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Chapter 18 Confrontations Well here it is chapter numero diez y ocho!!!! Tomorrow is Christmas eve, so I’m pretty mucho excited.Just like I’m excited that the last time I checked I had 153 reviews. GOD I ABSOLOUTLY LOVE YOU GUYS TO DEATH!!! This story is doing so much better than I ever thought it could ever be (seeing as I hadn’t gotten that much of a response for most of my previous fics) but this story is turning out wonderfully, thanks to all of my oh so wonderful reviewers, and my silent readers. I have upwards to about 5000 reads on this story…pretty impressive. This all just started out as a way to pass the time when I was bored one day, but it has become a major hobby. I’ve also started writing a litany of song fics, which will be posted together, and I’m hoping to have that out soon, so look out for that as well. So if I don’t update before then, have a Very Merry Christmas, and all that other good stuff…and don’t forget to leave a review!!!! (Who knows if you do I may be able to sneak in another update sooner than later…I time my posting schedule on the amount of reviews I get…sort of like ‘well when I get to this number then I’ll post”) * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Harry was seeing red as he hurried towards Dumbledore’s office. What was he thinking? This time he had gone too far…way too far. He was so angry that he didn’t notice that he had passed right past the gargoyle that marked the entrance to Dumbledore’s office. He doubled back facing the gargoyle, yelling every sweet he could think of at the top of his voice. “Chocolate Frog” “Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean” “Sugar Quill” “Licorice Whip” “Canary Creams” “Cockroach Clusters” “Lemon Drop.” At the mention of lemon drops the gargoyle leapt aside allowing a now positively fuming Harry past. When he reached the old door that lead into the Professors office he didn’t even bother knocking, but just stormed in, causing the lights to flicker as he went. “HOW COULD YOU?!” he screamed, hardly noticing that Dumbledore was not alone in the office. Dumbledore didn’t answer, but merely gazed at Harry with a benign smile. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!” Harry continued screaming, still completely unawares that there was someone else in the room besides him and Dumbledore. “Can I help you Harry?” asked Dumbledore in an incredibly calm voice. “How can you be so damn calm all the time, what do you just screw people over for fun, or am I just special?” Harry hissed in a deadly whisper. “I’m afraid I am not aware of the matter you speak Harry?” “YOU ERASED MY MEMORY.” Dumbledore didn’t say anything, but Harry noticed him flinch at the accusation. “Why would Albus erase your memory Harry?” asked the man in the corner who Harry hadn’t paid any attention to before. Harry turned and examined the man who he had never seen before. He wore expensive looking robes, and had hair that resembled pepper, due to its mix of gray and black. He didn’t appear to be any older than forty, but by looking at him you could tell he was a man who had seen his fair share of things during his time on earth. “Who are you?” spat Harry. “This is Professor Stallworth, he will be teaching Defense Against the Arts for the remainder of the year,” answered Dumbledore in place of Stallworth. “What happened to Remus?” asked Harry “He was needed for the order, so abandoned his teaching post early this year,” answered Dumbledore. Harry was shocked and not particularly happy about Remus’ departure, but at the moment he had more important things on his mind. “Well good for him, but that doesn’t explain why in hell you obliviated my memory!” Shot back Harry, reverting the conversation to its original topic. “Did you Albus?” asked Professor Stallworth. “Yes,” said Dumbledore in a calm voice. “WHY DID YOU MAKE ME FORGET MY DREAM, AND OUR CONVERSATION? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HIDE THE TRUTH FROM ME?” “I was merely…” Dumbledore began, but was immediately cut off by Harry. “OH SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY ‘HARRY I DIDN’T WANT YOUR PERSONAL AFFAIRS TO GET INVOLVED’” mimicked Harry. “Harry…” Dumbledore tried to speak, but was one again interrupted. “You know I thought you were my friend, I thought I could trust you, but you keep pulling this shit on me, and I’m not going to take it anymore.” “If you would just allow me to explain my actions,” it was more of a statement than a question. “No, not this time professor. You should know by now that every time you try to hide things from me something bad happens. You didn’t think to ask me if you could tell the prophecy regarding my destiny, which ended up in Voldemort learning about the prophecy, along with the rest of the entire fricking magical world. You didn’t bother to tell me that Voldemort was trying to lure me to the department of mysteries in my fifth year, and you know what