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Chapter Thirty-seven, Jealous

Image hosted by TinyPic.com Dance is communication, and so the great challenge is to speak clearly, beautifully, and with inevitability. - Martha Graham
“Look.. here they come…” James whispered as he sat down next to me in the couch. The common room looked so immensely big now that our mattresses were back in our beds.

“Lily! There you are, love!”

Hillary came into view, running over to us. She grabbed me into a tight hug, almost suffocating me.

“I’ve missed you so much… I had a brilliant Christmas, though! And I loved you present!” she squeaked. “I just have to go get Anna, she’s outside in the corridors somewhere.”

She emerged as quick as she came, leaving James and me sniggering.

“What do you think they’ll say when they find out?” James said.

He entwined his fingers in mine, whispering in my ear.

“I really just want to start snogging you right now, but that would be kind of inappropriate, because there are so many people around…”

I giggled, placing a soft kiss on him. “I know… we’ll have to wait a little bit longer.”

“Just a little bit? I don’t think I can control myself much longer,” he moaned.

“Oh… Ok, just for a short while!” I said amusedly, grabbing his lips with my own. I felt his soft tongue caressing my lower lip, trembling to enter. The thing was, that whenever I was with James, I forgot everything else. Including a crowded common room.

As this thought came into mind, I broke apart, drying some lip gloss away from his lips with my thumb.

“Oh… My… God!” Anna screamed, standing over by the portrait hole, staring at us. “You’re kissing? Going out? Boyfriend-Girlfriend?”

James looked pensive.

“Well, officially I haven’t asked you yet,” he said thoughtfully, looking over at me. “Would you go out with me, Lily?”

I grinned at him, remembering the last time he’d asked me that. It was starting to get a while. And for the first time, I was glad he asked me.

“Yes, I will.”

I gave him another juicy kiss, making Anna blush with embarrassment.

“Hullo, by the way!” she said, walking over to us, hugging me. “Had a nice Christmas?”

James and I exchanged looks.

“Don’t even answer that question,” she rolled her eyes, bringing Hillary with her to their dormitory.

James just looked at me for a minute.

“What is it?” I finally said.

“You said yes… You’re my girlfriend… and practically all my dreams became true as you said that.”

He squeezed my hand reassuringly, kissing my cheek.

“When are you starting ballet-lessons again, exactly?”

“In a few days. I’ve really missed it…” I said brightly.


--


I was so anxious to see Lily after the holidays I was almost feeling my feet shake with curiosity. I looked at my wrist-watch, noticing it was time for lunch. I went through the secret door of the Hufflepuff common room, accompanied by my little brother.

“Do you have to join me for lunch?” I said irritably.

“Why can’t I? You survived several other meals at home with me last week…” Mark answered.

“Fine. But don’t cling onto me.”

As I entered the Great Hall, I scanned it for Lily’s red head. She was nowhere to be seen. I shrugged, still on my guard as I sat down by the long table, trying to decide what to eat.

“Looking for the Evans girl?” Mark asked next to me.

I sent him a venomous look, grabbing the platter with roasted potatoes.

“As a matter of fact, I was,” I said hardly.

“Well… I think she’s over there,” Mark said carefully, looking at me doubtfully.

I snapped my head up, looking in the direction Mark had pointed out to me. All the blood in my veins froze, and my breath was suddenly leaving me as I saw her happy face, and her hand linked with Potter’s.

“Isn’t that one of the chasers on the Gryffindor team? Potter, right?” Mark said thoughtfully.

I didn’t answer, I just tightened the grip on my fork. They both sent each other looks full of attraction and affection, sitting down in their crowd at the table next to ours. I didn’t take my eyes off them, as Lily let go of him to help herself with food.

‘What the hell?’ I screamed to myself.

I saw several girls start to chat interestedly with Lily, and her face never stopped beaming. Then she rested her head on the shoulder of Potter, and placed a hand around his waist.

I felt more and more dead.

“They must be going out,” Mark said indifferently, picking up a carrot, chewing it.

Potter turned Lily’s head towards him, placing a number of kisses on her lips. Lily returned them, closing her eyes in delight, giggling joyfully as she pulled away, returning to the food on her plate.

My fists clenched until they became white, but then Mark nudged me hardly in the side.

“Bryn, get a grip. She’s a girl, not a Goddess.”

If we hadn’t been in public in the Hall, I would have spat some poisonous words at him and given him a good punch.

As the lunch was ended, I saw Lily and Potter leave the hall together just as they had arrived. I swallowed hardly and walked over to Lily as we all were in the corridor.

“L-Lily?” I said, and I didn’t sound as firm as I’d liked to.

She turned her head around gracefully, looking at me with those magnificent eyes of hers.

“Yes? Oh, hello Bryn,” she said friendly.

