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    Rating
    15+
    Chapters
    8
    Words
    10,606
    Characters
    Harry, Mrs. Figg, Muriel, OtherCanon
    Primary Relationship
    Secondary Relationship(s)
    Other Pairing
    Genre(s)
    General, Humor
    Era
    Other
    Advisory
    Strong Language, Mild Violence, Contains Spoilers
    Story Reviews
    204
    Status
    Work In Progress (WIP)
    First Published
    2008-01-05 2:49pm
    Last Chapter
    2008-11-26 7:11pm
    Last Updated
    2008-11-26 7:11pm

    Track This Story: Feed

    Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
    1 Prolouge

    Everyone I knew said I hated my cousin. My teachers said it. My friends said it. My family, neighbors, and even just random people said it.

    And I beleived them.

    567 38
    2 The Vanished Glass

    I minded my own business on my eleventh birthday, he just happened to be able to talk to snakes.

    628 33
    3 Pig Tale (pun intended)

    Revised
    So let me tell you; going to the hospital to get a pig’s tail removed from your ass isn’t pleasant. So I’ll just sip over the bad details, shall I? Plus, sitting for hours in that hospital before they were ready for me really brought a lot of complex things to my attention, which took my mind of the surgery.
     
    First, my loser of a cousin was a wizard.
    Second, my loser of a cousin could do magic.
    Third, my loser of a cousin got all the luck.

    782 39
    4 The Best And Worst Birthday

    Could the school year have changed him from the easy-going toothpick to a dangerous wizard like mum had said?

    1,578 22
    5 Dennis and Diaries

    September 1st, 1972
    Dear Diary,
    Lily started Hogwarts today, and I am very sad. I want to go too, and so badly. Instead, I have to go to the local public school. I hope they are nicer than the kids in last year's school... 


    The first line alone made me drop the book like a hot potato. My prim and proper mother had had the same fantasies as I did? No wonder! I picked the book up and kept reading.

    1,609 18
    6 When the Aunts Come Marching In

    So I watched the boy who had blown up my least favorite aunt walk out of my life, for a year, at least.

    1,451 24
    7 Rugby

    He lead our team to a victory, winning by over 20 points, and damaging many of the other team members. With one look at each other, Malcolm, Piers, and I had the same thought.

     

    New gang member.

    1,387 17
    8 Rabbit Food

    The candy the redhead had dropped was just sitting there in the sitting room…it was so very tempting…how was I supposed to know that it was the product of some cruel joke?
     
    I stuffed it into my mouth. The next thing I knew, my tongue was slippering and slithering out of my mouth and onto the floor. It was purple. Wouldn’t you think that a tongue would be red? Well, it’s not. It’s purple. There. You learn something new everyday.

    2,604 13

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