Chapter 23 Long Kept Confessions I don’t know how well I did on this chapter, which is slightly disheartening due to the fact that it is a pivotal chapter, that has a lot of influence on the plot. Oh well, I guess my writing funk is still there. Enjoy, even if it does suck, and please review, even a flame is better than nothing!!!! * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Three mismatched creatures made their way through the night, and into the Hogwarts grounds, finally settling in the forbidden forest. James was the first to change back into his human form, followed by Lily, and then Sirius. No one spoke. It was all too unreal, especially for James and Lily who hadn’t been out of the veil for seventeen years. After a while Sirius broke the silence. “We’re back, it worked, it really worked.” He said in an excited whisper. There was no answer, except for Lily bursting into tears, and falling into James arms, who had a very glazed over look on his face. “I want to see Harry now,” She whispered. “We have to wait.” Answered Sirius. “No, I want to see him now.” She demanded, wiping the tears from her eyes, releasing herself from James hold, and turning to face Sirius. “We can’t, if he knows we’re here it could distract him, we have to wait for the attack.” Sirius replied, standing to face Lily as well. “He’s my son, who I haven’t seen for seventeen years, Sirius Black you can not keep him from me!” She was on the verge of screaming now, and James had to hold her back so she wouldn’t fling herself on Sirius. “Lily honey, we’ll find a way for you to see him, but I think Sirius is right we can’t let him know it’s us, it would cause too many problems, we’ll just have to wait.” James tried desperately to calm her, but it proved to be of no avail. “I don’t want him to be alone anymore!” She shrieked. “Neither do I, but we have to think smart, we have to be careful how we go about things, it could prove disastrous.” James reasoned. “I just want to be there for him.” She whimpered as she slowly gave in. Sirius didn’t say anything, he knew by now that when Lily got like this only James could make her see reason. “We’ll be there for him Lils, but it has to be when he least expects it.” Said James, “So Honey, what do you say, can you wait just a little bit?” He asked consolingly. “Yes, but I just want to see him…once.” She whispered. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Harry awoke again in the middle of the night in torrents of screams, and bathing in sweat. He gave a jump, when he realized that Ron, Seamus, Neville, and Dean were all standing around him, looking at him with concerned faces. “You alright mate?” Asked Ron, running his fingers through his hair, something he did when he was nervous. “Y-Y-Yeah I think so,” Harry stammered. “Look man, about what we found out today, we’ll back you up, you know once the DA, always the DA.” Said Dean with a weak smile. “Thanks Dean, that means a lot.” Said Harry sincerely. “You sure you’re alright though, I mean you were screaming something awful, and well something about veils and prophecies and snakes, rather scary actually.” Said Seamus. “Snakes?” Asked Harry, he couldn’t remember dreaming about snakes. “Well it was more like ‘that snake’, like you were talking about something, you whispered ‘traitor’ a few times too, ain’t that right Neville.” Said Dean, asking Neville to confirm his story at the end, who was staying very quiet. “Yeah, traitors and snakes, that’s right Dean.” Murmured Neville. “I-I-I think I’m going to go down to the common room and sit by the fire for a bit, I’m feeling kind of shaky, I think I just need to think.” Said Harry removing himself from the tangle of sheets and padding towards the door without waiting for a reply. He made his way slowly down the spiral staircase leading to the common room, but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw that it held one other occupant. Ginny. He tried to calm himself down, he had two options go down and face her, or go up and face his dorm mates. After a bit of thinking he decided that it wasn’t that hard of a decision after all. He would much rather prefer facing Ginny, who at least seemed to understand him a little bit, than four teenage boys. “Hey Ginny,” He said, alerting her of his presence. He watched with bated breath as she spun around to see who had spoken. “Oh, Harry, Hi,” She said with a smile. “Do you mind if I join you down here?” He asked, walking over towards where she was sitting. “Of Course not, have a seat.” She said quietly, observing the crackling fire, and diverting her gaze from Harry. “Something wrong Gin?” Asked Harry, as he lowered himself into his favorite chair. “I heard you screaming.” Whispered Ginny. “Oh.” Replied Harry, crestfallen that she again had heard him at his weakest. “I was trying to decide whether or not to go up.” She said. “Why wouldn’t you go up?” He asked puzzled, before whenever he had been having bad dreams it seemed that Ginny had come up without hesitation. “I don’t want to talk about it, it would just cause more problems.” She replied. “You can tell me you know, I won’t think anything bad, I mean this is me Ginny, the parselmouth who has Voldemort after him, I don’t think anything could cause that many more problems for me.” “No, I can’t tell you Harry, not now that everything’s alright again. “Come on, please, you can trust me.” He continued to probe. “No.” “Please.” “FINE” She snapped, “It’s because I lied to you Harry, alright I lied to you.” “Huh?” Asked Harry “I always had feelings for you, but when I apologized I said I didn’t, because I couldn’t stand not even being your friend, I just thought if I couldn’t be more than a friend then I could at least be a friend.” “What about Kurt?” Asked