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Lupin, Sirius, James, Pettigrew, OC
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Story Reviews
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2008-02-29 4:26pm
Last Chapter
2012-05-16 5:56pm
Last Updated
2012-05-16 5:56pm

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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 shoddy shoddy. stupid.

“This is Hope Khol.” Peter of all people spoke up, proudly. “She’s the girl whose grandparents I stayed with during this summer.” The three boys nodded.

“You said she was shoddy looking.” James said with a raised eyebrow, examining me closely. Peter blushed brilliantly and I frowned.

"Thanks Peter."

1,056 10
2 ruined breakfast and the prefects bathroom

“Cut it out.” I shoved him.

“Cut what out?” He was playing dumb and I couldn’t stand it. What was I supposed to say? Cut out being really hot. Cut out being absolutely amazingly charming and funny. Cut out everyone in the school being in love with you. Just cut it all out, Sirius Black.

“Nothing.” I mumbled under my breath, deciding to keep my thoughts to myself.

2,389 7
3 oscar winning performance

“I think it’s rather exciting.” That would be Peter, the idiot.

“Exciting that she fainted?” James said, snidely.

“Shut up Prongs, that she’s here.” Peter pouted.

1,927 5
4 slughorn's sick humor

I pulled out my History of Magic notes for the next three chapters. I caught a few Ravenclaws glaring, enviously perhaps, at me and chuckled. If only they knew what had inspired my insane study session. He’s got stupid glasses and lame messy hair. And I think he’s gay. And he launched a vendetta against me in Potions.

Stupid James bloody Potter.

1,616 5
5 pity smiles for the crazy girl

Finally out of that awkward situation, I wandered around looking for another – in the form of Sirius Black, my secret lover. Oh, that sounded romantic! Maybe if I told my grandmother stuff like that, she would atleast feign interest. Then again, that would mean I would have to be comfortable using the terms “secret” and “lover” in front of my grandmother. Twice. I’m not quite sure if I’m at that point yet.

1,565 0
6 spontaneous revenge is most effective

Oh, no.

I did not just use the words “breathtakingly attractive” to describe James Potter. In no way shape or form do I have feelings for James Potter. I just had my heart stomped on by his best friend. To be truthful, I threw my heart out for Sirius to stomp all over, I just hadn’t expected it to hurt quite as much as it did – and so quickly. I looked over at James who was guiltily wracking his hands together in front of the fire.


1,618 1
7 penna sensus, bring it on

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on, Hopey?” Sirius finally spoke.

“Don’t call me that.” I hissed. Flitwick continued to go over his notes for class, not even looking up. “I hate nicknames.” I paused. “And you!” I pointed my finger at him sharply.


2,113 1
8 it's just guy stuff

“Sirius threw me in the bathtub.” I explained. Lily opened her eyes wide and gasped lightly. I shrugged. “I mean it worked.”

“He threw you in the bathtub?” She repeated. I nodded, lamely. I wasn’t really sure what else to say, but I was never one for conversations with girls. “Typical.”

Was it? I thought to myself.

3,426 1
9 blow up at the three broomsticks

My grandfather noticed me first, standing up with outstretched arms towards me.

“Hopeless!” His deep voice rang out through the tavern. Color rushing to my cheeks, I stepped forward. And so it begins. People wonder why I hate nicknames so much. Sirius and Tabitha turned their heads to acknowledge me as both of my grandparents smothered me in welcoming hugs. My grandparents settled me in between them, my grandmother clasping my hands as she exclaimed;

“Dear, what happened to your head?”

2,210 3
10 demon cherubs must die

"Merlin, Hope.” Sirius put his head down on the table; his messy black hair flopped in front of him in an adorable fashion. “It’s not like we’re dating or anything.” He sighed, which touched a nerve with me.

“I know we’re not dating!” I hissed at him. He smirked.

“I meant me and Tabitha.”

3,415 2
11 peanut butter and puffskeins

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” Remus smiled as he dabbed my arms with an ointment. It smelled like lavender and cherries. Standing, Remus pulled back the curtains of the bed and my mouth dropped open at the sight in front of me.

2,468 0
12 tabitha's ultimatum

I turned sharply and came face to face with James Potter. Behind his glasses, his eyes seemed to bore into me. I froze, clutching the strap of my bag. We stared at each other for a moment without speaking. James’ aura was cold, and mine was full of confusion. Where as Remus and Peter had accepted me through the whole Sirius thing, James seemed to stay on the outskirts whenever I was around. One-on-one James and Hope time happened very rarely, and both parties were fine with it. This was different. This was creepy.

