Jocelyn was acting weird again. Last night she’d come to dinner in one of those tops she used to wear back in September, and I had struggled to eat any food. The light fabric of the blouse clung to her body in ways that I found painfully unfair. She had also increased the amount of make-up she wore, again. This wasn’t a big deal, I told myself. Maybe she just liked makeup. What had me worried was that she kept disappearing with no explanation. I regularly checked the map, but I couldn’t find her in it half the time. When I could find her, however, she was in busy areas of the school with a bunch of other random students around her.
I didn’t like it. I had a bad feeling about this. I know I had said to James being around her was killing me, but not knowing where she was or what she was doing was even worse. The only thing that made it bearable was that she wasn’t with Hardin, for he was often in the common room with Matt and Cal when Jocelyn was gone.
“Have you seen Jo today?” I asked Lily as we all sat in the common room together.
“She went running this morning again and I saw her when she came back to shower but not since. She said something about catching up on work and that extra assignment she’s working on with McGonagall” Lily replied.
“Explosive snap?” Peter suggested. People nodded and he started getting things ready.
“She’s been AWOL since the day before yesterday” I said.
“She’s been training a lot” Lily informed me.
“What do you mean? Jo has always trained a lot”
“No, like, more than usual. She’s been running every morning since the holiday started and she’s gone to the gymnasium twice in the afternoon. She never trains in the afternoon”
“Do you think she’s upset over Alice still?” James asked her.
“Alice did love Christmas. Maybe she’s finding it hard to enjoy the holiday. Maybe she feels guilty” Lily said looking thoughtful.
“That sounds like Jo” I shook my head. I wish she’d stop beating herself up over Alice’s death.
“I’ll see if I can talk to her tonight when she gets back”
We spent a few hours chilling in the common room, but Jo didn’t come back before we gave up and went to bed. I checked the map one last time before falling asleep and spotted her in Dumbledore’s office. I thought this was a bit strange, but then again Jo was always running errands for McGonagall so this could just be one of those.
The following day, Jo showed up to breakfast. Lily was whispering something furiously in her ear, and she was smiling. I relaxed a little.
“Morning” she sat next to me and I handed her a plate with toast, butter and jam.
“You’re welcome. Where have you been? You missed an intense explosive snap game yesterday. Peter almost lost his eyebrows” I told her. She chuckled.
“I’m busy. Doing lots of extra work for McGonagall”
“It’s Christmas. Has she no mercy?”
“Apparently not” Jo shrugged.
“Are you working with her again today?” I asked her.
“Yup. But I think I’ll be done in time to join you tonight” she replied.
“Moony will like that. He feels better knowing there’s three of us who can stand up to him if he gets too wild” I whispered. She nodded.
After breakfast Jo took off in the direction of McGonagall’s office and we headed outside for a snow fight. It had been a good season and we had plenty. Lily looked frightened.
“You have nothing to worry about. Prongs has the best aim, and he’s never going to attack you. You’re fine” I told her. She beamed at me.
“I’ve never had a snowfight before” she said.
“You have no idea what you’ve been missing” I grinned.
“Did you talk to Jo?”
“A bit, yeah. She’s working with McGonagall a lot, she said, but she’ll be back tonight to join us with Moony”
“I asked her last night when she came in, she was a bit grumpy and didn’t say much” she informed me.
“Do you think there’s something else going on?” I asked.
“I think she’s probably missing Alice. And she’s probably tired, I mean, she wakes up at the crack of dawn and comes back late…”
“You don’t sound too sure”
“I have a strange feeling, like there’s something we’re missing” she said, shrugging. “We’ll find out eventually. Jocelyn isn’t the most subtle of people”
I laughed at that. The snow fight was outstanding. I landed a couple of brilliant blows on Prongs and managed to walk out relatively unscathed until he teamed up with Lily and Remus. Peter tried to help me, but he wasn’t great at these things. It was hilarious.
We made it back wet and cold just in time to get ready to go with Moony to the Shack. I was starting to wonder where Jocelyn was, she hadn’t show up yet. We were getting impatient when Red walked into our room.
