Al: *is in Slytherin*
James: WHAT
Rosie: I beg your pardon?
Hagrid: WHAT
Harry, in London: WHAT
Ginny, somewhere: WHAT
Everyone, everywhere: WHAT
Ron, in London: *faints*
Al: Exactly as planned!
Slytherin Prefects: Hey lil' boy, want some Firewhiskey?
Al: …Almost exactly as planned!

Harry: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
Hagrid: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
Al: I think I want Scorpius Malfoy to be my very best friend.
Harry and Hagrid: We don't know why we even bother.
DADA Prof: I have no moral problems with attacking small children.
Al: I have a very bad feeling about this.
Han Solo: Quit stealing my lines, kid.
Al: If I stalk Scorpius more, he'll be my friend! That's how friendship works, right?

James: Hey, you know what would be funny?
Faith: *beats him to death with a chair*
James: ...no, not that.
The Triwizard Champions: *are chosen*

Al: *denial denial everything is fine denial*
Score: Everything is terrible and I wish I was at Durmstrang. Even Russia would be better than this.

Victoire: *dies and is dead*
Al: ;_;
French Guy: *is doomed*

Teddy and Victoire: *scavenger hunt*
Al: Hey Dad, secretly I want Scorp Malfoy to be my very bestest friend. Are you mad?
Harry: B-buh-buh - adda - wibba -
Al: *deploys the cute*
Harry: I mean that's totally fine, Al, whatever you want.

Score and Al: *are friends?*
Score: *not having good day*
Faith: *also not having good day, but all her own fault*
Score: guuuiiiilt, guuuuiiiiiilt
Lew: *squirm*
Al: GUILT
Lew: Okay whatever you want stop guilting me waaaaaah
Score and Al: *not friends ahahahahaha SUCKERS*

Al: I have to fix this by myself, because otherwise we won't have a plot!
Score: We have a plot?
T/V: *mush at each other*
James: Al's Slytherin lovefest is getting really creepy. I don't think he knows how these books work.
Al: *schemes*

Victoire: It's better to lose honourably than to win by cheating!
Victoire: *loses*
Victoire: Huh. Should have cheated.