thank you so incredibly much to my best friend, Zoee, who made this amazing chapter image of the gorgeous Cyrus Palmer

Even though my mum was virtually nonexistent for nearly my entire life and I saw our old, crotchety house elf more often around the house than I did my dad, I like to think they still each gave me some good genes. I got my mum’s golden brown hair that thankfully, usually managed to do what I wanted with minimal effort on my part as well as my dad’s rare, but almost always, infectious smile. By far though, the trait that I valued the most that I inherited from them was my inability to get bad hangovers. My dad would be able to go out with his coworkers, have an absolutely obscene amount of whiskeys, and then work a fifteen hour shift the next morning with no problem.

While the rest of my friends typically suffered terribly, I was always in the clear. Silas was normally a zombie after a night of heavy drinking and it was generally impossible to get a full sentence out of him until around dinnertime and Hazel would shut herself up in our room with her hangings closed and an eye mask on because even the slightest bit of light would cause her to whine and hiss in pain.

I considered myself lucky to only have a small, dull headache after how much I drank the previous night when I began to stir the next morning. The headache I could easily handle. What I couldn’t handle was the heartbeat I felt against my cheek that was coming from someone’s bare chest. My own heart began to pound as memories of the night before came rushing back to me all at once.

I couldn’t decided if I wanted to cry or scream when I realized that James and I had sex and in a fucking broom closet of all places. I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to get used to the light, and was taken aback by the familiar green, silk hangings. I crooked my head up in confusion and instead of seeing James Potter’s sleeping face, I was met with Cyrus’ clear blue eyes and I nearly pissed myself.

What the actual fuck.

I was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was shirtless and that I was half naked. I had absolutely no recollection of us having sex yet all signs pointed to the fact that we did. For a moment, I seriously considered just dropping out of Hogwarts all together and quitting drinking because I had officially hit a new low. James and Cyrus in the same night? I’m 115% sure that Silas would have a heart attack and check me into a convent if he ever found out.

Before I could let out a shriek of surprise and self hatred, the curtains flew open to reveal a very gleeful, evil looking Mitch. “Well, well, well, what did you crazy kids get up to last night?” He asked with an extremely mischievous looking grin on his face that made me groan into Cyrus’ chest.

“We didn’t do anything,” Cyrus informed him and my head popped in surprise.

“We didn’t?” I croaked with wide eyes causing him to raise an eyebrow at me before explaining.

“Much to my dismay, no. You came stumbling in here at around 4 AM last night and started taking your clothes off and then just passed out on top of me.”

I let out a sighed of relief at knowing that I wasn’t as much of a slag as I originally thought. I mean, I still shagged James but that was just something I was currently banishing from my thoughts.

“Very uneventful. I’m disappointed in both of you,” Mitch commented boredly and I rolled my eyes as I sat up so I was no longer lying across Cyrus’ toned chest.

“Where’s Silas?” I asked, pulling back the hangings on the side of the bed opposite of Mitch to see that my brother’s bed was empty and unmade.

“If he would’ve been up here and seen you two, Cyrus would currently be in the hospital wing so my guess is that he’s passed out in the common room.” Mitch responded and I snorted at how right he probably was. I pulled myself out of the bed to find some clothes to put on, not caring that they were both seeing me in nothing but my lacy, charcoal bra and underwear. Mitch had seen me in various stages of nakedness in the past when I would be sneaking out after a night with Cyrus, and Cyrus, well, he’s obviously seen all of me many, many times so I didn’t care that their eyes were on me now.

“So what did you do with the rest of your night?” Cyrus asked me as I picked up one of Silas’ quidditch tee shirts off the floor to put on.

“More like who did she do,” Mitch corrected and I froze with the shirt barely over my head as I spun around to face them.

“Excuse me?”

“Hickey on your right boob.” Mitch pointed out with a smirk and I shoved Silas’ shirt the rest of the way down as I turned my back to them, internally cursing. I was going to fucking kill James Potter.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied as my mind flashed back to the memory of his lips in that exact place just a few hours ago. Goddamn him. Part of me wished I hadn’t remembered any of it, but I did. All of it. And it was good, earth-shatteringly good, and it made me want to take a cold shower and then immediately light myself on fire afterward.  

“Ah, then why is your face flushing,” Cyrus questioned and I bit my lip in frustration at my cheeks heating up as I thought about the previous night and I pretended to make myself busy in the search for a pair of sweatpants to throw on.

