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I got up nice and early the next morning and had a little crisis about where I was. It probably wasn’t the most ideal way to start the day, but at least I wasn’t sprawled across my bed with my goods threatening to hang out like Jillian was; real lady, that one.

Pushing myself out of bed, I trudged to the bathroom, hoping that no one in the room would be awake when I got out. I had a quick shower and washed my hair out. I had gotten my mother’s red hair according to Charles. He said she’d once attempted to dye it black like his own and had failed miserably and ended up looking like an aging phoenix. I wasn’t sure if that was a complement or not; I could never be sure when Charles talked about my mother.

There was a single towel in the bathroom and I’d somehow forgotten my wand back in the room. The day just didn’t seem to want to go in my favor. So, I dried my hair as best as I could and wrapped the towel tightly around myself, tiptoeing back into the room.

I knew something was wrong the moment I saw that it wasn’t placed on my nightstand. Now, I know misplacing wands is a common thing and I could have just left it in my jeans or something; but Charles was a Hit Wizard and naturally he taught me the ins and outs of basic self defense. This included learning wand safety even before I actually even owned a wand. My wand was always on my nightstand; somewhere reachable.

Maybe it had somehow fallen on the ground. I knelt down, one hand clutching the towel.

“Well, I really didn’t expect my morning to start off this well.”

I almost screamed and jumped to my feet, stumbling back until my calves touched the bed. There, standing next to the bathroom door was James Sirius Potter.

And he was casually twirling my wand in his hand.

“Merde,” I whispered to myself, trying to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest.

“Oh, I love when you talk dirty to me, baby,” he smirked, casually pushing himself off the wall and sauntering towards me. I narrowed my eyes at him. Something felt off about this. Or maybe he just always gave off a weird vibe. Yeah, I’m going for the latter.

“What are you doing here?” I snapped.

“Aww, no more French? It was kinda hot actually,” he said, pouting slightly.

“I will ask you one more time; why the hell are you skulking around the girls’ dorms? Do you pride yourself on being a pervert or something?” I hissed. His eyes left my face and travelled with painful slowness down the length of my body. I felt heat rising in my cheeks.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Princess,” he said finally, eyes snapping back to my face. “Jillian and I were… how do I put this so it won’t hurt your poor sentimentalities? We were having a little adult sleepover.”

“Charming,” I deadpanned.

He smirked once more as he stepped around me and sat down on my bed, making himself right at home. Great. Now I’d have to burn the sheets.

“Please get off my bed before you infect it with whatever disease you gave poor Jillian over there.”

James looked at me with a disappointed expression and tutted.

“So much hate,” he sighed dramatically, gesturing in my general direction.

“So much ugly,” I copied his actions.

“I happen to be Witch Weekly’s Most Eligible Bachelor.”

“That’s a euphemism, Potter; for son of most famous father.”

“I guarantee you that your lovely roommate will say otherwise,” he smirked.

“It was dark. I don’t blame her for the indiscretion,” I smirked back. James raised an eyebrow at me as he stood up, not breaking eye contact. If I stepped back it would mean I had admitted defeat, which I never would; not to this egotistical jerk anyway. Instead, I glared up at him and his stupid smirk.

I only began to doubt whether I’d put myself in a smart situation when he started to lean down. His hair was almost down till his shoulders and it came dangerously close to touching my cheek.

“The sun isn’t fully up yet, Princess. What d’ya say?” his breath tickled my face and all I could do was stand there for a moment and try to process the situation.

What and/or who was this boy and how did he come to have no boundaries?

Unfortunately for me, James Potter seemed to be done with the conversation before I could think of a witty insult. I felt my wand slide into my hand and he had turned away before I could look back up at him.

“I think you should come to breakfast like that; spread the love you’ve so kindly shown me,” he smirked at the door, before walking out and closing it softly. I just stood there and wondered what the hell type of school I was in and if there was a quick way to get out.

Jillian seemed to have awoken at the sound of the door closing and rolled over, groaning from what could only be a massive hangover (I mean, she did sleep with the arsehole that had just completely molested my personal space; must’ve taken a lot of alcohol to endure that). She raised her hand above her head to stretch, revealing her dishevelled dress and a few other things I could’ve gone a lifetime without seeing.

“Eew,” she groaned when she saw me standing there in my towel. “Put some clothes on.”

And then she started snoring.


