Search Home Read Write Forum Login Register

Jocelyn’s POV

 

I woke up on my wedding day feeling oddly calm. I could hear 2 months old baby Harry crying somewhere in the house, and people shouting instructions. There was also a lot of the peculiar noise House Elves made when they apparated. That morning, I saw in front of the mirror as Lily helped me with my hair and make-up and we both discussed, just as we had done on her wedding day, how much Alice would have loved to be here with us. It broke my heart a little bit, but I had seen far too much death by this point to let it ruin my day.

 

My wedding to Sirius was going to be perfect. We were getting married in my parent’s villa in the south of France with our closest friends and members of the Order.

 

As I walked down the aisle, I thought Sirius looked the most handsome I had ever seen him. I like to think the sparkle I saw on his cheek was a solitary tear.

 

We had agreed that keeping our vows short was the best option. I had insisted on only one sentence, and Sirius had shrugged which I understood to mean ‘whatever you want’. I went first.

 

’Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same’ I vow to love you, Sirius Black, always and forever.”

 

He smiled, and the crowd made an ‘aaaww’ sound. Then, it was his turn.

 

“All I ever wanted out of life was to find the kind of love that consumes you, and I knew I found it the first time I kissed you, Jocelyn. I vow to do my best to give you that same feeling every single day for the rest of my life: a kind of love that is nothing short of epic.”

 

 I didn’t care he’d broken our one sentence rule, or that all our guests were watching, or that there was a war going on and the world was sad and awful, and our friends were in danger. In that one moment, all I cared about was Sirius and how intensely I loved him. I kissed him as we were pronounced husband and wife, I kissed him as people clapped and cheered, and I would have gone on kissing him if not for the horde of Death Eaters that descended upon us that very second.

 

Sirius’ POV

 

It was chaos. One minute I was seriously (ha) considering stealing Jo away from the ceremony and locking ourselves in a room in the house, the next everyone was running for their lives. Jocelyn ripped the skirt of her dress off with a swish of her wand and vaulted from the altar to where James, Lily and Harry were. I put up a shield and looked around for Remus and Peter. Remus was helping people get away, but Peter had disappeared. I had no time to worry about him, though. Jocelyn was fighting with all her might to give Lily and James a chance to escape with Harry.

 

“Quick, this way,” she led them away, casting curses left right and centre. James held Lily with one hand and fought together with Jocelyn with the other, his face a mask of fear for the safety of his wife and his baby. I ran after them, bringing up the rear.

 

As soon as I reached them, Jo shouted at me: “You get them out of here, I’m going to teach Voldemort some wedding day etiquette,” and took off towards the battle again.

 

“I got this, we can apparate from here, go make sure your wife makes it to your wedding night,” Prongs told me. I nodded curtly but stayed until they had left.

 

Anyone else would have been upset that their wedding was crashed by a terrorist and his mob. Not Jocelyn, though. She looked fierce and beautiful, like an avenging angel as she fought Lord Voldemort himself on the altar where we’d got married a few minutes ago. I heard a swoosh behind me and turned to see James coming towards me, wand at the ready and a smirk on his face.

 

“Lily and Harry are safe. Now, let’s go kick some Death Eater ass,” Remus joined us and we charged at them.

 

Time became impossible to track, as it always did during a battle. We could have been fighting for a day, or a week. Once the initial confusion was overcome, it was clear that Voldemort had underestimated the number of people in attendance and, given that most guests were Order members, we were, for once, faring quite well. When Dumbledore arrived, Voldemort got distracted and Jo landed a beautifully aimed curse at him, sending him tumbling backwards. I thought for a fleeting second that this might be the day we took him down. My hopes and dreams were crushed when the Death Eaters closed ranks around him, and they all retreated together.

 

“Oh, for Godric’s sake. I almost had him!” Jo’s enraged voice snapped me out of my own frustration, and I ran towards her.

 

“Are you okay?” I scooped her up in my arms and held her tightly to my chest.

 

“I am pissed off is what I am!” she scoffed, punching my chest with her fists and trying to get away from my embrace.