“And why are you refusing to look at either of us?” Mitch demanded in a smug sort of way that made me want to punch him.

I snapped my head up, making sure to individually look both of them square in the eye before saying, “Fuck off.”

That’s when my body was suddenly lifted from the ground faster than I could even think and I was suspended in air by my ankle. I let out a shrill shriek. “PUT ME DOWN!”

“C’mon, Jord. We’re all friends here. Just tell us who you shagged and this’ll all be over.” Mitch bribed with his wand out, telling me he was the one that cast the jinx. Cyrus was still in his bed, but now propped up into a sitting position with his hands folded in an attentive position, clearly interested as well as entertained.

I kicked and thrashed, attempting to do something to break myself down even though I knew it was no use. “This is cruel!” I bellowed. “You know I don’t like heights!”

“You’re like two feet off the ground, Mose” Cyrus pointed out, earning a very angry middle finger from me.

“LET ME DOWN!” I ordered, trying to make my voice sound intimidating but unfortunately that’s fairly difficult when you’re hanging upside down and you’re not wearing pants.

“No can do, love. We’re both invested now in finding out who you spread your legs for so I suggest you tell us or else you’ll have to wait until Hazel comes to free you.” Mitch threatened and I let out a snarl of frustration because we both knew that with the amount that Hazel drank we wouldn’t be seeing her for about another six hours.

“Who says I spread them for anyone? Maybe I just got in a wicked fight last night and got punched in the boob causing it to bruise which you mistook for a hickey,” I suggested and in response I suddenly sailed even higher in the air causing me to let out a sharp intake of breath.

“Let’s not play games here, Jordan. Just tell us who he was,” Cyrus said dully and my head was beginning to pound from all the blood rushing to it.

“He? I never said it was a he. Who knows? I wouldn’t be opposed to some girl on girl--” I started to say, pretty much just throwing out some bullshit in an attempt to get myself out of the conversation, before Mitch cut me off.

“As pleasing as that image is to my brain, cut the crap and just tell us.”

“Nope.” I answered shortly and stubbornly and Mitch jerked his wand upwards making me give a small shriek.

“What in the hell is going on?” Scorpius’ confused voice said, entering the room, and I perked up at the possibility of someone that could rescue me.

“Scorpius! Help me!” I pleaded and tried to swing my body his way to no avail.

“We’re trying to torture her for information on who fucked her last night.” Cyrus explained to him as if it was a completely normal thing to be occurring.

I craned my neck in Scorpius’ direction and narrowed my eyes when I saw that he was wearing the exact same outfit he’d been wearing the night before. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he spent the night with the birthday girl and the thought revolted me. “Same clothes as last night, Scorp? Have anything to share with the crowd?” I inquired, quirking up an eyebrow to which he shot me an impassive yet considering look.

“Carry on.” He replied simply before retreating to the bathroom to most likely wash the smell of sex with good for nothing Gryffindors off his skin. Then again, I probably had the same smell but his was worse. James Potter may be an arrogant prat but Rose Weasley straight up sucked ass. I shouted some colorful words back at him to which I predictably got no response.

“If you don’t let me down in ten seconds I’ll scream,” I threatened, now just completely frustrated at the lack of progress I was making in my quest to have both feet planted on the floor.

“You’re in the Slytherin dorms. You act as if screams of torture are anything out of the ordinary.” Cyrus commented, making a fair point but it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.

“Let me down,” I whined as I began to feel slightly dizzy from being upside for so long.

“Just tell us and this could all be over.” Mitch pressed and I groaned tiredly.

“Were both of your nights so pathetically boring that you feel the need to interrogate me about my sex life?”

“Actually yes,” Cyrus admitted, shooting Mitch a dark glare. “Mitch decided it was a fantastic idea to beer bong straight vodka and he ended up puking all over himself making it my responsibility to drag his passed out, vomit smelling ass back to the dorm.”

Mitch looked more impressed with himself than anything and only vaguely sheepish. “Charming,” I said sarcastically, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

“Says the girl that couldn’t even remember if she’d shagged her best mate after she shagged someone else,” Mitch reminded and Cyrus gave him a fist bump in agreement causing me to roll my eyes.

“Seriously let me the fuck down.”

“Not until you tell us.”

