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Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Pansy, OC
Primary Relationship
Secondary Relationship(s)
Humor, Romance, AU
Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme
Story Reviews
Work In Progress (WIP)
First Published
2007-01-13 3:48pm
Last Chapter
2009-09-03 12:44pm
Last Updated
2009-09-03 12:44pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 The one where it all begins (Welcome To My Life)

Meet Stacey Lockhart. She's the most popular girl in school (in her imagination) and she might get onto the Slytherin Quidditch team (if someone pounds some sense into the captain with a Beater's Club). Also she loves two people and only one of them actually know her name.

2,734 21
2 The one where she is a model for the day

There that’s better. I’ll be flooing back to Hogwarts any minute now, and I think Theo will slag me so badly when I get back, because he is the only one I told and he laughed at me. I feel so supported.

2,762 15
3 The one with Goyle's projectile vomit and indecent trousers

Now I have found the worst teacher in the universe. Yes – and I am completely sober – Professor Umbridge is far worse than Professor Snape.

1,824 12
4 The one with detention and overheard conversations

“Ah Ms Lockhart,” she sneered at me, “Here for your detention for your blatant disregard for the rules?”

I didn’t even bother to answer her. What the hell did she think I was here for?

2,852 14
5 The one with the D.A and inappropriate language to teachers

Pansy Parkinson barged into the dormitory at half twelve, crying, and woke me up. How inconsiderate of her.

2,415 17
6 The one with Malfoy's complication

“Ok, now begin,” she ordered, in the sort of tone usually reserved to Nazi SS officers.

2,842 11
7 The one with the visit to the Witch Weekly Studios

“Hey there Stacey,” smiled my great-uncle Gilderoy.

This is not a nice sight to wake up to. Especially before he’s put his make-up on.

2,484 10
8 The one with apologies and a patronus

“Liar,” accused Fred, but he sounded less sure of himself, “There’s never been a muggleborn in Slytherin – ever.”

2,815 11
9 The one with Realisations

“No, look closer, my uncle – fatheaded as he may be – doesn’t give me detentions.”

2,344 16
10 The One with Interviews and New Styles

“I’ll give you only 3 hours,” I muttered under my breath, thinking up new and exciting ways of torture.

2,584 9
11 The one with Studying with George Weasley

“I don’t mind what people might think,” I smiled, touched by his attempts, “And I really like you too.”

3,100 10
12 The One Where Montague Gets Serious

"What am I going to do?" I demanded, "What the hell am I going to do?"

2,178 1
13 The one with a stabber, an arsonist and the Anti-Christ.

Jack appeared at the door, looking a little shaken, “They’ve arrived.”

“Dad and Craig?” I asked, wondering why he looked so traumatised.

“No,” he shook his head, “Aunt Gladys and Uncle Bartholomew.”

I leapt to my feet from my bed, “What? No-one said
they were coming.”

4,859 3


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