1,982 2
13 the commotion before christmas

“Hope, it’s not what you think.” He grabbed my arm as I began to walk away. I turned to look at him, his long hair pulled back, his grey eyes searching mine in an attempt to figure me out. I was disgusted by him.

“Let me go.” I said sternly. He shook his head. “Let me go, Sirius.” His amazing grey eyes were begging me to let him explain. I shook my head in refusal, my heart felt like it had just exploded inside my chest.

1,714 3
14 henry, hardy and the whole story

"And then before I knew it, Sirius had another black eye, and you know what that means.” I hiccupped. “And here I am.”

It was silent for a moment, as my brothers stared at me in a bewildered daze. I blinked back at them, amazed at myself that I had gotten everything out. Then, my heart proceeded to break because I realized that, after everything that had happened, I was in love with Sirius Black.

2,918 2
15 truly hopeless motions

You think that I’m taking the easy way out?” My entire body filled with anger and hate. “You broke my heart, Sirius. Completely shattered it.” I paused. “Did you expect to just show up at my house and everything would be just fine? Did you expect me to greet you with open arms and a smile on my face after you kissed my cousin…”

“I DIDN’T KISS HER!” Sirius roared, his voice in a guttural tone. “James..."

2,420 2
16 phone calls and brotherly bodygaurds

. “Maybe if you hadn’t walked in on me like some peeping Tom I would have been able to pick out something a little nicer.” Color rose to both our cheeks.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” He said. I gasped and my cheeks flushed, intimate memories flooding my brain, but looked up to see him smirking.

“Why you!” I went to smack him but he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into his chest. “What are you doing?” I hissed.

2,145 6
17 unwanted invitations, reluctant rsvps

“You’re still a dork you know.” I hissed at him under my breath as my grandmother hummed happily around the oven. Peter smirked at me.

“So are you.” He whispered – not that my grandmother would hear as she danced around the kitchen, singing to herself.

“Well, duh.” I stormed out of the kitchen to mope in my room until New Years Eve.

2,071 13
18 new years eve, major events

"Seriously, Padfoot, just don’t be a jerk to her.”

“Me? A jerk to her! I won’t do that, or Prongs here will give me another bloody black eye.” Sirius said sarcastically, and I could hear James scowl in the background. I shook my head. I would be the one with the retarded social protector who hated my guts. Defenders of virginity and purity were supposed to sweep girls off their feet and take them to dinner after they fought against evil horndogs. I, of course, got the one who thought I was mental and spoke to me in grunts.

3,056 8
19 ringing in the new year right

“I wish you were Sirius.” I said into the darkness of my room. I make out his shadowed outline nodding in the dark.

“I wish you were Lily.” He said into the dark, and we both slowly drifted into sleep.

2,690 13
20 starting term off splendidly

Sirius Black did not look heartbroken.


He did not look upset.


He did not look like he spent the last few days rethinking each action of the last few months.


He looked great.

2,131 12
21 swearing off boys for spring

“I’m giving up boys for the term,” I blurted out awkwardly. Oh, I am such a fabulous disaster. A Cheshire cat grin spread across Sirius’ face slowly and I felt my cheeks flaming.

“Oh?” He sounded interested. “That’s lovely, Hope. Doing a bit of soul searching, are we?” He paused and took in my pink cheeks. “Are you giving up talking to boys, or just more inappropriate activities?”

2,564 4
22 confessions of a teenage animangus

“Sirius, look at me.” He raised his head and his grey eyes stared deeply at me. Everything stopped for me for a moment – a solitary moment that seemed to freeze in front of me. His nervousness, my confusion and the pure anxiety of the situation molded together as he stared deeply into my purple-flecked eyes and subconscious psyche. But then he threw his head into his hands again and continued swearing.

 If that’s not a self-confidence booster, I don’t know what would be. I immediately burst into tears.

2,655 6
23 severus snape and springtime theatrics

 “The only way you can help, Hope,” James began slowly, “is if you stay in the castle tonight. And please, for the love of Merlin, do not leave your room."