My patience was wearing thin and my head was starting to feel heavier and heavier with each passing second. There was only so much longer I could be suspended by my ankle before I would pass out.

“Let me down.”

The walls began to spin to the point where I felt like I was going to throw up.


“Let me down.”

I could feel all the blood pounding in my head.


“Let me down.”

Spots began to appear in my vision.


I couldn’t even distinguish who had responded as whoever spoke sounded like he was miles away.

“Please, let me dow--” My voice faltered and faded off.

Mitch and Cyrus shouting “Oh shit” in unison was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

My head felt like it had been repeatedly beat by a hammer for like nine years straight and the light was positively blinding when my eyes fluttered open. It took a few seconds to realize that I was in the hospital wing and my friends were surrounding my bed, but no one, with the exception of Cyrus, noticed that I was awake.

His eyes lightened and he opened his mouth to say something but I put a finger to my lips to silence him. He nodded slightly in understanding and went back to making designs in the air with his wand like I wasn’t there.

Mitch was flipping through a copy Quidditch Illustrated, most likely trying to find the pages that had the adverts for Beater bats featuring half dressed models because, well, why wouldn’t they be half dressed?

Hazel looked like she wanted to kill Mitch and was shooting him very seething looks, seemingly trying to get him to notice that she was angry with him.

Scorpius appeared to be working on homework and his hand flew across the parchment at record speed and I rolled my eyes at how predictable he was.

Silas was tapping his foot anxiously, biting his nails, and glancing at the clock every thirty seconds, assumingly because he was freaking out that I wasn’t up yet. All he needed to do was actually, you know, look at me to realize that wasn’t true.                                         

“Hazel, darling, if you could stop sending me murderous glares every five and a half seconds that would be fantastic.” Mitch drawled boredly, not even taking his eyes off of his magazine to look up at her.

“Don’t you dare ‘darling’ me, Mitchell Franklin Walker! You’re both bloody lucky that she didn’t break her neck when you dropped her.” Hazel shot back furiously, looking like she wanted to attack him.

“She’ll be fine! She’s only been unconscious for what, seven hours?” Mitch sighed, exasperated, and still no one had realized that I was awake, waiting patiently with my hands folded in my lap.

“She cracked her fucking head open, shit for brains.” Silas snapped angrily.

“Minor details.” Mitch responded boredly, waving him off and I had to resist a snort.

“I hope she kicks both of your sorry asses when she wakes up.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say to your best mates, Si.” Cyrus grinned and put a hand on his heart in mock hurt.  

“You’d both deserve it.”

“Okay you’re one to talk, Scorp. You came in, saw what was happening, and then went to take a shower,” Cyrus retorted, making a fair point.

“I’m not exactly sure that can be proven in any way.” Scorpius replied nonchalantly but avoided glancing in Silas and Hazel’s direction as they were both shooting him dangerous looks.

“You’re such an prat. We at least baked her something with our own four hands, blood, sweat, and tears to make up for it.” Mitch asserted dramatically. “Are you just gonna hope she has amnesia and doesn’t remember you walking out on her?”

“Pretty much.” He shrugged. “Besides, you think she’s going to forgive you for taking that picture?”

“Hell yeah, it’ll make her laugh.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” I announced, making my consciousness known for the first time causing all of their heads, minus Cyrus’, to snap my way in surprise.  

A chorus of excited and relieved ‘Mose!’’s rang through the air and I was engulfed in a massive hug with Hazel and Silas. Mitch and Scorpius tried to get in as well but both Hazel and Silas practically hissed at them until they backed away.

“How are you feeling?” Hazel fussed in a concerned, mothering tone as she gently rubbed my shoulder.

“Just dandy with the exception of feeling like someone dropped a cinderblock on my head.” I grumbled, shooting a very pointed look at Mitch and Cyrus who both shifted uncomfortably.

“Poppy said earlier you’d have to stay overnight for observation.” Silas informed me and I groaned.

“That’s such total bollocks,” I whined. “I’m fine.”

“We could practically see your brain a few hours ago,” Scorpius stated and I cocked my head to the side slightly in consideration. “And there’s still blood all over your shirt.”

“My shirt actually,” Silas reminded with a raised eyebrow.

“Now where is this picture?” I asked quickly, trying to move the subject away from Silas’ ruined bloody shirt and why I was even wearing it in the first place.

