Muggles are so damn easy to fool. I don’t know why I grew up being scared about them figuring out that I was a witch. My parents always told me “Vicelia, you have to be careful around muggles, they could hurt you”.
Please. They’re not nearly smart enough to hurt me. They’re stupid actually. I spend a lot of time around muggles even though I find them annoying. They unfortunately fund my current lifestyle. See, I steal from them and then sell their belongings to wizards. You’d be surprised how many wizards are into muggle paraphernalia.
All it takes is finding the right muggle.
See there’s different kinds of muggles. Muggles who are lonely, muggles who are too busy, muggles who are absolutely oblivious and muggles who desperately like to be needed. Two of these kind make the best targets.
Lonely and busy muggles are no good. Lonely ones means they like to talk and that runs the risk of exposure and the busy ones don’t even notice you, so they’re useless at best.
However, the absolutely oblivious and the ones who desperately like to be needed are perfect for what I do. I have a ninety-nine percent success rate with them. It should be one hundred, but hey, even I’m not perfect.
I surveyed the streets carefully, looking for my next victim. A man with a suitcase. No he’s a busy muggle. Let’s see...ooh an old woman walking a small dog. Nah, she looks kind of lonely. Ooh. A bloke around my age with a messenger bag. There must be a lot in there. And he seems like the type to want to save someone.
I waited for him to get close enough and then collapsed in front of him.
“Ma’am!” He exclaimed. “Are you alright?”
I squinted my eyes and saw him take his messenger bag off and kneel down next to me. I closed my eyes as he lifted me up and checked my pulse to see if I’m still breathing.
“Do CPR on her!” Someone called.
He lowered me to the ground again and put his lips on mind and blew in my mouth. Ooh minty.
“Try chest compressions!”
Oh no! My eyes fluttered open. “What...what happened?” I whispered.
“Oh that’s so embarrassing!” I laughed as he helped me up. My eyes were on his bag. “Did you save my life?”
He smiled shyly. “I mean, I don’t know if I saved your life, but I helped.”
“No you saved my life!” I hugged him tightly. “Did you guys hear that, he saved my life!”
“Yeah, I saw that!”
“I got it on my phone!”
“Someone take his picture!
“Yes, take his picture, he’s a hero!” I said, letting everyone crowd around him.
I bent down and picked up his bag. I quickly walked away. By the time I reached the brick wall to get to Diagon Alley I could hear my savior call “Has anyone seen my bag?”
I chuckled to myself as I tapped the bricks. That poor boy. He was never going to see this bag again. Hope he doesn’t have anything too important in it.
I love Diagon Alley. It is so busy and fun and there seems like a million things are going on. I was shocked to see another shop had come up. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Where do I know that name from? Maybe I dated Weasley once or something. Who can even keep up with last names?
Maybe I’d stop by later. It was bright and looked like a lot of fun.
Where Diagon Alley becomes Knockturn Alley, the whole mood changes. Things go from bustling and bright to shady and skeezy. Still I like it. The thought of going somewhere I shouldn’t be was exciting to me.
I used to be scared walking through Knockturn Alley but not anymore. I know my way around now and no one messes with me. I just put on my bitchiest face and glare at anyone who dares make eye contact with me.
I pushed the door open to my favorite pub The White Wyvern. I went to the bar. “Hey Bones, can I have a single malt whiskey?”
“Anyone ever tell you that you drink like a forty year old man?” Bones chuckled.
“No but I’ve slept with one.” I grinned as he poured my drink. “Is Lucian here?”
“In the back. You’re not up to anything bad are you?”
“Oh never! I’m completely innocent.”
He slid my drink over to me. “You and innocent have never gone in the same sentence.”
I made a face at him and headed to the back. There was Lucian Dole at a table in the back. A smile came across his face when he saw me. Lucian might be the skeeziest guy I went to school with. And he was definitely one of the best looking.
He had messy dark hair and stunning hazel eyes and a killer smile. I used to have the biggest crush on him when we attended Hogwarts. He was just so cool. He was Captain of the Quidditch Team, popular, and people did whatever he wanted them to. He was powerful.
