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    Rating
    15+
    Chapters
    18
    Words
    86,402
    Characters
    Scorpius, Albus, Rose
    Primary Relationship
    Secondary Relationship(s)
    Genre(s)
    General, Humor
    Era
    Next Generation
    Advisory
    Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse
    Story Reviews
    232
    Status
    Work In Progress (WIP)
    First Published
    2009-08-17 6:38am
    Last Chapter
    2010-07-31 11:03am
    Last Updated
    2010-07-31 11:03am

    Track This Story: Feed

    Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
    1 On The Hogwarts Express (om nom nom food)

    Rosie: I am stern and disapproving.
    Score: Stuff you, I'm not required to have opinions.
    Al: HI OCs
    OCs: HI SLYTHERIN IS AWESOME
    Al: *PLAN*

    2,334 26
    2 SLYTHERIN! (so far so good)

    Al: *is in Slytherin*
    James: WHAT
    Rosie: I beg your pardon?
    Hagrid: WHAT
    Harry, in London: WHAT
    Ginny, somewhere: WHAT
    Everyone, everywhere: WHAT
    Ron, in London: *faints*
    Al: Exactly as planned!
    Slytherin Prefects: Hey lil' boy, want some Firewhiskey?
    Al: …Almost exactly as planned!

    5,534 14
    3 The First Day (dammit rosie, quit sucking)

    Lessons: We happen.
    Head of Slytherin: *teaches Potions! Oh God, the originality* *also, steals stationary*
    Rosie: *did not inherit her parents' awesomeness* *woe*

    4,168 13
    4 Defence Against The Dark Arts ("Quick! Jump out the window!")

    Harry: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
    Hagrid: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
    Al: I think I want Scorpius Malfoy to be my very best friend.
    Harry and Hagrid: We don't know why we even bother.
    DADA Prof: I have no moral problems with attacking small children.
    Al: I have a very bad feeling about this.
    Han Solo: Quit stealing my lines, kid.
    Al: If I stalk Scorpius more, he'll be my friend! That's how friendship works, right?

    6,657 9
    5 The Foreign Delegations (all your castle are belong to Durmstrang)

    Drinking Game: One sip per hyphen. (if you die, it's your own fault)
    Hagrid: *is not so much with the tact. I'm sorry, but it's true*
    Al's Dad: *apparently starred in a popular series of books! who'd have guessed?*
    Beauxbatons and Durmstrang peeps: *arrive*
    The Triwizard Tournament: *finally shows up*

    5,834 7
    6 Triwizard Related Stuff (chapter titles are hard, okay?)

    James: Hey, you know what would be funny?
    Faith: *beats him to death with a chair*
    James: ...no, not that.
    The Triwizard Champions: *are chosen*

    3,581 9
    7 The Daily Prophet (is a lying liar who lies.)

    Professor Brand: I still have no problems with attacking first-years.
    The Daily Prophet: I'm still full of lies.
    Harry: CAPSLOCK RAAAAAAAGE

    3,508 16
    8 All Is Well (al is in denial)

    Al: *denial denial everything is fine denial*
    Score: Everything is terrible and I wish I was at Durmstrang. Even Russia would be better than this.

    6,450 10
    9 The First Task (All Three Champions Die)

    Oksana: *dies*
    Victoire: *dies*
    French Guy: *dies*
    McGonagall: ...crap.

    3,733 7
    10 The First Task III (Victoire Dies)

    Victoire: *dies and is dead*
    Al: ;_;
    French Guy: *is doomed*

    6,202 7
    11 Rosie Continues to Suck

    Various Slytherins: *comic relief*
    Rosie: *continues to suck, right there, look at the title*

    2,163 8
    12 Then Suddenly It Was Christmas

    Teddy and Victoire: *scavenger hunt*
    Al: Hey Dad, secretly I want Scorp Malfoy to be my very bestest friend. Are you mad?
    Harry: B-buh-buh - adda - wibba -
    Al: *deploys the cute*
    Harry: I mean that's totally fine, Al, whatever you want.

    4,205 11
    13 James Ruins Everything

    James: *blithers, ruins everything*

    4,212 18
    14 Al and Score are Evil Soulmates

    Score and Al: *are friends?*
    Score: *not having good day*
    Faith: *also not having good day, but all her own fault*
    Score: guuuiiiilt, guuuuiiiiiilt
    Lew: *squirm*
    Al: GUILT
    Lew: Okay whatever you want stop guilting me waaaaaah
    Score and Al: *not friends ahahahahaha SUCKERS*

    5,811 16
    15 The Champions Get Beaten Up By A Tree

    Al: *is mysteriously not there*
    Champions: *get beaten up by a tree, right there in the title, told you so*
    Al: *is mysteriously stalking people*

    3,985 9
    16 Al Schemes (business as usual, then)

    Al: I have to fix this by myself, because otherwise we won't have a plot!
    Score: We have a plot?
    T/V: *mush at each other*
    James: Al's Slytherin lovefest is getting really creepy. I don't think he knows how these books work.
    Al: *schemes*

    4,694 11
    17 Bloody Hell, Finally

    Al: Score! Let's be friends!
    Score: No. You're scruffy. And you smell. And I hate your face.
    Al: It's not optional, you know. Nar ships AS/S.
    Score: ...so we're boned.
    Al: Oh no. That won't be until sixth year.

    5,386 18
    18 Epilogue

    Victoire: It's better to lose honourably than to win by cheating!
    Victoire: *loses*
    Victoire: Huh. Should have cheated.

    7,945 23

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