 

“Hey, that’s no way to talk to your husband,” I said softly. She stopped fighting me immediately and looked up. Her make-up was smeared and her hair was a mess, but I thought she’d never looked more beautiful than when she beamed at me.

 

“We did get married.”

 

“We did.”

 

“And your vow… it was the most perfect thing you could have said,” with her heels on she was almost tall enough to kiss me. I only had to lean forward a little.

 

“Seriously, you guys need to get a grip! I take my eyes off you for a second and you’re snogging again!” James joked, joining us.

 

“My wedding was crashed by a murderous band of Death Eaters. I had to tear my wedding dress to pieces and fight for my life. I am allowed to do whatever the fuck I want for pretty much the rest of my life in compensation for this fiasco,” Jo proclaimed.

 

“I am inclined to agree,” Remus said next to James.

 

“Jocelyn! Report!” I groaned as Moody called her over but didn’t resist when she let go of my hand and went to discuss the attack with him.

 

#

 

We spent our first Christmas as a married couple with Lily, James and Harry. Remus was on assignment again with the werewolf pack and Peter had informed us his mother was unwell and had gone to take care of her. It was meant to be a quiet one, but nothing ever was when James and I got together. Once baby Harry was in bed, what started as a harmless game of explosive snapp accompanied by some whiskey which quickly turned into a hilarious game of charades. Lily and Jocelyn were a very good team, but James was my soul-brother, and we were invincible. Christmas Day found us completely drunk and happy.

 

New Year’s Eve we celebrated with the Order at headquarters. James and Lily stayed home with Harry this time, so it wasn’t as much fun. At around three in the morning, I flew Jo home on our bike, despite her protests that drinking and flying as just as bad an idea as drinking and driving.

 

“It is so weird to think how much our lives have changed in the past four years,” she said, walking into our kitchen.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Remember that Crystal Ball my parents hosted in sixth year at Hogwarts?” her voice had a dreamy tone to it now, like it always did when she got melancholic.

 

“I do. You looked so hot I have no idea how I let James make his move,” I told her.

 

“I thought you looked very handsome, too,” she said, smiling at me.

 

“I remember you walked down those stairs and I thought ‘woah’,” I pulled her in towards me and whispered in her ear. “You were wearing a dress that looked as if it had been made with the night sky, quite literally. It was the exact same colour of the night sky, that indigo blue which is almost black, but not quite. It had tiny crystals embedded in it, reminding me of blinking starts. Your hair was pulled back in some sort of complicated do and adorned with the same crystals on your dress. You were a vision.”

 

“You know, you can be a real romantic when you want to be,” she said right before kissing me.

 

“Let me show you how romantic I can be,” and with that I lifted her up and carried her to my favourite place in the entire house: our bed.

 

Jocelyn’s POV

 

The year 1981 was the worst of my life. I saw Sirius once or twice a month if we were lucky, and I barely ever saw Lily and James at all because they were in hiding and Voldemort had put a price on my head. Literally. One thousand galleons. I was offended, I was sure I was worth at least double that. If I found him, I would have words.

 

I was constantly angry. No matter how hard we worked, what we did, he always seemed to be a step ahead. I was also constantly terrified. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and the only other unregistered animagus (Peter didn’t really count; he wasn’t really cut for field missions) whose form wasn’t conspicuous. So, every reconnaissance mission was a coin-toss between him and I. As much as I tried to volunteer for every single one, he did the same for me. It was maddening.

 

We started suspecting there was a spy in the Order as the spring came to a close. We set up small traps and code words, but they were too smart. Not only was this a problem for the obvious reason: that Lord Voldemort always anticipated us; but it was also breaking us apart. For the first time ever, Order members were suspicious of each other.

 

“I can’t take this shit anymore,” I sighed, plopping on the sofa, dirty clothes and all.

 

“I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up,” Sirius said waving a letter in front of me.

 

“Is it from Lily?”

 

“It is,” he gave it to me.