I sat down across from him. “Hi Luci.”
“Don’t call me Vicelia.” I snapped.
“Don’t call me Luci.”
“Fine, lets try this again. Hello Lucian.”
“Hello Vice.” He smiled. “What do you have for me?”
“I have no idea, but I think it’s good.” I passed him the messenger bag. “Feels heavy so there’s gotta be something good.”
Lucian opened the bag and rifled through it. He pulled out something rectangular. It opened and there were buttons with letters and numbers.
“What the hell is that?” I asked.
“I have no idea.” Lucian moved it around and pressed a button on the side. The half that didn't’ have the buttons lit up. It was like there was a picture inside of it. It was a picture of the sunset. Muggle items are so strange!
“Well I think we’ll get a lot for this.” Lucian stated, smiling. “The rest of this will be good too, but this will be the winner. Good job, Vice.”
“All I had to do was collapse.” I giggled. “Now finish your drink and let's get this sold. If you’re lucky I’ll let you shag me after.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it.”
I’m always surprised by who wants to buy stolen muggle items from us. Today it’s someone we used to go to school with. Some spoiled brat by the name of Draco Malfoy. I’m mostly surprised cuz the kid was always talking about how he hated muggles. I guess animosity leads to curiosity or something.
“What the hell does this do?” He asked.
“How are we supposed to know?” Lucian asked. “Isn’t the whole point to discover what it is yourself?”
“There’s no reason for an attitude.”
“Malfoy do you want it or not?”
“I’m not so sure anymore.” Draco frowned.
“Don’t listen to Lucian.” I stated. “This is prime muggle technology here. You see the buttons? Something pretty amazing happens with each different button. And you wanna see a picture in color that doesn’t move? There’s a button for that. And look at all these holes. Imagine what you could...I don’t know, stick in them.”
Draco surveyed the rectangle carefully. “I have never seen anything like this before.”
“It’s a rarity.” I assured him. “And it’s kind of heavy. It’ll at least be good for throwing at someone, right?”
His face lit up. “How much for it?”
“Two hundred.” Draco looked as though that wasn’t much.
“And fifty.” I added in. “Two hundred and fifty Galleons, dear.” I smiled. “Since it’s so rare. I’ll even throw in this thing.” I think it’s a pen, but I can’t be entirely sure. Apparently muggles write with it without having to dip it in ink.
He thought it over. “Yeah okay.” He counted the money and handed the pouch to me. “I hope you will remain discreet. I can’t have my parents find out that I’m buying these kinds of things.”
“Of course.” Lucian grinned. “Pleasure doing business with you.” They shook hands and Draco walked off, looking excited for his new toy.
“That went well.” I smiled.
“Because of you.” Lucian kissed me hard. “As usual you came through.”
“One of us has to be the brains.”
“And what does that make me?”
“The looks.” I grinned. “Though I guess I handle that too. What are you good for again Lucian?”
“Let’s go to your place and I’ll show you.”
Yeah I guess Lucian is pretty good for sex. He’s wild and crazy and to him every surface needs to be used. I like the unpredictability he brings to the bedroom. I never know where the hell we’ll end up. This time it’s on my bedroom floor next to the door.
“You have something against beds?” I asked, trying to catch my breath.
“They’re boring.” He laughed.
“Yes, but they don’t give me rug burn.” I pointed out.
“That’s part of the fun.” He kissed me again.
A scream erupted from the living room. “Vice!”
“I think she may have fallen through the chair.” I laughed, pushing Lucian off of me.
We got dress and went out to the living room. My roommate Megan did not look impressed with my chair prank.
“I think I may have broken my tailbone.” She shook her head. “When are you going to stop all the pranks?”
“When I’m dead.”
“Well, I hope that comes soon.”
“Ouch, Meggie that hurts.”
“You’ll recover.” She smiled before frowning. “Oh Lucian you’re here. Does that mean you two have pulled off yet another scheme?”
“Can’t think of what you mean, Megan.” Lucian smiled. “We’ve just been making hot passionate love all day. Nothing else.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah I’m sure. Do you happen to have your half of the rent Vice?”