Mitch and Cyrus grinned and Scorpius tried to hide his smirk while Hazel rolled her eyes and Silas face palmed and shook his head.

The moving image they placed in my hand didn’t surprise me in the least bit. I mean I guess the effort they took to get it printed before I woke up was a little shocking, but other than that it was very typical. Basically, it was me knocked out on the hospital bed with my mouth hanging slightly open and bandages wrapped around my head with dried blood partially streaked down the one side of my face. Mitch and Cyrus were on either side of the bed, humping it while giving thumbs up to the camera, and toward the end Madam Pomfrey came running in the shot, looking horrified and shouting at them both.

All in all, it was actually pretty humorous but I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction so I just turned up my nose and handed it back to them. “Lovely.”

“We made you a cake,” Mitch told me in a slightly hopeful tone as they both looked kind of disappointed that I didn’t laugh at their picture. Cyrus gingerly grabbed a dull, open white box from beside my bed and placed it on my lap.

Mitch was a firm believer in the idea that cake could make anything better. Once when he got so belligerently drunk at a party that Scorpius’ parents threw over the summer and basically just fucked up everything he possibly could, he baked Uncle Draco and Aunt Astoria a cake that said ‘Sorry I blacked out, almost killed your house elf, and set your couch on fire’. Uncle Draco wasn’t going to forgive him at first, but when he found out the cake was red velvet with cream cheese icing, he embraced Mitch like a son.   

I was pretty impressed with the frosting decoration to be honest. The icing was blood red with little pink, cracked in half, brains all over it. In neat cursive writing it said ‘Sorry we broke your head’. I smiled a little bit at what I was about to do which they mistook for me being pleased with their effort. Although I was, I wasn’t going to let them get off that easy.

“Aw,” I cooed and beckoned them over as if I wanted a hug. They grinned, happy that I was forgiving them for cracking my fucking skull open but instead of embracing them like they thought I was going to do, I took a massive handful of cake and slammed it first into Cyrus’ face and then Mitch’s.

“You bitch,” Mitch sputtered, face covered in frosting, while Hazel, Scorpius, and Silas applauded in the background. Both Cyrus and Mitch were laughing, telling me that they weren’t pissed because they knew they deserved it.

“Give us a kiss then,” Cyrus proposed with a grin as he pursed his icing covered lips and I shrieked and shifted back on the bed, trying to get away from him.

“You’re going to get frosting on her bandages!” Hazel scolded while Silas forced a hunk of cake into his mouth and started chewing happily.

“Calm yourself, love,” Mitch told her and then swung a goodnatured arm around her shoulder and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek causing her whole face turned red, but not from the icing.

It was then that Poppy came running out of her office screaming, “What are you doing? This is a hospital not a one year old’s birthday party! Out! Out! Out!”

Hazel started apologizing profusely, Scorpius rolled his eyes, Silas and Mitch shoved more cake in their mouths before they lost their opportunity, but Cyrus leaned down to me, so close that his lips were almost brushing against ear. “We left you a little treat underneath your pillow,” He whispered with the corner of his lips pulling up before giving me a light kiss on my cheek, leaving a mark of frosting over the dried blood.

“It better be either chocolate, weed, or a flask of firewhiskey or else I don’t care.”

“Well it’s one of the three,” Cyrus promised with a smirk as Poppy shooed them all one-by-one from the hospital with them shouting their goodbyes to me until she slammed the door on them. She aimed her wand in my direction and effectively removed what remained of the apology cake before disappearing to her office grumbling and angrily muttering to herself on the way there.

She came out a bit later to give me a potion for the pain, which sort of helped, but made me feel a bit more loopy than anything. I wasn’t exactly complaining about that though. The rest of the hospital wing was empty with the exception of a second year Hufflepuff that tried to pull a leaf off of the Whomping Willow on a dare and ended up with two broken arms, broken ribs, and internal bleeding. The poor sod fell asleep early and when I figured Poppy had safely retired to her bed for the night, I finally pulled back my pillow to reveal a skillfully rolled joint and a green mini muggle lighter. I couldn’t help the smirk that was suddenly slapped on my face and I made a mental note to fully forgive them at some point tomorrow.

When I decided the time was right, I gently tucked the joint and lighter into my bra as my lack of pants resulted in a lack of pockets and I crept as silently as possible out of the hospital wing. Truthfully, I probably didn’t even need to be quiet considering the fact that Poppy was ancient and she slept like she was already dead. Also, if the second year happened to wake up, he wouldn’t even dream of ratting if he knew what was good for him.