 

Dear Padfoot and Jo,

 

Thank you, thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! It was his favourite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, he looked so pleased with himself, I’m enclosing a picture so you can see. You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there). Of course, James thought it was so funny, says he’s going to be a great Quidditch player, but we’ve had to pack away all the ornaments and make sure we don’t take our eyes off him when he gets going.

We had a very quiet birthday tea, just us and old Bathilda, who has always been sweet to us and who dotes on Harry. We were so sorry you couldn’t come, but the Order’s got to come first and Harry’s not old enough to know it’s his birthday any- way! James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell – also, Dumbledore’s still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much. Wormy was here last weekend, I thought he seemed down, but that was probably the news about the McKinnons; I cried all evening when I heard.

 

Bathilda drops in most days, she’s a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore, I’m not sure he’d be pleased if he knew! I don’t know how much to believe, actually, because it seems incredible that Dumbledore...

 

I lifted my eyes of the paper and laughed out loud.

 

“I’m sure Albus won’t be pleased when he finds out Bathilda is telling everyone about his exploits in Paris,” I said. “I do feel better, thanks”

 

“I think we should go see them this weekend. Let’s, for once, not volunteer. We deserve it. We haven’t taken a single day off since our wedding,” he said, sitting on the sofa next to me.

 

“You know what? I agree. Let’s spend the entire weekend with them. It’ll make Prongs so happy and I miss Lily so much,” I snuggled up closer to him.

 

“I love you more than anything in this world, but you, my lovely, need a shower,” he said, wrinkling his nose. I laughed and walked away from him, turning only when I was at the door.

 

“Join me?”

 

He was at the bathroom before I could finish my sentence.

 

Later that night we replied to Lily and told her we were coming to see them. Then, I sent my patronus to Moody and informed him as well. He wasn’t happy but he only complained three times. That, coming from Alastor, was practically a blessing to go.

 

Godric’s Hollow was a small community. Sirius and I arrived at the village square and my first thought was that the church was pretty. In under twenty minutes, we’d covered the entire area. There was only a post office, a pub, and a few retail shops. The Potters’ house was a cute cottage with a tidy garden. I imagined Lily had a lot of time for gardening these days.

 

“I thought you’d never get here!” James opened the door so enthusiastically I was astonished it didn’t come off its hinges.

 

“And I brought you this,” said Sirius shaking the bottle of whiskey he’d got his friend in the air.

 

“This is why you are my soulmate,” Prongs hugged him. I squeezed past them into the house and found Lily with Harry on her hip.

 

“Hello little one! You’ve grown so much,” I put my arms out and Harry launched forwards. I caught him with ease and went to sit on the sofa with my favourite kid in the world. Lily sat next to me.

 

“Do you think they’ll remember we’re here?” she asked me.

 

“Not for a while. Sometimes I think they should have married each other, you know?” I joked. Then, I blew raspberries at Harry who found it hilarious and started giggling. “He’s so cute Lily. All the girls at Hogwarts are going to swoon when he gets there.”

 

“Sounds like someone we know,” she winked at me and we laughed together.

 

“How have you been?” I asked her.

 

“Bored. I mean, I know it’s necessary and I’m not complaining, but we can’t even leave the house for more than half an hour. I miss having fun with you guys.”

 

“It’ll blow over soon, you’ll see. He’ll make a mistake and I’ll kill him,” I said fiercely.

 

“You need to stop saying that. It scares me. You can’t go after him on your own. Promise me you won’t,” Lily’s green eyes were impossible to hide from.

 

“If I get the chance, Lils, I won’t hesitate. If it comes down to it, I’d rather die and take him out with me than let him get to you.”

 

“He won’t. He won’t get to us, Jo. Dumbledore agreed to the Fidelius Charm, it will keep us safe.”

 

“Will he be your Secret Keeper?”

 

“No, James won’t accept anyone other than Sirius,” I nodded.

 

“And he is right. I trust Dumbledore with my life, but it’ll mean a lot to Sirius to keep you guys safe. He’ll be able to sleep at night knowing he is in charge,” I said. She smiled and looked towards the kitchen, where we could hear them laughing and chatting loudly.