“I do!” I smiled happily, running back to my room. I made sure Lucian didn’t follow me before taking out my secret money stash. I got the rent money and put the stash back. “Here you go love.”
“Thank you. You’re coming Matty’s party tonight right?”
“I’ll be late. I have to go home and have dinner with my parents, but yes I’ll be there. Don’t take shots without me.”
“Oh never. Are you coming alone?” Megan sneered in Lucian’s direction.
“No, she’s not.” Lucian grinned before sticking his tongue down my throat.
“When are you going to dump him?”
“I can’t dump him cuz we’re not dating.” I shrugged. “But I’ll get bored of him eventually I’m sure.”
“Yes we are dating!” Lucian protested.
“Says you. I have to go change.”
“Vicelia!” He whined as I shut the door. Ugh I hate when he gets like this.
I changed into a dress I know my Mum will hate but that would look amazing in a party setting, slapped on some lipstick and tossed my curly black hair up in a ponytail. I dipped back in my money stash and then I was ready for dinner for my parents.
Even though Lucian isn’t my boyfriend I kind of pretend he is when it comes to my parents. It makes them think I have one stable thing going on in my life since I don’t have a job or any kind of career goals.
“Vicelia!” Mum smiled happily before hugging me tightly. “Honey, that dress is very short.”
“I know, we’re going to a party after this.”
“Well don’t bend over, you might give everyone a free show!”
I rolled my eyes as Dad hugged me. “I think you look nice.”
“Thanks Daddy.” I smiled.
“Lucian, you look so handsome!” Mum gushed. Sometimes I swear she wishes she was me so that she could bang him.
I went to the dining room to greet my siblings. I was very different from my siblings. They were all driven and focused and knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives. I was wild and unpredictable and didn’t look forward to working for the rest of my life. Our differences may also have to do with me being adopted.
“Vice!” They chorused happily. Although we’re different, we get along pretty well.
“Hey guys.” I grinned.
“Wow can that dress get any shorter?” My sister Cece asked.
“Yes, yes it could.”
“Is Lucian here too?” Charlie questioned.
“What, I’m not good enough?” I questioned. “Yeah he’s here.”
“Hand it over, Charlie!” Chris laughed. “I told you she didn’t dump him yet.”
“Are you making bets on me again?” I questioned.
“Yes.” Chris smiled. “It’s the way I make a little money on the side. You know without lifting from muggles.”
“Shh! Don’t let Mum and Dad hear. I’m already enough of a disappointment.”
“Please, they love you Vice.” Cece assured me. “They just want you to do something other than Lucian.”
“But he’s so easy to do.” I smirked as he entered the room.
“Hey guys.” He said, taking his seat next to me.
“Hey Lucian.” They chorused.
Mum and Dad joined us a few moments later and we started eating. “So what has everyone been up to?”
“Nothing much.” Charlie answered. “Things have actually been quite boring at the Ministry.”
“Really? Things have been insane at Gringotts.” Cece shook her head. “I don’t know why there’s so much going on.”
“Working on a new broom.” Chris smiled. “The kids are going to lose their minds with this new model.”
“Well isn’t that nice?” Mum smiled. “It must be nice to have a job where you can use your hands.”
“I use my hands plenty.” I pointed out.
“She’s not talking about hand jobs, Vice.” Cece snickered.
“Didn’t you shag the whole Quidditch Team?” I questioned.
“Must have been before I got on the team.” Lucian said thoughtfully.
“So what have you been up to Vicelia?” Dad asked.
“I have a few different business ventures right now. I can’t say much on them right now, but when they’re more solid, I’ll let you guys know more about it.”
“You don’t need money right?” Mum questioned.
“No, Mum. I’m fine. I swear. I’m taken care of.”
“Good, so when are you and Lucian becoming more serious?”
“Meaning?” Lucian asked.
“Moving in together? Getting engaged.”
“Let’s slow that down!” I laughed nervously. “We’re fine where we’re at.”
