‘Are you okay?’ asked Dom changing out of her school robes.


We were on the carriage train with every other student heading back home for the Easter weekend.


‘Yes Dom, for the umpteenth time, I’m OK’ I said pulling my jeans up. I was getting real annoyed with her asking every hour.


‘Have you seen Cruz yet?’ asked Red carefully.


‘No’ I admitted.


I haven’t seen Cruz since this morning, when we …had intercourse… I’m not sure what to call it to be honest…. I can’t call it making love, because it wasn’t..


 I mean I love Cruz, but I’m not inlove with Cruz... And I can’t call it having sex, because it meant more than that to me…



‘Ro…’ said Cruz looking into my eyes as he still lay on top of me.

‘Mmm?’ I asked. Cruz kissed my collarbone and rolled off me.

‘You okay?’ he asked.

‘Yeah I’m fine’ I said with a fake smile. He arched his eyebrow.

‘Did I hurt you?’ he asked suddenly.

‘No’ I said quickly ‘No it’s just … It was good’ I said lamely

‘Good?’ chuckled Cruz ‘ Well it felt amazing too me, I’m sorry it just felt good for you’ he laughed.

‘No no’ I said blushing. ‘ It was really good, like omg amazing I-can’t-believe-I’ve-never-done-this before good. Like WOW’ I smiled just thinking about it.

‘But?’ asked Cruz

‘Nothing.. I’m just still trying to process it’ I lied with a fake giggle. ‘I have to get use to not being a virgin haha, Dom is going to be in shock when I tell her!’

‘And what exactly are you going to tell her?’ smiled Cruz

‘That we had sex’ I smiled ‘Wait can you have sex with friends? What does that make us now?!’

Cruz laughed ‘Calm your farm’ he said, as he got up to get dressed. ‘We can be whatever you want us to be. Want to stay friends? No worries. Want to have benefits? Fine? Want a relationship? Ok? Want to get married? Lets go’

I laughed nervously. ‘Can we both just take a day to think about it…’

Cruz frowned. ‘You’re still thinking about him aren’t you’

‘No’ I lied.

Cruz chuckled to the floor, shook his head. ‘Okay, well  when you’ve found your answer, let me know please’ he said as he left my dorm.



Truth be told. I loved sex with Cruz. It was probably the best feeling I’ve ever had in the world. Which is what kills me.

I feel so guilty. It was suppose to be Teddy. I had mentally planned on losing it to Teddy.

And it hurts me so much knowing I never will. So why the hell did I play with Cruz and let him take it?


I hate myself.







Dom’s phone went off. Red’s phone went off. My phone went off. But I didn’t bother picking it up. Dom and Red immediately checked theirs.


‘OH. MY. GOD!’ shouted Dom as Red dropped her mouth open looking at her own phone.


I jumped up immediately to look over Dom’s shoulder.


It was a video sent by text. A sex tape video of Fred and student teacher aide Shay Abrams.


‘Turn it off!’ I screamed as my brother’s moans echoed around our carriage.


‘I’m trying! I’m trying!’ shouted Dom as she fumbled her fingers around her phone to turn it off. We all suddenly fell silent looking at each other. And in that silence we could hear echoes from the other carriages. They were freaking out and laughing about it. The video has gone viral!


‘Dudeee who sent it?’ asked Red


‘Who recorded it?’ I asked.


The trains suddenly started slowing down. We were arriving at King’s Cross Station.


‘Come on lets hurry and get off the train and find Fred’ I said trying not to feel angry. Nobody does that to my brother.


We found Fred and James standing near Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron. Fred looked nervous and guilty. James looked like he hasn’t stopped laughing.


‘THE MANN!’ said James shaking Fred’s hand in an awkward male embrace. Fred laughed awkwardly.


‘FREDDDY BOY!’ yelled Chris Gayle with a wink. Lucas Dierre went for a shake like James as well.


Everybody was looking at him while walking past. Guys were hi-fiving him and most girls were giving him the dirtiest looks I’ve ever seen. Some girls were winking.


