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I was dreading quidditch practice today. I just had that feeling in my gut that something wasn’t going to go right or we would be held up with insufferable nonsense. I loomed over the thought of canceling or postponing it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. We needed to practice. Ron can’t keep his head in the game for more than 5 minute intervals of time and don’t even get me started on my beaters’ aim. The chasers are sloppy without Goodwin and Goodwin…well…she’s a million problems wrapped into one. Overall I blame myself for not having control over half of the situations that occur on that pitch. In all honesty Sam Ace would be a better captain than I ever could be. I never have been a leader, most people think that I am with all things considered. I’ve never been the smartest or the funniest now that I think of it…hence why Hermione and Ron are my best mates. I’d like to think I’m clever but most of my greatest achievements happen out of pure random luck.


“Harry!” Cho interrupted my thoughts as we finished our lunch together. “Honestly this is what I’m talking about. You never listen to me!”


“I was listening.” I lied as she pouted her pink lips at me. Her eyes were angry as her ivory cheeks started to flush. “I was…”


“Then what did I just say to you?” She challenged as I grew impatient with her childish games.


“I hate when you ask me that.”


“Only because you are not listening to me!” She whined crossing her arms at me. “Harry, I can’t continue to be the brunt of this relationship. You hardly communicate anymore. I haven’t heard you speak a full sentence to me in over a week!”


“That’s absurd! I gave that lecture in Divination on Wednesday…”


“Right, that was a week ago!” She argued as I felt my fist tighten. “I am so exhausted from-”


“Cho…I’m exhausted.” I stated honestly. “I have to get us ready for the match this weekend or we’re going to lose!”


“Losing is not the end of the world Harry.” Her words hurt me and I watched her eyebrows furrow at me. “Besides I told you I hate talking to you about quidditch, especially when you’re playing against my house.” I was still upset by her losing comment and I guess I didn’t respond quickly enough before she started arguing more. “What if I want my house to win the match?”


“Do you want your house to win?” I said sarcastically and she made a smug expression at me.


“Well I can’t tell you because you want to win sooooooo much!” She said childishly before standing up suddenly. She grabbed her bags furiously before she began to storm out of the Great Hall. By this point we had gained a slight audience. I felt my embarrassment overwhelm me and it forced me to follow in her wake.


“Cho.” I said in a low voice as I chased her out of the Great Hall doors. “Cho, please…I don’t like when you-”


“You don’t like many things that I like Harry.” She said turning around to face me. We were in front of the staircases and I began to hear the whispers around us.


“Cho please, let’s talk somewhere more private.” I begged, lowering my voice as she looked at me seriously.


“I don’t want to go somewhere private. We need to discuss things right now.”


“Then why did you leave me back there just now?” I laughed at her comment and this enraged her.


“I wanted to get your attention!” She admitted thickly and I felt my temper start to boil.


“My attention…couldn’t you just have told me what was upsetting you rather than storming off?” I said feeling my defenses start to engage.


“No because then it wouldn’t be very Shakespeare of me!” She shouted obnoxiously. I looked at her with utter confusion as her eyes began to well up. If no one was paying attention to us before they were now. I had landed myself in front of every student in the most populated area of the school and Cho was ready for a show.


“What?!” I felt like my raw confusion upset her more as she began to sniffle in a baby voice.


“It’s poetry Harry, Merlin are you that brutish of my feelings?” She cried pathetically as I ran my hand through my hair in frustration.


“I just have a lot on my mind Cho, once the match is over I’ll be-” I started to beg more before she started sobbing uncontrollably. I almost felt as if she was joking with me as she suddenly became inconsolable…and ridiculous. I tried to calm her but she pushed me away roughly. “I promise I’ll give you all the attention you need.”


“ATTENTION THAT I NEED? Now it’s my fault? Like I’m some spoiled brat!”


“Cho calm down please. You know that’s not what I said!” I said desperately and she suddenly became angry.


“Oh now I’m LYING? What the hell Harry!?!?!!” My heart started pounding against my chest so hard that I heard it echoing in my ears.


“Cho, I’m sorry. I can change and-”


“No Harry. I don’t want you to change because I told you to. I want you to change for me.” She began to cry uncontrollably again as I felt completely helpless. “I think we’re breaking up.”


“Wait…what?” I said confused as I felt the whispers around us stop suddenly. “I-I don’t want to break up Cho.”


“I…I-I do.” She said finally and our eyes met. “You’re not the same anymore Harry.”