“I don’t know, Vice. It would be kind of nice to live together.” Lucian smiled.
“Shut your mouth. Mum, if Lucian and I ever get there, it will not be anytime soon.”
Dad sighed. “We just want you to be stable, Vicelia.”
“I know and I will be. I don’t need a man for that.” I assured him.
The rest of dinner goes on without any more mentions of me and Lucian getting engaged. Before I leave my siblings ask to speak with me away from our parents.
“So, Mum and Dad’s anniversary is in six months.” Charlie stated.
“Are we throwing them a party?” I asked.
“Yes, but you know that house they’ve always wanted? That blue one fifteen minutes away?” Cece asked. I nodded. “We want to buy that house for them.”
“Well how much is it?”
“Sixteen thousand Galleons.” Chris responded.
“Holy shit, that’s kind of a lot.”
“That’s why we figured we’d split it.” Cece said. “Four thousand Galleons each.”
“Wow, um okay. That’s a-a lot but I can do that...I think.”
“Look we know you don’t exactly get steady money, so if you can’t do it that’s fine we’ll handle it.” Charlie said.
“No! No, I can get the money together. I’ll um..” I sighed. “I’ll get a job.”
They looked at me in shock. “Are you sure?” Chris asked. “You don’t like work.”
“I don’t, but Mum and Dad have done so much for me. I feel like I owe them. I want to be able to say that I helped with this, so I’ll get a job and do my part.”
“Okay, great. Well you got six months.” Cece smiled. “You got this Vice.”
“Yeah I do.”
“I can’t get a job!” I exclaimed before taking a shot. “I mean me? A job?”
“Doesn’t sound like something plausible at all.” Megan laughed.
“Have you even ever had a job?” Matty questioned, wrapping his arm around Megan’s waist.
“No. What do you even do there?”
“A lot of the time it’s doing what someone else tells you to.” Lucian informed me. “Babe don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for it.”
“Absolutely not.” I shook my head.
“Because then I’d have to marry you and I don’t want that.”
“You will eventually.”
“Look Vice, just get a job somewhere fun.” Megan shrugged. “That way it’ll barely feel like work.”
“That’s not a bad idea. But I don’t know any fun places.” I whined.
“You’ll find one, babe.” Lucian said. “If there’s one thing Vicelia Richardson can find, it’s fun.”
I must have found way too much fun last night. My head is pounding and I feel like crap. But I’m glad that I woke up in bed after the insane romp Lucian and I had last night. He’s snoring loudly.
I shoved him. “Quit snoring.” I sat up and sighed. The job search starts today.
I don’t know exactly where to start, but I know I need some coffee. I go to the Leaky Cauldron. As I’m walking to a table with my coffee, someone bumps into me, causing me to spill the coffee all over my good boots.
“What the fuck!”
“Sorry, I’m in a rush.”
“What and my shoes have to suffer for that?” I asked.
He sighed. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Your sorry plus a sickle would get me a piece of candy.”
“You don’t have to be so rude.” He frowned.
“You bumped into me and ruined my shoes. You owe me a coffee.”
He looked down at my cup. “You still have more in there. You’ll be fine. Now I really have to go. I’m late for work.” He ran off.
“Git!” I called. I sat down and drank my coffee. God I hope that piece of shit has a terrible day.
I felt much better after my coffee. I was ready to find a fucking job. I wondered if I should try Knockturn Alley first? Nah, that’ll be a last resort. I don’t need to spend any more time there than I already do.
I walked around Diagon Alley surveying the shops. These were all customer service heavy and me and people don’t exactly get along a lot of the time. My eyes fell on the new shop again. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. That does look like fun.
I walked in. The store was amazing! Toys and gadgets were everywhere. There were also Pygmy Puffs and love potions and even muggle pranks. This place was like Zonko’s but even better. I wish I would have thought of it.
“Hi, welcome in!” I looked over to see a really pretty girl with brown skin like mine and big brown eyes and a great smile.
“Your first time in?” She questioned. I nodded. “Well, once again welcome! I’m Sin. I’m one of the owners.”
