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A/N: Hey ya’ll! Well, it’s blue here, giving you yet another piece of fanfiction! And, I must say, I do believe this is the best of my work yet, so I hope you REVIEW! *hint hint* ^_^

Oh, and by the way, this starts around….eh, May?....of the Marauders’ sixth year.

And the italics are Sirius! Just so everyone knows...
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Life sucks. Really. Everyone and everything is against me. It’s a conspiracy!

First, Lily Evans turns me down for YET ANOTHER date, and then when Sirius chucked my quill across the room, she picked it up and threw it in the fire!

That was my favorite quill too.

Second, Remus! Remus J. Lupin, my supposed best friend next to Sirius, has finally turned on me! Apparently, he’s tired of my “incessant whining” about a certain red-haired quill destroyer (My favorite quill! EAGLE FEATHER!!!) and promptly gave me a leather-bound journal, to which I can only assume he was planning on giving it to me for some time now as many people don’t carry empty journals around. Traitor! I cannot express myself in merely a plain journal! Though, it is quite good quality - leather bound and everything! – but that’s not the point. He’s supposed to pat my back and tell me how to make everything better. Thus, he shall find frog spawn in his underwear, for good measure to show I AM STILL THE PRANK KING and that journals are stupid.

Third, I lost my left sock. The one with the quaffles on it. Now all I have is the right one, and my left foot is freezing because I cannot be bothered to go all the way to my trunk and get another pair. It’s the principle of the thing! My sock is gone, forever more.

I hereby dub this day Destroy-James’-Favorite-Things-And-Give-Him-A-Journal-As-Compensation Day. Ignore the fact that I’m writing in the aforementioned journal right now, because Moony will never let me live it down, and Sirius will mock me and probably publish this for the whole of Hogwarts to see. Believe me, he will.




I miss my sock. I can’t feel my toes.


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MUA HA HA HA!!!! Damn straight I would publish this, but it hasn’t been filled with anything mortifying yet, so I’ll leave it be. Besides, blackmail is so much easier to work with than random humiliation.

As to comment on your complaints,
1.) She turned you down because you just BLEW UP HER POTION!
2.) Frog spawn?! We got more???
3.) It’s a sock man! Besides, you still have one sock left.

Hooray! A new holiday! For easier reference, we can call it DJFTAGHAJAC day! Much shorter and easier to say, don’t you think?

Jamie, you are a moron. An overly-dramatic moron who complains too much.




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How is it that he can find things no matter how/where I hide them!?!? I ask you, who would think to look in Pete’s old cheese drawer for a journal!?! WELL, even if he does find it, he can’t read it anymore because I put on a spell so it has a password. TAKE THAT EVIL PRIVACY-DISRUPTING FIEND!!!

Today I told Remus the journal was stupid and teased him with the finest Honeydukes chocolate I had at the time, being which a bar of Honeydukes dark chocolate with caramel on the inside. (Um, not that I bring delicious chocolate bars with me or anything, I just happened to have it…in my pocket…yeah.) He literally started drooling! I have no idea why, but that guy has some kind of weird thing for chocolate! He grabbed it with Seeker-lightening-fast reflexes and in between savored bites of the chocolate, he mentioned that Sirius had shown him and Peter that I had written in it. He then finished off the sweet and smiled smugly as I tried in vain to think of a comeback.

But ho! The day was not wasted! Wait. Why the hell am I writing like this, you ask, instead of my oh-so-witty-and-clever normal writing style? I’m writing like this because REMUS IS GIVING ME GENTLEMAN LESSONS! Why am I excited? IT’LL MAKE LILY LIKE ME!!!

Yeah, I’m not going to write like that ever again. Gentlemen can use quick-quills that self-edit. Anywho, I SUPPOSE I’m not only doing it for Lily, despite many eye rolls from Sirius, chuckles from Remus, and eye rolling chuckles from Peter. Really! Yeah, ever since that stupid thing from a couple months ago, I’ve been thinking. (Amazing, I know.)

But, I didn’t have this journal at the time, or any other time before yesterday for that matter, so it is clearly missing many important details of the life of James Potter, but I can’t be bothered to state them all. Instead, I’ll write anything that has relevance to the topic at hand, whenever it is at hand and include the details then.

Since it is a rather unpleasant memory, I’m going to keep it short. Thus, I contradict myself and am NOT adding the details. Oh bugger, I don’t care.

Sirius said stupid stuff to Snape after being provoked, Snape almost got killed/became a werewolf. I save Snape, Remus is angry at Sirius for months, finally forgives him later.

After that event, which is MUCH more horrible than I wrote it to be, I began thinking. I started questioning the value of life, how other people feel, when my History of Magic essay was due, etc. etc. etc. That night changed me. It made me conscious of my actions, and made me want to change for the better. I took a pin and popped my balloon-sized ego [metaphorically speaking of course], and stopped being less arrogant. I actually started doing my homework on Sunday AFTERNOON rather than Sunday NIGHT, and finally realized how funny it is to watch Sirius frantically write down nonsense at the last minute. I stopped pranking people, though I do still prank, just not certain people or houses. (Yes, that even includes Slytherin, the slimy gi- I mean, the…..um…….the….. Slytherin people.)

All of that change has made Sirius think that I have become a square, goody-two-shoes. I’ll have him know that Marauders are NEVER goody-two-shoes. Not even Remus, though he does like to keep up the image.


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Yes, I’m still here! Really Prongs, “Lily Evans”? Couldn’t you think of ANYTHING more…challenging…than that? Bother, this was too easy. Gentleman lessons?! You have to be freaking kidding me man, SHE’S A GIRL! You’re going to do a complete 180 for a GIRL??? You could have any other girl – heck, you could probably even have McGonagall – but noooo, you have to have HER!