I saw Potter noticing to whom his girlfriend was speaking to, and he looked judging. His eyes connected with mine for a second, and it didn’t reflect anything else than ‘stay away from her’.

“Why don’t you start going back?” Lily said to Potter, noticing the looks we had exchanged. “I just need to have a short chat with Bryn.”

He looked unbelievingly at her, but was obviously so weak for her he was about to agree.

“O-Ok… But be quick,” he said through clenched teeth, looking at me before trotting off.

“What do you want, Bryn?” Lily said, straightening her sky blue skirt.

“I was just wondering… When we would see each other in the library for Charms next,” I said.

“Oh,” Lily said, thinking. “I think the day after tomorrow fits, is that fine?”

I nodded at once. “Yes, that’s perfect.”

“So.. how did your charms test go?” she continued, eyeing me expectantly.

“Oh… pretty lousy. I managed to get an Acceptable,” I lied. “I still have a long way to go, if I want them to match my other marks.”

Lily looked amusedly at me.

“How curious, that you do so well in all other subjects, for Christ’s sake, even potions, but a simple subject as Charms is more difficult for you.”

I dug my toe down in the stone floor, blushing a little.

“Yeah… We all have our weaknesses, I guess,” I smiled.

‘And one of those weaknesses is you…’

“Well, I best be off. James is waiting for me,” she said, flashing a smile at me before leaving.

‘James is waiting for me… how sweet,’ I mocked in my head. ‘The perfect, handsome, kind, gentle, loveable, talented James.’

My face turned into a grimace by the thought. How was I supposed to handle this? The only strength I had now was the extra lessons in Charms. The only shot I had was making her feel insecure and doubtful again, but how? She had obviously put the fake kiss behind her, and read his signs anyway. So what now?

Just the thought of the two of them kissing made me sick. Lily wasn’t supposed to be with James Potter, she was supposed to be with me


--


“As you know, you will have your end of term test back today,” professor McGonagall said in her stern voice. “It was about spells which transform humans, their origins and different combinations as you might recall?”

He tapped the parchment-rolls, and they all flew out to their person.

I grabbed my test, rolling it open anxiously, peering down on my mark.

I let out a relieved sigh, turning to James.

“What did you get?” I smiled.

“See you got a mark you’re happy with? That smile is very obvious…” he grinned.

“A strong Exteed Expectations. And you?”

James placed a kiss on my nose, his eyes sparkling.

“Outstanding,” he whispered into my ear.

I opened my mouth in awe, giving him a congratulating kiss.

“Will I get a kiss like that every time I get Outstanding?” he teased.

“You can have three…” I said sweetly.

Professor McGonagall sat by her table, watching us in silence for a moment before coughing slightly.

“Mr Potter? Miss Evans? You might want to stop that and save it for after this lesson,” she said, but an amused little undertone revealed that she didn’t actually mind that much.

“Yes, professor,” I said politely, sitting back straight.

“Thank you.”

James took my hand under the table as McGonagall started going through a new spell to turn an animal into another animal. She explained how easy it was to end up having half and half of each animal, and that it was important that we managed to make them transform fully.

“What did Johnson say to you yesterday?” James suddenly whispered.

I frowned slightly at him.

“Why do you want to know?” I asked, almost irritably. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

James broke our eye contact, squeezing my hand a little.

“Well.. not really, but you’re my girlfriend now, so am I not allowed to be at least a little bit more possessive?” he excused himself.

I sent him a small smile.

“Come on, I’m helping him with charms, is that such a big deal?” I whispered.

I was almost touched by the way James wanted me all to himself. I didn’t manage to be strict with him any more.

“You’ve helped him with charms for a while now, yeah? When will he stop needing it?” James said in the same low voice.

“How am I supposed to know? When he gets his marks together.”

“What if he’s just pretending to be bad at charms, just so he has an excuse to spend time with you?” James continued.

I raised my eyebrows.

“Bryn is pretty decent, I don’t think he would have done that. On the contrary, I would assume he wants to get it over with, so nobody will know he isn’t great at everything.”

James looked doubtful.

“I’m still septic,” he concluded.

“Think of it this way…” I began. “Do I do… this when I’m with Bryn Johnson?”

I put my arm around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder.

“Probably not,” he said, his spirit rising slightly.

“What about this, then? Do I do this?” I continued in a whisper.

I started caressing his knee playfully under the desk, making him smile dreamily at me.

“No, I don’t reckon so.”

This, then?” I whispered, kissing his warm lips a little bit less innocently than I should have in a transfiguration-class.

“Definitely not,” James said as he looked into my eyes, our foreheads touching.

“I’m really starting to lose patience when it comes to you two,” professor McGonagall said from the front of the classroom, looking assigned.

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