happened, SIRIUS DIED.” Harry screamed the last bit, millions of emotions rushing through him all at the same time. “If you would just listen…” “No, I’ve listened to your excuses every single time, and I’ve found a way to forgive you, but you just keep doing it. You just don’t get that you can’t keep people in the dark all the time, especially when it concerns their life.” “Is this true Albus?” asked Professor Stallworth, who was now examining Dumbledore with a somewhat astonished look in his eyes. “We will finish our discussion later Jonathon, but right now I must speak to Harry privately,” Dumbledore said in lieu of a goodbye, Professor Stallworth gave Harry one last glance with a knowing look on his face and left the room. Neither Harry nor Dumbledore spoke for a few minutes. Finally Dumbledore lifted his gaze to meet Harry’s and spoke. “I didn’t want you to build up hope that your parents were coming back, and then have those hopes crushed if they didn’t” “Well what did you…wait,” Harry paused in the middle of his sentence wide eyed, “are you telling me they could?” “Yes, Harry I am.” “But…but…they’re dead, you told me in my first year, and then when we talked at Christmas,” said Harry shaking, as he lowered himself down into a chair. “They still could be very well dead, I am afraid that even I do not know the answer to this mystery, I didn’t even have any idea what could have happened, until you told me about your dream.” “But…but…but…you told me it was just a dream…right?” asked Harry still shaking. “It could be. You were only told that your father and Sirius had traveled into the future, never that they had learned of their destinies and that they were trying to change it, but yet you dreamt of them changing the past, and you and I both know that your dreams aren’t always just dreams.” “But they were buried, I mean they died, there was a funeral, people have told me about it…how could they…” “Yes there was a funeral, but it was more of a memorial.” “I don’t get it.” “Harry,” Dumbledore let out a very loud sigh, “Your parents bodies were never found.” “What?” breathed Harry as he let his jaw drop,” How come you never told me?” “I never thought you needed to know.” “Is there any way to tell if they are alive or not?” “No, but Harry I must tell you that I do not believe your parents are still alive, after all they have been missing for nearly seventeen years now, and even though you had that dream, this time I believe that it was only that, a dream.” Harry didn’t say anything. He couldn’t have said anything even if he had tried. He was in pure and total shock. He had just been told by this man who he used to consider his mentor that his parents might not really be dead, but that they most likely were dead. That their bodies had never been found. Finally he managed to choke out a question. “Then what happened to them?” “I believe that the blast that destroyed your home, well destroyed them as well.” “Don’t say that.” “You wanted to know.” “DON’T BLAME THIS ON ME!” “I never did.” “How come you didn’t just tell me from the beginning, I’m not eleven years old anymore, do you think so poorly of me that you didn’t think I could handle the truth?” “Never Harry.” “THEN WHY DID YOU ERASE MY MEMORY!” “I am sorry to say, that looking back on it there was no real reason, rather than wanting to ease your mind so you didn’t dwell on the past.” “I’ve known for my entire life that my parents were dead, did you think erasing one lousy conversation would stop me from dwelling on the whole thing entirely?” “No, I didn’t” “Then you had no reason to…no right to,” said Harry getting over his shock and becoming angry once again. “I only ask your forgiveness Harry.” “Forgiveness? Why should I forgive you? How could I forgive you, yet again I come to you for help, as someone I look up to, a mentor, and what do you do? You erase my bloody memory. I don’t see how I can trust you anymore, when you keep doing the same thing over and over again.” Dumbledore didn’t answer. “See if I ever come to you with my problems again,” said Harry standing up and making his way towards the door, “this time I’ll dismiss myself, goodnight Professor,” said Harry in a cold voice, slamming the old wooden door behind him. Once he was outside of Dumbledore’s office he leaned back against the door and collapsed onto a heap on the ground trying desperately not to cry. He was on an emotional roller coaster. It wasn’t easy finding out the man you had always trusted above all others had erased your memory, then find out that your parents might not be dead, but then told that you shouldn’t keep your hopes up because they probably were. He sat outside the office door for a good half-hour contemplating his next move. He didn’t feel like he could go back to the common room, he didn’t want to have to face any questions considering that it was still early enough that a lot of people would probably still be awake. He didn’t think he could go to an empty