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Wooo! Summer is going great! The only bad thing about it is that I live in a muggle neighborhood, so Sirius and I have been arrested three times already. [One of the times we didn’t even deserve it – I had never seen that llama before in my life!] Then the other times were for shoplifting [I did pay for that chocolate I say! Why doesn’t anyone believe me???] and driving over the speed limit. [Pff, 80 mph is nothing. Stupid over-reacting muggle police went on and on about it being a “school-zone” and that we were “a danger to society”. They also referred to us as “crazy psychotic teenagers who were high”. They even tested Sirius’ and my breath for traces of alcohol! Jeez, we’re not stupid! Don’t respond to that.] Yes, I can drive. Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT uneducated when it comes to things in the muggle world. The only reason I thought that lamp was trying to burn me alive was because I have some rather… life-scarring… memories with lamps. Again, don’t ask. So, ignoring the arresting fiascos, we’ve had a pretty good summer. Sure, my mum thinks we’re insane, but she’s always thought that, so it doesn’t really matter. Oh, and we learned a new spell! It’s hilarious – makes someone/something fart every half hour! We used it on my dog [It’s not animal abuse. It’s love.] and it’s so funny! Or, WAS funny. See, the problem is, we haven’t quite figured out the counter spell, so he’s kind of been farting for about… a week? … now. Artemis [or as we have newly dubbed him Fartemis] is kind of mad at us, and whenever Sirius goes into dog form he keeps nagging him and being really annoying. Actually, I’m pretty sure Sirius knows the counter spell by now – he just won’t use it because Far-Artemis keeps annoying him. AND, we are living the junk food high life! Let’s see…. Five…. Seven, no eight…. And the ones by the toilet… plus the ones mum threw out… eleven from that one night… and that one time – it was like, twenty… Okay, between the two of us, Sirius and I have drunk a grand total of 79 bottles of butterbeer. [This week] I don’t even want to THINK about how much candy we’ve devoured in the last DAY, let alone over the whole summer. I wonder what life will be like when our metabolisms slow down [I think they’ve past the speed of sound by now… eh.] and we won’t be able to play Quiddich as much. Well, if our eating habits stay the same, then, according to Moony’s calculations, we’ll both die of heart attacks at the age of 18. [Actually, I’ll die approximately 3 minutes after Sirius, since he always finishes his dinner first and gets to eat more dessert.] Speaking of Moony, we haven’t seen much of him. Oh, how our young souls are suffering without the guidance of our missing comrade! We’ve gone two whole weeks without anything save some letters from him! Woe is us! WOE IS US!!! Shut up Prongs – I’m right next to you. No one likes a drama queen Jimmy. Don’t call me Jimmy Sirius! And why do you two have to write in my journal? Can’t you just say it to me? I’m right here. But invading your privacy is more fun! MOVING ON, okay, I admit, Remus has been here the whole time with the exception of leaving on the night of full moons for his house, and when he does leave, we go with him. So really, he HAS been with us this whole time! But the wolf isn’t really him… oh, never mind. Gah, too much thinking – it’s hurting my brain. Summer holidays are bad influences on people’s minds. I say we get rid of them! All in favor? … … I’ll take that as a no then… Wow, he IS a smart one! I’m so proud! That’s it – get away from me! En garde! Back, back I say! Stay out of my journal! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ha! As if he could keep me out – how could I just leave James to himself? It’d be against all rules of annoyance! I’d be a failure to myself! And, seeing as the aforementioned annoy-ee has left to retrieve a letter from a familiar looking owl, this is the perfect time to intrude on his privacy! Okay, the thing with the llama: BELIEVE US! WE HAD NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE IN OUR LIVES! Uh oh, looks like James has passed out – time to go raid his candy stash! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh my god. I have a letter from Lily Evans. Yes, that’s right, The Lily Beautiful Wonderful Amazing Very Frightening Evans has sent ME a letter. It goes as follows: [I would just paste it in here, but I’m getting it preserved and framed.] Dear Po-Ja-Pott-Jam- [many scratch outs] James, How is your summer going? Anything interesting happen/happening? [No doubt – with you, it’s never a dull moment] I saw that your favorite Quiddich team – the Appleby Arrows – won their match against the Falmouth Falcons – Congratulations! Anyway, it’s nice to know you’re putting an effort into changing into a better person. Maybe next year I’ll get to know the real you better! -Lily Evans Yes, that is an EXACT replica. No, I am NOT dreaming. I already checked and reread the letter. [Twenty-seven times] It IS real. Wait….. yep, it’s real. Damn Sirius tried to burn it after the twelfth time I checked, but thankfully the gods favored me and I saved it. I think God’s starting to get guilty about being so mean to me before, so now he’s making my life great! All right, so maybe Remus hasn’t figured out a counter spell for the pink hair thing yet [How many times do I have to say it? Don’t. Ask.] but he WILL figure it out soon. Or Else. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is that a THREAT James? Seemed very threatening to me Remus. Maybe I just figured out the counter spell but won’t use it now since James is THREATENING his dear, wonderful, amazing friend Remus John Lupin. Nah, if you’d have figured it out you would have already used it. Your brain doesn’t have the capacity to blackmail or to be mean. Also, you’d have at least used the counter spell on me, so there! I think pink is actually a rather stunning color on you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh no, don’t tell me Remus is going to randomly steal my journal and write in it now too! I can barely stand Sirius! [He REALLY needs to shower, by the way] Plus, that arse stole all of my Fudge Flies! GIVE THEM BACK YOU EVIL FIEND! Well, I just went to the loo, so… ….You just love ruining my rants, don’t you? Yes, very much so. Anyway, yes, the letter was real. [Checked a grand total of 137 times now] The only thing is, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND??? I can’t just not respond, because that would be rude, but I can’t possibly be expected to write something SMART! Especially over summer holidays! My brain is DEAD. Six Feet Under. Flushed Down The Toilet. Run Over Repeatedly By Sirius’ Monstrosity He Calls A Motorcycle. However you want to say it, I’m DOOMED. To prove this fact, here are some of my rough-draft attempts to write a reply: Dear Lily, Of course my summer’s been interesting! I’ve already been arrested three times…. Dear Lily, My favorite Quidditch team is actually the Quiberon Quafflepunchers… Dear Lily, I’m not changing – you’re just finally taking the time to see me in a good light. All three of those are slightly rude and stupid sounding. Like I said, I’m DOOMED. That last one was actually pretty good. Just need to refine it a bit. Really? Hmm… okay, what if I said: It’s good to know you’re finally seeing me in a better light. [blabber about summer] Yes! By George, I think I’ve got it! Bow down to the genius formerly known as James E. Potter! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People wouldn’t think you were smart if they knew what the “E” stood for. [Evil cackle] Maybe I’ll leave them wondering… for a price! Dog Treats! Chicken flavored! On my bed on a silver platter tomorrow morning. Actually, make that every morning this week! Mua ha ha ha ha! See, Remus, you could never do that. You’d say, “[James’ middle name here] is a great name Prongs. Ignore him.” You know you would. Yes, you would say those exact words! Moony mooners, you’re too predictable. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You. Wouldn’t. Dare. Say my middle name and I’ll kill you. I’ll HAPPILY kill you. Damn you Sirius Vladimir Black! Damn Remus and his normal middle name! And we don’t have any dog treats! You can’t seriously [no pun intended] expect me to go to the store for you! That dog is insufferable! Just because my mother has a…unique… choice in names does not give him the right to make fun of me! Okay, it gives him all the reason to, but he shouldn’t! Grrr….. AND, I just sent my response to Lily! I’m expecting a howler any day now, or at least a Curse In Letter Form. I wonder if she’ll be mad that it took me a while to respond… AHHH! Maybe I shouldn’t have sent it! I sounded so stupid in it too! And dorky! [Remus made sure it was the most grammatically correct piece of literature ever written. EVER.] Maybe it was just a cruel joke! Maybe she only wrote it because of a game of Truth or Dare! I’m totally freaking out here! What if…. Or…. And then she might…. AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! This is HELL. Just as bad, if not worse, than when she had The Journal! Well, not THAT bad. Remus isn’t hygienically challenged this time. But still! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calm down Prongs! CALM DOWN! She’s REALLY getting to him. He’s attempted drowning himself in the sink five times now! The pink has even washed out from it! He’s going insane from that letter – guess I’ll just have to burn it! [maniacal laughter] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay. Calm… happy place… happy place…. Maybe she DID write it out of her own free will! Maybe she really IS looking forward to seeing me! Maybe I’m going insane like Sirius said! HAHAHAHAH! Yes, definitely signs of insanity. Hey! Sirius KNEW this would happen! I would look back, saying that I was moron then, and Sirius would be in the nutter house! Yes, definitely signs of insanity. You can tell, since I already said that, and being repetitive and redundant is a sign of insanity. Insanity! Insane! CALM DOWN! … Calm? Yes Prongs, CALM. Take a deep breath. In…. out… Now, sing a happy song. But I’m really bad at singing! Does it look like I care? Stop overreacting – your letter was fine. Are you sure? James, would I lie to you? Sirius would. Do I look like Sirius to you? Well, your nose kind of resembles his nose… and you both have ugly feet… … My feet are ugly? You’re right! That did help! I’m going to slowly back away from you now, then break into a run and I’m going to hide under my covers waiting for Lily’s response. Good? Good. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ... But seriously, are my feet ugly?? No. Our feet are beautiful. Jimmy’s just jealous and is freaking out. I’m pretty sure he’s weeping like a child. Oh, how confused he is. Indeed. … Maybe we SHOULD start actually talking to each other, instead of writing then swapping The Journal. WHAT!? You can’t be serious [no pun intended] man! BLASPHEMY! No, wait, Sirius! You do not deserve to write in here, you… you… ANIT-JOURNAL PERSON! I didn’t mean it! I’m not talking to you. Yes… that would be because we’re writing in here… … Shut up. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What the…? I’m FRIENDS with these people?!? Why, surely I could do better! And I did not weep like a child! [did too!] It’s been two days since I sent my reply… maybe she knew I would reply and now she’s holding my owl ransom! Or maybe she KNOWS I’m freaking out and is sadistically enjoying it! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. My owl’s back. At the window. With a letter. A letter from Lily. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A/N: I UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, a few things: 1. None of you noticed that when James was humming in the last chapter, he hummed the Mcdonald's theme! Buddah buh buh buh! I'M LOVIN' IT! Of course, it wasn't REALLY the mcdonald's theme, since it wasn't out then, but really! Don't you know your commercials? 2. Here are some questions by poprockzwitch14 that were really good: Q.Im only confused on how James was still angry at the tree and went out to go kick it A.Wouldn't you be angry if you fell from a thirty-foot tree EXTREMELY painfully? Q.Sirius was telling what had happened as it happened in the Journal, when Lily got the journal A.He wasn't telling it as it happened - he was telling it AFTER it happened while James was off killing the tree. Q.And also, don't you need a password to get into the journal? How did she do that, or did she just guess it? A.James took off the password after a while, since he knew it was futile to try and keep Sirius out. 3. I'm so so so so so so so so SOOOOOO sorry I took so long! I'm a lazy butt and it took much prodding for me to write this! I swear on my life I will never take this long ever again! 4. Lastly, I'm taking a poll. Okay, it goes like this: I'm considering writing a sequel thing. Not exactly a sequel, but just from a different perspective. So, if anyone has actually read this far into my author's note, here are the choices: A. Lily B. Remus C. Someone Else I'm not sure if I will write it yet, but if I do, it would either be called "Stolen Sock" or "One Shoe Left". Oh, don't worry about this one though. I'm not starting anything until I finish OSL, and I want this to be approximately 15-20 chapters. Until I get off my lazy butt to update again, ~blue P.S. I do respond to all of my reviews, just so ya'll know. Might take me a while, but I do respond! Oh! Just noticed this - THERE WERE NO GENTLEMAN LESSONS! Argh, oh well. I'll put a lot of them in in the next chapter! A/N2: I'm thinking of changing which group this is in - should I?

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