It was late on a Sunday night so I wasn’t too concerned about getting caught especially because Scorpius was the prefect on duty and he almost always blew it off so there wouldn’t be anyone patrolling the hallways.

It was drizzling lightly outside which I was not fucking with so I dragged my ass to one of the corridors that had open air windows on the one side and no portraits on the other and fished out the lighter and joint from under Silas’ shirt.

Was it a good idea to get high right after suffering a head injury? Probably not, but I really couldn’t give a single shit and I struggled to light the lighter. We used to use our wands to produce the flame but it just resulted in one too many burning hair episodes so we had to cut that shit out real fast.

When I finally managed to light the damn thing after many failed attempts and frustrated cursing on my part, my shoulders relaxed and I inhaled.

“Are you smoking?” A somewhat familiar voice asked from behind me and I spun around so fast that I nearly gave myself whiplash. There before me stood a bemused Fred Weasley doned in grey sweat pants and a wrinkled black tee shirt. Fuck my life. Like honestly.

“No.” I muttered as a plume of smoke came out and wafted right in his face. He quirked an eyebrow as the corner of one of his lips twitched upwards. He surveyed my appearance and cocked his head to the side slightly in confusion.

I probably looked nothing short of ridiculous combined with batshit crazy. My head was still wrapped in bandages making it look like I escaped from the psych ward or some shit, I had dried blood and icing still on my face, and I was wearing nothing but Silas’ quidditch shirt that came to about mid thigh and also had blood on it. I was a real class act at the moment and it was going to be fairly impossible to explain.

Fortunately for me though, he didn’t even ask. Instead, he eyed the joint hungrily. “You want share half of that with me?”

“Aka, you want to steal half of my weed.” I corrected, but passed him the j regardless causing a gleeful smile to spread on his face. He kept it held between his lips as he plopped himself on the ground beneath the window and then patted the space next to him for me to join him. I simply stared at him with slightly narrowed eyes and he let out a sigh as he exhaled the smoke out.

“C’mon Moseley, despite what you might think, I’m not actually a terrible guy.” Fred insisted and I let out a small snort of doubt.

“I don’t trust you with the information you know,” I explained but slid down next to him regardless. I hated the fact that Fred knew that James and me were trying to break up Rose and Scorpius. He didn’t exactly strike me as the type of person that was able to keep a secret and if any of my friends found out I was working with James Potter they’d shit a brick. A very heavy brick. Then they’d throw said brick at me.

“Oh relax,” Fred said with a suddenly devilish grin as he handed me back the joint so I could take my hit.  “I’m not going to tell anyone about you and James shagging in a broom closet.”

His words took me completely off guard and I started coughing so violently that he had to hit my back because he was worried I was dying.

“I can’t believe he told you,” I sputtered and buried my head in my hands once my mini episode was over. James Potter was dead to me. While I got a cracked skull trying to keep my friends from finding out, he spills like it was nothing.

“He didn’t, but you just did,” Fred informed me with the joint dangling out of his mouth, looking highly devious and I nearly choked on my own spit as my head snapped up.

“Motherfucker,” I hissed and slapped a hand to my face. This was one of those times where I hated myself more than usual.

“At least he showed you a fun time,” Fred shrugged and he had a little mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “No offence, but you seemed like you needed a good lay.”

“Who said it was even good?” I scoffed unconvincingly.

“Well, the nail marks I saw raked down his back this morning were one indication,” He smirked in a way that told me was proud of his cousin and I rolled my eyes but was frustrated at my stupidity for leaving a trace of what we did on him. Then again, that bastard gave me a hickey so he was at fault as well.

“Maybe that was just my way of conveying that it was terrible and he needed to get off me,” I suggested lightly and Fred gave me a look that shut me up fairly quickly as I took my hit.

“So are you going to tell me why the hell you are pantsless, slightly bloody, bandaged, and smoking by yourself,” He asked finally.

“Ah, but I’m not smoking by myself, am I?” I countered with a little bitterness.

“Touché, Moseley.” Fred grinned as I handed the j off to him. “But seriously, I know Slytherins are a bit off but this is strange even for you lot.”

