Immortal Love Immortal Love Disclaimer:- Stating again – the world of Harry Potter belongs to the wonderful J.K.Rowling. Not me . . . Summary:// Suffering from the pain of loss, Lily hides herself from everyone she knows – determined never to show her feelings again. James, through a mischance finding out her problem, is equally determined to make her feel again . . . l/j, r+r please! Authors Note:// Reviews! Aw . . . so happy! I’m sorry I made some people upset . . . it wasn’t actually meant to be that sad . . . thanks a bunch for reviewing! I’m really, really sorry for the long wait, I have a ton of work to get through . . . and I’ve been ill . . . but excuses aside, here’s part 2, please read and review!!! -elegy Immortal Love Part II: Can’t you see the stars? James couldn’t quite remember just how long it took for him to get to sleep that night. He spent the whole time tossing, turning, and thinking about what he had heard. To hold all that inside, to not tell anyone was brave – but she was hurting inside. So much. Awaking the next morning, his mind picked up his trail of thought from where it had been left the previous night. How would it feel to lose both your parents? He thought about his family. An only child – the only person he could ever remember dying was his uncle; killed by death eaters when he was ten. But it wasn’t as if he knew him well . . . he had seen him once a year at most. But the people who you lived in the same house as you, who you had loved and known for your whole life . . . Just what would that be like? Groaning, he reached across to the bedside table and put on his glasses, before checking his watch. Just after six. Well, at least he could use the bathroom with the knowledge that Sirius wouldn’t try to hammer the door down wanting to shower. After showering and changing, he pulled his timetable out from under his trunk. Double Potions first. Of all the starts to a year . . . this had to be the worst . . . He glanced at his watch again. Almost seven. Some people might just be entering the common room now, if he was lucky. He could go and sit in one of the chairs in the common room . . . but something needed to be done first. Seeing Sirius’ wand, he pocketed it, then grabbed his shoes. Charming them to the best of his ability to be as immobile as possible once on, he put them back down where they were. Perhaps it was rather beneath him . . . but it was the first thing he could think of. And Sirius always got up late: there wouldn’t be anyone there to help him. Packing the items needed for the morning into his bag, James walked downstairs. *~* Lily sat alone in the common room, quietly reading her Transfiguration book. Stifling a yawn, she struggled to stay awake. Sleeping brought the aching pain of loss – she thought that being at school with all her friends would have made the pain go. But she was wrong. It remained. And she hadn’t even said ‘hello’ to anyone, let alone talk things over with anyone. Would she ever be able to get rid of the sadness, which spent its time consuming her? It didn’t feel like it . . . She was awoken from her thoughts by footsteps on the stairs. Hiding her face in the book, she pretended to read, not ready to speak to anyone. James staggered down the stairs, still half asleep. Glancing around the common room, he spotted Lily sitting with her back to him, facing the fire. He approached her slowly. "Hi Lily," James said, in an attempt to sound cheerful. But even to himself it sounded forced. He waited to see her reaction. Lily carried on reading. Go away, James. Please, just go. I’m not in the mood, she begged, pleading sub-consciously. "Lily?" James tried again. Lily sighed. Sooner or later she’d have to start talking. "What is it?" she said quietly, voice held steady. "Er . . ." James racked his brain to think of a question, but failed. "Nothing." Lily looked at him suspiciously. He’s acting strangely. But she didn’t ask why he was acting strangely. Just kept reading. James watched her read, still trying to think of something to say, something to bring her out of the shell she had locked herself in since the summer. But he still couldn’t think of anything. Fighting whether to tell anyone what he had found out, he walked out of the common room to clear his thoughts. Surely if she told her friends, they would help her? It wasn’t unknown for pupils to lose parents whilst staying at the school. But it was usually out in the open, not locked inside. Without realising, he had wondered to the same spot he had seen Lily last night. Walking around the edge of the lake, he noticed, against all the odds, burnt pieces of parchment wafting slowly across the edge of the water. Reaching down, he picked one up, and looked at it. Unable to tell what it may have said, he let it fly out of his hands – feeling slightly as though he may have attempted to invade Lily’s privacy. After staring into the distance for a while, he turned and headed back into the castle. *~* The common room was busier when James returned, with