‘Keep looking at him like that and I’ll make that your permanent face’ I snapped at a sixth year girl who was looking at Fred with absolute disgust. She whispered to her friend and they walked away, giggling nastily.


‘Fred what the hell were you thinking’ I snapped as Fred gave some other guy a handshake. ‘She’s a teacher aide!’


‘Bit rich from you don’t you think’ he scowled. I instantly fell silent.


‘Why are they all looking at us?’ asked Uncle Ron. Uncle Harry shrugged his shoulders.


‘Alright who’s missing?’ said Uncle Harry, as he did an embarrassing loud headcount.


‘Vic and Molly, by the looks of it’ said Uncle Ron. Victoire and Molly arrived looking smug. Something about their smug faces really ticked me off.


‘Okay lets go gang?’ said Uncle Harry


‘No wait, Cruz is staying with us for Easter’ said Fred


‘Well where is he?’ said Uncle Ron impatiently.


‘Coming, look there he is’ pointed Al. Cruz was walking towards us with a woman, who I only could assume is his mother, in tow.


‘Harry. Ron’ she said nodding at them.


‘Daphne, how are you?’ said Uncle Harry politely though his face looked otherwise.


‘Fine’ she said flatly ‘You look well’


‘Thank you’ said Uncle Harry stiffly.


‘Cruz has asked to spend Easter with you and your family. I hope that’s not too much of an imposition for you?’ she asked.


‘No’ said Harry ‘Of course he is welcome to spend Easter with us’


‘Blaise is getting released tomorrow morning. Cruz doesn’t know. We’d like to keep it that way until we come pick him up’ she said carefully.


I looked around to see if Cruz noticed what she just said. But of course, he was laughing and hi-fiving Fred with the rest of the stupid boys.


‘Oh Blaisey, that’d be fun. Long time no see’ said Uncle Ron with a complete fake smile.


Daphne Zabini ignored him.


‘Thank you Harry. Good to see you Ron’ she said formally as she left.


‘Crazy innit how she and Astoria are so different yet still sisters’ said Uncle Ron


‘Like Sirius and Regulus would have been I guess’ shrugged Harry.


‘Oi, so what about Ted, is he catching a ride with us too?’ asked Uncle Ron


‘Nah he said he’ll meet us back at the Burrow’ said Harry. Ron whistled through his fingers.


‘Potters/Weasleys and Zabini… Lets go!’ he said as we all walked out of the station.



‘Dominique do you want more pumpkin pasties?’ asked Nana Molly


‘No thanks Nana, I’m super full’ said Dom smiling. Nana Molly ignored her and dropped 3 more pasties onto her plate, which Dom mumbled her thanks.


‘Guys I don’t know why you aren’t eating more’ said James as he grabbed them off Dom’s plate and stuffed them into his mouth. ‘Nana Molly’s cooking is to die for’


‘James chew with your mouth closed!’ snapped Aunt Ginny from across the table.


‘Fred’ I whispered. He instantly heard me. It’s a twin thing.. ‘Come here’


Fred took a seat next to me as Red and Dom finished eating and left the table.


‘Are you okay?’ I asked.


‘Course I am’ smirked Fred ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’


‘I don’t know, because maybe your privates were out and about for all of Hogwarts to see’ I snapped


‘Most have anyway’ he laughed


I frowned ‘Seriously dude aren’t you angry?’


‘Angry?’ he said  ‘No. I couldn’t care less if everybody saw me naked. But I feel guilty as shxt’




‘I hope the professors don’t own muggle phones or catch a student watching it. I just don’t want Shay doesn’t get fired over it’ he said looking worried


‘What about you!? You’re going to get in so much trouble if the Headmistress finds out, you’ll be expelled!’ I whispered loudly.


‘Ro, I don’t care’ he said flatly.


‘What?!- Wait what- What do you mean you don’t care?’ I spluttered


Fred looked at me with his serious face. We did that as kids. Look deeply at each other to let each other know, that what we said next was 100% honesty, no bullshxt.