2,853 1
24 disaster during the full moon

“I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed. “I don’t know what to do, Sirius.” I bowed my messy head towards his. “How could you do this?” My voice was a whisper, and his face clenched when he heard me.

2,130 3
25 nothing like a little coma to spice up summer

“Look how paaaale you are,” Hardy wrinkled his nose. “Gosh, have you spent the whole summer in a hospital or something?” Henry snickered.

“I think that what you really need right now is some sun,” he nodded. “Definitely some sun. And a chainsaw to take to your hair – but that’s not really a new development.”

4,040 3
26 part II: from professional nobody to legitimately crazy girl

“I don’t really think we should talk about this right now,” he was making excuses and it made me furious.

“But, what –what? I’ve been waiting all summer.” I felt my bottom lip jut out. “James,”

“Hope,” he interrupted me – seemingly annoyed for no apparent reason. “I’ve got to go, I’ve got stuff to do.”

3,391 3
27 starry skies and accidental confessions

“If you had told me a year ago that you would be the only one of your lot to talk to me, I would have told you that you were mental.”
“Things change,” he shrugged. “It’s kind of nice though,” he made a move to lightly punch my shoulder with his cup. “Being mates and all.”

2,118 3
28 annabelle, word vomit and the first day of classes

Sirius sat on the couch, and I could feel his eyes boring into me as I ascended the staircase to the girls’ dorms. I tried to hold in more tears; he wasn’t going to follow me. He wasn’t going to rush after me and kiss me and tell me he loved me too. This was real life, and that’s not how things happened.

Sometimes the boy doesn’t love you back.

2,249 1
29 figuring it all out

“I’m not fun, Frankie,” I muttered and quickly exited the classroom. Frankie stammered slightly but let me go. He was a good guy. A nice guy. But I was a stupid, teenage witch. I didn’t want nice. I wanted brooding and aristocratic, and dear sweet Merlin, I wanted Sirius Black.

2,135 2
30 Study Buddies, Make Outs and Make Ups


“I’m here to study,” he grunted.

“Why here?” I prodded him, pushing his Defense of the Dark Arts textbook away from my Moon Charts.

“Because you don’t talk,” he began, and then ran a hand through his hair. “And I just got a Howler from my mum about how if I ever planned on being an Auror or getting a summer internship at the Ministry then my marks would need to drastically improve.”

3,452 5
31 intuitive friends and double date disasters

“So, will you do it then?” James questioned me, after a few moments of silence. I glared at him.

“You owe me.”

“Big,” he smiled.


3,015 2
32 a kitten, a puppy, a stag and a wolf in sheep's clothing

“Oh, shut it Hope,” James grunted. His ego looked bruised. “I’m dancing,” he paused, “obviously." I spun my head around to see loads of my fellow students also moving around like fools.

“I don’t,” I swallowed. “Dance.”

“Shocking,” James muttered. “You probably don’t even know how.”

That list of hexes was getting longer.

4,889 4
33 breakfast and brotherly advice

I had heard Sirius complain about his brother. “Brain-washed follower of the Dark Lord and Walburga Black.” He was supposed to be a slimy, Slytherin git – obsessed with the Dark Arts and Pureblood-mania. The boy who stood in front of me didn’t appear to be any of those things. Chisled, handsome and brooding - yes. Slimy - not quite. I should have known that a Black would never be slimy or unattractive. No wonder Walburga Black was such a nut, I'd think I was better then everyone else too if my gene pool could do that.

3,061 3
34 grand gestures of love

“A lot of Quidditch players use study to squeeze in extra practice,” he shrugged one cold, snowy December afternoon. “I think they just assume that’s where I go.”

“Where do your teammates think you go?” I prodded. Regulus, again, shrugged.

“Study period.”

4,765 5
35 fatherly visits and fireside confessions

“What is that git doing here?”

“I invited him,” I shrugged simply. “Now, were you dropped on your head too many times as a child, or did one of your idiot friends wipe your memory to make you forget that Tabitha and I are related?”

“No, I know you and Tabitha are related,” Sirius shrugged lamely. “I don’t see what the big deal is

5,591 7
36 from avoidance to protection

“Your dumb map must be broken,” I muttered as I passed by him. “Regulus didn’t show up today.”


I quickly turned back in surprise to see him storming down the hall. It took me standing on the tiptoes of my boots before I saw Regulus’ retreating figure, and Sirius’ storming quickly after his.

3,240 6


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