“Jo can’t make it. She’s still with McGonagall” she said. It was clear she’d come running from somewhere.
“Oh, right, thanks for telling us” Peter nodded. I was pretty sure I’d seen McGonagall alone in her office 20 minutes ago on the map, but I didn’t have time to point it out and argue about it. We were already late. I was severely pissed off at this, Jo knew how much this meant to Moony.
“Be careful! I’ll see you tomorrow” she waved goodbye at us, gave Prongs a quick kiss and left again.
My plan was working. I had started wearing the ‘emo slut’ clothes again (some of them) and hanging out in the general vicinity of Christian more often. I made sure he caught me staring and always pretended to be embarrassed about it. This had to be believable, and there was no way in hell he’d buy it if I just went for it. My strategy was to make him believe I fancied him but was trying to talk myself out of it because he was a Slytherin. I knew he’d eventually want to get with me, even if it was just to get back a James.
I lied to Lily about work with McGonagall and, because I hadn’t really lied to her ever before, she believed me and took off to inform the marauders I wouldn’t be joining them at the Shack that night. I felt guilty, but at least this time it wasn’t to spend time flirting with a snake. I wasn’t spending all my time trying to seduce Christian. I also had training with the Order.
That night we met in Hogsmeade again. It was extremely hard to concentrate whilst I could hear the awful noises coming from the Shack, but every time I heard them, I reminded myself that Alice was part of the reason I was training. I wanted to fight because what Lord Voldemort was doing was wrong, but I also wanted to fight for her. To avenge her.
Sirius was very angry at me for missing the full moon, but he forgave me quickly after I made puppy eyes at him. Lily found this hilarious.
I took a short break from training with the Order and my Christian plan to celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the marauders. Everything else could wait. If I was going to go through with it all, this could be the last time I was welcome amongst my friends and I was going to make the most of it. We wanted to have a small, private dinner on Christmas Eve and exchange gifts the next morning.
“Does anyone even know how to get food at Hogwarts?” Lily asked. We were in the marauders’ room. She was sitting on James’ bed and I was on the floor, my back on Sirius’. I didn’t think it’d be good for my sanity to sit on his bed.
“You offend me” Sirius said. I laughed.
“Right, so how do we get it?”
“We go to the kitchens, of course” James said smugly.
“You know how to get into the kitchens?” Lily’s eyes were wide. I sometimes wondered if she remembered who it was she was dating.
“I’ll even take you, if you want to be in charge of the food with me” he offered.
“I object to that!” I said. They looked at me. “If we send Lily and James together to the kitchens there’s a big chance we’ll die of starvation before they make it back. If she wants to see the kitchens, she can go with anyone but James”
“Jo’s got a point” said Remus. James was looking at me like he might choke me.
“Sorry Prongs, I’m not risking our Christmas Eve feast” I winked at him. Lily was blushing.
“I’ll go with you, Lily. And Peter, you should probably come with us. Us three fit under Prong’s cloak” Remus said.
They took the map and the cloak and left, promising to be back soon. I got up from the floor and lounged on Remus’ bed, stretching a little bit. I noticed then that both James and Sirius were eerily quiet. I was about to sit up and ask what this was about when I was viciously attacked by a pair of giant white pillows. They were merciless as they pummeled me. Shrieking, I tried to protect myself with my arms and legs, kicking and thrashing as they expertly dodged me and hit me again, laughing maniacally.
“THIS IS FOR RUINING MY ESCAPADE TO THE KITCHENS WITH LILY” James shouted every time he hit me.
“You’re killing me! What shall you do if you permanently maim your best player, cap?” I shouted between giggles. He stopped a second to think about it, and I took the moment of hesitation to regain control of this war.
I jumped to my feet and stood on the bed, firmly holding Remus’ pillow and aimed at Sirius, who was closer. We were engaged in a ferocious fight to the death when James, whom I had totally forgotten about, hit me in the back. ‘Backstabbing bastard’ I thought as I lost my balance and stumbled from the bed. I crashed into Sirius with force, and we both went down in a heap of pillows and limbs. We came to a stop and my heartbeat skyrocketed. My knees were on either side of his hips. The realisation that I was basically straddling him and, much like last year, my face was about two inches from his made me blush furiously. I felt his sharp intake of breath and was about to do something completely stupid when the door burst open and our three friends came back carrying boxes and bags of food.