‘I don’t want to finish school’ he said slowly ‘ I want to work’


‘Work where you moron? Who’s going to hire a school drop-out?’ I snapped


‘Ro...’ he said quietly. ‘I have to okay. Just trust me. I already have a job lined up’


‘You have to? What does that mean?’ I said angrily


‘Shay’s pregnant’ said Fred blankly. ‘And it’s mine’


I started coughing uncontrollably.


‘Pull yourself together you’re causing a scene’ snapped Fred as he thumped my back.


‘What the hell do you mean she’s…pregnant’ I whispered the last part.


‘She has a kid, a bun in the oven? I don’t know Ro, how else do you want me to put it?’ shot Fred


‘But how?!’ I spluttered


‘Here watch this tutorial video on how to make a baby’ he said sarcastically showing me his phone with their sex tape. ‘What do you mean how? How else? I’ve been seeing her for ages’


‘One. Ew’ I said smacking the phone away ‘Two. How old is she?’


‘A year older than us. But what does that matter’ shrugged Fred.


‘Isn’t that statutory rape?’ I asked


‘No you idiot’ he said crossly ‘She’s a year older than me. You didn’t seem to care when it was Teds tongue down your throat. And he is a year older than us.


‘Do you-Do you love her?’ I asked ignoring his last comment ‘Are you going to get married?’


‘I don’t know’ he sighed. ‘I do love her though’


‘Why don’t you propose then?’ I demanded


‘Because… Because she’s already married to somebody else’ mumbled Fred


‘Oh Fred… what have you done’ I said slowly banging my head on the table.


‘ I screwed up my life’ said Fred angrily. ‘I know that already. Either support and help me Ro, or just shut up’ he got up and stormed away.


Leaving me feel like complete asshxle.



I desperately wanted to talk with someone about Fred and Shay, but I knew I couldn’t betray Fred like that. But it’s like, he doesn’t know by telling JUST ME then running away from me when I want to talk about it is like me being a ticking time bomb. I can’t hold it in I needed to rant and explode.


Usually this is what I run to Cruz for. I wasn’t ready for the talk between us but I needed his friendship at the moment.


I found Cruz with James and Al talking about the Quidditch match we have every year between our families for Easter.


‘Cruz’ I said ‘Can we talk?’


‘Yeah sure’ he said smiling. We took a lap walk around the backyard garden.


‘Everything okay?’ he asked.


I was nodding and then I just kind of blurted everything out.


‘WHOA WHOA RO STOP BREATHE’ he said as I started hyperventilating. He was biting his knuckles pacing up and down looking just as stressed as I was.


‘He messed up his life Cruz’ I said with tears streaming down my cheek.


‘Hey’ he said crossly. ‘He didn’t Ro, he, I don’t know but I know one thing, a baby won’t mess up his life’


‘How do you know?’ I asked still crying.


‘Because a baby is a blessing. And whether she decides to keep it or not we’ll be here for him. Either way we’ll support him no matter what and that’s all that really counts.’ He said


I nodded.


‘Um.. about us…’ I started but Cruz shook his head.


‘Ro, I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me. I should have never given you ultimatums’ he said wiping my tears off my face.


‘I honestly would love to be with you and make it official but I know how you feel about it. Well I don’t reallt…but I can just tell, you don’t like that idea of having to choose right now and that’s fine. I love being your friend just as much. Now if you want to be friends with benefits..’ laughed Cruz  ‘Then I’d totally be down for it too ‘


I knocked his arm with my shoulder laughing.


‘I’m not telling you to choose. I’m telling you to be happy. Do you Ro’ he said happily.


I kissed his cheek. He smiled sadly.


And then a Quaffle flew out of no where and hit Cruz in the face


‘What the-?’ he said tensing his face.


‘Sorry... I missed’


Ted was standing a couple of feet behind us smirking. He didn’t look sorry at all that it hit Cruz squarely on the face. He was wear a white shirt with rolled up sleeves that made his arm muscles look fierce. As per usual he refused to look at me.


