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Happy Birthday, Losers
Harry's first year of Hogwarts brings excitement, drama, horror, and stupidity, hence the title of the fic. Can he survive Voldemort? More importantly, can he realize the subtlely of the situation before it's too late? ...Well, for the latter, no, but the former? Read and find out...
Advice of a Candy Bar
The Dursleys and Harry go to the zoo.
Dudley's toilet gets "invited" to Hogwarts.
Faulty Cannons from Chudley
Hagrid breaks entry upon the Dursley's "home".
Those Darn Hoodlums!
Harry and Hagrid go to Diabetes Alley.
The Irony of Subtlety
Harry boards a certain train at a certain place, headed for a certain other place at a certain time...
The Drunken Hat
The first-years are sorted.
Harry's 1st day at Hogwarts.
Attack of the Tap-Dancing Terrorists
Malfoy challenges Harry and Ron to a duel.
The Pre-Planned Plot Point (Say That Five Times Fast)
The OTHER Snitch
Quidditch for our hero...
The Mirror of Whatsit
Harry discovers a magical mirror.
The Importance of Eating Candy
Harry discovers Nicholas Flamel.
Poor Wittle Teddy Bear!
Norbert the Dragon is released.
Silence is Golden
Traipse Through the Trapdoor
Past the horrors of Gruffy...
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