I sprang up so fast I hit my head on a bedpost and landed painfully back on Remus’ bed.
“What the hell?” Peter looked at Sirius, still on the floor, the various pillows thrown around the room and me, sat on the bed rubbing my head.
“Pillow fight” James said, smiling wickedly.
“We got the food!”
We had a wonderful dinner, laughing, playing explosive snap and just having the best time. We drank some beer and some whiskey, played silly games and talked about the best memories from the previous years at Hogwarts. I think it was starting to dawn on us that we were really leaving the school at the end of this year. It was quite sad.
Around three in the morning, Peter dozed off. Remus was next, closer to four. Then, Lily mumbled something about not wanting to walk back and crawled into bed with James – the first time ever – and fell asleep with him. I was quite pissed off that I’d have to go back to my room on my own. I wasn’t drunk but I was well past ‘tipsy’ and exhausted.
“Jo” Sirius whispered.
“Mm?” I was so tired.
“Come here” he was sat on his bed. Maybe it was the whiskey, or how tired I was, or that I just, for once, wanted to do something I’d regret later. I sat next to him. “You don’t have to go back alone, if you don’t want to”
“I don’t want to”
“Then stay” and he lay back and shuffled to the side. I was small enough that there was plenty of space for us to share a bed without too much touching. I turned to face him. He was very close.
“Merry Christmas” he smiled, and I think he said ‘Merry Christmas’ too, but I was already asleep.
We exchanged gifts the following morning. I had got Lily a pair of expensive muggle shoes she had been obsessed with for ages. She insisted on putting them on, which James greatly appreciated. They made her look super sexy. I got James a new pair of quidditch gloves, Peter a bottle of his favourite cologne and Remus a year’s supply of Honeydunkes chocolate, delivered regularly once per week to wherever he was. He was over the moon. Lily got me a new pair of sunglasses I’d been after for some time and were impossible to get. James a brand-new bat and a miniature, toy broom (I was deeply touched he remembered this from when we were kids). Peter got me a limited edition of one of my favourite books and Remus got me an album of photos of me playing quidditch for Gryffindor. I was quite shocked; I didn’t even know they took pictures. It was an awesome gift and I loved that Sirius was in more than half of the pictures.
I had purposely waited to give Sirius his present until the end. Everyone was distracted, talking to each other or enjoying their presents, so I turned to him and tried to speak quietly.
“So, I got you something, too” I said. “But I couldn’t bring it to the room”
“It’s a bit big”
“I’m very curious”
“Do you think we can sneak out?”
“They won’t mind”
We left the room with James’ cloak and the map and, like Sirius predicted, nobody said a word. I didn’t stop to think they might have done it on purpose because I was nervous. If I had got this wrong, I was going to be so embarrassed. Huddled under the cloak, I took Sirius through the passage where I had helped James bring him to the infirmary last year. We came out behind the castle and I led him to the edge of the grounds.
“You are killing me, Jo! What’s going on?” I could tell he was excited, and it made me giddy.
“Just a bit further” I kept going, praying to whoever was listening that he liked his present. “Right, here we are”
“Wait, I got you something, too” he said.
“What? Surely you didn’t think I wasn’t going to get my favourite beater a present?” he said. I smiled.
“You go first” I told him. He nodded and took something out of his pocked.
“I hope I got this right” he said, handing the box over.
I opened it and almost dropped it. Inside was a pendant more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before. I was shaped in the form of a rose, made of perfect, glittering dark stones.
“Are… are these… Sirius, what are these?”
He looked slightly uncomfortable before replying, “Black diamonds”
“But… but… Sirius… this must have cost you a fortune. Do you know how rare these stones are?”
“Trust, me I know. It wasn’t easy to find them” he half-joked.
