Okay, Callisto @ tda is officially Graphic God.



I walk in when the fight is in full swing. People are yelling, teachers are scrambling around, and the Great Hall looks like its been hit by the storm of the century. I start freaking out like everyone else, then I spot TJ and Audrey hiding under Hufflepuff table. I slide on my knees and duck to get to them. “Hey,” I huff.


“Your brother and Albus have gone mad!” Audrey cries, pointing at the two boys, who are clearly doing silent incantations and in short, duelling the shit out of each other. 


A gust a flames flies out of Albus’s wand, which Scorpius promptly dodges and then throws his own spell back. And then Headmaster Longbottom steps in between the two of them and throws them against the walls with his own spell. 


“Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter, Miss Potter, and Miss Malfoy. My office immediately!” He shouts. 


Me?! What did I do?


I wave awkwardly to TJ and Audrey, and then follow Lily Potter, my brother and his boyfriend out of the hall and up to the entrance to Headmaster Longbottom’s office. 


Somehow, he’s in there before us. We all walk in awkwardly and sit down in front of his desk. I gaze around and take in the large office, it’s a room that I’m all to familiar with. I was always the biggest prankster. Once again, the question of how I got my prefect role comes to mind. My eyes continue to look around. It’s a circular room, with the portraits of all of the previous headmasters and headmistresses of the school hanging from the indigo walls. There are plants everywhere, but that’s more of a Neville Longbottom thing. The desk he’s sitting at in front of us is in the centre of the room.


“You all know why you’re here.” Headmaster Longbottom says sternly. Lily and I shake our heads quickly, and Albus and Scorpius nod solemnly, with looks on their faces that suggest that they want to kill each other. 


“Lyra and Lily, you’re their siblings this matter concerns you, as usually students are expelled for such destruction.” Albus and Scorpius’s mouths turn into black holes.


“But, but… Uncle Neville you can’t!” Albus whines. 


“Headmaster or Professor Longbottom, Mr. Potter. And I won’t, but only unless you tell me why you’ve done this.”


The boys start yelling at the same time. “Quiet!” Professor Longbottom shouts. “Now, one at a time.”


Albus takes a deep breath. “At breakfast this morning, Scorpius told me that he cheated on me.” Albus snarls. Lily backs up in her chair awkwardly, sliding down. “With my own sister.”


Headmaster Longbottom starts tapping his quill and looks at the high ceiling. Clearly teenage sex is where he draws the line. 


“I won’t expel you boys, but if this happens one more time then you’re both gone. Lyra, Lily,” Headmaster Longbottom looks at us. “Keep an eye on them.”






“This day sucks.” I groan. 


“Mmm?” TJ moans next to me. Most people would think that it’s just a side effect of the hot making out with your soulmate, but I’ve known TJ long enough to know that he’s multitasking. Listening to me and making out with Ben at the same time. It’s a magical talent! …And I hate it.


I know this means, “why?” or “continue”, so I do. I continue. 


“Albus, Scorpius, Lily, and I got sent to Longbottom; I was late for three classes; I fell in a mud puddle on the way to Herbology; I lost my favourite sweater; and I got punched in the face.”


“Ly, that s- oh my Godrick Benny that feels so good.” TJ’s eyelids flicker with pleasure and Ben continues biting on TJ’s neck. 


I slam my books down angrily. “Can you just focus on my problem for five seconds?!” I leave them staring after me with my books all over the floor in front of them… I should probably go get those…



I stomp out of the abandoned classroom and slam the door behind me. It hits me in the back as it closes, pushing me onto my knees. “Ow,” I groan. 


I hear footsteps approaching from the other side of the door, and then it flies open, revealing a chuckling TJ. “Ly, was that supposed to be a dramatic exit?” He starts laughing harder, holding his stomach and falling down next to me.


My friends are all so fucking retarded it isn’t even funny.


“The word, ‘disrespect’ comes to mind.” I say with a bored tone. TJ just keeps laughing, doubling over and crying. By now he’s not making any sounds, and I actually become scared that he’s suffocating.


“TJ, are you o—?” He cuts me off with another boisterous bout of laughter, and I roll my eyes. “It seriously can’t be that funny.” This makes him laugh even harder.


“You are such an idiot!” TJ cries, laughing harder and harder by the minute. Next Ben comes out, and once he finds out what happened he starts laughing just as hard as TJ.


I didn’t plan that explanation for why I hate people, but there you go.


Well, all in all it was a shit day. 





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