‘Sorry for what?’ asked Cruz standing up as well. ‘Sorry’s are for mistakes. I’ve seen you drop the Quaffle that much, that it’s not longer a mistake Lupin, it’s just how you play’


Cruz threw the ball back with so much force that I didn’t think Ted would catch it. He did.


‘Nice pass. Must be that pre season Slytherin training drills’ said Ted rolling his eyes.


‘Good-bye Lupin’ chuckled Cruz turning his back. Ted turn to look at me. He’s eyes were burning into mine. They looked so sad, or maybe they did just to me. He looked like he wanted to say something but then stopped himself and turned around.


I scowled.


‘Come on lets go find Fred’ said Cruz ‘Make sure his not killing himself somewhere’


We walked back to the burrow and was just about to enter the kitchen access door when we heard yelling from inside.


‘I DON’T CARE DAD!’ snapped James


‘What do you mean you don’t care? What have we done wrong with raising you James?  Where did we go wrong?’ said Harry


‘Seriously again? The where did I go wrong speech? You didn’t do anything wrong’ said James angrily ‘Being me isn’t a mistake in your parenting. It’s who I am’


‘So being a low-life, with absolutely no ambition, is you is it?’ shouted Harry


‘I’m not a low life Harry’ scoffed James ‘I have ambition. Just because I’m not following in your Chosen One footsteps doesn’t mean I’m a screw up’


‘Oh yeah? Tell me what happened last year when you failed seventh and had to repeat again? You get distracted and give everything up your mother and I worked hard for you to achieve. Last year it was drugs and alcohol and this year some girl apparently’ snapped Harry


‘I’m going to finish this year. And once I do, I promise you- I won’t be your problem anymore’ said James


‘Why not start now’ said Harry hotly.


‘You’d like that wouldn’t you’ snapped James.


‘If it motivates you to stop drinking and smoking then yes James’ said Harry


‘I’m not doing either I told you!’ said James angrily ‘ But of course you don’t believe me, you never will. I’m done with you’


‘James…’ said Ginny softly


Cruz whirled me back in time as James slammed opened the kitchen door and stormed out.


‘Great Harry! Go fix it!’ snapped Ginny


Harry ignored her and walked out of the door entrance from the main room.


‘I’d better go see if he’s ok’ said Cruz running after James.


I heard Aunt Ginny cry and it broke me. Aunt Ginny never cries. She’s the toughest one out of all my aunts.


‘Aunt Ginny’ I said timidly as I walked into the kitchen. ‘Are you okay?’


‘Oh’ she squeaked ‘Hi Roxanne, I’ll be fine’ she said drying her tears.


I sat down in front of her and touched her hands. She looked up at me.


‘Aunt Ginny, he really has changed…’ I said honestly ‘I haven’t seen him touch drugs or alcohol this year…’ Ginny smiled but it was a pity smile. That adult pity smile that pretty much says you don’t know what you’re talking about but thanks anyways smile.


I frowned.


‘Aunty, he really hasn’t’ I said forcefully


‘You’re not lying to me to protect him?’ she asked. I shook my head.


‘Aunty it’s because he is dead set head over heels inlove with Dani’ I said.


Ginny looked at me with a genuine smile. ‘Are you sure? Who’s Dani?’


‘Danika Ivans, she’s a girl in Lily’s year level’


‘The one that was going out with Al? James stole a girl off his brother? I’ll kill him’ said Ginny suddenly


‘What?!’ I spluttered ‘No Aunty, oh god no, James would never do that to Al’ I said though I highly doubted it.


‘Al was just using Dani to cover being gay with Scorpius. But now that they’re happy and out together, James went for Dani. Trust me when I say this. I’ve never seen James inlove before. It’s weird. James usually just dates and moves on. He’s whipped now’ I said laughing.


Ginny thought to herself. She then sighed sadly.


‘My poor baby. We were judging him so hard from last year’s mishaps that we didn’t listen when he said he changed.’ She said as she started crying again.


