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    Rating
    Mature
    Chapters
    12
    Words
    81,088
    Characters
    Sirius, OC
    Primary Relationship
    Sirius/OC
    Secondary Relationship(s)
    Genre(s)
    Drama, Romance, Young Adult
    Era
    Marauders
    Advisory
    Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature
    Story Reviews
    419
    Status
    Work In Progress (WIP)
    First Published
    2010-02-06 9:55am
    Last Chapter
    2016-01-30 1:18am
    Last Updated
    2016-01-30 1:18am

    Track This Story: Feed

    Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
    1 Nothing Matters But Knowing Nothing Matters

    Prologue - Sirius. 

    It was strange how one kick could make it all fall apart.
     

    4,723 47
    2 You Left The Frays From The Ties You Severed

    And we're back to Dee. 

    For the last sodding time, stop thinking about his freaking hair! 

    8,707 35
    3 I'd Rather Be Any One Else But Here, Or Any Place Else But Me

    "What are we supposed to do about it?"
    "Be friends. Apparently." 
    ...
    "Can we do that, though?"

    9,462 31
    4 I Shouldn't Speak In Case I Get It Wrong, I Always Do

    "Awfully defensive for someone who doesn't care."
    "Why do you care?" I snapped without thinking
    ...
    "I don't know."

    7,184 27
    5 I Will Bend Till I Break

    I sighed. “Since you’re blackmailing me. Fine. I’ll try. But the pressure is going to kill me.”
    “Worth it.”
    “Sure it is, you psychopath, you.”

    10,387 50
    6 Your Subtleties They Strangle Me

    Sometimes it takes that long, up until the very end. 
    Sometimes you don’t realise until you’re so close to crashing that you can see the individual blades of grass before your eyes. 
    Sometimes that’s what it takes to make it blindingly obvious what you should have done and what you still can do.

    8,392 42
    7 Still Tangled In Yesterday

    “Get in there, idiot.” He appeared to tire of my suspicions, planted his hands on my shoulders and firmly steered me through the doorway.

    It didn’t even zap me or anything.

    Not that I’d been expecting that.

    Much.

     
     
     
     
     
     

    7,866 47
    8 He Looked Left; She Turned Right; Meant To Be Together But Not That Night

    Because his fingers dropped to my cheek.

    Was I breathing? I couldn’t tell.

    Trivial matter, anyway. Hate breathing. Except, you know. To live.

     

    4,191 53
    9 You'll See My Smile Looks Out Of Place

    It was ridiculous. Completely and utterly. I mean, I’ve done some pathetic things (a lot) in my life, but this took the biscuit on the lame-old-bint scale. 
     
     
     
     
     

    3,002 29
    10 Must I Always Be Waiting On You

    “Oh god, I was actually thrusting for a bit there. Do you think he saw the thrusting?”
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    4,650 38
    11 If we hold on to each other, we'll be better than before.

    I wanted it to be. I wanted us to be happy. For real.

    I just didn't think it would be this hard.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    5,839 11
    12 You'll see the sky fall down before it ever gets that far.

     "Are we growing up? Are we grown ups now?"

    6,685 9

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