 

Harry, upset that he was no longer the centre of attention, headbutted my chin that moment and grabbed at my earring with his hand.

 

“You, little one, are going down!” if you’ve never tickled a baby, you don’t know what you’re missing. His laughter was so pure and clear, uninhibited and unafraid that I was very jealous. I thought I’d do anything to make sure Harry Potter stayed this free and happy forever.

 

James’ POV

 

Dumbledore had still not given the cloak back, and I was annoyed. We’d been holed up in this place for far too long. I wanted to be out there fighting, making this world a better place. I wanted to feel like I was doing something other than hiding like a coward. Then, Harry made a funny noise and I forgot to be angry. I looked at Lily, sat on the floor watching Harry walk around with his wobbly little legs, and knew that I’d do anything to keep them safe. Even if it meant staying in this cottage forever. Sirius was coming over later today to perform the Fidelius Charm and, despite the dire circumstances, I was excited to see him. 

 

However, he didn’t arrive alone. I rushed to the door to greet my friends and let Lily know that both Padfoot and Wormtail had arrived.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you Pete,” I said, letting them both in.

 

“I know, but hear me out,” Sirius began. “Voldemort will go after me. He’ll expect me to be the keeper. He’s already after Jo anyway. So, I’ve been thinking you should make Pete your keeper instead – in secret. Don’t tell anyone, not even Dumbledore. I’ll buy you guys time to regroup, perhaps find a way to bring him down,” he said.

 

“What?” I knew why he had brought Peter. There was no way I could refuse without hurting Peter’s feelings, and Sirius knew I hated hurting my friends.

 

“He won’t expect it.”

 

“But…”

 

“No buts. We know there’s a traitor in the Order, and even though I have my suspicions, I can’t prove anything. No one can know,” he insisted. “Promise me, James. I’ll go out there and keep him busy. Don’t tell anyone.”

 

And so it was settled, and we made Peter our Secret Keeper. They stayed for dinner, but Peter left before it got too dark. He had to make it all the way back to London on his own. Sirius, who’d brought him here, was on the way to Liverpool to get Jo. He stayed for a bit longer, and we shared a drink and a laugh, but it wasn’t like old times. I knew who he thought was the traitor, and no matter how many times I told him our friend would never betray us, the shadow of doubt was always in his mind. What I never told him was that Remus had on occasion voiced his worry that Sirius might be the spy. I wanted to smack them in the head so badly. This war had made everyone so paranoid even marauders were doubting each other. If only it would end soon, I thought.

 

#

 

We had decided to get an early night because we hadn’t got much sleep the past two days. Jocelyn had been on a mission in Ireland and all communication had been lost until today. Lily was so relieved to hear she was okay she had cried for an hour. I took Harry in my arms ignoring Lily’s protests that I was winding him up right before bedtime and threw him up in the air.

 

“You just love being up there, don’t you, little buddy? You’re going to be the best Seeker Gryffindor ever had,” I told him. Lily chuckled.

 

“Come on, let’s put him to bed,” she said.

 

I heard a noise outside, like footsteps and thought it was odd. It was a busy night, as was Halloween, but our house was so warded nobody walked close enough for us to hear. I almost dismissed it, but then I heard the door. And I knew. 

 

Lily’s eyes went wide with fear and my blood ran cold.

 

“Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off,” as I burst through the nursery door and ran down the stairs, cursing our bad luck at leaving the wands on the living room sofa, my last thought wasn’t of Peter, who had obviously betrayed us. It wasn’t about Sirius, my brother who I would never see again. It wasn’t about Jo, our bravest soldier who would hate herself forever for failing to kill him before he got to us. No, in those final moments, before I came face to face with Lord Voldemort and he lifted his wand, before the green light that marked the end of me hit home, all I could think about was that I should have given Lily one last kiss.

Jocelyn’s POV

 

The house was dark and empty. I stepped on the gravel around our black rose garden and felt, deep inside, that something was wrong. I quickly scanned the windows, a feeling of foreboding growing inside me. Thinking I was probably being paranoid, I left without walking into our house and apparated at headquarters instead. Pushing the door open, I walked in to find the strangest mix of grief and celebration. I searched the faces but I couldn’t find who I was looking for.

