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Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Happy Birthday, Losers

Harry's first year of Hogwarts brings excitement, drama, horror, and stupidity, hence the title of the fic. Can he survive Voldemort? More importantly, can he realize the subtlely of the situation before it's too late? ...Well, for the latter, no, but the former? Read and find out...

1,164 17
2 Advice of a Candy Bar

The Dursleys and Harry go to the zoo.

1,328 6
3 Hairy Potty

Dudley's toilet gets "invited" to Hogwarts.

1,253 8
4 Faulty Cannons from Chudley

Hagrid breaks entry upon the Dursley's "home".

1,007 6
5 Those Darn Hoodlums!

Harry and Hagrid go to Diabetes Alley.

1,215 3
6 The Irony of Subtlety

Harry boards a certain train at a certain place, headed for a certain other place at a certain time...

1,107 5
7 The Drunken Hat

The first-years are sorted.

1,229 4
8 Utter Delirium

Harry's 1st day at Hogwarts.

1,064 4
9 Attack of the Tap-Dancing Terrorists

Malfoy challenges Harry and Ron to a duel.

1,088 4
10 The Pre-Planned Plot Point (Say That Five Times Fast)


1,329 3
11 The OTHER Snitch

Quidditch for our hero...

1,304 2
12 The Mirror of Whatsit

Harry discovers a magical mirror.

1,102 5
13 The Importance of Eating Candy

Harry discovers Nicholas Flamel.

1,090 2
14 Poor Wittle Teddy Bear!

Norbert the Dragon is released.

1,138 4
15 Silence is Golden

Forbidden Forest...

1,131 3
16 Traipse Through the Trapdoor

Past the horrors of Gruffy...

1,113 4
17 Nothing, Harry...

The End!!!

1,221 10


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