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Rating
Mature
Chapters
14
Words
31,213
Characters
Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Primary Relationship
Sirius/OC
Secondary Relationship(s)
James/Lily, Remus/OC, Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Humor, Romance, Angst
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers
Story Reviews
572
Status
Completed
First Published
2008-01-14 4:26pm
Last Chapter
2012-03-16 7:58pm
Last Updated
2012-03-16 7:58pm

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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 How To Tickle A Doorknob

“You tickle the door’s knob. It’s fulfilling, and gets both the person and the door exactly what they want.” Sirius’ voice was soft and sensual sounding. He winked at me.

2,380 26
2 Chocolate Is An Aphrodisiac

  “Remus,” Sirius said, seriously, “I didn’t know you were that happy to see me… I’m sorry, mate, I don’t swing at that side of the fence…”

  I raised my eyebrows, and watched as Remus’ gaze darkened and his cheeks reddened slightly, “That’s my wand, you perverted git. My… ahem,” He glanced over at me, “… isn’t on my thigh, you idiot.”

  Sirius shrugged, “Ah I never know with you.”

2,265 31
3 The Non-Existent Manhood Of Sirius Black

  “Sometimes?!” Sirius exclaimed in disbelief. He then said seriously (no pun intended), “If he doesn’t have a stick jammed up his arse I am quite happy to do it for him. Then he has an excuse!”

  “So… you want to jam things up Matthew’s arse?”

2,349 45
4 The Brightest Star In The Sky

  “Sirius…” I whimpered, wrapping my arms around his neck. He enclosed his arms around my back, pulling me into a firm embrace.

  “Shh… it’s okay…” Sirius voice was shaking, “Everything’s okay, I’m here. Nothing like that will ever, ever happen to you again. I promise you.”

  And then the funniest thing happened. I knew he meant it.

3,015 73
5 The Celibacy Of James Potter

  An annoying little voice at the back of my head laughed and said waspishly, ‘Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Clairy Fairy.’ Sirius was in my head too?! Oh dear Merlin’s left butt-cheek… great. Just great. I’m hearing his voice in my head. I’m now going crazy. Joy.

2,448 61
6 Something Illegal

I have decided that every girl who fancy the pants off Sirius (literally - they chase him around waving muggle forms of contraception), like to flip their hair.

2,878 65
7 The Pros And Cons Of Lingerie

Dorcas nodded in agreement, "Yeah, defiantly. I’m more of a... Covered in feathers person though, y’know?" She let out a sigh, "Nothing more sensual than a man covered in feathers..."

2,019 57
8 The Torn White-Nightdress

“I think that’s all we need to see,” I whispered, as the room dissolved around us again. The room was the one at the Potter’s again, and I turned to look at Sirius. He locked eyes with me, stunned. His eyes were filled with tears, and he wiped one hastily.

1,698 61
9 Bladder Control

  Sirius’ jaw locked - attack mode - and he advanced on Matthew. I pulled him backwards, and pushed Matthew slightly in the opposite direction. They were both breathing heavily and unevenly, red in the face.

  “Can we please stop talking about excrement and grow up?” I said loudly, “Please!”

2,072 44
10 The Definite Overrating Of Snogging In Broom-Cupboards


Despite the bottle feeling steady, it turned out it wasn’t. My arm slipped, I lost my balance and, subsequently, I bit Sirius’ lip. Hard.

“Claire!?“ Sirius swore; his lip had a bite-mark, “Whoever told me that lip biting is kinky is a liar.”

2,211 39
11 The Charm-Bracelet


“I can’t look at you right now.” Then, Sirius walked away. I wanted to scream how sorry I was. All I could do was choke.

2,046 46
12 Stupidity In A Sirius-Shaped Box

  A faltering hand lay on my shoulder for a moment, as I stood at the top of the last staircase. I stiffened, hoping it was Sirius. Spinning around, I saw no one. Was it a bloody ghost or what? My eyes widened with panic.

2,163 2
13 Pregnant, Ugly Blotches

Why are they all out to hurt a pregnant girl’s feelings? What did I ever do to them?!

1,810 1
14 To Merlin’s Belly-Button Fluff, And Back.

  I felt my head hit the bank, as I slipped into the water. I could almost, almost, hear my neck crack. I think it somehow interrupted my fall, causing a massive buzzing in my head and for me to scrape down the lake edge.

1,859 21

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