 

“Jocelyn, you’re back,” Moody reached my side and I saw Remus running towards me from the other side of the entrance corridor.

 

“I just got here. Where is Sirius?”

 

“Jocelyn! Why didn’t you go home?”

 

“How do you know I didn’t go home, Remus?” my wand was out of my pocket and on my hand in an instant. I switched my stance and took a few steps back. I was almost at the door.

 

“Everybody calm down. Jocelyn was in Ireland until an hour ago, Derek has confirmed it,” Moody said, giving Remus a pointed look.

 

“What is going on? Where is Sirius, Alastor?”

 

“He’s in custody,” fire spread through my veins, fueling ire like I had never felt before.

 

“What is wrong with you?” I shouted. I noticed the looks people were giving me, a mix of fear and doubt. I was a highly trained soldier, I recognized a hostile environment when I saw one.

 

“James and Lily are dead.”

 

No.

No.

 

My wand clattered as it fell on the floor and I burst my kneecaps open by landing on them a second later. I couldn’t breathe.

 

“I am sorry,” Remus said, taking a step forward.

 

“HOW? I don’t believe you!” I pushed him away, shouting at him through my tears.

 

“Voldemort went to Godric’s Hollow. All we know is he killed James, then Lily. But his curse bounced off Harry. Harry is alive, and Voldemort is gone, Jo. He’s gone,” Remus explained.

 

I realised in that moment that I didn’t care. I didn’t have it in me to feel happy or relieved that he was gone. It didn’t make sense.

 

“It doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Sirius sold them out,” someone said. That broke through my haze, making me angry again. I felt the spark inside me and decided I’d rather feel ire and grief, so I fuelled it.

 

“He did not,” I stood slowly, gripping my wand again. I stood there, facing the Order of Phoenix, and knew that if I had to fight every single one of them to get to Sirius, I would.

 

“He was their Secret Keeper, Jo. He’s the only one that could. Peter went after him. He’s gone, too.”

 

“Peter went after Sirius? And you see nothing wrong with that statement? What planet do you live in, Remus? Peter could not go after Sirius; Peter is too much of a coward to even think of going after Sirius,” I yelled at him.

 

“We found Sirius; he was laughing. He had just killed twelve muggles and Peter, and he was laughing.”

 

“Sirius did not betray James and Lily,” I said again, setting my face.

 

“Careful, Jocelyn,” Moody had fought beside me enough times to know when I got my game face on. He pulled out his wand.

 

“I do not want to fight you, Alastor. I do not want to fight any of you. But Godric help me, I will.”

 

“We know this is hard to accept, but nobody doubts that you’re with us. Sirius had everyone fooled, even James,” Remus said.

 

“SIRIUS BLACK WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BETRAY HIS FRIENDS AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT,” I snapped. I cast a blasting curse their way to buy some time and bolted out of the door.

 

In dog form, they couldn’t catch up to me, so I ran. I ran, and ran, and ran until my legs wouldn’t carry me a metre further. I turned back into human and spilled my guts on the pavement of some street in London. I couldn’t think straight. James and Lily were gone. The agony of that thought was too much to bear, so I focused on Sirius instead. Sirius, who I was sure was innocent. I realised quickly that he was going to be sent to Azkaban, or worse, given a Dementor’s kiss.

 

I stood up and apparated outside the entrance to the Ministry of Magic. It was 2 am on the 3rd of November 1981. I fleetingly remembered that it was Sirius’ 22nd birthday. I went in through the muggle entrance. It was quiet and deserted bar for the aurors on patrol. Luckily for me, over half of them knew me as Alastor Moody’s right hand. I walked straight up to the first familiar face I saw and, once recovered from shock, explained I’d just come back from Ireland and been filled in on the events that had transpired.

 

“I want to look in the eyes of the man that killed my best friend,” I told him, infusing my voice with all the coldness and hatred of my heart.

