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A/N: Well, here it is, the long-awaited Chapter Two! Omg, I got FOURTY-SEVEN reviews on my first chapter! *does happy dance* That totally rocks! All you reviewers are so awesome! Now, I know I promised I'd update quickly, but this chapter kinda took a while because I was freaking out about it being as good as the last one. I'm still not sure if it is, but I hope it is, and I hope this isn't a run-on sentence either, because that would be really really annoying and bad, right? ^_^ Heh, sorry, now, go on and read the chapter! And don't forget to REVIEW! ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lettuce! Hooray! There was lettuce at dinner! Yes, quite amazing actually, they had lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, and all other types of delicious greens! Sirius was disgusted at me, but I don’t care. I love fruits and vegetables, and no one can keep me away from a nice, delicious plate of lettuce. Erm, maybe I should explain a little. Ever since we became animagi, we’ve each grown keen on certain foods. Let’s see, Remus has always had the strangest obsession with chocolate, but he also just adores steak. Sirius just loves any kind of food and will eat anything, but ever since he went to his dog form, he’s grown a certain fondness for chicken. Especially chicken legs – man, we’ve got the bones from ‘em all over our dorm room! Peter has his cheese [Swiss, American, blue, you name it.] and insists on keeping some on his beside table at all times. [Also adding to the mess and odors of our accommodations] Then, finally, I’ve got my delicious greens. Oh joy! I have no idea how Remus and Sirius don’t like them; they’re delicious! Especially lettuce…..mmmm….. Oh, wait! Busy with my speech about foods, [LETTUCE = LIFE] I almost forgot to mention my gent lesson for today: “Do not be arrogant.” What the bloody hell is this?!? I am not arrogant! It’s not my fault I’ve got a lot of talen- oh, wait. Damn, I hate it when Remus is right. Of course, he’s right pretty much all of the time, so I’ve become a sour, bitter person. No, just kidding! A lot of times Remus’ brainy-ness comes in handy. Gah, there goes the contradictory side of me again. Are you still keeping track Sirius? Maybe I should try to stop that too….nah. Remus is actually helping me with this advice, since I need practice being humble. He comes in, gives me a compliment, and I try to not be arrogant. If I do it right, I get a leaf of the best food in the world, and if I get it wrong then Sirius comes over and pinches me. And it hurts! So far I haven’t gotten any lettuce! What’s WRONG with them?!?! I’m being perfectly humble. Oh, damn, Remus wants to practice some more. GET AWAY SIRIUS!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lettuce!?! BROCCOLI!?!?! You are insane. Completely insane. Mua ha ha ha! Pinching you is great! You make this little squeaky noise then you glare at me! I bet you didn’t know your left eye twitches when you’re angry! And you make these a motion with which to strangle me, but by that time Remus has you frozen in place with a handy little spell! And, LIAR!!! THIS JOURNAL IS BLASPHEMY! James, you wrote before that Evans turned you down, then you wrote that you haven’t asked her out in 6 months! Treason! Tsk tsk tsk, lying in your own journal?? I’m ashamed of you. AND, you wrote that you had popped your balloon sized ego! What is this?!?!? I should just throw this-this…garbage! … into the lake, seeing as you’re not being very truthful! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh, damn. Sirius caught on to my little, er, fibs. I didn’t mean to, honestly! I just thought that, oh, never mind. Fine, you want the truth!?! You want the TRUTH!?!?! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!! Heh, once again, just kidding. It’s not that bad actually. Here are the little lies that I was hoping would go unnoticed: I haven’t stopped asking Lily out. Well, I hadn’t when I first started writing in this, but now I have. I still have the tiniest bit of arrogance left in me. Just a tad bit! I don’t know, they were more along the things I WANTED to do, rather than had been doing. But I seriously [no pun intended] have been getting my homework done earlier! Stop glaring at me Sirius, some people LIKE getting a full nights sleep. Gah, I keep almost-forgetting to say what the day’s lesson is! Well, today’s is the same as yesterday, seeing as my