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Chapter Six: Hit me Baby One More Time (title pirated off of Britney Spears) Author: TomFoolery
They had been organizing the ball for a few months and Hermione talked about nothing but Draco and what she was going to wear. Cassie and Janelle were satisfied that they had transformed her at last into a recognizable girl. On the night of the ball, Draco paced and paced around the room he shared with Hermione. How was he supposed to tell her that his father was shipping him off the next morning to be married to Pansy Parkinson? He and Pansy had been childhood sweethearts, but nothing could top his love for Hermione. “Oh Hermione!” he wailed. “I love you! I LOVE YOU!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs as he beat his chest and tore at his face and hair. She walked into the room wearing a bath towel and wringing water out of her freshly washed hair gazing at Draco’s hot hot body. “What is it you’re saying pookie bear?” “Nothing…” Draco whispered as he walked over to Hermione and lovingly caressed her face. How beautiful she was, how very beautiful… he thought to himself in agony as he stalked out of the room. As he was stalking away from their room, Janelle and Cassie were coming around the corner and heard him screaming “WHY! WHY must I marry Pansy?! Oh, the humanity!” Janelle and Cassie gasped and ducked from his view as he rounded the corner. It was almost like the theme song from Mission Impossible should have been playing in the background as they looked at each other and clasped their hands over their mouths. “We have to tell Hermione!” Cassie screamed as Janelle shut her hand over Cassie’s mouth. “I know, she will be heartbroken! I’m going to hate telling her!” Janelle exclaimed. They looked at each other earnestly for a few moments before they shrugged and said simultaneously “Oh well, what can you do?” and skipped off into Hermione’s room. As they walked in, Hermione was dousing herself in perfume and Janelle and Cassie stepped back, choking on the fumes. “How do I look Drakie?” she said seductively as she turned around. “Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” “Is that any way to greet friends?” they both spat at her. “No, I’m sorry, I was just wanting to talk to my fiancé, my Drakie poo, my reason for living, my soul, my heart, my lover boy and confidant, my passion-man-“ “We get the picture” Cassie cut in with a look of disgust on her face. “Anyway, about your boy Draco, he’s engaged to someone else sweetheart.” Janelle added bluntly. They left the room feeling badly for Hermione but not badly enough that they wanted to miss the pre-ball banquet. Hermione sank to the ground as if she had just been stabbed in the heart and mortally wounded by their words. “I want to die!!!” she moaned and screamed and kicked out and frothed at the mouth like a mad animal and all that other good stuff. She was ripping her hair out, sobbing over how she wouldn’t be the one to gaze longingly into those passionate, devilish blue eyes, it would be someone else, and screaming until her face began to turn blue over how she was going to kill herself. And she did. Two minutes later Draco walked back into the room and saw her body laying there, a bottle of poison, half-empty, lying on the ground near her. Draco sighed as he looked at her dead body. “Oh well” he sighed again as he downed the rest of the poison for himself. The freaking end.
looneylupin (Cassie) and TomFoolery (Janelle) take a bow and walk out of this terrible story, still giggling fit to burst.

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