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Rating
15+
Chapters
33
Words
77,789
Characters
Lupin, McGonagall, Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Pettigrew, OC
Primary Relationship
Sirius/OC
Secondary Relationship(s)
James/Lily, OC/OC, Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Drama, Fluff, Romance
Era
Marauders
Advisory
Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Story Reviews
613
Status
Completed
First Published
2007-04-03 9:28am
Last Chapter
2007-09-14 3:15pm
Last Updated
2007-09-14 3:15pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Prologue

...

1,868 24
2 The unwelcome guest

They must have made a funny picture, Rachel often thought much later. Herself sitting on the couch, in barely more than her underwear, cereal and the broken pieces of the bowl by her feet, him standing beside the couch wearing only his boxers, his black hair ruffled, his expression shocked and bewildered.

2,595 17
3 Beautiful

Sometimes, he would look up from his flirting, shooting her an arrogant smirk over Ana’s head. He knew exactly what she was thinking, and obviously loved that she couldn’t do anything about it.
That was nothing new, he always loved it when she was uncomfortable.

2,140 14
4 Fight

Rachel had never thought it possible, but she was actually speechless. Sirius was staring at her, the cheerful twinkle in his eyes had vanished, he looked angry. After he had finished his speech, he slowly calmed down and leaned back in his chair again.
“Or maybe”, he said suddenly, “you don’t want to see me with another girl for completely different reasons …”

2,519 19
5 Back at school

“You know what? Talk to you later, Jo.”
Joanna looked at him, batting her eyelashes, and said in a low voice, “of course.” then, finally she left.
Rachel raised her eyes at Sirius. “Another stupid bimbo. What they see in you, I will never know.”
Sirius frowned and opened his mouth for a comeback, but was cut short.
“Rachel?” someone said from behind her.

2,544 12
6 Quidditch

Tomas made no move to do so. “I want another shot”, he hissed between his teeth.
“I don’t think so, Coyle”, she said. “You had your shot. This is the last time I’m telling you this. Leave. Now.” 
Tomas let out a strangled growl and advanced on her, looking ready to hit her in the face.

2,510 9
7 Regulus Black

“Oh, it’s Regulus Black, just the person I didn’t want to see!” she said, staring at Sirius’ brother with deep dislike.
Regulus’ eyebrows rose and he stepped closer. Rachel held her ground, her eyes flashing angrily. “Was there anything you wanted, Black?” It was apparent in her voice that she just barely restricted her strong temper.

2,188 20
8 Hogsmeade

Sirius’ eyes fell on her and his look of dislike mirrored the one she wore. His eyes seemed to narrow as they fell on Jason across from her.
He came strutting over to her and Jason, pulling the tall blonde along. 
“Well, if it isn’t my favourite little girl”, Sirius smirked, as soon as they had reached the table. “And with company, no less ...."

2,862 18
9 About poems, love and dark times

“I can understand what you’re thinking, but … well, believe me, my family doesn’t love me, and I don’t love them. Do you really believe it makes me less vulnerable in a war against someone who doesn’t even know what love is?"

2,375 21
10 The attention seeking idiot

Rachel smiled slightly, stood up and walked to the front of the class, the poem in her hand. Her eyes scanned the room and waited until everyone was looking at her, then she said clearly, “my poem is titled, ‘The attention seeking idiot’.”

2,026 17
11 Messed up

“He likes you”, she said abruptly.
“Jason? Well, I hope so …”
“No, not Jason. I’m talking about Sirius.” Joanna eyed Rachel intently.

2,915 23
12 Christmas

“Sirius”, she breathed. “Sirius, don’t go further, don’t…”
“What are you talking about, Rach?”
“Don’t go this way, Sirius, it’s not good, it’s not good!”

2,102 21
13 Sunset

“Well-“, she propped herself on her elbows, “let’s just say it’s always going to stay our big mystery, shall we?”
“The great mystery of Rachel and Sirius”, he said slowly, then nodded, satisfied. “Sounds good to me.”

2,360 21
14 Friends

“It depends on who the reason is that you’re happy”, he continued.
“It’s not you.”
“No, I wouldn’t have imagined it to be. It’s my brother.”
She said nothing.
“For someone who used to hate Sirius, you sure are spending a lot of time with him now, aren’t you?"

2,077 15
15 Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff

“The Gryffindor team narrowly missed the Cup last year, and we are all anxious to see if they will manage this year! Rachel Potter sure seems determined to do so!
“And off they are now, Gryffindor in possession of the Quaffle. Sirius Black is coming towards the Hufflepuff’s hoops, looking particularly dishy today…”

2,009 17
16 In the hospital wing

Jason paced up and down in front of her bed. “Don’t make me look like a fool. For the past weeks you’ve been talking about nothing but him. It’s Sirius here and Sirius there. It’s Sirius said this and Sirius thinks that … You spend practically all your time with him. And next thing I know, I walk in here to find him all over you.”