Sometimes I question your sanity.



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GENTLEMAN LESSONS: DAY 1

1. Call her “Lily”, not just “Evans”. It’s her first name, and you don’t call Sirius “Black”, now do you? No, you call him Sirius. (Or Padfoot, but that’s a nickname.)

So far that’s the only advice Moony has given me. Apparently, I get one piece of advice per day, and the rest of the day is spent “contemplating” it. All right, I understood him and have branded it to my brain the first time I heard it, why do I have to wait for tomorrow to get another piece?

The spoken subject of my affection has apparently been shocked at my use of her name. I tested out my new skill, by cheerily saying, “’Ello Lily.” as I passed her at dinner. She froze, blinked, shook her head, stared at me, and then continued eating her soup. (Chicken, must make a note of that) Alright, so it didn’t exactly make her begin serenading me, but it still had an effect.

And I don’t even want her to serenade me.

I just want her to return the passion of which I have for her. I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with the amazing Lily? She’s slightly petite, has red hair, brilliant emerald green eyes, and she has a great body. (Erm, not that I’ve been staring or anything) Besides her physical attributes, she’s smart, clever, kind to everyone, and funny. Sure, she has a BIT of a tempter, but, eh, who doesn’t?

What’s odd is that I’m the only one to think this. I mean, sure, all the other gents, much to my annoyance, notice her body, but they don’t really KNOW her. And I’m not sure I do either. Let’s see, here’s what I have gathered over the years:

1. Best class is Charms
2. Favorite flower is the daisy
3. Favorite food is chicken soup (Supposedly; must wait for confirmation)
4. Has turned me down exactly 73 times.
5. Is a prefect, and does well as an authoritative leader.

That’s it. Five things. All right, I seriously need to get to know more about her. But how, that is the question, since she flees if I come within 15 feet of her. How she knows when I’m coming, I will never know. Or maybe I will. Oh, whatever.


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“Sirius will never figure this out”? C’mon Prongs, you and I both know that I’ll crack any lock you make. Your journal will never go a day without hilarious, comic relief by the amazing Sirius Black!

Really mate, you need to just give up on her! She’s never going to give you a chance! And if you don’t leave her alone, I’m pretty sure she’ll make YOU soup. Not that she’ll eat it; she’ll probably just dump you/it in the lake.

73 times? Whoa! Dude, you really need to become less obsessive.

You need a hobby. Meet me and Remus on the Quiddich pitch at five for practice!



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GENTLEMAN LESSONS: DAY 2

2. Do NOT incessantly ask Lily out. In fact, stop asking her out altogether. If you do ask her out, wait until you’re friends with her.

This has proven to be a mighty, difficult task, and I constantly am on the urge to disobey it. No, just kidding. Actually, it’s proving easier than I thought. Hold on, now that I think about it, I haven’t been asking her out at all. When was the last time I asked her out? Whoa! I haven’t asked her out for the last 6 months! How odd…eh.

Mainly, I think I’ve lowered my Evans-obsession down, from stalker to wistful dreamer. Once again, I’ve done the amazing – I’ve been thinking. I mean, Sirius is right. A guy only needs to be turned down so many times to know she won’t go out with him. Ever. Damn, that’s depressing. Not that she knows that. No, all the wonderful Lily thinks is that I want to get her into bed with me. Actually, unknown to anyone, I haven’t even shagged anyone yet. Neither has Sirius, much as he likes to pretend he has.

So now you can’t publish this! Ha! Take that Padfoot! I can already see your spluttering, and no, you can’t just erase that part, because I’m using permanent ink. (So I may one day in the far, far future look back on this one day and think, ‘Oh, I was such a moron then’)

All topics of Ms. Evans aside, I must complain, not whine, about the teachers at this fine establishment. I’ll put it in laymen’s terms: Professor Tweet is a git.

Now, I’m as good as the next person at Potions, but really! A ten-foot essay?! How much can there possibly be to write about on Polyjuice Potion? I mean, sure, you should go into detail, but not that much! He’s bloody insane!

What am I talking about, he’s an excellent Professor! No, this is not Remus stealing the journal from James. In class, we’ll be making the potion eventually, and I’m paired with Remus! Why, you ask, is this a good thing? Because I can use it to get to know Lily! She, unfortunately, isn’t in our Potions class. I think she actually was moved to Advanced Potions with the Seventh Years. Ah well, I’ll find out tomorrow! Right now, I’m off to right a damned essay.


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James, man, you’re one of the most contradictory people I know. Re-read what you wrote! You’ve only written four entries, and you contradict yourself three times! Oh, never mind. Whatever floats your odd, sunken boat I suppose.

As for the Polyjuice Potion thing, humph! Evil you and Remus; I have to be PETER for an hour! I mean, Pete’s a good lad, great friend, but I don’t trust what he’ll do as me. Think of my reputation, dear lad, think of my reputation! I’ll be on his heels the whole bloody time, you can be sure of that.


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A/N: So…..? What do you think??? I’m quite satisfied with this, and I hope you enjoy it! Now, I’m very sorry, but when I update this fic, it’ll probably take a while. I’m trying to write long, satisfying chapters, so be happy with what you get! Anyway, like I said, I hope you enjoy reading this fic, and I REALLY hope you review too! *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge* ^_^

A/N 2: I purposely had it so James asks Lily out in the beginning, then claims he hasn't asked her out for months. Yeah, I'm planning an amusing little something for you all, so this little mishap will be cleared up in the next chapter. ^_^

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