“I could ask you the same question minus the pantsless, bloody, and bandaged part. Why are you wandering the castle in the middle of the night?” I questioned as I looked at him through glassy eyes. I was starting to feel the effects and by glancing at him, I could tell he was too. He looked lazy and completely relaxed with a dopey looking smile on his face. His eyes were slightly vacant and a little bloodshot and I don’t know why but he reminded me of a puppy. I had an urge to pat him on the head for literally no reason whatsoever but I managed to hold it in.

“I was headed to the kitchens to have a sandwich and possibly a dozen or so chicken wings and I saw your name on the map--”

“What map?” I asked curiously, cutting him off, but the thing that really sparked my interest was the mention of chicken wings and a sandwich.

“James didn’t tell you about the map?” Fred responded, sounding kind of surprised, and he reached into his pocket to reveal a vaguely yellowed parchment. He unfolded it, tapped his wand, and mumbled the words, “I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.”

I watched open-mouthed in a dumbstruck way as an entire map of Hogwarts appeared before my eyes.

“So this is how he always knows where I am,” I muttered in awe as I spotted my name next to Fred’s in the exact spot where we were currently sitting.

“Yeah, the kid mastered the whole ‘pop-out-of-thin-air-and-scare-the-shit-out-of-people’ thing when he was like twelve. I think he gets some sort of weird, twisted pleasure out of it.” Fred explained with the last bit of the joint pinched between his fingers. We could both tell it was pretty much finished so he destroyed the evidence of it ever existing with his wand. “I’m feeling a case of the munchies coming on,” He said as he heaved himself to his feet. “Care to join me in the kitchens?”

“You read my mind, Weasley,” I grinned as he offered his hand down to me to pull me up. “I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking nachos and possibly some pancakes.”

Fred turned his head to give me a considering look and a little smile. “You know, you’re not half bad, Moseley.” He told me and swung a casual arm around my shoulder that surprisingly didn’t bother me.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”


“I’m getting emotional over my food right now, Weasley. Don’t be surprised if I start sobbing over my hash browns.” I warned him as I stared down at my mind blowing plate of amazingness.


“I’m having a relationship with these pancakes,” Fred moaned with a mouth full of food. “I know it’s just the first date but I think I’m going to propose. I’m ready for a lifelong commitment with these pancakes. Possibly children if they are so inclined.”

Fred and I managed to make it to the kitchens and it was definitely one of the better ideas we’ve had. The house elves were for some reason hilarious in our high state and I think we both laughed to the point where we couldn’t breathe for about five minutes straight when they greeted us at the door. We ordered every type of breakfast food we could imagine along with a ridiculously huge platter of loaded nachos that practically made me weep when I saw them.

I finished my last bit of French toast and flopped myself down on the bench with my head against Fred’s thigh. I groaned in pain from the excessive amount of food I ate but it was totally worth it. Fred was still putting some down at an alarmingly fast rate and I was fairly impressed with his apparently bottomless stomach. My head was spinning slightly and I was so full that I felt like I had a food baby but at the same time I was completely content.

Well, at least I was content until I heard the door open and James Potter’s voice say, “What the hell, man? You left over an hour ago for a sandwich; I thought Miss Norris got you on the way here.”

“Oh fuck me,” I groaned under my breath and pinched the bridge of my nose.

“He already did, remember?” Fred mumbled down to me with a huge grin and bulging cheeks.

I swung my arm up to whack him on the shoulder for that comment which drew the attention of James. “Moseley?” He said, sounding confused, as he leaned over the table to see me all stretched out on the bench with my head on his best mate’s lap. “Did you drug her again?” He asked Fred in a voice that sounded like a mixture of confused, bored, and a little curious.

“It was her weed. If anything, she drugged me.” Fred replied innocently and I glared up at him. “Besides, why do you always assume I drug her?”

“Because she always looks like she’s partially dead whenever you’re with her.” James said as he took a seat across from his cousin.

“That’s cause she’s exhausted from all the hot sex we just had on the table.” Fred quipped while he shoveled more food into his mouth and I heaved myself up into a sitting position next to him.

“You’re so full of shit,” I said but I was kind of laughing a) because I was high and b) because even though he was very fit, the thought of shagging Fred Weasley was hilarious to me.

“Hey, better than a broom closet, right?” He teased with a wicked smirk that caused me to smack him across the chest and James to partially choke on a leftover chip from our platter of nachos.