“But…Cho listen I can-”


“No…Harry it’s over!” She shouted at me before she dashed away from me. A few of the girls that were watching chased after Cho as I quickly pulled myself together. I didn’t know what to think as I passed everyone in the corridor. I made my way to the court yard as I felt more and more students gawking at me. I don’t know if they were really gawking at me or if I was just paranoid now, but I hated myself. As my mind raced with pointless ramblings I tried to focus on the fact that Cho just broke up with me. My thoughts kept reeling me back to quidditch and how was I going to manage to pull my team together now with this weighing on me. The stares and conversations about me dwindled the further away I raced from that corridor. I was filled with embarrassment as I felt my cheeks growing redder and redder. All I have ever asked for her to do is give me space when I need it and most of the time it was due to the fact that I can never get out of my own sodding head. She knows that I bloody hate making scenes and being so public with our relationship. She always puts on this giant show and now I’m just another act in her play. Drama. What was she even saying back there…Shakespeare? What the bloody hell does that have to do with what we were talking about? And how could she just dismiss the fact that she wanted me to purposely lose at a game I hold so dear to my heart. If she wanted her team to win maybe she should be out on the field with them practicing until the sun sets, covered in sweat with aching muscles. Screaming your bloody lungs out at a ruddy chaser that can’t keep her sodding fat mouth shut. Then stay even longer because you have to run extra drills with the ruddy chaser who constantly reminds you why you should have kicked her off the team in the first place. 


“You alright mate?” Ron interrupted me as I finally came out of my racing mind.


“Huh?” I said instinctively realizing my feet were taking me in the direction of my next class. The corridors were starting to crowd with the usual after lunch bustle, but I felt stares as we neared our class. Then I saw her. Charlotte Goodwin. She was walking with a few people in front of the crowd we were massing in. She was holding as few books in her arms and I noticed her untucked shirt and messy bun. A few short curls were falling loose from it but she seemed to tuck them behind her ears. “Yeah…I’ve been better.”


“You’ve looked better.” Ron teased me slightly as I tore my gaze from her. “How was lunch with Cho?” His voice squeaked slightly when he said her name and it made me cringe.


“I’ve been better.” I said absent-mindedly. He looked at me with a silly twinge in his smile. I glanced back at Goodwin and noticed that she turned the corner to go up the stairs to the Divination tower. “I mean…I’m not so sure.” I faced back forward as we continued down the corridor with the mass of students. “Right now I…I-I think-we broke up.” I deterred quickly and he frowned slightly.


“Oh…oh no.” We walked into the class and sat at our usual desk as Ron grimaced at me. “I’m sorry about that mate. Truly-”


“Are you okay?” Hermione said interrupting us as she joined us at our table.


“Excuse you-”


“Piss off Ron.” Hermione said rudely as they gave one another a cold glare. Hermione can read me quicker than any book and I didn’t like her prying so I didn’t mind their moment of bickering.


“I heard everything.” She said honestly and I shrugged at her in confusion. Ron is gullible, thick, and easily influenced. Hermione pries until she solves. “Everyone has been talking about it.”


“That makes me feel so much better.” I admitted and she shot me an apologetic look.


“Come on Hermione, why do you always make everything so serious.” Ron said thickly as Hermione shot him a distasteful expression.


“Honestly I don’t care anymore.” I said trying to play off my inner emotions. I felt Hermione’s sad eyes penetrating me.


“I’m sorry Harry. I know how much this hurts.” She admitted before touching my shoulder.


“I’m fine. Honestly…” I lied feeling my heart being ripped from my chest again. Class shortly started as I reassured her with a smile. I looked down at my parchment and began to copy the notes from the board. The chalk would squeak slightly as it etched what Prof. Quill dictated. The squeaks began to jog my memories and I heard whispers erupt into my ear. I turned slightly startled and looked around to see everyone else quietly writing. I looked back at my paper and began to write again but soon I heard another whisper distinctly say my name. It was distracting as I tried to ignore it. My eyes darted around as I realize that my paranoia was in my own head. I ran my hand through my hair impatiently and my leg started to bounce up and down. I shut my eyes tightly and forced myself to block everything as I pushed on through the rest of the class period.




As soon as class let out I rushed past my fellow classmates and raced down to the quidditch pitch. If the rumors flying around about Potter and Chang were true, Potter would not be in the mood to deal with any tardiness. Even though I tell him every Tuesday and Thursday my last class is Divination and I’m going the fastest that I bloody well can. I even layer my clothes now and change while I’m running to practice, yes…running and changing…bloody unbelievable. I felt my thighs burning already and the blistering sun bearing down on my olive skin as I raced through the paddock of trickling students.


“Better not be late today!” Hollie joked casually as I passed her quickly.


“Haha! Very funny!” I said sarcastically as I glanced at my watch. I had 3 minutes to get on the green turf on the pitch or I was considered late. I felt hopeless as I dashed across the bridge and through the inner workings of the stadium. My heart was fluttering and my breaths were heavy as I searched for one last bolt of energy to reach the pitch in time, but his voice slammed into me like a ton of bricks.


“2 minutes Goodwin.” His voice rang out as I felt a rush of cool breeze on my sweat drenched face. I looked hazy-eyed at his dark-hair in the distance as he flew to the ground. I dashed quickly to his wake as he grabbed his water bottle. He poured some on his face before tossing the bottle into his duffle bag.


“Potter I was running my ass off to get here-” I was breathless and pulling my curls out of my mouth as his eyes met mine sharply.


“2 minutes.” He said again more dominantly as I swallowed hard.


