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gorgeous CI by aurevoir @ TDA.


There is no greater agony,
Than bearing an untold story inside you.


Most days, you do not even understand why you tried to love.


She called you yellow and it annoyed you.

You remember when you first met her, and it was completely by accident. She was irrelevant; there was no point to her. She sat there, occupying space.

It would not be long before you would look for her during your later visits.


You hated the way he looked at you and wished he didn’t. But you went along with it. Oh Gellert, he would laugh and you would reply by slightly grazing your hand against his. He would look at you intently with a slight pinkish tinge to his skin. You knew you had to finish and leave, before it got too serious. But you were so close and so desperate for power, (Isn’t everyone?) that it blinded you.

Yet no.


She had always been the biggest mystery. The actions behind the dirty locks of hair, the meaning behind her unsaid words.
And mystery has always attracted you.


She would peek through the door and have the audacity to ask quietly, Albus, can I have some water? and you would seethe because it would distract him from his work – your work (Your mistake). You would watch him go up lazily and would turn your attention to her, and she would look at you with those watery blue eyes.

Yellow, she had whispered.

You looked down and at your coat pocket and looked at the Iris it held. Your eyes wandered from her excited ones to the yellow flower.

And so, before you left, you left it for her on the table.

At the time you had left it because of the rare pity you had for someone. You thought it was the least you could give her, after her mother’s passing. You thought it would be the first and last time you would have something to do with her.

This story has always been about your mistakes.


Another day, you came to the house and looked for Albus.

You found her instead. Ariana.

You had ventured much further than a visitor should into a house uninvited, but you couldn’t help but go further in. Perhaps Albus had another theory!

When she saw you, she closed her eyes. You had startled her. Her fingers went one, two, three and her eyes opened.

For the first time, there was something else besides the Hallows you wanted to discover.


You spent most of your time at their house, even when Albus wasn’t there. You told him, I will keep on working, and he would smile before heading out. You had watched his concern for his sister dramatically decrease the more time you spent with him. Perhaps it was because your shared obsession of mastering the Hallows was soaring far too high. It was good that there were no distractions, nothing that would make his trust in you waver or your efforts go to vain.

You almost felt bad for him.

But this? This was a misunderstanding.


She was just fourteen.


It was raining hard.

Stupid Muggle Town, you mumbled. The lights were gone and the only light came from your wand. You called Albus’ name, and saw a blurred figure approach. You walked towards it and stumbled slightly in the dark. Everything smelled like wet salt.

Except for her.

She was one of those unreal things, the ones that were not from this world. She was so young she was almost old, and it was her hair that gave the effect. Was it then, when that heart of yours had fallen in love with that heart of hers? (You are still unsure.) She was trembling slightly, so you walked closer to her. Are you alright? you whispered. She stepped back, moving away from you and nodded. You supposed that maybe that was too forward of you, in consideration of her age but you could not help but feel hurt. (Was this hurt? Intriguing.)

And then the lights came back, much too soon, along with Albus.

Albus, you said, stepping back from her. The rain is being rather troublesome, is it not?

It is quite horrid, he agreed. Ariana love, what are you doing up? Come, I’ll take you to your room. You watched him hold her hand and walk away with her.

You still think you heard her say goodbye, Yellow.


You curtsied to Albus like always, to make him smile and knew your job was done when he did. He was too nice and you were too much of a coward and that was the truth. You liked to believe that you were above him but he was the better man.

You should not have confused him with your gentle smirks and sly moves, but it was the one thing you knew best – manipulation.

Years later when you would be jailed in Nurmengard, they would have tried to add manipulation to your accounts of crime.

But your largest punishment would have already have happened.


The other Dumbledore came and it changed everything.

He started looking after her and you were getting close to fulfilling it, so so close to finding the Hallows. You and Albus would stay up late trying to fit in just a couple more minutes, precious minutes which would have changed your destiny (They still did, anyway.)

The days were getting stressful and hot, and you could see that Aberforth was not happy, and neither was Albus. They had been arguing, most probably about you. The boy did not like you, you could tell that by the way he looked at you. He thought you were trouble. Had he heard at Hogwarts about tales of your deeds back at Durmstrang? It was likely he had. On more than one account had you heard Albus explain to him that you had felt trapped in Durmstrang.

You almost feel bad now that you had treated your friend like something much less than a friend. Albus Dumbledore was after all, someone you used.


Avada Kedavra! you shouted, and Aberforth dodged.

How had it come to this? You had never expected to be in a position dueling your friend and his brother and –

None of them realized when she came in, except for you. It was the bright lights. The yellow sparks that were coming from Albus’ wand. Maybe you shouldn’t have made the move towards her. Because Albus saw the distress and hesitation in your steps and in that moment you witnessed something you never had seen before in his eyes.


(Of course he knew. Had you really been that obvious? Oh Gellert, how stupid and bad-mannered you have been.)

You can’t remember whether or not you fought to keep the pain in, when you saw her fall. All you remember is that the three of you had sent spells and when she fell you counted like she had once done. One, two, three. She didn’t open her eyes. You thought you knew whose curse it had been, but that was too much of a burden.

You left immediately after her death.

Goodbye, Yellow.

The floor was cold like always and you blamed yourself for it. Your enemies had to be in the worst conditions and now you yourself were one, a prisoner, a captive. A murderer, a criminal.

What? You spat at her. She was watching you from the door, slightly creeping in. If she took one more step she would be clearly in view.

Yellow, she whispered. You watched her hold out her hand, which held the Iris.

Keep it, you seethed.


You would feel bad later, but by that time she would have already left. You know that when she comes again, you will be extra nice to her, but that never happens anyway. The dreams she made you dream will trouble you forever.

You knew that she wasn't truly there, but you liked her visiting all the same. She didn't say much and you were too weak to say anything either. You always tried imagining how she would look if she had aged with you but you never could and all you ever saw was her small fragile face, which was by no means beautiful though nor was it ugly. She was simply Ariana, and you her Yellow.


Dear Ariana,

I know that you cannot read and will never get this as it is not being written but merely thought of in my head, which is most unfortunate. Though we hardly spoke and when we did it was little, your demeanor had me entranced. I do not think you were from this world, nor were you meant to be. Perhaps where you are now you will be truly free. Though your brother and I went on about how we felt trapped, I think you were most definitely more trapped than we ever were.

You probably have never loved me but something tells me if things were different and we had more time and if I were not Gellert Grindelwald, then you might have. But I will not complain because if I were not Gellert Grindelwald I would have never met you.

I am unable to sleep at night, not only because of the poor conditions but also because of the guilt that I have felt ever since the day I left. I think you know why. I am sorry. It was not meant for you or anyone really.



When he came, you denied ever having the Wand, because you did feel the guilt. It was for Albus, but for Ariana too. You came and changed their lives – you took them. At last the time had come, to pay your debt, to make the move for the greater good.

When he killed you, you only saw green.


She should have called you green.


Author’s Note:

I’d like to thank my wonderful betas, nott theodore and FredWeasleyIsMyKing. Two wonderful friends, and two amazing betas. If it were not for their advise and expertise, this piece could not have finished. Thank you so much. The quote at the top of the chapter (There is no greater agony, Than bearing an untold story inside you.) does not belong to me, but instead belongs to Maya Angelou. I just thought it was very inspirational and went great with the story.

Thanks again, for reading. It means a lot. I had a lot of fun writing Gellert in this, and thank you Kiana for the wonderful challenge.

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