“Moving on,” Remus said. “Let’s play a game called 90 Second Alphabet. This is for Harry, Draco, and Ron. We also have a special guest: Hermione Granger, everyone!” The crowd went wild as Hermione walked out and gave Harry and Ron hugs. Draco wasn’t too happy to see her, but she ignored him. “Okay, okay,” Remus said, causing the applause to die down. “Here’s how the game goes: The four of you will be acting out a scene with the catch of ever sentence having to begin with the next letter of the alphabet. I have a little stopwatch with me which means that you have to use up all the letters in 90 seconds. “The scene is: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco are double dating. Harry and Draco are homosexuals dating each other while Ron and Hermione are dating. It begins with Harry alone at his house and I’ll provide all the doorbell sounds. Now, what letter shall we start with, audience?” There were shouts of “A!” and “Z” but Remus heard “X” clearer than any of the others and agreed to use that. “Okay, Harry, on your mark, get set, GO!” Remus shouted and Harry went into his act: “X-Files rule!” Harry said in a deep voice as Remus provided the doorbell sound. Harry walked over to where Draco was standing, made believe to open the door, and immediately kissed Draco on the lips, causing uproarious laughter from the audience. “Yo, what’s up?” Harry said. “.... Zilch,” Draco said, a bit stunned. “Ah, I see,” Harry said. “By the way, your fly’s open.” “Come on!” Draco said, making believe to zip his pants. “Damn it!” “Eh, we all make mistakes,” Harry said. Then, before Draco could answer, Remus provided the doorbell for Ron and Hermione to enter. “Faye, Jimmy, what’s up?” Harry said, making up names for the two. “GO, CANNONS!” Ron shouted. Harry and Draco looked stunned, but Hermione helped them out. “He’s been doing that a lot, recently,” she said. “I don’t know why.” “Jerk!” Draco shouted at Ron. Everyone looked at him, but he shrugged and mumbled, “I couldn’t come up with anything.” “... ‘Kay,” Harry said. “Let’s go, shall we?” “Mmm-hmm,” Ron said. Then, they pretended to be driving in a car, while Ron shouted, “NOONE FOR MINISTER!” “Oh, shut up!” Hermione said. “Don’t tell me... oh, (beep),” Ron said, laughing at his mistake. “I mean.... Pie rocks!” “Quoting Ron, ‘PIE ROCKS!’” Harry said in a very deep voice. “ROCK MY SOCKS!” Ron said, then he started to make out with Hermione, who also followed the act. When she and Ron broke the kissing, Hermione muttered in his ear, “Meet me in my room when the show’s over.” Ron nodded as Draco continued the skit: “So, how long have you been going out?” “Two days,” Hermione said. “Uh, okay,” Harry said in shock. “Vroom, vroom, vroom,” Ron said, imitating a car. “What is your problem?” Draco asked. That’s when Remus buzzed the buzzer and said, “That was so bad – I mean good. A thousand points apiece. Good job, guys!” Everyone cheered for the trio as Hermione left the studio, Remus calling her name out so the audience can hear once more. Then he continued: “Now, we’re going to play one of the original host’s favorite games: Scenes From a Hat! This is for all four you. The game is simple: Before the show began, we asked our audience members to write down suggestions to put down in our hat. We took the best suggestions and put it in our little cowboy hat, right here. Whatever the scene says, you act it out. And our first scene: Things Voldemort would never say to a woman.” Snape went first, saying, “Hey, wanna’ go on a date?” Then, Harry went, “Bellatrix, you look so hot.” Ron was next, saying, “You’ve got the hottest breasts I’ve ever seen.” “That would be something you’d be likely to say, Ron,” Remus said, taking out another suggestion, which read, “What the outcome of Harry and Voldemort’s final battle would be.” Draco went first, “Okay, Harry, I’m tired of fighting. Want to be friends?” Then, Ron went, pulling Harry and Snape in with him, and instructed, “Just make believe your fighting.” Harry and Snape did so when Ron came in using his gun as his hand. “This fight is over,” he said in a cool voice. “Who are you?” Harry asked. “My name is Bond, James Bond,” he said, then he imitated a gun sound and made believe to shoot Harry and Snape to death. “Now, that would be a great ending to the whole thing,” Remus said, in hysterics. “True,” Harry said, as he kept on standing where he was as Snape and Ron went back to their own spots. Then, making believe he was Voldemort, he said, “Oh, screw this! The hero wins, anyway! Avada Kedavra!” Making believe he was pointing a wand at himself and using the Killing Curse on himself, he dropped to the ground. Then, he got up and went back to his spot. “What Remus probably is thinking during the show,” Remus read off the card. Then, he said sarcastically, “Oh, this should be good.” Harry went first, and said in a mock think voice, “What the hell are they doing?” Then, Snape went, saying, “When will this nightmare end?” Then, Draco went, saying in mock think and in a wide grin, “Oh, God, she is really hitting the spot right now. More, baby, more!” “Now, you’re just sick,” Remus said, laughing. ‘How does he know?’ Remus asked. Then, he kicked the girl down under the desk, telling her to stop, and she sneaked back into a seat behind him. No one noticed this as Ron went next: “Crap, I’m so thirsty. How come they get drinks and I don’t?” Then, Harry came back again, “I am sooooooo bored.” Then, Ron came back once again, “When will they realize that I’m not a man?” Then, Draco came back, “The next person who insults me will die!” “Okay, one more,” Remus said, and reading off the card, he said, “What Vernon Dursley would say if he found out he was really a wizard.” Snape went first. He turned his hand in the shape of a gun, pointed it to his head, and imitated a gunshot, dropping to the ground. Next, Ron went, “.... (Beep).” Then, Harry went, pulling Draco and Ron with him and chanted, “Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah! I have magic powers, and yo-ou do-on’t! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” Remus buzzed the buzzer about six or seven times and said, “Very good, except for Snape and Draco. A thousand points to Harry and Ron each. We’ll be right back!”
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