**Friday evening, sometime between seven and eight **YET ANOTHER LIST OF REASONS WHY PARVATI IS EVIL** 1.) She does horrible, terrible, awful, horrendous, heinous, (insert other synonyms for the word ‘mean’ here) things to Ron and me and does not feel badly about them. 2.) She is wearing WAY too much eyeliner. Seriously though, it looks like she used a quill and ink on her face. Yeesh. 3.) She’s prettier than me, and people like her more than they like me, and her hair is better than mine, and clothes look better on her than they do on me, and she smells better than I do (well…I don’t actually know that, but I needed one more thing to add on this list) 4.) She keeps giving me the evil eye. One time she was behind me – I didn’t even see her – but I could feel her evil glare burning a hole in the back of my head. THAT’S how good she is at giving me the evil eye. 5.) She is so evil that it is making me mad enough to spend time writing this stupid little list instead of doing something productive. Honestly I should be finishing up all the homework McGonnagall slammed us with, but instead I’m complaining about Parvati. Thankfully I have this journal, otherwise Harry and Ron would have to put up with me all the time. 6.) SHE caused global warming. Of this I have no proof. It is only a theory. Still… 7.) She is ALWAYS talking about Divination, like it is the best thing in the world. “Oh Hermione, it’s SUCH a shame you left Divination. I mean, now I can see things that you just, like, would never be able to know! I’d be careful tomorrow if I were you by the way…” 8.) She spilled water on me at dinner. Well…she tripped Neville, who tripped Dean, who tripped Neville again and made him fall across the table, spilling the water on me. 9.) I have another headache, which is a result of my anger. I think I’m going to bewitch a flock of flamingoes to follow her around…I mean, it’s not something physically harmful or permanently damaging, but it’s still annoying. But…err…it’s really noticeable. I mean, some teacher is bound to approach her and ask, “Miss Patail! WHY are there pink flamingoes following you around?” and she’ll answer, “Oh, Hermione Granger decided to bewitch them to follow me.” Hmm… Maybe I could bewitch a flock of MINI FLAMINGOES to follow her around! I should probably test it out first though… How did I THINK of that? I need to do my homework. **Saturday Morning, 10:01 I can’t believe myself. I did it. I conjured up a flock of flamingoes. I shrunk them. I bewitched them to follow Dennis Creevy - Yes, Dennis Creevy. You see, I wanted to see if it would work first, instead of trying it out on Parvati right away. And oh, it worked. So later, at lunch, I’ll do the same thing to Parvati. I’d laugh evilly, but I’m afraid the people sitting around me would stare. 10:30 Ok, I had to remove the mini flamingoes from Dennis. He started acting completely mad to try and scare them away (which didn’t work.) Watching him pretend to be insane was pretty amusing though. At one point, he randomly jumped up onto a table and started to sing this odd little song: **Here's a llama! There's a llama! And another little llama! Fuzzy llama! Funny llama! Llama llama DUCK!** (thank you krazycase!) Hopefully Parvati will try something similar… **TO DO LIST** 1.) Start massive amount of homework before it eats me 2.) Conjure up another flock of flamingoes 3.) Shrink flamingoes 4.) Bewitch flamingoes to follow Parvati 5.) Talk to Ron about what we’re going to do about Harry during our next Hogsmeade trip. I know, it’s a bit mean that we’re trying to get rid of him, but…we want to be…y’know, alone. 6.) Make sure I look at least somewhat acceptable, because many people will be paying a lot of attention to me after they discover I am behind the mini flamingo incident I intend to cause 7.) Eat. I’m hungry. 8.) Find a way to stop Crookshanks from eating holes in my socks. It’s getting REALLY annoying. 9.) Become more mean. Parvati deserves more than flamingoes, but I can’t bring myself to do anything evil to her. I need evil lessons or something. 12:05 She’s going insane. I love it! I didn’t think I’d actually work up the nerve to do it, but after talking with Ron for a bit, I decided to go through with it. As she was walking with Lavender to lunch, I bewitched the mini flamingoes to follow her (I’m so creative sometimes, I love it!) At first she didn’t notice anything, but after a minute or so she realized that a bunch of funny looking little things were following her around (I highly doubt she knew they were flamingoes). She tried to ignore them She couldn’t. As she entered the Great Hall she began to walk faster, thinking she could outrun them. She couldn’t. She walked even faster. They followed her faster. For some reason, she decided to break out into a full run, which turned out to be an awful idea because my little flamingoes flew after her. It was HILARIOUS. Everyone in the room was dying with laughter, I mean, how often do you see someone racing throughout the Great Hall as a bunch of weird looking little birds chase them around. I am SO CREATIVE sometimes! And Ron thought I was brilliant! Lalala! 12:30 **REASONS WHY I AM BRILLIANT** 1.) My mini flamingo plan was so creative 2.) Ron thinks I’m brilliant 3.) …wow, I can’t think of anything else to put on this list. This was QUITE a waste of paper. I apologize that you had to read this (not that I intend on letting anyone read this…) I need to do homework. 12:35 Uh oh. Got a note telling me to report to McGonnagall’s office later. So did Parvati and Ron. This, obviously, is not good. It can’t be some crazy coincidence. I am in so much trouble. They can’t blame the flamingoes on me, THEY HAVE NO PROOF! But…I did do it. Oh great. Ok, calming down, what’s the worst that could happen? She gives us detention and possibly, takes some points away from Gryffindor. She couldn’t expel us or anything, not for something as little and stupid as this. Detention and points deducted…that’s not so bad once you stop and think of it… Why do I have the feeling it’s going to be something more?
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