‘I didn’t think it were possible either’ I said patting her hand ‘But people change. James did. Al certainly did.’ Ted changed... Cruz changed.. Fred changed… I thought to myself… I changed… we all changed this year…


‘Yeah I guess so’ she said smiling ‘Thank you for telling me the truth Ro and being honest with me’


‘You’re welcome Aunty, but I did it for James. I know he just wants to be heard with his own voice and not the one you want to hear.’ I said carefully. She nodded.


‘So how are you and Teddy going?’ She asked kindly. My heart sank.


‘Umm… ‘ I said ‘We’re kind of going through something at the moment’ I said looking down at my hands.


Ginny nodded and didn’t press on thank God.


‘I’ll go find and talk to Harry about James’ She walked out of the kitchen following Harry’s footsteps to the front door entrance.


‘Hey Ginny do you know where Harry- Oh’ said Teddy as he walked into the kitchen. I just realised I was sitting alone on the table. Usually Nana is always in here?! Where does Nana Molly go when she’s not cooking?! aRRRGh I really really didn’t feel like being alone with Teddy at the moment. He stood there like an idiot hesitating between entering or exiting.


‘Don’t worry I’m just leaving anyway’ I said coldly.


‘You were here first, I’ll go’ said Teddy


‘No I’ll go’ I said forcefully


‘Alright fine, if that’s what you want’


And out of complete nowhere, and I mean complete nowhere. I just exploded.



‘Ro are you serious?’ he frowned.


‘YES I’M SERIOUS’ I snapped ‘You waltz in her and act as if I mean absolutely nothing to you. Actually you waltzed around school acting like I don’t mean anything. NO to be accurate you waltzed with Alana Berry like I don’t even exist!’ I puffed.


Ted looked to the ground.


I was trying to catch my breath from all the yelling when I finally calmed down and asked something I really knew I didn’t want to know. I told myself I wouldn’t ask. But it’s like word vomit again


‘How could you sleep with Alana Berry, when WE didn’t even know if we were on a break or broken up yet…’ I said quietly


Ted blinked and then sat himself down on the table next to me.


‘I didn’t sleep with her Ro…’ he said softly ‘I did things maybe I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t sleep with her…’


‘Asshxle I saw you!’ I said firing up again ‘I went to get drinks and I saw you playing with her, touching her, kissing her’


Ted bit his lip.


‘And then she dragged you into the temp bedroom, where you started stripping before you shut the door’ I said dangerously ‘DON’T lie to me’


Ted pulled his hand through his hair.


‘I know what I did was wrong and I’m so sorry Ro’ he said quietly ‘I’m not lying… didn’t sleep with her…’


I opened my mouth to yell at him again when he suddenly stood up.


‘I went into the room with her with every intention of sleeping with her’ he said quietly pacing up and down the kitchen ‘But I couldn’t. I didn’t even try. I was in that room for less than 2 minutes before I left’


I rolled my eyes


‘Ask Al for proof if you don’t believe me’ he said


‘Why would Al know?’ I said


‘I drank whisky straight from the bottle he was serving, as soon as I ran out the door. I felt so guilty I couldn’t think properly. Alana came out to slap me in the face infront of Al’ he said shrugging his shoulders. ‘I deserved it too, I just left her there with no explanation’


‘Al asked what had happened and I told him’ he said quietly.


‘And what did he say?’ I asked


‘He just told me to finish the bottle of firewhisky because there’s no point in ruining your night just because I ruined mine’


‘Why would he say that?’ I frowned.


‘Al is a good kid, he has your best interest at heart’ said Ted smiling slightly ‘He knew I was going to try find you’


‘Why didn’t you?’ I said


‘Because he was right. You looked happy drinking and laughing with Zabini. I couldn’t wreck your night just because I screwed mine’


I didn’t say anything.