attempts to comply with it were, erm, less that satisfactory. But, I’m showing progress! I actually got two pieces of lettuce today! Sirius was extremely disappointed, so that was an added bonus. (Stop glaring at the page Pads, people are going to stare) Though, Remus says it’ll still be a good while before I’m humble. Chivalry is my specialty, but I just CANNOT rid myself of arrogance! Grr! Damn all those fan girls! Well, I suppose I could’ve pushed them away if I wanted to, but it’s so much easier to blame them, so I will. Oh god, now I sound childish, putting the blame on someone else…DAMN! Now I’m becoming guilty over something completely insignificant! I hope you’re happy Remus! You’ve turned me into a…a….overanalyzing, sympathetic…weirdo! Gah!!!!! I have to leave now so I may rip out my hair in frustration. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aw, what’s with the short entry? Getting bored of this already? *Gasp*! Liar! You even admitted it! I’m so ashamed of you James – I thought you were better than that! Oh, and as far as pinching goes, I still got you all those other times! Sigh…you need to write longer entries! You’ve left me here with nothing to say…a disappointingly short message by myself…I’m so alone!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GENTLEMAN LESSONS: DAY 5 Hooray, I remembered! Well, since I’m showing progress about “as fast as an overweight, dying snail”, as Remus so eloquently put it, I’m still stuck with the Pinch-James-Because-It’s-Fun advice. But I AM making progress! In fact, I got 5 whole pieces of lettuce today! Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be helping. I held the door open for Lily and greeted her like before, but she in turn glared and told me to get lost. Jeez, she makes it seem like I stood there all day just waiting for her to pass by so I could hold the door open for her. I’m not that obsessed! All right, so I may have stayed up ONCE in the common room under my invisibility cloak watching her, but it was only that one time! News on the home front for the Polyjuice potion: Since Tweety is a professor, and therefore, very smart, he knows to do a quickening potion so it won’t take a month to brew. We’re starting later this week, and I can’t wait! Heading onto one of the most important aspects of my life, [The most important is, of course, the amazing Lily Evans] the last Quiddich match of the year is coming up! We’re tied with the Ravenclaws, but their chasers can’t score for shmut. Last year their team was amazing, [but not so amazing that we couldn’t beat them] but unfortunately for them, all of their chasers graduated last year and their new ones don’t get along at all. And their seeker doesn’t have a chance against me. [Said in a not arrogant way!] Must go now – the aforementioned sport must be practiced now. And Sirius, don’t not post in here no more. That triple negative should confuse you for a good…. Eh, half hour, I’d say? Possibly more, you never had muggle English class…. [Evil mother, making me take them as a child. I crave your grammatical ignorance! Then again, it does save me from many non-understandable lectures from Remus…eh, whatever.] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey, I know just as much grammar as you do! As a Black, I had this evil tutor that came over daily. Frightening lady, she was. Carried a whip around; she scared the hell outta me. Oh, and that little ‘doesn’t have a chance thing’, yeah, that was totally arrogant. Be afraid; be very afraid – I’m coming to pinch you! This is such an odd journal. Your future self, after reading this, will think you were a complete idiot, and will take tests to check their sanity. I’ll have already been in an asylum by then. Wonderful, promising futures we have ahead of us, neh? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GENTLEMAN LESSONS: DAY 6 Gah! Still no new advice! How am I supposed to become the perfect man for Lily if all I’ll be is a mushy bag of potatoes that doesn’t call her Evans, doesn’t ask her out incessantly, and is bruised to the core from pinching? Doesn’t sound too appealing to me…. But if that’s what Lily wants, that’s what I’ll be. What she fails to realize is that I will do ANYTHING to make her like me. I would paint the sky green for her. I would shave my head for her. [My hair would just grow back by the next day anyway.] I would die for her. Bah, enough of the dramatics! It’s ruining the mood of this