“... and then he was right there. Just standing there as though he did that every other day,” I told Fitz for the billionth time that day. We were at lunch and I had managed to go the whole morning without running into James Potter.

Fitz wasn’t listening to me. He was engrossed in The Daily Prophet. He said he liked to read it during lunch because the smell of bacon didn’t go well with reading the news in the morning. And Fitz had to have his bacon.

I haven’t entirely ruled out notifying St.Mungo’s about the boy.

“Fitz,” I said, trying to get his attention. “FITZ!”

“What?! I didn’t do it!” he said, jumping up from his seat looking like a deer caught in headlights. Slowly, he surveyed the scene and realised there was nothing to be alarmed about. He sat back down, completely ignoring the looks everyone was giving him. Honestly, I’d know the boy a day and I was no longer surprised by anything he did. Seeing as these people had known him six whole years, you’d think they’d be used to this by now.

“Okay, like I was saying-“

“Just jump his bones or whatever you want to do, honestly. I don’t want to hear about it. It won’t be that hard anyway. James will sleep with anything even remotely warm blooded... although I did catch him in a shifty situation with a piece of parchment that one time...” Fitz seemed to be on the verge of zoning out again.

“Excuse me, sleep with him? Is that what you took away from all the ranting I’ve been doing?”

“Yeah, he was in your dorm. He does that all the time, Ness. It’s like his play. I know these things; we live together. He probably wants to get in your pants too. Just get it over with already,” he rolled his eyes and went back to his newspaper. I stared in disbelief at the front of the newspaper that was blocking Fitz’s face from view. Then I reached out and seized it angrily from his grasp.

“Did you miss the part where he was bumping uglies with my roommate?” I demanded. Fitz shook his head.

“He thinks Jillian’s weird. Which is true if you think about it. She does smell like venomous tentacula sometimes,” he seemed to be pondering this fact.

“How do you even know that?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. “You know what, never mind.”

“Good, because it’s a long story and I don’t think she’ll appreciate that I flushed her tweezers down the toilet if she ever found out.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“Anyway,” Fitz continued. “He was probably there to hit on you, because there’s absolutely no way he’d even go near Jillian, let alone boink her.”

I would have made fun of Fitz for saying the word ‘boink’, but there was something that was bothering me about this whole situation all morning. With Fitz’s revelation, all the pieces began falling into place.

“Jillian was wearing clothes this morning,” I said suddenly.

“That is quite commendable,” Fitz nodded. “The fire’s lit, but the cauldron’s definitely empty with that one.”

“And Potter was already in his uniform.”

I looked down the table and saw James sitting with the sandy-haired guy from yesterday (the nice one who didn’t hit on me) and another boy with caramel skin and black hair. James said something and the other two burst out laughing. Then, as though he knew I was watching, he turned and winked at me.

And just like that, I was seething.

I slammed my fork down and pushed myself off my seat, glaring daggers at the stupid git.

“What’re you... Oh, no Ness. This is a bad idea. Don’t-“

I was already stalking towards James, not bothering that people were turning to stare at me. I stopped opposite him, behind the two boys who had been laughing.

“Why, Princess, so nice of you to bless us with your presence,” James said coolly. The other two turned around to look at me.

“What did you take?” I snapped. His eyes shifted from me to his friends and back all in a split second, and I knew I was right. The git had the gall to actually steal something.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugged, taking a bite of chicken and chewing it casually. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Getting detention on the first day wasn’t the most ideal way to begin the year. There was also the fact that the hall had gone deadly quiet. Even the teachers had stopped talking; probably getting ready to start giving out detentions if things got violent.

“Potter,” I leaned forward and whispered. “When I was six, I accidently knocked my own father out with a pestle. Accidently. If I wanted to do something on purpose, believe me when I tell you that it will be excruciatingly painful.”

The black haired friend let out a low whistle and the sandy haired one gulped. James, to my irritation, didn’t even flinch.

“I repeat; I didn’t take anything of yours,” he said calmly. “What really concerns me is that your father allowed you to run around yielding a pestle when you were six.”

“Yes, Charles is a few marbles short. Much like you, actually. He lost some memory from that incident. Couldn’t remember how to get home for a week or two.”

James narrowed his eyes and got up from his seat. It seemed as though the whole hall was holding its breath.

“I don’t respond well to threats, Princess,” he said quietly.

