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About that plan… You see, my first day as a seventh year was today.
My cousin looked at me as if questioning if I was joking or not. “Everyone calls it that. You get that look at least once a day. Even more when Our Lord is around. We’d call it love, but since you try and decapitate him every time we’re on the pitch that throws a wrench in it.”
He looked shocked. Fred looked shocked. Abby looked shocked.
“Silence young grasshopper. I have a plan.”
Ah well… must go to pure and simple prankary now.
“This? Oh, this is my special occasions false beard.” Why was he asking me this? Wasn’t it obvious? Who doesn’t wear special occasions false beards for their not-dates with their little sister’s ex-boyfriends who resemble stoats?
I was emo, and I wanted to go to my room.
"And it played the bagpipes! Who plays the bagpipes? No one plays bagpipes. And I would know! I go to school in Scotland. We are in Scotland! No one plays bagpipes!”
It was like I was speaking a foreign language. Who the Hufflepuff was this person here claiming to be Lucy? I had sent Chester Millicent off on a nice holiday, and had received a replacement named Jermaine, who liked to iron his shirts and make his bed.
"I've had the most awful couple weeks without you. There were these first years and they tried to kill me with bagpipes, and then I had to talk with the local nun, but I learned a new dance!"
I love my Gran so much. I would build a pyramid all by myself for her in Egypt because I love her so much. I would… I would do lots of stuff for Gran. Like eat my hair. Or give my dad a hug. That’s saying a lot. I would even hug a Malfoy!
It’s perfect for making bubble beards and playing with your bath toys. Mr. Duckelsworth likes it there. I’ve become quite good at the Bubble-Head Charm from playing mermaid in that bath. Only I’m a special mermaid because I don’t want to be icky and scary like real mermaids.
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