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Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Teddy, Scorpius, Albus, Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Teddy/Victoire, OC/OC
Drama, Humor, Romance
Next Generation
Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Story Reviews
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2009-01-11 5:47pm
Last Chapter
2013-01-28 12:03am
Last Updated
2013-01-28 12:03am

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 A Prologue of Sorts

I slammed my fist into Malfoy's nose. “JESUS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

“What was that for!” he moaned, clutching his nose. “Stop calling me names! Who is Jesus?”


5,816 41
2 Rescue Plans, Dark Wizards, and....Chocolate?

And nailed to the wooden plaque was a skull still wearing a crown. It seemed like we had found out what’d happened to Old Skele’s head. The skull’s hollow eyes seemed to stare sinisterly down at us. In a quick motion, its bony jaw moved and the skull whispered maliciously, “I see you.”

6,487 25
3 Getting School Supplies Has Never Been This Fun

“However fun it may seem, exploding things isn’t an option,” Zelda said flatly. “Especially not a street in bright daylight.”

“What if a bunch of Slytherins were sitting on the street?” needled Xander.

“I’ll target and stab them individually,” said Zelda calmly. “Who says the street itself has to suffer?"

7,790 18
4 The Welcome Feast Gets [REALLY] Messed Up

I closed my eyes meditatively and thought out my entire Plan. The Plan I had been formulating ever since Al had told me how mean and nasty Malfoy had been to them. I opened my eyes and stared directly at him and Jag. “No, it’s going to be you two. I’m going to make you boys the distraction.”

“Exactly what kind of ‘distraction’ are you making us into, Rose?” Jag asked uneasily. “You’re dressing us up as half-naked, plumed, headdress-wearing Vegas dancers, aren’t you?”

7,364 22
5 Blame the Blond

“So, Malfoy, I wouldn’t put it past you to retaliate against Weasley somehow.” McGonagall finished. “I believe your actions caused Weasley and the others to plan out a quite well-thought out prank that ended you and your friends up with afros and tails.”

“They were My Little Pony tails,” I added. “I didn’t know the full Charm to make them into ponies, though.”

“ROSE!” Xander and Zelda cried at the same time in dismay.

4,156 12
6 The Potter Strikes Back

Jag coughed. “Al and I decided that Rose has to do two pranks. Not just one.”

“And I have to get caught for both?” I was horrified. “Are you MENTAL?”

“You have to get caught for the second one. That’s the bigger one. You can get caught for the first one too, if you really want to be in our good books.”

7,290 16
7 The Paintball Gun of Doom

From the high steps of the marble staircase, we watched the entire Entrance Hall go up in flames, gray smoke, and multicolored, rainbow sparks. It was a beautiful scene really. The smoke brought tears to my eyes. Who could’ve thought that I had the ability to set off a mini-gay Vesuvius in the Hogwarts Entrance Hall….

“How the hell?” said Malfoy in a rather awe-struck voice.

A deranged smile spread on my lips. "Al gave me too many firecrackers. I was only supposed to blow up Filch's office."

5,107 3
8 I Believe I Can Fly

I blinked. Kai Evergreen + physical labor? “Since when do YOU want play a SPORT?” I asked in an incredulous voice. 

He looked at me with a defiant eye. “I don’t, but I want to! Teach me, please! I heard Al say that you’re a brilliant Chaser. I want to be a Chaser, too!”

I tried my best not to sound to aghast. “But WHY?”

“Does it matter, why?"

7,629 16
9 The Voices Speak To Me Over Waffles

 “Rose?” Liam’s eyes widened. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” I said hastily, looking at my beautiful waffle. “I’m just…” Talking to myself. Great. If I said that, my date would think I was nuts. “This kind of vanilla and chocolate don’t taste too good together.”

“Hmm? Really? What kind of flavor did you want, then?”

I bit my tongue. Blueberry, I wanted blueberry. But Malfoy ordered blueberry.

7,701 18
10 Drag Queen Halloween

“You can’t seriously be this stupid, Jaggy.” I said in a dry voice. “She has a ballerina outfit. You’re not wearing any clothes. What do you think she’s going to do?”


“THEY’RE TURNING US INTO FEMALES!” Al screamed intelligently, running toward the door.

9,104 26
11 The Mother of the Enemy

Rose Weasley + Malfoy + [two weeks x same house] = Rose Weasley + Dead.

9,106 29
12 Le Fantôme de l'Opéra

“His dad could be the metaphorical Phantom!”

Zelda faced me. “So, you’re telling me that some creepy dude lived underneath Irene’s theatre and stalked her when she was thirteen.”

“That explains why Jag’s so twisted,” I snickered a bit. “Genes, you know. Heredity.”

“Great, so Jag’s got bits and piece of creepy stalker guy inside him."

3,062 18
13 Love Police

I fought my inward panic. “But that’s ridiculous! He can’t fail me for not falling in love!

“He can if it’s a homework assignment,” Zelda pointed out.

“And since when has Teddy followed the rules of being a normal professor?” Xander added.

Zelda clapped me on the shoulder. “Face it, mate. You’re either falling in love or failing the class.”

4,296 14
14 Aftershock

Irene suddenly looked furious. “That chicken is your grandfather, Jag!”

“What?” Zelda said. “Did I hear that right? Your grandpa’s a chi—?!”

“When Grandpa died, Mum says that his spirit was transferred into that chunk of poultry.” Jag rolled his eyes. “What load of bull.”

3,530 18
15 Monster Soup

Madame Jagneaux gave one look at the gigantic cauldron and her expression turned into a scowl. “What iz dees trash? Eet looks like a cesspool of feces.”

“It’s Chicken Cordon Bleu,” Zelda announced proudly.

5,561 21
16 The Last Stand of the Shower Perv

“Yes. I would like you to fix her marriage with Irene’s son.”

“HO—” Zelda started to shout, but Xander and I pounced on her, sitting on her and nearly squishing her against the floor. I eagerly gripped my Extendable Ear, straining to listen to Giselle’s response.

“Are…” her voice was croaky. “My grandson and her, are they in love?”

6,936 14
17 Buy Me A Dog Bone

“Hello, Miss Weasley, Mr. Malfoy,” the bloke said, giving us a smarmy grin. “You have made me the happiest reporter in all of England.”

“Who the hell are you?” Malfoy spoke sharply. “And who gave you the right to take photos of us? Once I tell my father—”

“I’m sure your father would love to see these photos,” the man said, leering at him. “Imagine his face, when he opens the Daily Prophet and BAM! The blaring headline: SCORPIUS AND ROSE! CAUGHT ON A DATE—”

6,344 32
18 A Business Proposition

“I’m a very persuasive stalker, oh yes, I am!” Adrian said with a laugh. “I had to kneel on the pavement for several hours a day and throw up confetti whenever she poked her head out of the window. That didn’t work so I followed her to her apartment and picketed the area with signs.”

Silently, I wondered how many times this guy had been arrested.

4,219 36


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