classroom, because he would most likely be found by Filch or some prefect up patrolling the corridors, and he certainly couldn’t stay outside Dumbledore’s office any longer, so without any real plan in mind he stood up and began to wander through the many halls at Hogwarts. After walking around the school for what seemed like hours Harry found himself facing the main doors. He had never thought about going outside, but considering it now it was a pretty good hiding place. No one would accidentally stumble upon him there and even if people did start looking for him they would most likely look inside before out. So making his decision he pulled one of the doors open a crack and slipped out into the chilly night air. He began walking towards the Quidditch Pitch, shivering slightly from a combination of nerves and the low temperature of the air surrounding him. He was wishing now that he had a cloak with him. When he reached the entrance to the Quidditch Pitch he slipped inside much like he had done when leaving the castle. He stood examining the pitch silently for a few moments, the last time he had been out here was his accident, shuddering slightly from the memory of that fateful Quidditch game he made his way over to the changing rooms, hoping to take refuge in one of them away from the cold. Reaching the door he pulled on the tiny brass handle only to find it locked, he began feeling around for his wand in his pockets, but remembered a few seconds later that it was in his cloak up in the common room. He contemplated for a few moments whether he should just turn around and go back up to the castle, but the information that he had just received forced it’s way back into the forefront of his mind, and he found that he didn’t have the strength anymore to go up to the castle even if he had really wanted to, he was just too mentally and physically exhausted. He wandered out onto the pitch a little further until he crumpled into a sobbing heap in the middle of the pitch. It was one of the few times he could ever remember crying. The last time he had cried was when Sirius died in his fifth year; it wasn’t something he did very often. He had always been taught growing up with the Dursleys that crying was a sign of weakness, and he didn’t like to be weak, but today was different. His emotions were raw after being told information that changed his life as he had always known it, he just had to let it all out. He was now shivering like mad as the winter wind continued to beat down upon him. It was twice as bad, however, due to the fact that he only had a pair of jeans and a light t-shirt on. Finally after a few hours of sobbing and shivering he blacked out, leaving every worry behind him. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Harry opened his eyes slightly at the sound of voices. He tried to roll over, but his stiff body protested, and he let out a small groan. As soon as the groan escaped his lips he heard a yell at the other end of the pitch. “Brooke, Ron, there he is!” He wasn’t sure who was shouting his name, but that whoever it was had lifted him slightly from the ground and wrapped a cloak around his trembling body. He heard another voice from behind him. “Is he going to be okay?” The voice asked “I don’t know, but he’s shivering like mad, we’d better take him to Madam Pomfrey.” The person holding him answered. “I knew something wasn’t right, he just ran out of the common room yelling about some bastard.” Another voice chimed in. “It’s a good thing we found him then.” “What do you think happened to him?” “I dunno, but I’m guessing it’s bad, by the looks of it he’s been crying, I’ve never seen Harry cry…ever.” Harry barely followed the conversation going on between the three voices, but had heard enough to know that they were the voices of Ron, Hermione, and Brooke. “We better get him inside before he catches his death.” He heard one of the voices say, then he felt himself being released from the arms of the person who had been originally holding him, and felt his body being lifted all the way up off the ground, before he blacked out once again. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * Harry felt himself awaken once again, as a dull throbbing in the back of his brain jolted him from his slumber. He rolled over slightly making a slight “mmm” sound as he went. He slowly opened his eyes to reveal a darkened hospital wing, and a few figures standing to the side looking anxiously down on him. “Harry are you awake?” asked one of the figures. “Hermione, that you?” he answered groggily, only to be swept up into a hug throughout Hermione’s muffled sobs. “Oh…Harry...Ron came and found us...said you never came back to the common room...we were so worried.” “Hermione get off him he does need to breathe you know?” said Ron carefully prying Hermione off of Harry and taking her in his own arms. “How are you feeling Harry?” asked another voice, which Harry turned in the direction of only to find Brooke sitting