 

“This way, Mrs Silverway,” I never thought that Sirius’ refusal to let me change my name to Black would ever come in handy, but here I was. It was easier to keep myself separated from him in this auror’s mind because I didn’t share his name.

 

He took me to a cell deep down in the bowels of the Ministry. Sirius was curled up in a ball in the farthest corner of the dark cell he was in. I couldn’t see his face but I could hear him weeping. He had given himself over to his grief with such abandon I wondered how anyone could doubt that he loved James more than he loved himself.

 

“Leave us.”

 

“I’m not sure…”

 

“This man was my husband, and he killed the woman I called sister. If you understand the magnitude of his betrayal, you’ll give me a few minutes alone with him,” out of the corner of my eyes I saw Sirius’ head snap up at the sound of my voice.

 

“Five minutes,” the auror muttered. I nodded curtly and he left.

 

“Sirius,” I knelt down against the bars. Unlike Azkaban, this cell had bars because there we no Dementors in the Ministry.

 

He didn’t reply. He didn’t move.

 

“Sirius, we don’t have time for this,” I hissed.

 

“Jo?”

 

“Of course it’s me, who else? Sirius, for Godric’s sake, I need you to find some strength somewhere deep inside you and help me.”

 

“I don’t…”

 

“Fine, I’m getting you out of here with, or without your help,” I said. I’d began casting silencing spells nonverbally the minute we’d walked in with the other auror. By my count, I had four minutes left before he came back.

 

I blasted the door to his cell open and rushed to his side. To my relief, he was coming to his senses and tried to stand. He was a bit wobbly, but we’d make it.

 

“I am going to create a distraction. You and I are going to run out of here together and wag our tails while we do it,” I told him. He didn’t smile, but he had stopped crying, so I was satisfied.

 

I blasted an entire wall apart on the other side of the Ministry. The alarm started blaring and all aurors on patrol descended on the area. I casted some curses with a delay spell so they’d set off at different times, creating the illusion of various opponents.

 

“Now!”

 

I was so happy and relieved when Sirius transformed into a dog that I almost passed out from the sheer intensity of it. I followed suit and keeping to the shadows we ran all the way to the elevators. I didn’t realise how little faith I’d had in my own plan until we were out on the streets of London. I couldn’t believe we had made it.

 

We kept running together, putting as much distance as we could between us and the Ministry. I was under no illusions that everyone would realise pretty quickly what had happened. We ran until dawn found us in the middle of a forest somewhere north west of London. Exhausted, we fell asleep together under a big tree.

 

We travelled like this for six days, running across country and not changing back to human form once. I had never spent this much time in my animagus shape before.

 

We dared change back when we reached Inverness. It was late afternoon on the 9th of November. We found a small bed and breakfast ran by a muggle family and rented a room. We collapsed on the bed with our dirty clothes on and our arms around each other.

 

I didn’t know how long I had slept for, but it was either still dark, or dark again. Sirius was sat on a chair facing the window, looking outside. He was very still. I watched him for a while. It was the first time in all these years that I didn’t know how to behave around him.

 

“I’d like it if you sat with me,” as if reading my thoughts, he spoke.

 

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me close,” I said, walking over to him. I sat on his lap and he gathered me to his chest.

 

“I always want you close. You are the only one that can make it better,” he said, his voice breaking at the end.

 

“I am sorry.”

 

“I am sorry, too,” we stayed like that, in silence, for a long time. Eventually, I looked into his eyes, shimmering with tears.

 

“I have to ask, Sirius. I know you didn’t betray them, but I don’t understand what happened,” I whispered. “Did the charm not work?”

 

He shook his head, tears spilling down his face again. “I might as well have killed them, Jocelyn. It was my idea. I told James to use Peter instead.”

 

“Peter? Use him for what?”

 

“They made him Secret Keeper,” he said. Realisation dawned on me and I felt it pull at my stomach, and bring it into my chest, but I refused to be sick. I fought it, I fought it with all I had until my face was a mask of anger and my body was taut like a bowstring.

