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Harry, Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Molly, Pettigrew, OC, OtherCanon
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
James/Lily, Sirius/Lily, Sirius/OC
Drama, Angst, AU
Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Story Reviews
First Published
2007-08-09 6:10pm
Last Chapter
2008-08-22 9:53pm
Last Updated
2008-12-06 7:57pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Through the Veil

The pain was excruciating. The darkness pressed down, weighing a ton, and crushing his bones to powder. He was falling, falling, and the light above him was fading, but yet the veil still fluttered in front of his nose…

He reached out to grab it. He felt, he knew, that there was not much time left. If he could only grab the veil, that which separated the living from the dead, the pain would stop.

2,293 18
2 The Loneliness of Eight Years

Sirius’s insides heaved as if he was going to be sick, but nothing came out. Only a foreign, empty feeling remained in the pit of his stomach, closely reminiscent of an urge to vomit, but not quite right.

Unidentifiable, unrecognized, but horrid beyond belief, the utter loneliness of that day and the eight straight years that followed crashed upon the grown Sirius’s body, compressed into a slight second.

2,895 13
3 It Was a Strange Sensation

It was a strange sensation, to be so conscious of everything, to know what was going to happen, and at the same time feel incredibly detached from his body, which knew nothing.

2,291 12
4 A Bigger Mistake than Landing in Azkaban

"The first big party of the year, come on, it'll be fun!" Sirius said, eyes dancing with excitement.

A last obstacle in his adolescence, it would be a turning point in how he acted for the rest of his life. No longer would he be as pointlessly reckless, because now he would know the price he would have to pay to earn back trust.

3,267 10
5 Part I: The Morning After

“There were thirty drunk teenagers at that party last night, me included. But, Padfoot mate, none of them managed to make more of an idiot out of themselves than you!” Remus wasn’t mad as much as he just needed answers.

2,862 10
6 Part II: Confrontation and Guesswork

Sirius’s head whipped around, and he just caught a glimpse of a head of messy black hair before the Invisibility Cloak adjusted itself again, and the hole swung shut. James was following Lily.

Sirius grinned. This could only mean things were getting better. It was almost like old times.

2,247 11
7 Part III: Full Moon

Nodding to Peter again, Sirius picked James up carefully into his arms, and with the great difficulty and stooped silhouette of a very old man, made his way slowly into the shadows.

3,861 16
8 His Midlife Crisis Came Early

Tears were coursing down his cheeks in furious frustration, as Sirius stood, only a human channel through which strange, old magic could come and go as it pleased. It was just too bad that Merlin could defy anything and everything, in his mad realm beyond the veil, and that Sirius was helpless to protect his own thoughts.

3,342 10
9 Something To Live For

Sirius sighed, almost resigned to another trip back into the past. He was a seasoned traveler now. He was a martyr.

“I have not yet lost everything,” he told Merlin a split second before he was yanked away once more.

4,070 20
10 A Marauder's Last Stand

          Without waiting for a reply, Sirius rose from his chair and walked over to the fireplace. “You have half-an-hour, Mr. Potter,” he informed a startled James. “Go get ready, ‘cause the Marauders are hitting the town!”

3,406 9
11 Cathartic Experiences

          There was one thing Merlin was wrong about, though, Sirius thought to himself with a heavy heart. He had said that cathartic experiences were preferable to eons of solitude, but he didn’t know that a day of silence, invisibility was the same.

3,002 4
12 Dulce Et Decorum Est

“There was a saying after your time that goes, ‘Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.’ Sweet and proper it is, to die for one’s country. Why shouldn’t it be the same for family?”

1,847 4
13 Epilogue

Weeping softly, Remus clutched him firmly against doing more damage and continued to talk to him, as much for his own benefit as Sirius’s. Now that he held him, Remus knew that Sirius physically did exist, that he could be touched, that he was not merely an apparition borne of his own sick hope or insanity.

2,791 19


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