“I was sprinting…”


“2…minutes.” He said even more aggressively as I took a giant breath.


“Are you sodding serious?”


“YOU WERE LATE!” He roared and I gripped my trembling fists tightly. “How many times have I asked you to not be late or to be on time?”


“Potter I-”


“It’s the same bloody thing Goodwin! Be here on time and I can actually start our practice!” He seemed erratic as it brought on the attention of our fellow teammates.


“Okay Potter I get it-” I said reeling back my attitude as much as bloody possible. He suddenly started walking towards me as I stood my ground.


“No Goodwin, I don’t think you do. I don’t think you understand that you’re the only one who causes problems on this team and you’re the only one who can’t follow rules-”


“You’re not even listening to me!” I turned around and started to march off the field, but Potter grabbed my arm harshly.


“Where do you think you’re-” I struggled against him as I felt our teammates begin to stare at us.


“I’m not going to be bullied by you because you’re sodding girlfriend broke up with you!” I turned and shouted in his face and I watched his neck turn red. “I told you that every Tuesday and Thursday I have Divination in the Astronomy Tower-”


“EXCUSES!” He roared as I stared at him with rage boiling beneath my skin. “You have an excuse for everything, just take responsibility for your reckless behaviors and apologize-” I felt my heart start to race as our eyes met hotly. His grip was harsh and tight on my wrists as I winced slightly.


“I’m not reckless!” I defended while throwing his grip off of me. “I’m not making excuses, I’m stating facts!”


“Facts? You never state facts, you just lie.” He rounded on me heavily and I was stunned. All I could do was stare into his hateful emerald gaze.


“You are so delusional right now!” I finally retaliated and he shot me an icy glare.


“This ends today. Do you hear me? There isn’t going to be a next time. I’ve threatened you, I’ve warned you, hell I’ve even begged you to keep your god damn mouth shut. I am your captain and you are my teammate. I expect you to treat me with respect, follow bloody orders-” His tone was strict and stern as I opened my mouth to speak. “-not talk back!”


“Harry, why are-” My voice was growing desperate and I felt my demeanor change because my normal tactics seemed powerless against him. His eyes widened when I said his first name and for a moment I felt his energy change towards me. He quickly backed away from me running his hands through his hair madly.


“Get off my pitch.” I looked at him seriously as I felt the conflict burning inside of him.


“Wha-” I approached him slowly but he held up his hand to me. “Are…are you-” I felt my eyes start to well up and I could hardly breathe. “Are you kicking me off the team?”


“I’m sick of dreading quidditch.” He said heavily and I gulped holding back my emotions as much as I could.


“Harry please…this is-” I felt my voice break slightly and it caused him to suddenly look at me. “-all that I have…”


“Charlotte, I...” He looked away from me and gritted his teeth before our eyes met again. I felt the tears escaping my eyes and rolling off my chin as he watched me suffer. “I’m benching you for the match on Saturday…if-”


“Benching?” I swallowed roughly before biting my tongue. I looked away from him and wiped my chin of the free falling tears as he cleared his throat.


“Yes.” He stated in a god-like tone. “If you don’t take this opportunity to correct your behavior on the pitch then…I’ll be forced to remove you from the team.”


“I…I-don’t-” I stammered and his eyes grew serious.


“I want more respect on the field Goodwin. And in return I will treat you more fairly.” He stated simply and I gulped heavily.


“Okay…” I agreed robotically and nodded submissively. “I guess…I’ll-” I broke our stare as I felt my teammates state grow worrisome. “Have a…a good match guys.”


“Charlie-” I heard Ally say solemnly as Ace held her back.


“Have a good match.” It took every ounce of me to not curse or wish Potter bad luck. I wanted to scream and knock his bloody teeth in but I calmly left the stadium before letting my tears overwhelm me in front of everyone. I dragged my broom and dufflebag as my heart weighed heavily in the pit of my stomach. It could be worse…I could have gotten kicked off the team…which could have happened if I didn’t keep my big fat mouth shut. I honestly am glad that my dramatics came into effect or I would have definitely lost everything. I hope he’s proven wrong at that match…I hope Chang fucked his head up so badly that he ends up fumbling at the last second. But at this point my body was aching from running so fast to get there in the first place and now my emotions made my mind exhausted. I can’t even properly murder Potter in my own fantasies as I almost collapsed in the court yard from exhaustion and depression. I managed to get back to the Gryffindor tower undetected and unseen in my current weepy state. And I was glad when I finally reached our dorm room that it was empty, with no one to hear how pathetically I wept into my pillows. There were moments between my sobs when I cursed myself for allowing my relationship with Potter to escalate to the terror that it has become but I never expected him to make good on his threats. But who am I kidding, there was bound to be a line between us that was going to get crossed…and I just tip-toed on the line. I stared at the ceiling and watched the candles dim initiating that it was almost time for dinner and the girls would be returning to the room soon. My cloudy eyes blinked roughly as I felt my tear stained cheeks. I pushed on my forehead and repeatedly told myself “It could have been worse, it could have been worse” until my sadness made me fall asleep.

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