journal, and I shall not allow it! Though, I can’t say it won’t happen again. But, just in case, I have a bat at the ready with which to whack it. Well, if you want to go all literal and reality-esq. on me, you’d know I can’t really whack the words, and whacking the journal wouldn’t make any difference, but you get my point. And I find the idea of bashing a book oddly appealing… Erm, Remus, you never heard me say that. It was the quill! The quill I tell you – has a mind of its own, it does! Writes whatever nonsense on the page it wants! Leaving the topic of a glaring Moony, I CAN’T WAIT FOR TOMORROW!!! We’re finally making the Polyjuice Potion! And potions is the last class of the day, so I’ll be able to spend as much time with Lily as possible! I’ve had Remus invite Lily to a study session in the library [must make a note to find out where it is.] and it’ll go perfectly! Or, hopefully it’ll go perfectly….That sentence has too many words ending in ‘ly’ in it. Okay, maybe two isn’t that many, but it’s still slightly confusing! Anyway, the others aren’t as enthusiastic as I am for tomorrow. Sirius is threatening Peter and his cheese, Peter is cowering in fear [and protecting his cheese], and Remus is reading. So this is my life. The great James Potter spends his days writing in a journal - writing about how the girl of his dreams won’t return his feelings, how he’d like to bash the very journal he’s writing in, and how he’s gone so insane that he writes about himself in third person. Oh, and he also writes about his fetish with lettuce. [Hey, that rhymes!] Gah, what’s wrong with me? Too many dramatics; I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ACTOR! Though, I DO have a natural knack for it…. Nah, an auror’s life for me! All right, I’m off to make my life more interesting, and in so doing, making the lives of others more interesting by doing my favorite pastime, pranking! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pranking? When? Where? What? You can’t even TRY to prank without me Prongs – two to a duo! And haven’t you been listening to me? I already told you you were odd, no need to be so redundant and in detail. STOP OBSESSING OVER EVANS! I thought you said you were slightly over her! Get a grip, man! Or maybe I should beat some sense into you with that bat… it IS conveniently located between our beds… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GENTLEMAN LESSONS: DAY 7 – IS NEAR TO GOING INSANE WITH LACK OF NEW ADVICE You might have noticed I added a little note this time to the beginning. Well, it’s self-explanatory. IF SIRIUS DOESN’T STOP PINCHING ME, I’M GOING TO PUNCH HIM. Simple as that. Gah, I’m tired of waiting for new advice, but I must admit, I AM getting better at the whole not-arrogant thing. Sirius only pinched me 5 times today! Yes, he only pinched me 5 times. I didn’t not get pinched five times! Amazing, eh? And yes, I know, horrible with the double negatives, but I like annoying Remus. Gah, now that that’s done with, I have to get to the horrible news. The Polyjuice potion worked wondrously. Why, you ask, is that a bad thing? Well, Lily and I were having an amazing time and everything. Then the hour ended. I tried getting away, but Lily pulled me back to ask for help with a specific question. Unfortunately, she grabbed the hand of James Potter instead of who she thought to be was Remus Lupin. Luckily, she was shocked, as most would be, so I had enough time to run away. So ends what was supposed to be the greatest hour of my seventeen-year-old life. At the moment, I’m high up in a tree on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, on the far side of the lake, hoping to god Lily won’t find me. Oh, and Remus is on the branch across from me, writing out his will. Hold on a sec…….all right, he’s leaving me his books on spells and hexes, and a coupon for a free butterbeer at Hogsmeade. Hey, no fair! Sirius gets- At this point in time, James stopped writing to see who was coming outside. He saw a flash of red hair storming towards Remus and his hideout, and dropped his quill out of fear. He tried to catch it, but succeeded in only falling from his branch, and this Journal fell through a brumble of branches and leaves along with its author. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A/N: Well? What'd you think??? Good as the last chapter??? Better??? Worse??? Tell me by REVIEWING! *hint hint* ^_^

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