“I… don’t know what to say”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s absolutely perfect. How did you know I love roses? I’ve never told anyone”
“I didn’t. I guessed. I thought they suited you. And, well, not super original but Sirius Black… black rose… you get me” he shrugged. I smiled at him and, in a spontaneous impulse, threw my arms around his neck.
“I love it. Thank you,” I stepped back before he could feel the frantic beating of my heart. Then, I took it out of the box and held it up. “Help me?”
He did. I remembered the day on his birthday when he’d grazed my skin putting up my zip. His fingers trailing lightly on the back of my neck had a similar effect. I had to concentrate hard to remember the reason we were out here in the first place.
“Right, well, ehm… now your present. Tada!” I said, waving my wand. You do not want to know how hard it had been to get a muggle motorcycle over to Hogwarts grounds and keep it disillusioned until today. Boy, was I glad Minerva and Albus had agreed to help me (being in the Order had perks).
“MERLIN, GODRIC and MY UNCLE ALPHARD,” he exclaimed in awe. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding at his flamboyant enthusiasm.
“You like it?”
“ARE YOU MAD? Of course I like it. Oh my God, Jocelyn! This is the best gift I have ever received” he ran over excitedly and started checking things here and there. I had no idea how it worked, but I was so happy he liked it this much.
“I haven’t even told you the best part yet,” I said smugly.
He turned to look at me, his eyes wide and a little wild around the edges. “What could possibly be better than a muggle bike?”
“A muggle bike that flies,” I said with a smirk.
He opened his mouth, then closed it, opened it again.
“Do you want to take it for a spin?” I asked him to help him out of his stupor.
Being on the back of a flying motorcycle holding on to Sirius’ extremely hard and taut abdomen was the most delicious kind of torture. I was so absorbed in thoughts of how insane his body was that I wasn’t paying much attention to the fact that he was being rather reckless with his flying. I let myself get lost in the moment, resting my cheek against the back of his shoulder. I desperately wished that the moment would last forever. If I could have stayed there, flying on the back of the bike with my arms knotted around Sirius for the rest of my life, I would have been content. When we finally landed again, I explained to him I had arranged for the bike to be stored near the boathouse until we left school at the end of the year. He was quite impressed I’d managed to convince McGonagall to let me do this, but I explained it away rather convincingly with the whole ‘I’m her favourite student and illegal animagus at her request, so she kind of owes me’ thing.
As we walked back to the common room, I started to get anxious and rather upset. The last two days had been the best I had had since Alice died. I was not ready for the day to end, but there was nothing I could do. I knew it would be a long time, perhaps forever, since I had another day like this with the marauders. They were so not going to forgive me for Christian.
“You look… sad” Sirius said, glancing sideways at me.
“I was thinking Alice would have loved our little Christmas party” I replied. I hated myself for lying, but what could I do? I did not want any of them involved with the Order. I could not bear it if any of them died on me.
“She would have” he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. We walked like that until we reached Gryffindor Tower.
“Thanks for the necklace. It is amazing” I told him for like the hundredth time.
“If I’d known you were getting me the bike, I would have got you a mountain of those things” he joked. I laughed.
We re-joined our friends and spent the rest of the day with them. I noticed Sirius didn’t tell them about the bike yet, and it made me happy that he wanted to keep it our little secret, even if for a little while.
When I went to bed on Christmas Day I cried myself to sleep. I desperately wanted it to be someone else’s job, I wanted it to be someone else’s war, someone else’s heart on the line. But it wasn’t. It was me, it was up to me to protect my friends, to fight Lord Voldemort and get revenge for Alice. As determined as I was to accomplish it, I was also scared to death. I had no idea how I was going to manage losing my friends, losing Sirius.
I wasn’t a person that lived life with regrets, but as I lay in my bed, face buried in my pillow to muffle my sobs, I thought I deeply regretted the fact that I would never find out what kissing Sirius felt like. The thought hurt me more than I thought it had any right to.
I was starting to worry that my plan wasn’t working. We were two days away from the New Year’s Eve party and Christian hadn’t made his move. It was confusing me. I had caught him staring a lot during the past week, and now sometimes held his gaze for a bit before breaking it and pretending to be flustered. But, I couldn’t go talk to him. The whole thing would only be believable if he made the first move.
