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Rating
Mature
Chapters
37
Words
131,397
Characters
Lupin, Snape, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, OC
Primary Relationship
Sirius/OC
Secondary Relationship(s)
James/Lily, OC/OC, Remus/OC
Genre(s)
Fluff, Romance, Young Adult
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme
Story Reviews
315
Status
Completed
First Published
2009-04-30 1:43pm
Last Chapter
2014-03-28 6:25am
Last Updated
2014-03-28 6:25am

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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Chapter 1: Just Friends

"So it begins with a goblin, an underwear store, and Remus Lupin..."

8,679 22
2 Chapter 2: Just Be Here Now

I suddenly feel angry with myself for being happy and close my eyes, trying to eradicate the haunting image of my mother from my mind as I fall into a memory of mercury eyes and silver stars. 

6,914 11
3 Chapter 3: Hello, I Love You

“Lily, I love you.” James said, smiling broadly.

“Yes, good morning James.” Lily replied, not looking up from the knife in her hands. Haha, I can just see the ‘swish and flick’ repeating in her mind.

“But I mean it!” he whined, pouting.

“So do I, I hope you have a good morning.” She smiled up at him.

7,608 12
4 Chapter 4: Make You See

“Ah!” Maisy says, when a piece of buttered toast slides off her plate and lands, butter down on her school skirt. Sirius picks up a napkin and starts rubbing it off. Urm... Awkward?
Everyone looks at him, even Maisy looks a bit freaked out.

“What? It was worth a shot!” he said easily, dropping the napkin and handing it back to a giggling Maisy.

4,355 7
5 Chapter 5: Mama, I love you

“You’re such a fighter, darling girl. You know that?”

He called me darling girl.

“I don’t feel very strong at the moment.”

“That’s natural, Maisy. How can I make this slightly better?”

He wants to make this better.

“You already have.”

6,587 10
6 Chapter 6: What Am I To You?

“Lily wait!” I shouted over the hustle in the common room.

“What now, Sirius?” she said, obviously wanting to leave sooner rather than later.

“Just, look after my Heart, okay? I’ve left her with you.”

1,918 15
7 Chapter 7: Wish You Were Here

In fairytales, Alice falls through the looking glass and enters the most magical of worlds. Full of mythical cats, extinct creatures and impossible possibles. My looking glass was like looking into my life, in the overcast gloom of England. The rooms were dark, everyone’s faces were faded and blurred and just looking through the glass made your heart twist.

3,719 11
8 Chapter 8: Dyin' On The Inside

“You’re much prettier Sirius! And I’m sure you have the nicer broomstick.” James jeered. Of course, hilarious. “She didn’t even answer him, she just burst into tears instead I think…”

2,872 9
9 Chapter 9: Save Me (From Myself)

“Maybe! But I do know this…” he whispered, and he leant into me, kissing me full on the mouth, pulling at my waist, and keeping a firm grip on my back. I tried to resist, but his hold was too tight, and I couldn’t break out. He seemed to hold me forever.

2,884 10
10 Chapter 10: Separately

I’m so in love. So so so so sooooooooooo in love. The clouds threatening rain look like fluffy bunnies. The icy ground looks like meadows, blossoming with sunflowers. Life, is good.

3,440 8
11 Chapter 11: (Never) Let Your Heart Win


This year, I was already worried that this would not be the same Christmas. It’s the twenty fourth of December, late afternoon, but the sun is so low in the sky that the whole house is filled with dark shadows already, and the floors are frozen, like the cold winds that are blowing up a storm outside.

2,487 7
12 Chapter 12: Finally

I sipped my champagne again, eyes still on this Siren, the one that was going to lure me in and push me off the edge. If there was a Golden Fleece on the other side, then I’ve decided I’m prepared to take that risk.

3,580 15
13 Chapter 13: Mine

“Is this real?” I said between her kisses.
 
“Uh-huh,” she replied, kissing my neck and giggling softly.
 
“You’re in my bed.”
 
“I am.”
 
“We’re in bed together.” I said.

1,546 9
14 Chapter 14: It's Alright

Going back to Hogwarts is like returning home from a long trip abroad and falling back into comfort, relishing it like luxury. School is no exception. The four poster beds, the open fires, the echoic corridors, scents of cooking wafting up from the kitchens – all this, and more, is what I class as home.

1,969 6
15 Chapter 15: Would you mind if I hurt you?

I walked into the dormitory late that night. Lea and Ava were sound asleep in their beds, but I saw that Lily was missing. I looked around for her and even poked my head out into the common room, where a few naughty couples were still dancing and petting. Where was she?

3,141 10
16 The Un-Perfect Life

“Lily’s pregnant.”

"SHE'S WHAT?!"

"You said you wouldn't judge!"


“I know but I thought maybe you’d broken up, or she had a disease or something – NOT A BUN IN THE OVEN.”

3,495 4
17 Chapter 17: So Much To Lose

“It’s okay, Maisy…” I said. But was it? My legs were numb and my head felt like it was aflame. I just wanted to close my eyes, just wanted to sleep.

