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The Perfect Cut by starless_glamour

 
Rating: MatureStory Reviews: 334
 
Chapters: 39
Words: 112164
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Genre(s): Humor, Romance, Angst
Era: Marauders
Pairings: James/OC, James/Lily, OC/OC, Sirius/OC
Status: Work In Progress
First Published: 2008.10.04
Last Published Chapter: 2012.07.26
Last Updated: 2016.05.16
Favorite Story Of: 136 users
 
Advisory: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse

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It was love at first smite for James and I…the first time I saw him I nearly killed him via suffocation by cleavage (his own, thankyouverymuch) after he said my name was manly (the bastard) …it turns out our love really does know no limits. Oh, and did I mention that I’m dying? No? Hmm. Funny how that always slips my mind.  banner TDA sweet_dreams 50,000+ reads!!

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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews Read
1 My Little Problem

“Hi, Mr. C. Good summer? How’s the hubby?”

“Mind your own business! And for the love of all that is holy, please get inside, before I’m forced to mark you down.”

Oh, and here’s the bell. I am o-ficially tardy. Teehee. I’m such a rebel.


Just a small view into Max's school life...

2607 18
2 Scones, and why I Hate Them

“You could have died. I won’t let that happen again, Max. I’m going to be with you from now on, all the time; nothing can hurt you any more.” He gives me a fiercely protective look. Wait…did he say he’s going to be with me all the time? NOOOOO!

After an unfortunate series of events, Max and Ben get ready to start their journey.

2529 9
3 Follow the Yellow Brick Road...wait, WHAT?

“Of course. Follow the yellow brick road, and you’ll get where you want to go.”

St. Mungo's is introduced to Max.
...
Poor, poor, hospital.

2346 8
4 My Life is Defined by Awkward Conversations About even more Awkward Body Parts

“Hey, you! You, with the funny hair!” I call out, hoping for directions. He looks over at me, eyebrows raised. I inhale a quick breath; he’s gorgeous. “Show me where the main lobby is.” I command. He chuckles.

Max, meet James. James, Max.
Now that that's settled, let's move on to the real drama...

2538 8
5 Addiction

“Hey mum, do you mind if Remus comes over tonight for dinner?” I look up; James is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a casual sort of elegance. Our eyes meet; I feel a slow blush creep up my cheeks. My heart stutters. Mrs. Potter gives a small intake of breath, looks at me, and then looks at James, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Max is very confused about her feelings for a certain messy-haired Marauder.

2939 8
6 The Plan

“ME, JAMES. You are going to make your little flower girl jealous by using ME.”

“Oh. Oh, okay then.”

Sheesh, I should be getting paid for this.



Max and James come up with a plan to snare Lily.

2131 9
7 James: You and Me, On the Floor, NOW!!

“Whatever you say, Prongs. I’m just glad that Max here is a girl. I must say, when Remus told me that I have to ‘go see James and his new love interest Max’ I was quite concerned.”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” James and I both ask at the same time, outraged.


James and Max have fun on the floor of the Hogwarts Express.

2704 8
8 Why it's a Bad Idea to Diss a Hat's Mother


"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

Max gets sorted.

2659 7
9 New Friends, New Problems


Nope!” He says happily. I glare at him. “Try again! It starts with the letter ‘k’ and has and ‘i’ in it.”

“Kiln. Kip. Knit. Kindle. King. Kill. Killjoy. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.”

“I’m sensing a pattern here,” Sirius says thoughtfully.


Max and Hattie sneak into the Gryffindor common room.

2268 6
10 Riddles and Hot Chocolate


“Can I tell you?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Well, can I
trust you?”

“Of course.”


Max confides in Jimmy.

2750 8
11 Me vs. Her vs. Those Tacky Sequined Platforms

“You wanna fight, Evans?” I ask loudly. She stands; she’s even taller than me. Exactly James’s height, I notice.

“No, I do not want to fight. And if you threaten me like that again, I will dock you points.” She glares at me, and I glare right on back.

“It’s on,” I hiss, “It is soo on. You have no idea who you’re messing with.”


Max and Lily have a little dispute at the breakfast table. Whose side will James take??

2200 8
12 The Fight


Jimmy steps in front of me, so he’s right in front of James. They’re almost exactly the same height.

