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Rating
15+
Chapters
18
Words
86,402
Characters
Scorpius, Albus, Rose
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Genre(s)
General, Humor
Era
Next Generation
Advisory
Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse
Story Reviews
230
Status
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2009-08-17 6:38am
Last Chapter
2010-07-31 11:03am
Last Updated
2010-07-31 11:03am

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 On The Hogwarts Express (om nom nom food)

Rosie: I am stern and disapproving.
Score: Stuff you, I'm not required to have opinions.
Al: HI OCs
OCs: HI SLYTHERIN IS AWESOME
Al: *PLAN*

2,334 26
2 SLYTHERIN! (so far so good)

Al: *is in Slytherin*
James: WHAT
Rosie: I beg your pardon?
Hagrid: WHAT
Harry, in London: WHAT
Ginny, somewhere: WHAT
Everyone, everywhere: WHAT
Ron, in London: *faints*
Al: Exactly as planned!
Slytherin Prefects: Hey lil' boy, want some Firewhiskey?
Al: …Almost exactly as planned!

5,534 14
3 The First Day (dammit rosie, quit sucking)

Lessons: We happen.
Head of Slytherin: *teaches Potions! Oh God, the originality* *also, steals stationary*
Rosie: *did not inherit her parents' awesomeness* *woe*

4,168 12
4 Defence Against The Dark Arts ("Quick! Jump out the window!")

Harry: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
Hagrid: Al, stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.
Al: I think I want Scorpius Malfoy to be my very best friend.
Harry and Hagrid: We don't know why we even bother.
DADA Prof: I have no moral problems with attacking small children.
Al: I have a very bad feeling about this.
Han Solo: Quit stealing my lines, kid.
Al: If I stalk Scorpius more, he'll be my friend! That's how friendship works, right?

6,657 9
5 The Foreign Delegations (all your castle are belong to Durmstrang)

Drinking Game: One sip per hyphen. (if you die, it's your own fault)
Hagrid: *is not so much with the tact. I'm sorry, but it's true*
Al's Dad: *apparently starred in a popular series of books! who'd have guessed?*
Beauxbatons and Durmstrang peeps: *arrive*
The Triwizard Tournament: *finally shows up*

5,834 7
6 Triwizard Related Stuff (chapter titles are hard, okay?)

James: Hey, you know what would be funny?
Faith: *beats him to death with a chair*
James: ...no, not that.
The Triwizard Champions: *are chosen*

3,581 9
7 The Daily Prophet (is a lying liar who lies.)

Professor Brand: I still have no problems with attacking first-years.
The Daily Prophet: I'm still full of lies.
Harry: CAPSLOCK RAAAAAAAGE

3,508 16
8 All Is Well (al is in denial)

Al: *denial denial everything is fine denial*
Score: Everything is terrible and I wish I was at Durmstrang. Even Russia would be better than this.

6,450 10
9 The First Task (All Three Champions Die)

Oksana: *dies*
Victoire: *dies*
French Guy: *dies*
McGonagall: ...crap.

3,733 7
10 The First Task III (Victoire Dies)

Victoire: *dies and is dead*
Al: ;_;
French Guy: *is doomed*

6,202 7
11 Rosie Continues to Suck

Various Slytherins: *comic relief*
Rosie: *continues to suck, right there, look at the title*

2,163 8
12 Then Suddenly It Was Christmas

Teddy and Victoire: *scavenger hunt*
Al: Hey Dad, secretly I want Scorp Malfoy to be my very bestest friend. Are you mad?
Harry: B-buh-buh - adda - wibba -
Al: *deploys the cute*
Harry: I mean that's totally fine, Al, whatever you want.

4,205 11
13 James Ruins Everything

James: *blithers, ruins everything*

4,212 17
14 Al and Score are Evil Soulmates

Score and Al: *are friends?*
Score: *not having good day*
Faith: *also not having good day, but all her own fault*
Score: guuuiiiilt, guuuuiiiiiilt
Lew: *squirm*
Al: GUILT
Lew: Okay whatever you want stop guilting me waaaaaah
Score and Al: *not friends ahahahahaha SUCKERS*

5,811 16
15 The Champions Get Beaten Up By A Tree

Al: *is mysteriously not there*
Champions: *get beaten up by a tree, right there in the title, told you so*
Al: *is mysteriously stalking people*

3,985 9
16 Al Schemes (business as usual, then)

Al: I have to fix this by myself, because otherwise we won't have a plot!
Score: We have a plot?
T/V: *mush at each other*
James: Al's Slytherin lovefest is getting really creepy. I don't think he knows how these books work.
Al: *schemes*

4,694 11
17 Bloody Hell, Finally

Al: Score! Let's be friends!
Score: No. You're scruffy. And you smell. And I hate your face.
Al: It's not optional, you know. Nar ships AS/S.
Score: ...so we're boned.
Al: Oh no. That won't be until sixth year.

5,386 18
18 Epilogue

Victoire: It's better to lose honourably than to win by cheating!
Victoire: *loses*
Victoire: Huh. Should have cheated.

7,945 23

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