle Harry said.

That sounded like a good plan. “Cheers.”

4,661 11
16 Up in Flames

“Who is your boss? What is it you've been doing that you didn't want me messing up? How is McBride involved? Was Annable involved too? Are you part of The Organization?”

Ambrosia chuckled. “Which do you want to know about first?”

“I don't know about Miss Weasley,” came a new voice in ringing tones from behind me, “but I'd like to know what you've been up to with Joseph McBride.”

3,935 10
17 Leaping Lethifolds

He rolled his eyes. “Sure, you wouldn't let me hex him, but it's all right for you.”

“I'm not from a family with a history of Muggle abuse,” I said, feeling a bit annoyed.

“Touché,” said Scorpius.

2,182 33

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