Lily had hinted that she thought something was off, but I had dismissed her as best as I could. Lucky for me, she spent a lot of time snogging James these days, so she was a bit preoccupied. Sirius also spent a lot of time ‘mysteriously running around the grounds’ according to his friends, who still didn’t know about his bike. I, however, hadn’t gone with him again. I couldn’t. I had to build this up if they were going to buy it, and putting distance between us was the first step. So, instead of hanging out in the common room, I was mostly holed up in the Room of Requirements practicing or swaggering around the Library when Christian was working there. I had also sat with Hardin, Cal and Matt for a couple of meals arguing I was in a hurry and sitting with the marauders always took very long.
The day before the New Year’s Eve party all my efforts finally paid off. I was sat at the end of the breakfast table with Hardin, Cal and Matt, reading a magazine when I heard a stronger than usual murmur around us.
“What the fuck does he think he is doing?” I heard Matt, of all people, say.
I looked up at that and saw that Christian had walked almost all the way to our table. His gaze caught mine and he nodded almost imperceptibly towards the entrance hall.
“He’s acting weird. Probably trying to start a fight, must be bored” Cal dismissed Christian’s behavior when he didn’t make it all the way and, instead, turned towards the doors.
“Excuse me, guys” I put my magazine away and stood up. Christian had already left.
I walked out and caught a glimpse of blond hair disappearing down a side corridor. Taking a deep breath and digging deep to find the worst of me within myself, I followed him. He was casually leaning against a wall and smirked when I came into view.
“Jocelyn Silverway” he said. I gave him a half smile.
“Christian Rosier” I swaggered down the corridor until I was standing in front of him.
“You are an interesting girl” he said, eyeing me. “I thought Gryffindors were above mingling with other houses”
“I shouldn’t be talking to you”
“Then, why are you?”
“I said I shouldn’t, not that I didn’t want to” I shrugged. He smirked even more.
“I have heard you don’t always follow the rules”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Well said” he adjusted his position a bit.
“So, you called me?”
“I wasn’t sure you’d actually come” he said, truthfully. I had to take a second to compose myself at the doubt that crossed his features. I had to remind myself that even if he was planning to join Voldemort, which I sincerely hoped he wasn’t, he was still just a seventeen year old kid. And so was I.
“Well, I did” I moved a little closer to him.
“You did…” he took my hand in his. Not in a romantic way, more in a ‘I am studying your hand’ kind of way. He played with my fingers, intertwining them in his for a bit before speaking again. He looked at me, not letting go of my hand. “What do you want, Silverway?”
“I’m not sure yet”
“Maybe I can help you figure it out,” the smirk was back. I smirked back at him.
“I sure as hell wouldn’t be in a corridor with the enemy if I didn’t think you could, would I?” he laughed at that. It was a detached and cold kind of laugh. I didn’t like it very much.
“I heard rumours you were a handful”
“What else have you heard?” I said a bit more suggestively.
“You know, boys like to brag… I wondered if it is true, or if it’s all talk”
And then, knowing full well that this would cause a rift between me and my marauders, possibly forever, I pressed myself up against Christian and said: “why don’t you find out?”. I had barely finished speaking when his mouth crashed on mine.
If it wasn’t for how disgusted I was at the fact that I was snogging a potential Death Eater, I might have enjoyed it. Christian knew what he was doing, and he was good at it. We snogged for a long while before I pushed away.
“You can’t leave me like this” he complained.
“I can, and I shall. Keep you coming back for more” I winked at him and turned to leave.
“Wait!” I turned to look at him. “Save me a dance tomorrow” he said, smiling wickedly. I returned the smile and left.
Jocelyn was putting a lot more effort into her looks than I had ever seen her before. I was very excited about the party but this was no Crystal Ball, so I was curious.
“What’s with all the prep today?” I inquired. She smiled mischievously.
“I might have a someone to impress” she said.
“Sirius?” I asked her. Her face made a strange grimace.