“You told him?” He demanded, looking over at me and his eyebrows furrowed together when he fully took in my incredibly messed up appearance that still hadn’t been properly explained. “What in the hell happened to you?”

“What happened to me is neither here nor there,” I muttered and avoided looking at him in the eye as I snatched a strip of bacon from Fred’s plate.

“C’mon Moseley, just tell us.” Fred begged. “We’re all friends here.”

“Are we though?” I posed, cocking my head to the side slightly.

“Well, you and me just smoked a j and then ate about eight plates of breakfast food and James has seen you naked and been inside you,” Fred explained oh-so eloquently with a great big grin on his face and I had the urge to punch him in the face. “That’s about as friendly as it gets in my opinion.”

It suddenly struck me how much they both suddenly reminded me of my mates. Fred was so Mitch (less of an asshole though) in that he frequently made vastly inappropriate comments and always knew dirt that he loved to rub in your face yet you knew you could somehow sort of trust him with it. And then James was, of course, Cyrus (more of an asshole though) in that I shagged him yet it somehow wasn’t weird.

With Cyrus, it was kind of just natural even though it shouldn’t have been because we were such good friends. It was just like ‘yeah, it happened, it’s whatever, you wanna go again and then maybe go get some food?’. With James, we were just kind of picking up where we left off as mutual partners in crime that kind of don’t like each other.

And although they did remind me of my mates, I didn’t exactly want them knowing how said mates hung me upside down, tortured me, and dropped me on my head so I decided that it was time for me to depart. “Well, it’s been absolutely lovely but I must be off.” I announced quickly but Fred clamped a hand down on my shoulder to stop me before I could get up. When I shot him a glare, he merely blinked innocently and grinned.

“Not so fast, Moseley, I’m invested now in knowing. What was it? Did James bash your head into the stone by accident while he fucked you against the wall?” Fred suggested with a smirk and my jaw clenched as I held back some choice words. I was actually starting to think he was somehow worse than Mitch.

“Freddie, my dear cousin, may I just begin in saying that last night--” James started to say but I cut him off.

“Never happened.”

“Yes, thank you, Moseley, never happened. So can you just drop it, yeah?” James said and the corner of Fred’s lips twitched in a way that made me nervous.

“Oh so you didn’t fuck her in a broom closet until she climaxed so powerfully that she scratched her nails down your back in pure ecstasy?” Fred countered and James looked like he wanted to slam his head into the table.

“Jesus Christ, Weasley!” I yelped and slapped a hand across his chest. Well, at least I tried but he caught it before I could. He swung a muscular arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest in a brotherly way.

“Aw you know you love me, Moseley,” Fred grinned down at me and although I found him deeply annoying, the puppiness of him was winning me over, causing me to smile and playfully push his face away from me.

“I don’t like how chummy you two suddenly are,” James grumbled with his nose slightly wrinkled in a way that made him somehow look both very attractive and constipated at the same time.

“Well get used to it, pal. I’m planning on making Moseley my best man in my upcoming marriage to the pancake currently digesting in my stomach.” Fred informed him and then turned to me. “Which is why you should tell me why the hell you, no offence, look like utter shit right now.”

“Nice try.” I responded and ruffled his hair a bit in a patronizing way before I swung a leg over the bench to make my escape. I could feel James’ eyes on me but I avoided looking at him as I made my way to the exit.

“Why’s it gotta be like that, Moseley?” Fred whined, mocking hurt.

“I’m a Slytherin.” I called back to them from halfway out the door. “It’s my job to be frustratingly elusive.”

YOOOO, I’m back. Again. I’m so sorry for how long this took to get out to you all. For the record, I had well over half of this written for like months but I got stuck for a bit which delayed me finishing it for like ever. But yeah.

Does anyone else have an extreme amount of love for this story’s Fred? Because I know I do. I really like writing him too. Speaking of Fred, I do plan on returning to Enemies with Benefits. It’s going to be the next thing I’m working on so expect an update for that at some point in the future. I have about 1500ish words written so far but I have a feeling it’s going to be a long chapter so I still have a while to go. But hey, at least I have plans.

If you could leave me a review, you’d be forever in my heart. This is one of the chapters that I’ve been excited about for awhile just because it has all my favorite guys in it (aka Cyrus, Mitch, James, and Fred) and I hope you guys liked it as much as I liked writing and thinking about it!



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