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    Scorpius, Albus, Rose
    Primary Relationship
    Secondary Relationship(s)
    General, Humor
    Next Generation
    Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse
    Story Reviews
    Work In Progress (WIP)
    First Published
    2009-08-17 6:38am
    Last Chapter
    2010-07-31 11:03am
    Last Updated
    2010-07-31 11:03am

    Track This Story: Feed

    Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
    1 On The Hogwarts Express (om nom nom food)

    Rosie: I am stern and disapproving.
    Score: Stuff you, I'm not required to have opinions.
    Al: HI OCs
    Al: *PLAN*

    2,334 26
    2 SLYTHERIN! (so far so good)

    Al: *is in Slytherin*
    James: WHAT
    Rosie: I beg your pardon?
    Hagrid: WHAT
    Harry, in London: WHAT
    Ginny, somewhere: WHAT
    Everyone, everywhere: WHAT
    Ron, in London: *faints*
    Al: Exactly as planned!
    Slytherin Prefects: Hey lil' boy, want some Firewhiskey?
    Al: …Almost exactly as planned!

    5,534 14
    3 The First Day (dammit rosie, quit sucking)

    Lessons: We happen.
    Head of Slytherin: *teaches Potions! Oh God, the originality* *also, steals stationary*
    Rosie: *did not inherit her parents' awesomeness* *woe*

    4,168 13
    4 Defence Against The Dark Arts ("Quick! Jump out the window!")

    Harry: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
    Hagrid: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
    Al: I think I want Scorpius Malfoy to be my very best friend.
    Harry and Hagrid: We don't know why we even bother.
    DADA Prof: I have no moral problems with attacking small children.
    Al: I have a very bad feeling about this.
    Han Solo: Quit stealing my lines, kid.
    Al: If I stalk Scorpius more, he'll be my friend! That's how friendship works, right?

    6,657 9
    5 The Foreign Delegations (all your castle are belong to Durmstrang)

    Drinking Game: One sip per hyphen. (if you die, it's your own fault)
    Hagrid: *is not so much with the tact. I'm sorry, but it's true*
    Al's Dad: *apparently starred in a popular series of books! who'd have guessed?*
    Beauxbatons and Durmstrang peeps: *arrive*
    The Triwizard Tournament: *finally shows up*

    5,834 7
    6 Triwizard Related Stuff (chapter titles are hard, okay?)

    James: Hey, you know what would be funny?
    Faith: *beats him to death with a chair*
    James: ...no, not that.
    The Triwizard Champions: *are chosen*

    3,581 9
    7 The Daily Prophet (is a lying liar who lies.)

    Professor Brand: I still have no problems with attacking first-years.
    The Daily Prophet: I'm still full of lies.

    3,508 16
    8 All Is Well (al is in denial)

    Al: *denial denial everything is fine denial*
    Score: Everything is terrible and I wish I was at Durmstrang. Even Russia would be better than this.

    6,450 10
    9 The First Task (All Three Champions Die)

    Oksana: *dies*
    Victoire: *dies*
    French Guy: *dies*
    McGonagall: ...crap.

    3,733 7
    10 The First Task III (Victoire Dies)

    Victoire: *dies and is dead*
    Al: ;_;
    French Guy: *is doomed*

    6,202 7
    11 Rosie Continues to Suck

    Various Slytherins: *comic relief*
    Rosie: *continues to suck, right there, look at the title*

    2,163 8
    12 Then Suddenly It Was Christmas

    Teddy and Victoire: *scavenger hunt*
    Al: Hey Dad, secretly I want Scorp Malfoy to be my very bestest friend. Are you mad?
    Harry: B-buh-buh - adda - wibba -
    Al: *deploys the cute*
    Harry: I mean that's totally fine, Al, whatever you want.

    4,205 11
    13 James Ruins Everything

    James: *blithers, ruins everything*

    4,212 18
    14 Al and Score are Evil Soulmates

    Score and Al: *are friends?*
    Score: *not having good day*
    Faith: *also not having good day, but all her own fault*
    Score: guuuiiiilt, guuuuiiiiiilt
    Lew: *squirm*
    Al: GUILT
    Lew: Okay whatever you want stop guilting me waaaaaah
    Score and Al: *not friends ahahahahaha SUCKERS*

    5,811 16
    15 The Champions Get Beaten Up By A Tree

    Al: *is mysteriously not there*
    Champions: *get beaten up by a tree, right there in the title, told you so*
    Al: *is mysteriously stalking people*

    3,985 9
    16 Al Schemes (business as usual, then)

    Al: I have to fix this by myself, because otherwise we won't have a plot!
    Score: We have a plot?
    T/V: *mush at each other*
    James: Al's Slytherin lovefest is getting really creepy. I don't think he knows how these books work.
    Al: *schemes*

    4,694 11
    17 Bloody Hell, Finally

    Al: Score! Let's be friends!
    Score: No. You're scruffy. And you smell. And I hate your face.
    Al: It's not optional, you know. Nar ships AS/S.
    Score: ...so we're boned.
    Al: Oh no. That won't be until sixth year.

    5,386 18
    18 Epilogue

    Victoire: It's better to lose honourably than to win by cheating!
    Victoire: *loses*
    Victoire: Huh. Should have cheated.

    7,945 23


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