‘Why her?’ I said stubbornly


‘I was jealous’ he admitted ‘I swear only you can make me that crazy jealous. I can’t stand even looking at Zabini now without wanting to punch him in the face. I’m 100% sure he feels that exact same way about me. Alana was just there at the time and I knew how much it would have bothered you’


‘I honestly didn’t have any feelings about her though’ he said seriously ‘ I was legitimately practising metamorphagus with her all those other times. I know she was flirting with me and maybe I enjoyed the attention a little but a lot of girls flirted with me before she came along. You just never noticed. I told you Ro, I really don’t care about anyone else. I made out with Alana because I was immature and tried to get back at you for kissing Zabini’ he said quietly ‘I’m an idiot okay’


‘Sorry rewind abit’ I said frowning ‘A lot of girls flirt with you and you enjoy it?’


‘No’ he said ‘I enjoyed Alana’s attention at the time…’


‘And again why her?’ I snapped ‘This conversation is making hard not to throw something at you right now’


‘The same reason you enjoy Zabinis I guess... Because it’s there and its something you know you shouldn’t like but can’t help it’ he said. I stayed quiet.


‘I know you don’t want to be with me right now, and I don’t blame you’ he said sadly. ‘I also know, with the way I’ve acted it’s just pushed you further from me and pretty much straight into Zabini’s arms’


‘I’m not a toy, I haven’t been pushed around into anyone’s arms, thank you very much’ I snapped


‘I know you have feelings for him Ro’ he said quietly ‘and it’s fair enough as well, I neglected you and he was there for you…’


I stayed quiet.


‘But I promise you this, I won’t stop trying to win what we had back… if I have to start all over again so be it… I love you too much to let you go…unless you can tell me that you love him or someone else then I’ll leave you alone… as long as you’re happy’ he said softly.


I stood up.


‘I have to go to bed, It’s getting late and I’m getting tired’ I said


‘Ro’ said Teddy as he grabbed hold of my hand


I turned around. His eyes were watery. He was crying…


‘I’m so sorry’ he said softly as he held my head between his hands.


He kissed my forehead and hugged me with his arms around my head.


I hestitated… I tried so hard not to give in but I just couldn’t help embrace him back.


Hugging Ted had a different feel to hugging Cruz. Cruz hugs were warm and bear-like. Ted’s hugs were protective and loving.


Even their smells were different. Teddy scent is of earthy and musky, whereas as Cruz is vanillary and cinnamon.


I just compared their smells together…


 I let go of the hug.


‘I- I need to rest’ I said pulling away.


Ted gently pulled me back and kissed me. God I missed his kisses.


‘Ahem’ said Cruz with his arms crossed.


Cruz was standing by the doorway with the smuggest face I’ve ever seen.


‘Sorry did I disturb something?’ he shot at Ted


Ted looked up to smirk at the ceiling. ‘Of course you’re here’ he chuckled


‘I’m going to bed’ I said quietly ‘Night all…’


‘Night’ they both said although neither of them looked at me. They were both glaring at each other. I walked out of the room when I heard their conversation. I stayed hidden behind the wall.


‘Bored with Berry are you?’ smirked Cruz.


‘Why? Are you interested in my seconds again? Snapped Ted


‘Your seconds?’ scoffed Cruz


‘I know you screwed Vic while I was still with her Zabini, I just really didn’t care…’ shrugged Ted ‘but you’re not taking Ro from me again’


‘Ro was never yours to begin with’ snapped Cruz. ‘She doesn’t love you get over it ‘


‘She doesn’t love you either’ shot Ted angrily


They stayed silent.


‘How about we just stay out of each others way and let her decided who she loves’ growled Cruz


‘Fine by me’ snarled Ted

Image created by kindlemesilly


Hi guys! Sorry i know this is totes lonnnng chapter. I was writing so much over the holidays i forgot to pace myself xD!

Happy new year btw!! 2k18 has to be better right? haha

Please don't forget to leave a review :)

Also some chapters of Al and Scorp will be coming up, as well as Fred and Shay.

In other news..I adore James and Dani, who's with me  xD??

Lots of love- kindlemesilly x

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