down next to his bed holding his hand, which he hadn’t noticed before. “Okay I guess,” he mumbled. He really wanted to be left alone, and now that Brooke was here he was getting quite self conscious of his appearance considering he had been out cold in the middle of a giant muddy Quidditch pitch crying his eyes out. “My head hurts a little.” “Well I’m not surprised mate it looked like you passed out right in the middle of the pitch,” said Ron through Hermione’s hair, which was muffling his voice. “I think I did, I don’t really remember anything after I got down there.” Harry replied. “Why did you go down there Harry?” asked Brooke in a soothing tone of voice, as she gently stroked his hand, trying to calm down his shaking. “I just talked to someone, and found out some stuff that really got to me, I needed to be alone,” he answered bluntly not wanting to have to go into detail about the nights proceedings. “Was it Malfoy?” Asked Ron. “You mean that blonde boy from Flourish and Blotts?” questioned Brooke. “Yeah that’s him, but it wasn’t Malfoy.” Said Harry answering both questions at once. “Well then who was it then.” Ron probed further. “It was Dumbledore.” “What did he say,” Asked Ron “I really don’t want to talk about it right now…I just have to let it sink in right now.” Answered Harry. “Did it have something to do with Voldemort,” Guessed Ron. “I told you Ron, I really don’t want to talk about it right now,” said Harry as a particularly strong shiver ran throughout his body, and Brooke kept stroking his hand. “I think we should get Madam Pomfrey to come take a look at you Harry, you could use some pepper up potion, you’re shaking something awful,” said Brooke breaking the silence. “I’ll go get her,” said Hermione releasing herself from Ron’s embrace and heading for Madam Pomfrey’s office. A few moments later Hermione and Madam Pomfrey emerged from the office the latter of the two carrying a goblet of bubbling liquid. “Gave your friends quite a scare there, don’t know what you were doing out there so late at night, you better take this.” Said Madam Pomfrey holding the goblet out to Harry. “What is it?” He asked peering down at the goblets bubbling contents. “It’s pepper up potion, it’ll help warm you up, then you can leave with your friends and go back to your common room, seeing as how there’s nothing else wrong with you.” “Alright,” said Harry surrendering, as he devoured the contents of the goblet in two large gulps. He immediately felt the potion work as he stopped shivering so severely and felt a warm tingling sensation envelop his body. He allowed Ron and Madam Pomfrey to help him out of bed, as the girls watched on. “Now Mr. Potter it’s nearly four o’ clock in the morning, I want you to go back to your dorm and climb into bed immediately, and no morning classes either, you need to regain your strength.” Ordered Madam Pomfrey. Harry simply nodded and allowed the others to guide him back to the common room. Once they entered the empty common room Harry wandered over to the chair he had been sitting in earlier the night before and curled into a ball staring into the dying embers. He looked up once to see Hermione heading up to the girls dorms, and Ron turn to ask him if he was coming up to bed. “I’m just going to sit here awhile, you go up, I’ll be there in a second.” Harry answered, before turning back to the fire, he didn’t notice that Brooke hadn’t gone up, but had sat down across from him. “You really had me scared out there Harry,” said Brooke alerting Harry of her presence. “I didn’t mean to worry anybody, I just needed to get away,” he answered in an expressionless tone. “I know that, and I know that whatever happened must have been pretty big, and I know you don’t want to talk about it now, but if you ever decide you need to you know, talk about it and all, I’ll always listen.” “Thanks” Said Harry still staring into the flames “You know Harry I never lost my feelings for you.” Brooke said quietly, causing Harry to look over at her. “Huh?” he asked stupidly. “I said, that I never lost my feelings for you,” she repeated even quieter. “I never did either,” said Harry in a tone to match Brooke’s. “Then what are we waiting for, why not just be together?” She asked, a hopeful note in her voice. “I’ve already told you, I won’t risk your safety, it’s too important to me that you stay safe.” Harry answered turning his head once more to stare into the flames. Brooke didn’t answer him, but after a few minutes stood up and went up the dormitory staircase, leaving behind a very depressed Harry Potter. * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * A/N: Well hoped you enjoyed, and here’s another quote…I think it may have to become a regular thing…me leaving quotes and all, I rather enjoy it. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! "We need not fear the expression of ideas; we do need to fear their suppression." --Harry S Truman

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