“Yeah, Sirius” she replied half-heartedly. I thought she was still having doubts so I tried to be encouraging. It killed me not to be able to tell her the truth about how he felt.
“I think you guys could make it work, if you actually gave it a go, you know?” we had woken up on Christmas Day to find Jo and Sirius sleeping in the same bed, pretty much spooning.
I had had to bury my face in James’ pillow to stop my excited squealing from waking them up. I was hoping they’d admit to kissing, but apparently it hadn’t happened. Leave it to Jo and Sirius to be totally head over heels for each other and still manage to share a bed without getting it on.
“We’ll see” was all she said.
We walked down to the common room where the boys were waiting for us. James looked dashing in his robes and he looked at me in a way that made me feel all giddy and excited. I always felt like the prettiest girl in the world when I was with him. I, however, also had to wonder how Jo had any doubts about whether her and Sirius would work when I saw how he was looking at her. If James ever looked at me that way in public I’m afraid I’d make a spectacle.
Jo was wearing a beautiful red dress that suited her frame perfectly. It hugged her curves in all the right places and even made her look a bit taller. Her dark, chocolate hair contrasted with the bright red of the dress in a very nice way. Sirius could not take his eyes off her. The tension irradiating from him was such that it was making me bothered and I had nothing to do with it.
Jo either didn’t notice or was extremely good at pretending. She smiled and waved at everyone and then we were on our way. Sirius offered her his arm and she took it. They looked gorgeous. They reminded me a little of movie starts on those Hollywood red carpet events.
The Great Hall looked incredibly beautiful. There was music playing already and several tables set up with lots of food and drinks. The marauders had assured us they had managed to sneak in some of the muggle whiskey Jo was super fond of – turns out the teachers had magically banned fire whiskey from the party, so our boys had found a way to get around it. Things were going really well. I was dancing with James, and Jo was dancing with Remus. Then I danced with Sirius and Jo with James. All the while Peter was with his current girl. He’d come talk to us for a bit every now and then, and go off with her again. It was rather cute.
“Sirius, I think you should ask Jo for a dance” I whispered to him as we swayed.
“I’m working on it. I think I need another drink” he replied. I looked at him in surprise. He was building up the courage… I realized this was more than just a dance he was going to ask for. Tonight was the night!
“Oh my God, you’re going for it, aren’t you?” he nodded, looking rather panicked. “Good luck” I whispered.
I let go of Sirius and cut into James and Jo’s dance. She winked at me and headed to the bar.
“Let’s keep an eye on them, I think Sirius is finally going to make a move” I told James. His eyes almost popped.
“Oh god, I am so nervous” he whispered. I squeezed his hand. This had to go well for our friends. It had to.
Jocelyn was pouring herself a drink when Sirius, taking a deep breath, started walking towards her. I was silently cheering for Sirius when, for no reason whatsoever, the insufferable git that was Slytherin’s most popular kid, approached Jo.
“Why the fuck is Rosier talking to Jo?” James stopped dancing immediately.
“I have no idea. She’s never spoken to a Slytherin before” I said.
“I know that” he replied. “He approached her. Why?”
“Do you think he fancies her?” I asked. He was looking at Jo in a way that made my skin crawl.
“As if she’d ever even… what is she doing?!” James was in hysterics as we watched the scene unfolding before us.
I saw with growing concern that Sirius was glaring at Rosier from a few feet whilst Jo and him talked. She giggled at something he said and my alarm bells started to ring loudly. Then, Rosier held out a hand and said something that made Jo laugh even more. And, to our utter shock and horror, she took his hand and followed him to the dance floor.
It was taking all my willpower and determination not to tremble. I could feel my friends’ eyes on me as I took Christian’s hand and followed him. I kept my eyes resolutely focused on his green ones so I didn’t accidentally glance at anyone I cared about. I had to give it to him, he was a good dancer. We swayed and twirled for a full two songs before I told him I was going to get the drink he’d prevented me from drinking before. If I was going to go through with the plan I was in need of alcoholic assistance. He nodded and, with a smirk, let me go.