Harry, completely and utterly stunned; yet pleased by Ginny’s confession. “He was a rebound, but then I started to like him a little more, but to be honest I don’t think he really cares for me as much as he says he does, and he’s always pressuring me to do things with him, that I don’t want to do with him.” “What has he done to you?” Snapped Harry. “It’s not important, I broke up with him today, after seeing that article in the Daily Prophet, I realized that it was you I really cared about, it’s always been you, but you made it clear that we were just friends, so now telling you this is just going to screw it up all over again, I shouldn’t have said anything more, I’m sorry just forget I said anything.” She finished with one small tear falling down her face, as she stared down at the carpet. “Are you telling me the truth?” Asked Harry, in a forced calm voice, when really his heart was jumping in his throat. “Every bit.” She whispered. “I feel the same way.” He whispered back. “B-B-But you said that we were just friends, when we got into that fight at Christmas, and then there was Brooke…” Ginny stuttered, clearly quite taken aback at the answer she had received. “No Ginny, it’s my turn to explain.” Said Harry, when Ginny nodded, he launched into his explanation, “ When we got into that fight, I was confused, and I was hurt, and I was scared. I had just gotten out of the hospital, after being in a coma for two weeks and being declared legally dead for five minutes, I was really uncertain about things. Then to top it all of the night before Ron tells me that my dad and Sirius, two people who I never got the chance to really know traveled into the future, and I hadn’t even had a chance to say hi, it was hard news.” “But what about Brooke, you kept telling her that you couldn’t see her to protect her, you were all set on her a month ago, what happened?” Ginny asked. “To be honest with you Ginny, I don’t think I ever had as extreme feelings for her, as I convinced myself I did.” “How?” “Well I think it all started at the hospital, when I woke up she was really the first person I talked to, and I just spilled. I told her how I hated all the pressure, and how I hated all the attention, and how I wished…how I wished…god this is hard to say to you.” “Just tell me Harry, what did you wish.” Said Ginny, staring into his eyes. “I wished, that I hadn’t woken up, I told her how I wanted to die.” He whispered, afraid to see Ginny’s reaction, but he felt it, as soon as the words left his mouth, she had launched herself onto him and engulfed him in a bone crushing hug. “I’m so sorry Harry, I wish I had known you felt like that.” She was crying now. “Just let me finish,” He said, gently prying her from himself and staring into her big blue eyes. “I told Brooke all that and she helped me through it, she comforted me. I didn’t want to tell anyone else, because I didn’t want to hurt anybody, I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, so I kind of associated her with the person I could go to with my problems, she became a confidant.” He paused, and wiped away Ginny’s tears with his thumb before continuing. “Then we got back here and Dumbledore told me something that changed everything, the only person I’ve told is Professor Stallworth.” “You can tell me Harry.” “He told me that my parents might not be dead. That Ron had told my dad everything, and they were unaware that he knew when they sent him back, and how my parents bodies had never been found, and then I had this dream where my parents were changing time, but then Dumbledore told me that they were just as likely dead. That was the night they found me on the Quidditch Pitch, I was mad because Dumbledore had erased my memory of the dream, but then somehow I remembered, I don’t know how that worked out I forgot to ask Professor Stallworth how I did it, but I was really upset again.” He could feel his throat start to tighten, as he re-told the events of his fathers time travel. “Well then as I’m sure you know all about I fell into a real funk, I stopped eating, stopped talking, and I acquired a large amount of fire whiskey, and got myself really drunk every night. During that time I pushed everyone away and I started to get really confused especially about Brooke, I had thought I liked her, but after I started talking to professor Stallworth things got clearer, and they got easier to understand. I started to question my real feelings for Brooke, and you, and I eventually decided she was more of a friend. It was weird really I was in the library and she came to see me, and at that moment I just knew that I had been wrong. It was so sudden, that I was really unsure, and I was really confused.” He paused, as his emotions began to get the better of him, as his mind kept wandering back to the painful memories from the beginning of the year. He struggled to restrain his emotions, until one traitorous tear found it’s way down his cheek. Ginny tried to comfort him again, but he pushed her away insisting he had to finish explaining his feelings. “I got confused about you, and I started realizing that you were the one I really wanted, that everything I had told you at Christmas hadn’t been true, that I had lied. I was going to tell you, but then that was the day you apologized and told me about you and Kurt. So I didn’t say anything more, I just pretended that I didn’t have feelings for you.” “Why didn’t you say anything?” Said Ginny through her tears. “I felt like I deserved it, and that you deserved to be with someone else, after I had been so awful to you, and so mean to you when you had just been telling me your feelings. I hate Kurt, but I didn’t feel like I should get a second chance to tell you how I felt. And then there’s the fact that I didn’t want