“Piss. Off.” He hisses, jaw and fists clenched. “Or I swear, Potter, I’ll wreck that pretty little face of yours.”


A fight breaks out between James and Jimmy in the Gryffindor common room. Who will come out on top? And how will Max react?

3853 8
13 Stalkerish Behavior

“Dick Van Holsen, at your service!” He says, winking.

“I sincerely hope you’re kidding,” I say.

“Nope! So, you’re the famous Max…not too shabby, I must admit.” He walks around me, looking me up and down a couple times. “Of course, I’m more of a brunette type myself, but…”


Max meets Dick.

3541 10
14 Let the Ferns Fall Where They May

“OMIGOD!” Another voice screeches; I’m guessing that it’s Brigit’s. “Is that a BOY in your bed?”

Max gets a night-time visitor and realizes a life-long passion of hers for ferns and soil conditioning.

2955 4
15 Blind Accusations and Bikinis

I should probably go a bit lower. I’m breathing fast in the excitement; my lungs are starting to ache. Fuck. I fly lower and slower, trying to calm my racing heart and rapid breathing. I should land now. I should definitely land.

Max serves a detention she will never forget.

2597 8
16 It'd be Easier if I Hated You

“C-can you maybe s-step back from me?” I ask breathlessly, my face flushed. “Just a bit…I’m having trouble concentrating.”

Max and Jimmy talk.

1713 8
17 From Another Perspective

I’ll let you pretend to be asleep, Max. I’ll let you pretend this never happened.

Jimmy's Perspective

3036 7
18 R-E-S-P-E-C-T... the Sea Horses

“Yeah. Cute and friendly-looking. I respect the sea horses; the dudes understand us. They’re the ones who give birth, you know.”

...Max makes an important decision.

3395 8
19 Under the Bleachers

...I feel hands grab me from behind, and they aren’t friendly hands either. One covers my mouth; the other reaches down and grabs both my wrists, preventing me from struggling or screaming. The boys are too distracted by the game to notice anything, of course. I try and break away from the grip, but it’s dragging me down, under the bleachers, and then I’m thrown down to the ground, and a figure is looming over me...

Max is a victim, witness, and culprit. Not bad for a day's work!

3303 9
20 Remembering is Definitely Overrated

And I know, as some things are just known, that this girl will hurt someone badly some day. Hurt them so deeply they may never recover.

Detention is served.

1865 8
21 Nightmares, Yoga, and Cramps (In that Order)

“I don’t mean to sound offensive, but can you possibly…err…stop doing your yoga, or whatever? It’s rather…awkward.”

Max does the Downward Facing Dog.

2441 2
22 Pranking the Pranksters

“I have an idea!” Eira says suddenly, looking mischievous. “Why don’t you walk back up to the castle with Potter, Jimmy? Max and I can take a walk by ourselves.”

Some Extreme Pranking is going on... watch out, Marauders! The girls are out to getcha.

3974 11
23 Part One of Three: The Set-Up

I have made this prank into a, shall we say, mini-series of sorts; it will be split into three parts, The Set-Up, The Dish-Out , and The Clean-Up. Enjoy!

“Thas alright, Hattie my luv, I myself have quite the wandering eye…in fact, Max, you look quite sexually alluring today…” Dick waggles his eyebrows at me, and I pull out from under his arm.

Part one of the "Prank Trilogy"--the Set-Up.

2991 7
24 Part Two of Three: The Dish-Out

And then all of a sudden, the second the lake was in sight, Dick went charging towards it yelling “BOOOOOBIES!” at the top of his lungs, while trying to rip his shirt off. He ended up blindly tripping over a log and landing flat on his face, grunting upon impact, his shirt still half-on, half-off, covering his head. “Fuck.”

Part two of the "Prank Trilogy"--the Dish-Out

2171 4
25 Part Three of Three: The Clean-Up

“You can’t expect us to let this go, Max. And you know what they say.” He grins suddenly, pulling my mouth to his. Against my lips, he whispers, “Payback’s a bitch.”

The Final Part in the "Prank Trilogy"

2364 6
26 Changing of the Tide

“What?” A harassed-looking Madam Pomfrey grumps, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, her hair down. When she sees me, she sighs. “Oh, bugger, not you again.”

