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Ok, I really have to appologize, my stupid computer is so screwed up. But I'm going on a ski trip tommorow so I figured I would leave you with this. I'm so sorry it took so long. Please enjoy!


Old Scars and New Scars



Harry sat at the top of the stairs looking down into the room below, glad in these moments for some time to himself. He raised his arms and stretched, yawning widely. He couldn't help think of this as the calm before the storm, yet he could only hope the storm would never come. It startled him how much the quiet around him magnified every detail seen in front of him. He saw Lupin struggle to breathe, but caught the distinct smile that flickered onto to his face every time Sirius spoke to him from the chair he had pulled up to the couch. Harry noticed the preoccupied look on Sirius' newly restored handsome face, and was certain that his words were the cause of it. After what seemed like ages of sitting quietly, Harry knew by heart every subtle crease in Sirius' distraught face, and every faded scar on Lupin's pale one.

The weather outside was a mirror image of what Harry was feeling inside. Storm clouds loomed over the area bringing the threat of a downpour. Harry replayed the events of the previous days making deathly sure that he hadn't missed anything, after a while his head was pounding. He was snapped out of his trance by a loud burst of laughter from somewhere behind him. He got up slowly and quietly and crept towards the source of the commotion, only to find that it was Lupin's room. Hermione seemed to have heard it as well and she was soon beside him. They creaked the door open to see Sirius kneeling beside a bed that held a sleeping Lupin.

Sirius quickly turned to see them peering in and motioned for them to come in. They looked at each other for a moment before entering. Harry crept in to see Lupin sprawled out in bed with Sirius kneeling at his bed.
"You have to hear this!" Sirius said excitedly.

Harry said nothing, he watched the seen play out and hurried out as Lupin awoke and was ridiculed by a delirious Sirius. Even though Harry had witnessed all of it before Harry had to laugh. Seeing this happen with a glimmer of hope that it might all be alright made Harry breathe a sigh of relief. After the humiliated Lupin had left the room Harry was caught by surprise (and embarrassment) when Sirius started to take his shirt off. Harry started to turn around to save his dignity but abandoned it when Hermione let out a gasp.

Harry turned to see a topless Sirius, but that wasn't what had made Hermione gasp. Long deep horrific scars ran jaggedly down his chest. Harry read those scars faster than Hermione could read a book. Crippling images of a great dark lupine figure shot through Harry's mind. He remembered when Sirius had stood against Lupin in the underworld, saving Harry's life, and nearly killing Lupin in the process. Neither of them held any grudges over it, Harry even thought their friendship had grown from it. Each knew what it was like to lose the other, and had grown to appreciate each other that much more.

Harry traced the wicked scars down Sirius' back with his eyes, feeling the pain of remembrance. He had nearly forgotten how much Sirius had suffered from their dispute. When Sirius found a deep blue shirt and put it on, Harry and Hermione went back into their room.

"Where did those come from?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Lupin" Harry said sadly. Registering the look of shock on Hermione's face, Harry knew his answer wasn't enough to satisfy Hermione's need for the truth, so he continued. "Lupin transformed when we were down there, beyond the veil, and he chased us. So Sirius transformed to save me." Harry lowered his gaze.

Hermione thought for a moment before speaking, "Is it me or does Sirius not seem quite as happy as he did in the future?" she said.

"You're right, it's all my fault. He thinks he's a murderer, all because of me." Harry said shamefully.

"Maybe you should talk to him" Hermione suggested.

Harry thought about this for a moment. "What should I tell him?" he asked. "Should I tell him I lied?"

"No" Hermione said firmly. "Just try and cheer him up, he looks lonely, even with Lupin around."

A little while later Harry found himself walking down the steep flowing staircase that led to the dimly lit main room. The air in the room was heavy with dust, making the room seem ancient, as it most likely was.

Sirius sat upon the blood red sofa, and incredibly, he was alone, which seemed strange for someone who thrived on the company of others. Harry noticed a news paper sitting on the heavily polished wooden table in front of him. Sirius looked up and Harry instantly noticed the sadness engraved into his gaunt expression. Sirius flicked his head back to motion for Harry to sit, he obeyed silently.

The couch let out a groan as Harry's wait was added to it's load. Sirius just continued to stare out in front of him.

"Is everything alright Harry?" Sirius asked tiredly.

"No" Harry replied," something’s not right with you."

"I'm fine Harry"

"You're starting to sound just like Lupin you know..."

"Well, I suppose it's only fair that I should have to feel pain on his level for once, instead of just brushing it all aside and trying to forget." Sirius said sadly.

"What do you mean... pain on his level?" Harry asked.

Sirius thought for a moment before answering. "Remus is a very fragile person Harry... A very fragile person with a very bad reputation for blaming himself for everything that happens."

Harry knew Sirius was right. "Why are you so sad?"

"I can't believe that I was the reason he died... I can't believe I murdered my best friend. I can't believe I put him through all of this pain... after it was me who practically made him come live here."

Harry thought about this, "Wait a minute? He didn't want to live here with you?"

A comical look came onto Sirius' face, "Of course he wanted to, but he's stubborn to accept charity without a fight. But there was no way I would let him be alone anymore."

After a few seconds of silence Harry spotted Sirius' bare wrist, and was horrified by how mutilated it looked. Sirius saw him looking.

"Sirius..."

"Harry, I didn't do that."

"How?"

"In Azkaban, they would chain me up for days at a time if I got too active."

"It looks like it hurts."

"I have scars much worse than that Harry." Harry started to point at Sirius' chest.

"No Harry... they're up here" Sirius pointed at his head. "The constant hopelessness, the loneliness, they get to you, they change you. I don't think I'll ever be the same."

Harry noticed as Sirius' glance shifted to the news paper sitting on the table several times, as if checking to make sure it didn't crawl away. Thought Harry was starting to believe that anything was possible in this house.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked. Sirius laid his face in his shaking hands. He saw silent sobs wrack over his body. Harry felt a tight knot form in his throat, something was wrong. Harry had always thought of Sirius as indestructible, and to see him like this bothered Harry more than he thought it ever could. "What is it?" he asked, a little more urgently this time.

"I have to leave" Sirius said quietly, though his voice was heavy with tears.

"What? Why?" Harry was starting to become worried. "If it was because of what I told you then please you can't I was only-"

"Harry... stop." Sirius said, putting a tear stained hand on his shoulder. After a second Sirius pointed towards the news paper sitting on the table in front of them.

Harry picked it up and upon sweeping his eyes over the first page, he nearly dropped it.

"NO" Harry yelled, "You can't!"

"It's already done Harry"

Harry was shaking with frustration. His head felt like it would collapse, his heart was pounding.

"Goodbye Harry."

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