Disclaimer: This story is a prequel to the Harry Potter series, and it belongs to JK Rowling. All information belongs to her and to the HP Lexicon, except for the OC's. Author's Note: This chapter is purely for humoristic purposes, and to see how friendships start forming. It's also an introduction to the Gryffindor-Slytherin war that will dominate in this fic... Apart from that, you'll be able to recognize some people that were called out in the Sorting, and some characters that we are familiar with. (eg. Ludo Bagman). To clarify, the 'Bagman' called out in the Sorting was Otto, his brother.
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CHAPTER 3 - The Dungbomb Disaster
November - December, 1971
When Lily Evans returned from her Transfiguration lesson, she hesitated before sitting down for lunch. In the few months she had spent at Hogwarts, she'd fallen in love with the castle and the teachers. But the students - that was a different matter altogether.
The Slytherins in her year, namely Narcissa Black and Demetrius Avery, were mean and intimidating. They would jeer at her simply for having Muggle parents. Lily considered the Hufflepuff girls somewhat insipid (especially that dim-witted Gladys Gudgeon), and the Ravenclaws stuck to themselves.
Her fellow Gryffindors weren't much better. Florence and Doris, with whom she shared a dormitory, were always discussing the latest fashions and boys. Lily wasn't interested in either of those yet.
So who would she sit with?
As her eyes travelled over the Gryffindor table, Lily spotted the dark-haired girl Andromeda, who smiled shyly at her. Out of everyone she had met, this Black sister was the nicest, although she didn't talk very much.
"Hello. What's for lunch today?" Lily inquired, setting down her things and taking a seat.
"Porkchops and mashed potatoes," James Potter replied, as though it had been him who had been asked. Lily looked up to see him and his friend, Andromeda's cousin, Sirius Black, sitting opposite them. She sighed in irritation.
Those two were the typical immature boys trying to make an impression on people - not stopping to think of what sort of impression it was. James had stolen Lily's agenda in Charms to tease her, and she hadn't been too fond of him since.
"That's too bad, I despise pork," Lily said, watching James meaningfully. She wanted him to know it was him she disliked.
"Ah well, let me fix that for you then!" James pulled out a wand and pointed it at Lily's plate.
"Transpouletus!" he cried, swishing his wand in a criss-cross motion. Lily's porkchop instantly turned to chicken.
"Oh wow!" Andromeda exclaimed, which annoyed Lily even more. "When did you learn that spell? It's clearly second year!"
James chuckled good-naturedly.
"Oh, my father taught me a few things in case of an emergency. Pleasing a girl like you, Evans, can certainly be called one." Lily chose to ignore this comment.
"I'd like to meet that father of yours!" Sirius said, impressed. "It might give me a chance with that Ravenclaw third-year."
Lily and Andromeda laughed mockingly.
"The only way a third year will even look at you is if James transfigures you into adolescence," Andromeda remarked dryly.
Sirius feigned an offended-look.
"What? I'm willing to bet she'll have me right now!" And putting action to words, he rose up from his seat and headed for the Ravenclaw table. All heads turned in his direction. Ludo Bagman, an athletic fifth year, immediately grabbed the chance at a bet.
"Five sickles says he makes it! Who is that girl, anyway?"
"Ooh, I know who it is, it's Elladora Guffy!" a small boy named Peter Pettigrew piped up.
They all watched breathlessly while Sirius leaned over the table and exchanged a few words with the chesty blond. A resounding smack sent them all into stupors of laughter.
Sirius returned to the Gryffindors clutching his cheek, red with shame.
"Just wait until I'm a few years older, they'll be begging for it," he muttered.
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That afternoon the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw first years milled into Greenhouse Two, still discussing the incident at lunch. The batty Professor Vines calmed them down so that she could begin her lesson on Tipsy Tulips.
"When these tulips are opened, we can clearly see the tipsy anther, swaying from side to side. Can I have a volunteer, please?"
Most children backed away in fear. You never knew what Vines would make you do. Finally, the Ravenclaw Hestia Jones stepped forwards. The students gathered round curiously while their teacher slit open a flashy purple tulip, and a long elf-like creature waved at them merrily from the inside.
"Please hold the anther still while I spread the pollen," Vines ordered, and Hestia grabbed the drunken creature, looking disgruntled. Proffesor Vines proceeded to rubbing a golden substance over the anther's mouth.
A sudden crash behind Sirius and James had them twist around in surprise; they had been in the process of pouring some pollen into the unsuspecting Lily's robes.
"Did you hear that?" Sirius hissed, his eyes narrowing. Peter Pettigrew, the boy who always seemed to follow them, spoke up.
"I think I saw that Slytherin, Severus Snape, rushing off just then!" he whispered urgently.
James and Sirius were instantly on their guard. They had seen Snape on more than one occasion, mouthing off to Muggle-borns and sucking up to the biggest bully of all, Demetrius Avery. If he had been lurking around the Greenhouse when it wasn't even his own lesson, something had to be going on...
"What is that smell?" Lily asked, turning around with wrinkled-up nose.
"I dunno, but it's coming from the back..." Andromeda said, throwing Sirius a suspicious look.
Gradually more and more students caught onto the vague smell of rotting eggs, and turned away from Proffesor Vines to investigate.
"It's disgusting... What is it?" Florence asked, gagging. Her friend Doris responded in a voice that was muffled, because she was covering her face with her hands.
"Watch! The anther is completely sober! Who knows wh-?" Professor Vines was interrupted by Hestia Jones, who had vomited on her shoes. Apparently the mixture of the strong smell and the slimy anther in her hands was too much for her.
"Open the door!" Professor Vines called, trying not to be sick herself.
James and Sirius started banging on the glass door of the Greenhouse, but it wouldn't budge. Suddenly Peter held up the black shell of a very familiar item.
"Dungbombs!" James said, through gritted teeth. He would kill that Severus Snape...
"Move aside!" Lily called, pulling out her wand.
The other students backed away, all of them hiding half of their faces under their robes. The smell was so strong that it penetrated even through the fabric, and it mixed with Hestia's vomit to create something
"Alohomora!" Lily cried, and they all let out sighs of relief when the door swung forwards.
There was a sudden stampede of students fighting each other to get out first, and James pulled Lily back when the bulky Prewett brothers threatened to run her over. Once they were outside, gasping for air, he swore to himself that the Slytherins would pay. And so began the Marauder's time of trouble-making...
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