 

“Tell me he’s dead, Sirius.”

 

“I am not sure. He might be.”

“They’re gone, Sirius,” I looked and felt quite deranged but I didn’t care, I was past caring. “They are gone, and we are not. It shouldn’t be this way.”

 

“I know,” he tried to hug me but I recoiled and stood up.

 

“Lily and James are dead,” I whispered to the night. “Peter killed them.”

 

“He’s gone too, if he’s not dead he knows he’s got to hide for the rest of his life. If he’s out there, he’ll never come back.”

 

 “That’s not good enough,” I said.

 

I started pacing. It all made sense now. I knew Sirius so well, so intimately, I understood what he’d been thinking. What he’d been planning.

 

“You were going to be live bait for Lord Voldemort,” I stopped and stared at him, hard. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

 

“What else was I to do? How else was I to help them?” he’d stood up too now, and was trembling slightly. “He was my brother, Jocelyn!” he raised his voice a little bit and I lost it.

 

 “What about me, Sirius? WHAT ABOUT ME? Did you not think what would have happened to me if I lost you? If he got them and you? Or even if he got you? WHAT ABOUT ME? I cannot live without you! Have you not realised it yet? I bust you out of the fucking Ministry of Magic! I was ready to face down the entire fucking Order of Phoenix for you! I would have died in that cell with you rather than leave you behind! And you… you were prepared to give yourself up and leave me.”

 

I was crying, I was breaking, I was so, so sad and angry and I didn’t know what to do with any of it. Lily was gone, my best friend, just like Alice. I was alone, I was the last of them and I didn’t deserve to be. It should have been them, with their laughter and their brightness and their good nature. 

 

“I was going to ask you to come with me,” Sirius had somehow made his over to me and was standing close, whispering. “I was going to ask you to come with me and lead him away. I knew we could take him, you and I. Together.”

 

He kissed me, hard. I kissed him back with everything I had left. I poured all my rage, my grief, my despair. I kissed him as if he could kiss away the darkness that was growing in my heart, as if he could turn back time with every stroke of his tongue, every touch of his lips. We didn’t even make it to the bed. We fell on the floor, on our knees and then on our backs. We fell, together, because the world had defeated us and taken away everything and everyone we cared for in one way or another. He peeled my clothes off me and with every inch of skin he exposed he consumed me a little more. There was nothing in the world left for me, nothing at all but him. He was my everything, and I was his. We clawed at each other violently, eagerly, as if the other was the first drop of water after a journey through the desert.

 

That night, on the floor of a small, forgotten bed and breakfast in Inverness, we made love like the world was ending. When dawn broke, the sunlight found us asleep tangled up in each other, holding on for dear life.

 

“I love you,” he whispered when I woke up.

 

“And I love you,” I said, running a hand through his messy and dirty hair. It didn’t bother me.

 

“You know, you are probably now as much a fugitive as I am,” he said.

 

“Please, if I am not at least a point above you on the criminal scale I’ll be offended,” I joked. We didn’t laugh, but exchanged an amused look. For now, that was enough.

“We should go, we have to keep moving,” he said. I nodded.

 

#

 

“What now?” he asked me when we walked out of the little place a few hours later.

 

“Now, you make good on your promise,” I said, looking at him. “Now, we flee, together. And we stay together.”

 

“What about Harry? I am his godfather,” his eyes were so sad.

 

“We’ll bid our time. Pettigrew will make a mistake, eventually, and we’ll come for him. We’ll come at him with everything we’ve got, Sirius.”

 

“Promise me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Promise me we’ll get him, Jo. No matter how long it takes, we’ll make Peter pay for what he did to Prongs and Red.”

 

“Oh, trust me, Sirius. Our vengeance will be nothing short of epic.”

 

The End.

 

#

 

Author's note: I know I said I'd keep this canon but I couldn't bring myself to kill off Jo and send Sirius to Azkaban. So... forgive me? :)

Track This Story: Feed


Write a Review

out of 10

JOIN HARRY POTTER FANFICTION


Get access to every new feature the moment it comes out.

Register Today!