“It has been a month and they’re still not speaking to each other.” Rose says to Edmund in disbelief. “Last time something like this happened, they made up after an hour.”

“What happened?”

“Albus lost a game. And being whiny Albus, he and Scorpius had an argument.”

“How old were they?”

“We were 11.”

Edmund has only known Scorpius, Albus, and Rose since their 2nd year, which explains why he’s never heard of this.

“We have to do something!” Edmund exclaims.

“But what?” Rose asks.

“I figured it out!” Edmund cries. “Lock them in a room together!”

“You’ve gone mental.” Rose says. “We can’t do that!”

Edmund groans. “Fine.”

“We need to think of something better.” Rose says.

“Force them to shag!”

“Yes because that will solve everything,” Rose says, sarcastically. “Christ Edmund, for a Ravenclaw you sure are daft.”

“Yeah well, the hat wanted to put me in Hufflepuff. But I argued until I got my way.”

“You actually argued with the sorting hat?!” Rose exclaims. “That’s so cool!”

“Why do you think I was a hat stall?” Edmund shakes his head.

“Oh yeah! That’s right, you were up there for six minutes and twenty one seconds.”

“Longest since Minerva McGonagall.” Edmund pointed out.

“Albus wasn’t a hat stall?” Rose asks him, because ‘P’ comes after ‘D’ in the alphabet.

“No. You have to be five minutes. Albus was 4 minutes and 40 something seconds.”

“Close call.”

“Being a hatstall isn’t bad! Wasn’t Mr. Potter- ah, ur, Harry, a hat stall?” Edmund always had trouble calling Harry by his first name, he is a muggleborn, but has an older wizard cousin who had explained most everything to him at a young age. So, as everyone without a family reputation did, he called Harry: Mr. Potter.

“No. Albus or Lily would have told me.” Rose says.

“Not James?” Edmund asks, surprised.

“Not James.” Rose confirms. “He’s always been more of an introvert.”

“But he’s Gryffindor.” Edmund says, pointing to the Gryffindor table.

“He said the hat considered him for Ravenclaw. Aunt Ginny almost fainted when she found out.” This statement from Rose causes Edmund to laugh a throaty laugh.

“Your voice cracked again.” Rose remarks, bored.

“Fucking damn it.” Edmund wines.

“What is it with you, Scorpius, Albus, and language? Is it a boy thing or is it a Dalfpot thing?”


“Dante, Malfoy, Potter, combined. Like a three way.”

“Double thumbs up for saying something against the code of conduct of Granger-Weasley!” Edmund says, giving Rose the promised thumbs.

“Wait, what?!” She spits.

“Three way.” Edmund points out.

“Shoot!” Rose whines.

“Shoot? Do you not know how to cuss Rose Weasley?”

“Of course I do, I just don’t like to.”

“Wait, what were we talking about before sorting?!” Edmund asks, confused. Rose answers even though it was more a question for himself.

“Albus and Scorpius.”

“Oh, yeah! Uh. Seeker and snitch, loser kisses winner?” Edmund suggests. Rose rolls her eyes.

“I hate you.”

“Okay, coin toss, loser kisses winner.”

“You’re far from the goal!” Rose tells Edmund.

“Hey, that's my catch phrase!”

“Not anymore, and it's not even a catch phrase. Wait! I think I have an idea!”

“Well, what is this fabulous idea?” Edmund asks.

“We can tell them to make up.”

“Yeah, we’re doomed.”

Authors Note:

I know this is the shortest chapter ever, and it's mostly dialogue, but I promise next chapter will be more interesting!

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