I made my way back to the table and looked for the enchanted bottles with the muggle whiskey. I downed the first glass I poured in one go and was refilling when I felt a presence by me.
“What the actual fuck?”
“Save it, Sirius. I don’t want to hear it”
“What is wrong with you? Christian Rosier! Why did you dance with him?”
I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “He asked, I said yes. No big deal”
“No big deal? Jocelyn he is a Slytherin”
“It’s not like you don’t shag girls from other houses, Sirius” I said.
“Never a Slytherin!”
“They really are not very good looking” I said, half joking.
“I wouldn’t care if they were the most gorgeous people in the world, Jocelyn. Slytherins are bad news”
“I am old enough to make my own choices, Sirius”
“Well, you’re making all the wrong ones!” I was prepared for him to be angry, but not this much. I was kind of expecting this a bit more from James, the chairman of the anti-Slytherin brigade.
“It’s none of your business!” I grabbed my glass and walked away. I noticed he was following me. ‘Shit’ I thought.
I also noticed our timing was just piss-poor. People were getting ready for the countdown. I fleetingly thought about how much I would have liked it if we lived in a different time, a time of peace, and I didn’t have to do horrible things to help win the war. In that time, I would have probably kissed Sirius at midnight.
“Jocelyn” he caught up to me and grabbed my arm lightly. I couldn’t meet his eyes, so I pretended to be irritated at him.
“What? What do you want Sirius?” I pulled my arm away.
The Order needed this, they needed me to find out as much as I could. I was their only agent still in school and the information I could access through the children of some of Voldemort’s inner circle was too valuable. People’s lives were on the line. With a heavy heart, I knew that even though it was going to break me to pieces, I had no choice. I set my jaw and gave Sirius the hardest, coldest look I could. The countdown began.
“What I do…
…or don’t do
… is none of your business!”
I turned around
Christian was looking at me from a few feet away
I smiled at him
He moved quickly, glancing at Sirius behind me
I heard Sirius shout something but I forced myself to block it out
‘This is to avenge Alice’ I thought to myself
And Christian Rosier kissed me in the middle of the Great Hall.
The kiss was a rather short one. One minute I was snogging Christian, the next he was on the floor in a wrestling match with Sirius. His nose was bleeding. I started shouting at Sirius to let him go, but he was raging. If someone didn’t stop them, this was going to get very ugly. James appeared out of nowhere and jumped in but instead of helping to separate them, he joined Sirius in his attack against Christian. In a matter of minutes, the fight had escalated to a full-on Slytherin vs Gryffindor brawl. Even Hardin, Matt and Cal joined in. The commotion caught the attention of the teachers who flocked to us. Lily grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the fight.
“What are you thinking? Are you insane? What is wrong with you?” she was shell-shocked. I stopped shouting at them to stop fighting.
“I didn’t think it’d be such a big deal” I said.
“Jo! What the fuck? He’s Rosier, Rosier! I thought you hated him! Why did you let him kiss you?”
“He’s hot” I replied.
“You don’t like blond guys”
“Now I do”
“I swear to Godric Jo if you don’t tell me what the fuck is going on, I’m going to lose it” I didn’t think I’d ever heard Lily swear that much in my entire life. I couldn’t really blame her. I wanted to freak out at myself too. I just couldn’t afford to.
“He came to talk to me yesterday. He was nice, and civil, and asked me to save him a dance. And then we were dancing, and I thought, he’s nice looking and totally not my type, so I went for it” I shrugged. “Sirius and I aren’t meant to be. He’s my friend, and a man-whore. The sooner I get over this stupid crush the better. Christian is a perfect distraction”
“I can’t believe you, Jo. I thought we were past this self-destructive behavior”
“I am. Why do you care so much? This whole ‘he’s a Slytherin’ thing is getting old. You sound like James”
“Well, James has a point! They are bad people. You know how many times they’ve called me names?”
“I think you’re over reacting, it’s just a bit of fun” I said.
“I… I am so disappointed Jo. I never would have thought this of you” and with that, she left me and joined James and the other marauders who were trying (and failing) to calm Sirius down now that the fight had been broken up.
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