you to get hurt.” “No Harry, not this, I won’t let you push me away, because you’re afraid for me, you have been being an idiot all year when it comes to that, and I won’t let you keep it up.” “I couldn’t stand for you to be hurt though, I would never be able to live with myself.” He argued, feeling more tears bristling at his eyes. “Tell me something Harry when will it ever be safe enough? You are Harry Potter, and sure you have Voldemort after you, but you also have the power to match his, you have the power of Merlin for crying out loud. And once you defeat Voldemort, which I know you can do, don’t even try to tell me you can’t, you’re going to be an auror, which is a dangerous profession. Not to mention that there will always be followers of Voldemort who think they could beat you, and will most likely go after you. You shouldn’t have to worry about me though, I am not some damsel in distress, I am strong, and I can protect myself.” “I…” Harry began before he was cut off by Ginny once more. “No Harry, you have dangers facing you that other people don’t have to deal with, that is true, but then again nothing in this world is ever safe, sometimes you just have to take a chance and see where that chance takes you.” She finished, crossing her arms across her chest, stating that she had finished and that he shouldn’t argue. Harry stared at her for a few minutes contemplating what she had just said, other people had told him not to worry, but the way she said it made so much sense. But he still couldn’t let her get hurt, he would never be able to sleep again if something were to happen to her because of him. He was torn, but he couldn’t lie how much he just wanted to be with Ginny. Finally he made up his mind. “Would you take a chance with me Ginny Weasley?” He asked. “Only if you take one with me Harry Potter.” She replied with a smile through her tears, as she hugged Harry tightly, who hugged her back. “Thank You,” He whispered into her hair. She didn’t answer but turned her head slightly to the side to look at him. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her turn towards him, she was so beautiful. He took the pad of his thumb once more and brushed away all of the remaining tear drops from her face. He could feel her breath on his face now, and he had an incredible urge to just kiss her. It happened before either of them had much of a chance to think about it, but it felt right. Her lips were full and warm against his. At first he was taken aback by the butterflies that were speeding through his stomach, but he quickly recovered and began to deepen the kiss. It was slow at first full of love and understanding, but quickly became more passionate as they both let into their feelings that they had kept bottled inside of them for so long. He could feel her tongue probing at his bottom lip, asking for entry, and he allowed, in turn slipping his tongue into her mouth. They continued like that for a full ten minutes before they finally broke apart for air. Ginny let out a large yawn, not surprising due to the fact that it was two o’ clock in the morning. Harry, who too was tired, gathered Ginny in his arms and cuddled her against him, as he settled down into the large chair, content on just holding her in front of the fire. “You know, even if you don’t want me too, I’m always going to protect you.” He whispered in a hushed tone. “I figured as much.” She giggled, as she whispered back. “I really care about you Ginny as a matter of fact.” He paused as he thought about what he was going to say, it was a big step, but it had been a long time coming. “I love you.” He said the words, full of compassion, and love. “I love you too Harry, I always have.” She whispered back, as she snuggled deeper into his chest letting out another yawn as she shut her eyes. Harry couldn’t stop a large smile from forming on his face as his heart swelled at the fact that she returned his feelings. It was hard to remember that only this morning he had found out that Voldemort was coming after him again and that there was a spy amongst them. He kissed the top of her head, turning his head to the side to look out the window. He gave a small jump as he noticed a large red bird sitting on the windowsill. “What?” Mumbled Ginny from his chest, responding to the jump he had just had. “Nothing.” He said as he watched the bird fly away, “I thought I just saw fawkes,” He mumbled as he too shut his eyes, and drifted off into the first dreamless sleep he had, had in months. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Unbeknownst to Harry and Ginny someone had heard everything, someone had watched it all, and now someone had the information they needed that could finally bring an end to the famous Harry Potter. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * A/N: Now if you are all wondering why I have posted a double update you can all thank funkyturtle13 who left me numerous reviews asking for the next chapter, which found me in a very good mood, so I went back to finish this chapter so I could post it before the new year. So here it is, even if it is a double update, please review for both chapters, if I get the same amount of reviews for a double update as I do for a single update you all may start seeing more double updates in the future. So please review, it takes ten seconds, and makes me indescribably happy. HAPPY 2005!!!!! OH WAIT forgot something...Please let me know how detailed you want Harry/Ginny scenes to be...hope this one wasn't too bad, it's really the first time i've attempted writing one (even though this one didn't have that much) but you know just for future reference. Thanks!!! Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
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