“Vice.” I shook her hand. She seemed really warm and nice. I liked her already. “I know this is kind of a long shot but...are you guys hiring by chance.”
Her face lit up. “Are you a Seer?”
“Not that I know.” She showed me what was in her hand. A help wanted sign. “Shit maybe I am. Oh god, sorry, I didn’t mean to say shit. Oh fuck I’ve said it again. I mean-”
“You’re fine!” Sin laughed. “I’m not as much of a lady as I seem. I say shit and fuck.”
“Good to know.” I sighed in relief.
“Are you busy right now? We can do an interview in the office.”
“Yeah, why don’t you meet me in the back? I gotta tell my partners I’ll be away from the front.”
I went to the back, looking around the shop as I did. I was so impressed with this place. And I loved that a woman was so involved with it. That made me want to work here even more. I took the seat across from the desk and waited. The desk had a name plaque: Sinthia Watson.
Huh. I guess her partners are Weasleys then. Now that I think about it I'm sure there were some Weasleys I went to school with. That's why the name seems familiar. I wonder why her last name wasn’t mentioned at all. That seemed pretty unfair. But if she’s fine with it, then that’s that.
“Hello again.” Sin smiled as she sat down in her seat. “So tell me about you. How old are you, where did you go to school?”
“I’m nineteen, went to Hogwarts.”
“No way, so did I. What house?”
“Slytherin.” I smiled.
“Ah, now that makes sense. I was a Gryffindor.” She said. “Well that’s great. Um, why do you want to work here?”
“Honestly it just looks like so much fun. Your shop is bright and beautiful and I can’t help but smile when I’m in here. Sounds like the perfect place to be when I’m not home.”
Sin smiled widely. “That’s why we opened this shop. We wanted to make people laugh and smile. Also we love pranks.”
“Last prank you pulled?”
“Yesterday. Took the bottom off a chair and put a blanket over it. My roommate sat on it and fell through.” I laughed.
“Genius! Now what about the best prank you’ve pulled?”
“Oh that’s easy. Convinced my entire family that I wasn’t going to be able to graduate from Hogwarts because I had failed all of my classes. Forged a letter from Dumbledore and everything. Felt kind of bad because my Mum was in shambles.”
“That’s insane!” Sin giggled. I knew I would like her.
“What about yours?”
“Me and my best friend convinced the whole school that we had fallen in love with each other while we were dating our other best friends. And then we actually did fall in love but then his girlfriend got pregnant, so he got back with her and I dumped my boyfriend and started dating my ex again. Turns out his girlfriend wasn’t pregnant and my boyfriend ended up spiking me with a love potion for a few months. Anyways it worked out. Me and my best friend are engaged now.”
“Oh wow.” I whispered. “That sounds like a complete and total mess. Kind of wished I could have witnessed that.”
“I hear it was fun from the outside.” She chuckled. “Well, um, I feel really good about this, Vice. I think you’d fit in great here.”
“Wait seriously? I um...I have the job?”
“Y-you don’t have to ask your partners?”
“I think they’ll like you just fine.” Sin assured me. “Plus I need another woman around. The testosterone is killing me. Please accept the job.”
“Oh yes! I accept!” Wow who knew getting a job would be so easy! “Can I ask something?”
“Why is it called Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes and your last name is Watson?”
“Oh, remember that best friend I’m engaged to? Him and his brother are the Weasleys in question. And when we get married that’ll be my last name too.”
“Ah, that makes sense.” I nodded. “Well, that was my only question.”
“Well let’s take a tour.” She got up excitedly and pulled me out of the office.
“Oh, Georgie! Come meet our new employee!”
This Georgie person turned around and his eyes widened. Mine did too. It was the guy who spilled coffee on my shoes!
“Oh shit.” I whispered.
“What’s going on?” Another guy approached us. He had the same face as the coffee spiller.
God there’s two of them?!
A/N: It's here, its here!! I'm very excited for this story and all the twists and turns and cliffhangers it will endure! How do we feel about Vice? How in the world will she and George fall in love when they got off on the wrong foot? How will she handle work when she's never done it before? We shall see!!
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