This chapter could change everything.

3197 13
27 Mr. CeCe and the Land of the Butterflies

“Hello, what’s your name?” I ask it. It blinks.

“My name is Suzie Chakoozie, and I am the King of the butterflies. And you are my Queen,” the butterfly says to me.


Max goes a bit wild with the anesthetics.

4318 6
28 Butterfly Kisses

“Hey there, DeVough! You’re looking scrumptious, as usual!” Dick says, waggling his eyebrows at me. “Fancy a quick shag when you’re well again?”

“Shut up, you twat!” Eira says, glaring reproachfully at Dick. “I swear, I am this close to chopping off your namesake and feeding it to the giant squid.”


Max's friends come for a visit, and she and James have a talk.

2522 10
29 Is He CRAZY?!? Oh. Wait. Of Course He Is. He's a Marauder.

“Hey! Hey you with the big head and creepy bark-laugh thing! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!” I throw a pillow at his head. He ducks it easily, and moves towards me, and next thing I know he has me in a huge hug. I’m too surprised to even fight it.

Sirius and Max have a nice little one-on-one.

3939 10
30 Tragic Tony the Scarface (Ian, for short)

“You don’t know anything, bitch,” he growls at me. “Nothing.

“Coward. Selfish bastard!” I call rudely back at him. As the nurse wheels me quickly out of the room, I give him the middle finger. “ASSHOLE!” I call loudly, even though he’s out of sight now.

“WHORE!” He calls back.

I can already tell we’ll be friends.



Max makes a new friend.

3267 13
31 I Can Think of Worse Ways to Nearly Get a Concussion...

I crashed, whammed, or slapped into six feet, three inches of pure, unadulterated hotness.

Max runs into Mr. Franklin.

2262 11
32 Black Lace, Bubblewrap, and her Band of Merry Ferrets

“And this one is Hummus, named after my favorite Mediterranean dish, and this one is Bubbles, and over there is Edgar—oh, stop moving, you silly thing!”

Max meets Mrs. Straley and her ferrets, and Mrs. Potter gets some interesting results back from the tests she'd given Max.

3061 9
33 A Velvet-Lined Coffin

God, I have to stop referring to them in the present tense. They no longer do, say, act, but did, said, acted. Forever doomed to the past-tense. One of the many disadvantages of being dead, I reasoned.

Memories are both painful to forget, and in this case, to remember.

3458 9
34 Bright Yellow Drinking Kicks

“We’re kidnapping you!” Sirius exclaims, looking positively thrilled with the notion. “In fact, I brought props!” He pulls out some shoddy-looking handcuffs and a bright red bandana.

Max is kidnapped whilst wearing hot pants, and Sirius makes a Pun.

3876 14
35 Consummation FTW!

“YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” he yells, only in whisper format.

“What else would we be doing at his house, in his room, ALL ALONE?” I ask.

“Wizard chess,” Remus suggests.

“Exploding snap,” Sirius adds.

“Leap frog?” Remus asks, definitely laughing now. I glare at them both.


Most awkward love scene EVER. Enjoy :)

3620 11
36 Becoming Benjamin

Sooo, it’s over the river and through the woods, and back to England we go. To find out why I’m dying and do lots of lying and possibly jump off a cliff, yo ho!

Washington. Theft. Pregnancy Scares. Tranquilizers. And...Hairy Potter?

3011 8
37 I Love You, Remus Lupin

“I’ve missed you,” I say softly. “You look…really nice.” I swallow and try not to breath, because he smells freaking amazing, and I am NOT going there again.

“You look beautiful, as always,” he grins slyly at me. “Do you mind if I…kiss you on the cheek?”


Max discovers the truth about her parents' deaths, and the Potters throw a dinner party.

3361 10
38 Furry Little Problem, in the Plural

 Once upon a time, a girl was pricked by a needle. That needle had some badass dark magic on it. The girl lived with it for awhile, but eventually it was too much for her. Eventually she died. She died and the people who had once loved her forgot her or moved on.

Max contemplates her future and Remus shares his secret.

3207 7
39 Pregnant?

 “I need a pregnancy test potion.”

Max finally knows for sure whether or not she's pregnant, and Jimmy lends her an ear.

1195 6




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