people comparing timetables, and the younger years determined to find out which teachers were the worst, and in which lessons they could fool about. Lily watched James stroll over to where Remus and Peter were sitting. She wondered for a moment about where he might have gone, but not for long. She didn’t need to know. Half an hour before lessons were due to start, a loud ‘thump’ and a yell were heard from upstairs. The room was silent as Sirius came storming downstairs holding his shoes in one hand. "Who was it?" he stormed, glancing at James, who had an expression of total innocence on which would have fooled anyone except Sirius. "Undo it, James," Sirius threatened. "I also know you took my wand." James sighed, muttering the counter-charm. "Well, at least we had our fun with that mediocre bang you made." "I’ll show you a bang," Sirius said grinning evilly, grabbing the wand James threw to him. With a flick of the wrist, the chairs James, Remus and Peter were sitting on disappeared leaving them in slight pain and shock on the floor. "That’s better," Sirius said smiling, and pocketed his wand. Lily rolled her eyes. They were really getting too old to be doing things like that. Unfortunately for her, Sirius noticed the slight eye roll. "Something wrong Lily?" he asked innocently. "We’re allowed our fun aren’t we?" James got up from where he was lying, and glanced over at Lily, who put her book down and looked at them. "Aren’t those tricks beneath you now?" she asked tiredly. "Hmm . . ." Sirius said in mock thought. " . . . . Nope." James grabbed Sirius’ arm. "Leave it," he hissed, and checking his watch, sighed. "Well, just about time for lessons. You coming?" he asked Remus, who nodded, and the two of them set out for Potions. "So, so glad I didn’t take that," Sirius declared. "Come on, Wormtail, better go and finish that Transfiguration we were supposed to do over the holidays. Don’t know why they set us work, they know we have better things to do . . ." Still rambling, Sirius left the room, closely followed by Peter, as the students began to move to their lessons. Lily watched them go, partly wondering why James had stopped Sirius’ argument instead of joining in, and partly wondering why she had chosen to take Potions. Grabbing her books and sighing, she followed the last of the students out of the room. *~* "Since you are now nearing the end of your studies, I expect a great deal of concentration and effort to go into . . ." Lily’s concentration went. Listening to Professor Calder drone on for almost half an hour about how important these exams were, and how he hoped that they would work hard was not something that she could listen to easily. Looking around the room in a quick glance, she could see that James had given up, and seemed to be staring at the wall. Remus’ concentration was also below standard, she could see him occasionally doodle on his piece of parchment before checking to see if the professor was still talking. She checked her watch again. Almost 35 minutes had now passed. She could feel herself drifting further and further into sleep; her eyes wouldn’t stay open. *~* "Lily? Lily? Can you hear me?" A voice she knew well was calling her. She could hear it. From somewhere far away. But she wanted to sleep. "Lily! You’re going to be late!" Slowly Lily opened her eyes. She could see a white ceiling, and sunlight was streaming out from behind lilac curtains. She got out of her bed, and looked around. This was her own room. She walked over to the calendar, and checked the date. August 22nd. Why was that date circled? Nikki’s Birthday. Awake, Lily dressed quickly, and walked downstairs to grab something to eat. Her father was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, and didn’t look up as she walked in. Making herself some toast, she went to the lounge, where her mother was on the phone. Sighing, her mother hung up, and walked out of the room. Lily turned on the t.v. After eating, she went back up to her room to check what time they were supposed to meet. Eleven. Lily looked at her watch. That gave her about half an hour to walk to Nikki’s. Yelling goodbye to her parents, she walked out of the house, and slowly began the short walk. But that was wrong. The road she was walking on shook, and Lily stumbled. She didn’t leave for Nikki’s house. The road disappeared from beneath her feet, and she fell. Closing her eyes, she felt her feet touch something solid, and again she looked to see where she was. A woman was talking to her, and she was standing on a brown carpet. We’re so sorry. Lily turned and saw her sister, and what she assumed was her sister’s boyfriend standing in the corner. Her sister turned around and glared, then started screaming at her. This is all your fault. All your fault. So sorry. Your Fault. Lily. "Lily?" "Lily!" *~* James tried to shake her awake, but Lily wasn’t having any of it. Tossing and turning, she occasionally mumbled random things that James couldn’t make out. The professor hovered about her, also