2,360 20
17 It's okay to cry

“You might have noticed that Sirius is the only one of the family not to be in Slytherin. He is kind of the black sheep. All his life he was eager to accomplish exactly the opposite of what our parents wanted. They were more than willing to support him, he was supposed to be very talented. But he tried to ruin the family peace by insulting our parents and their beliefs-”

2,064 17
18 In love

“Then you should put the past behind you! He didn’t hurt you while you were friends, why should he when you are going out? He cares about you, more than he cares for anyone else. And it’s not like you’re getting married or anything. You would be together, and I really think it would do you good. Look, Rachel, we’re in bad times. People live in fear. It would be good to have someone by your side. You shouldn’t be alone in these times, Rachel. And to you, I think he could, and would be the perfect boyfriend.”

2,548 17
19 Mistake

She stood in the doorway for a long while. Then she automatically reached for her wand and repaired the door. Walking over to her bed, she didn’t bother to change, but fell right into the cushions.
Seconds later, she was fast asleep.

2,388 18
20 A lost friend

"...Everyone needs love and the fact that on our side, love exists, is the fact that gives me hope. I need you all to stick together and stop love from disappearing. Keep it growing. It is our only strength.”
The hall was silent as Dumbledore finished his speech and sat down again.
Rachel felt worse than ever.

2,525 17
21 Unable to be friends

He deepened the kiss, and she finally got over the shock. She pushed him off of her and grinned nervously.
“Jason, we’re in a classroom, and-”
 “So?”

2,766 27
22 The attention seeking idiot's announcement

Lily and Dorcas exchanged a look. Then Lily took a deep breath and said slowly, “Do you … do you love him?”
Silence filled the room as Rachel let herself fall back on her bed, pressing the pillow to her face.
“Oh Rachel”, Lily said quietly. “Oh no.”
“I wish I didn’t”, Rachel’s muffled voice came from under the pillow. “I wish I didn’t love him … but I do … you have no idea how much.”

2,231 24
23 Siriusly in love

“Sirius, these things cost a fortune!”
“Well, you seemed to want them so desperately, I had to make sure you got them.”
 “At least let me pay for it!” she whined.
“Absolutely not”, he said resolutely. “This is a date and as the guy, I am supposed to pay for everything.”

3,315 19
24 Regulus seething

Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and responded to his kiss fiercely. His arms around her waist pulled her closer to him and their kiss became a mixture of sweetness and passion.
When they finally broke apart, it took them both several moments to get back to their senses. Then, with a bright smile at her boyfriend, she entered the classroom, not noticing Regulus staring angrily at her.

2,120 14
25 The Quidditch final

And then she saw the snitch. There, a few feet above the grass below, was a tiny, golden glimmer.
She whirled around to urge her broom into the other direction, praying Montague would let himself be distracted once more.
But as soon as she saw the Slytherin seeker, she knew it was too late.

2,022 18
26 Threats

He had grown much more violent since the beginning of the year, when she had easily been able to push him to the ground. Now there seemed to be nothing left in him that might stop him from violence, and in the furious glimmer in his eyes there was pure malice and unrestrained anger. He was strong and something had turned him completely evil.

2,414 17
27 Thunderstorm

His voice sounded strained. “The truth is – my feelings for you have changed.”
The breath caught in Rachel’s throat and she gasped for air, standing dumbstruck. He was silent, as if not knowing how to go on.
“Sirius!”
He didn’t respond.
“Sirius, look at me!”

2,438 29
28 Brave face

Sirius had left the castle the night of the thunderstorm.
Rachel was worried sick, and when, late at night, she didn’t dwell on memories for once, she wondered where he was, or what he was doing right now, whether he was alright, and whether he was thinking of her. And then she used to press her face into her pillow, pretend it was Sirius’ shirt, and let the tears flow, fear and sadness clawing at her.

2,093 10
29 The dream

Rachel woke from the sound of her own, terrified screaming. Her eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, gasping for breath. Her face was tear-stained and her heart was beating rapidly.
Looking around frantically, she realized she was in her dorm, the scary corridor with the cells had vanished.
She tried to calm her breathing and the beating of her heart, wiping away drops of perspiration on her forehead and the tears on her cheeks.
Just a nightmare, she mumbled to herself. Just a nightmare.

2,038 19
30 Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

She couldn’t see anything; her vision was blocked by a mass of dirty wolf hair. The growling of the werewolf resounded in her ears. The werewolf’s claws dug into her arm painfully and she could feel blood tickle down her arm. The foul smell almost made it impossible for her to breathe.
The werewolf bared it’s teeth and howled, as it went to bite her.

2,576 15
31 Weakness

"... But how will I be able to concentrate fully when I have to worry about Rachel at the same time? When I know she’s out there, maybe getting hurt? I can’t let myself stay this close to her. I just know that staying involved with Rachel will be a problem then, it will weaken me!”
“But you can’t just stop having feelings for someone!”
“No, but I can try.”

2,357 15
32 All we need is love

“You know I’ll do it, Sirius,” Regulus growled. “You know I will. It is your choice – you can leave quietly now and she’ll live, granted, she’ll be injured, but she’ll live, or you can come just one step closer, and she’ll be dead. "

2,322 13
33 Epilogue - Christmas

It was snowing.
White flakes fell from the sky and covered trees, houses and streets in a beautiful white, making Godric’s Hollow appear like a village on a Christmas card. The sky was clear and the half moon shone brightly down on them.

2,122 36

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