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Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, Oliver, OC, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Other Pairing
Secondary Relationship(s)
Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, OC/OC
General, Humor, Romance
Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing)
Story Reviews
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2008-06-01 3:37am
Last Chapter
2009-02-16 7:41pm
Last Updated
2009-04-01 10:10pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Lassie was a dog you idiot

I love Roger Davies and I hope Oliver Wood chokes on his stupid accent and dies—FINE Katie! I don't have any death wishes for Oliver (hehe).

1,080 9
2 One Happy Guy!

Somewhere in Scotland, Oliver Wood is reading the headline of the Prophet and laughing his gorgeous arse off.... he may be my arch nemesis, but I'm not blind people!

2,480 5
3 Cue the Spirit Fingers

I’ve decided that if Wood gets to have a bloody compound, I sure as hell want one too! I’ll house gorgeous Quiditch players, whorship Roger Davies, and have Oliver as my personal slave.

Ewww George! Not that kind of slave you perv!


Bad mental images.

1,235 2
4 Rogering

Is it wrong to be on a first name basis with your personal stalker and have a tiny crush on him? Probably, but hey it works for Kates and Ollie!

Cheese and rice, I was just kidding Katie! Put the quaffle down!

1,184 2
5 Holy Bologna!

Leanne & Satan 4eva!
Ol & Kat 4eva!!!!!
Ruthie & Chuck 4eva and eva and eva and eva and eva....

2,318 4
6 I'll be your Miss Piggy if you'll be my Kermit

Kermit makes me silly with girlish aspirations. If I was a frog I would sooo tap that.

No Wood, you’re a toad.

2,783 3
7 A Keeper

Oliver’s POV!

She threatens people in her sleep.

It’s kinda cute, in a creepy way.

2,803 7
8 Meet the Mates

Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park. Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park. Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park. Piddle-Puddle-Paddle-Piddle Park.

Try saying that ten times fast!

3,193 8
9 Cry Baby, Cry


Hmm, the last time I saw it I was throwing it at Wood’s head.

Oh dear lord. His head is huge. The box probably bounced off and is in Cuba right now.  Fidel Castro has my box of tissues.

Oh, hell no.

2,114 10
10 Oxy Sans Moron

It’s a proven fact that moron runs in my family.

Look at my Uncle Rico! He went to jail for trying to light one of the Buckingham Palace guards on fire!

Oh yeah, being obsessed with fire also runs in the family too.

2,040 10
11 You take the 'C' out of Class

Ruthie’s got sass,

Katie wants to be Ollie’s lass,

and Wood is a big fat a-.... well you know.

2,410 10
12 I miss the way you babble

Ba, ba, da BAAA!

Ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls, I am proud to present the misteress of mixtures, the beastiest of brewers, the princess of Potions.....

...........MISS RUTHIE SPARKS!!!

(Insert loud cheering and random male Quidditch players ripping their shirts off)

Sniffle, sniffle... I’d like to thank all my friends and family, my BFF Sev, and Oliver Wood for always inspiring me to create concoctions to help with my evil plots against him. Thank you so much! I love you guys! No, not you Wood.

2,401 14
13 Doing Naughty, Naughty Things

I just have one thing to say:

In your dreams Oliver Wood!

2,570 12
14 Oh Happy Day!

"Take your clothes off!"

"Pardon," I asked shocked.

"Take them off now," Oliver demanded gesturing to my nightie.

Dear lord baby Jesus.

2,452 11
15 With a Mustache

"It's not your fault you lost baby Jesus sweetheart, but-"


Ahh... there is nothing like childhood memories.

2,552 7
16 Just Because

He ripped his arm away from me, “Irrational, irrational!”

“Yes and also insane.”

“Insane, insane!”

Okay, is he just going to repeat everything I say!?

2,822 45


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