seemingly worried. "No," she mumbled. "What?" Remus asked. "Lily?" "Not my fault," she whispered clearly, before awaking with a start. "Lily? Are you okay?" James asked quietly, with some concern. Lily looked at him, her focus rather blurred. She tried to shake her head, then collapsed. James just had time to grab her arm, slightly slowing her fall. "Go and tell Madame Pomfrey," Professor Calder said simply. James and Remus looked once back at Lily, before running down to the hospital wing. *~* ". . . an accident . . . didn’t mean . . . tried . . ." " . . . return . . . office . . . see me . . ." " . . . tell her . . ." Lily tried to listen some more, but the voices had stopped. She opened her eyes, and blinked once or twice at the bright lights in the room. Looking around she could see that she was lying in a bed in the hospital wing. To her right, James was watching her. "You’re awake," he said simply. "You okay?" Lily looked at him for a while, before nodding. "Why are you here?" "’Cause I was told to stay here to see when you woke up," he replied smiling. "Remus has gone to find Madame Pomfrey." Lily tried to think, but couldn’t. "What did I . . .?" she trailed off. "You’re not supposed to be talking," James said, remembering. "I’ll talk." Lily smiled, despite herself. "Don’t you remember what happened?" James asked, frowning a little. Lily shook her head. "Okay. Well, you seem to have fallen asleep, along with most of the class, but you seemed to be seeing, or dreaming about something horrible. You kept muttering things, and turning from side to side. Then when you woke up, you fainted. Nothing serious, though. Ah, but you do have to see Dumbledore when you come out." Lily was silent for a while, fiddling absentmindedly with her bedclothes. "Did something bad happen, you know, in your dream or whatever? Something that hurt you?" James ventured lamely, attempting to see whether his suspicion was correct. Looking up from her bedclothes, Lily turned her attention to the window. At that moment, Madame Pomfrey came across with Remus and shooed them both away. Lily watched them go, smiling slightly inside. *~* She entered the common room, and looked around briefly to see where they were. Sure enough, they were all in their usual seats by the fire, talking lightly about something. Lily bit her lip in slight nervousness, and walked over to where they were talking. James looked up. "You’re back!" he said, with what seemed like genuine happiness. She tried to ignore the glares Tanya and Nikki were giving her. She assumed that they were still sore over the birthday event. "Did you see Dumbledore?" "Yes. I just wanted to say thank you," she said quietly. "Hmm?" James asked, confusion on his face. "For staying and making sure I was fine," she finished awkwardly. He grinned. "Don’t mention it. Do you have any idea how many ‘You have your N.E.W.T.’s this year’ speeches we missed out on? We should be thanking you!" Lily nodded, and turned to head upstairs. James caught her arm. "Hey. Don’t worry. It’ll all be much better some day," he said, seriously. Lily frowned. "Can’t you see the stars?" he said, with an exaggerated gesture upwards. "Come on, Lily. Don’t be all sullen and quiet. You can join us if you want." Lily looked at the faces around the table. Sirius and Remus looked slightly concerned for her. Peter’s face was impassive. Bella and Sophie were looking worried. But Tanya and Katie were glaring at her, she could see them begging her to drop down dead. Slowly she shook her head, and started up the stairs. Maybe one day it would be much better. One day the stars might shine brightly for her. One day in the future. She looked back on the group laughing at one of Sirius’ jokes. Turning her head away, she walked up to the dorm, and shut the door behind her. Walking across to the window, she gazed for a while at the stars, twinkling against the darkness of the night. One day when she wasn’t by herself. She was lying in bed when the rest of her dorm came up. They were asleep long before her, leaving her alone with her thoughts . . . as she had been so often. Slowly a single tear rolled down her cheek. I don’t want to be alone. I just want things to be as they were. I want to go back to yesterday. Above her, the stars shone as they had so many times before. *~* Authors Note:// I will now utter a curse on all teachers at my school *mutters under breath for a few minutes*. There. That was for the s***-load of work they have dumped on us during the holidays. And there’s a week left, and I’m still not halfway through. But I think that’s enough rambling . . . no one wants to hear about that . . . I should ‘hopefully’ have the next chapter up of this soon, as well as another trial story that I’m just finishing. So much to do . . . so little time . . . Anyway, thank you to all that reviewed! I’ll give the complete list of thank-yous next chapter, ‘cause I really want to get this up by Saturday. - elegy *~* -
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