2,610 5
18 Chapter 18: Here Without You

“Lily, he hasn’t woken up…” I said, oblivious to her words of comfort.

“I know, sweet, I know.”

3,258 8
19 Chapter 19: Life Remains The Same

“That’s it.” I let go of her hand and stalked down the corridor, away from my moaning girlfriend. Ha, girlfriend. Maisy Heart was my girlfriend, and had been for just over five months. Life was perfect, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

2,710 6
20 Chapter 20: He Was Mine

A thick tongue of fire spouted from Lucius’ wand and wrapped itself around our hands, burning our fingers and knotting our wrists. This vow was unbreakable. If we break it, we die. Simple.

2,358 4
21 Chapter 21: The Beautiful Disaster We Made

'The baby becomes quite sensitive to the surroundings and is aware of the happenings around. The baby starts having definite sleep and waking patterns and the expectant mother is able to identify these.’

1,898 5
22 Chapter 22: Pretending

“You’ll still have to rest though,” said Remus. “Finishing exams might be tough…” Lily looked gobsmacked.
“I’m getting through these exams Remus, Harry can just hold his breath for an hour every day!” she said, laughing.

2,824 4
23 Chapter 23: Make Me Cry

“Lily’s awake.” James laughed, pulling the covers over his eyes. “Maybe we should get up, I don’t want anymore pregnant wrath this week – I’ve had enough to last a lifetime.”

2,350 4
24 Chapter 24: The Only One

I didn’t want to think about Lily and Harry and the pre-eclampsia. I didn’t want to think about my father batting out on me, talking about leaving the country. I didn’t want to think about life outside school and the future – death.

2,820 4
25 Chapter 25: Don't Believe Her

“We’ve just got to kill her. Finish her.” I said, eyes dark.

"WHO! Who are we going to kill?” Peter cried, staring at all of his malevolent friends, all of whom had understood.

1,447 4
26 Chapter 26: Can We Survive It Out There?

“You prejudiced, idiot boy!” she cried, spinning to face him, her own wand now jabbed under his chin. “You think anyone who is separate to your pompous self is a nobody, don’t you?”

3,888 5
27 Chapter 27: Life Doesn't Give You The Love You Expect (There's Always The Next)

“I’d get up to Madam Pomfrey quick, James. Looks like you’ve found yourself a gold digger.” Sirius mused, indicating his thumb at Lily.

Well, that earned him a slap. Or two.
“And I’ve earned myself a psycho.” He pouted, rubbing his red cheek.

4,748 4
28 Chapter 28: Watching Death Coming

Then there was no breathing, no feeling under my hands. It felt like the world had ended, life had stop living. I whispered against her lips, so only she could hear…

5,750 5
29 Chapter 29: You're Worth The Fight

“No, I’m not leaving!” I stated, holding Maisy’s hands tightly with my own and running my ringers across her pale, cold cheek.

4,374 7
30 Chapter 30: Excuses, Excuses

Gang’s all here, was my first thought as I entered the bare room. There was no furniture in this one, except for a small chair in the corner, occupied by the only figure in the room who wasn’t shrouded in black.

3,031 7
31 Chapter 31: Words I Cannot Verbalise


“Remember I love you, okay?” Sirius said, biting his lip. “And all of us Marauders 
were sworn to secrecy for your own benefit – I didn’t want you to feel hurt or betrayed because of this. I thought it was the right thing to do. We were never going to tell you because you didn’t remember anyway…”

1,989 8
32 Chapter 32: So Into You

“Heads together gents! We’re gunna need a fool proof plan,” James said, smiling at me. He knew this would kill me, I could see the concern in his blue eyes, but this was for the best.

2,819 7
33 Chapter 33: Your Kiss Might Kill Me

“Maisy – I’m sorry – I wanted to tell you a thousand times – I just didn’t think you’d -“
React like this?

2,695 8
34 Chapter 34: Can't Believe It

“My father killed your mother… You knew that though. That just proves what idiots my family are. My mother is called Walburga, that’s just a crime in itself!"

3,366 12
35 Chapter 35: Little Bit Safer

“It’s okay Harry,” she whispered, kissing the fingers on my hand one by one and keeping her vibrant emerald eyes locked on mine. “Mama’s here. Daddy’s here. No one’s gunna hurt you. No one’s gunna hurt you…”
 

2,915 8
36 Chapter 36: What's Mine Is Yours

“Don’t swear around Harry!” James whispered loudly, using both hands to cover separate areas on Lily’s stomach as if Harry’s ears were there.
“It’s my cervix he’s coming out of and ruining for the rest of eternity – I’ll swear if I want to,” Lily hissed, slapping James’ hands away from her.
“You know you’ve offended him now! He’s gunna give you a long and difficult labour for being so rude about him!” James laughed.

4,242 11
37 Chapter 37: No More Life Alone

First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone
Where’s life taking me?

4,111 23

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