“And I don’t respond well to stupidity, Potter,” I said, my voice holding enough venom to match his own. Someone audibly gasped from one of the tables behind me. Something twitched in James’s face; I could have been wrong but it looked like he was trying not to smile.

Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop. This had been orchestrated; he knew I would confront him and he had been waiting. Sure enough, he reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a red envelope. Slowly, tentatively, I took it from him and scrutinised it. It had my name written on it and it had never been opened.

“This isn’t mine,” I rolled my eyes.

“It is now,” James smirked, looking at the letter.

“Were you born this stupid, or did you knock that thick head of yours one too many-“I stopped short when I realised that the envelope was beginning to heat up in my hand.

I would have been more disappointed in the realisation that it was I who was the idiot and not James Potter if I wasn’t so worried about the Howler I now held in my hands. I had wasted too much time already, there was no point in trying to run out of the hall at this point; it would only be worse when the thing began shrieking at me mid-way. I only had time to look at James’s triumphant expression before the envelope burst open and a shrill voice filled the silent hall.


My face was so red by this point I would have been worried it would explode if I wasn’t being publically humiliated in front of the entire school as James Potter wheezed laughter five feet away from me. I don’t know how he’d even found the letter from Henri. It had been buried deep in my trunk where no one would accidently stumble upon it (not even me). Don’t get me wrong, I loved Henri and he was great, but the boy didn’t exactly have a way with words. And thanks to James the whole school could now testify to that.


Maybe if I shut my eyes it would go away.


“No,” I whispered to myself.”Ce n'est pas le cas.“

How the hell does one stop a Howler? I knew what was coming next and trust me when I say the part about dreaming about my hair and summer (whatever that was supposed to mean) was by far the best bit of the letter.



I heard the letter catch fire and I felt the heat on my face, but I didn’t dare open my eyes. The silence rang in my ears. I knew everyone was looking at me, save for James who I could hear gasping for breath.

 Slowly I opened one eye. The first person I saw was Fitz with his wand in his hand (bless him), standing opposite me. We stared at each other through the silence and James’s guffawing. Somehow Fitz seemed to guess what I was going to do next, because his eyes got wide and he began to vigorously shake his head.

“Ness, DON’T!” he screamed. Then he jumped to tackle me just as I pounced on James. I wasn’t too certain of what happened next. I’m pretty sure I knocked all the food near me onto the floor as I lunged across the table. When my fist came in contact with James’s face I heard Fitz crash into someone behind me. I honestly don’t know how food started flying everywhere though.

“FOOD FIGHT!” James’s blonde friend yelled. I didn’t pay attention. I was too busy sitting on James and hitting every part of him I could reach.

“You- crazy. Stop hitting- STOP!” he yelled over the war cries that were going around the hall as students chucked their lunch at one another. He pushed me off of him, trapping my hands and knees under his own with the signature smirk on him face as he leaned closer to me. I wanted to chop his stupid hair off when it touched my face.

“You’re such a prick,” I yelled in his face. He smirked and tipped a plate on mashed potatoes onto my head.

So I kicked him in his prized family jewels. He grunted and rolled off of me in pain and I took the opportunity to empty a boat of gravy over him.

“ENOUGH!” someone yelled and then there was a resounding blast across the Great Hall. Everyone froze and turned to stare at Headmaster Hobbs. The man had gravy stains down his robes and some peas stuck in his hair. I couldn’t make up my mind whether to laugh or be afraid when he turned his furious gaze on us.

“You, you and you,” he said as he pointed to Fitz, James (who was still writhing on the floor in pain) and me. “With me, now.”

“But I didn’t even do anything!” Fitz protested.

“Magic in the Great Hall is forbidden,” Hobbs looked like he was going to burst an artery.

“But if I hadn’t set the thing on fire, we’d all have known about Nesta’s sex life by now. I’m sure it’s great and all,” he added to me. “-but we really don’t need to know about-“


Fitz considered it for a moment.

“Well, no. Not really. But it‘s hardly fair-“

“That’s enough, Fitz,” Professor Lupin had walked right into the scene of the fray. “Let me take them to my office, Headmaster. They are in my house after all.”

Hobbs was still glaring at us. He looked close to blowing stream out of his ears. Finally he sighed and turned his back on us. Professor Lupin quickly went to collect James from the ground and motioned for Fitz and I follow him.

“Did you really have to kick him in the nuts?” Fitz asked, looking at James in pity.

“Yes,” I said matter-of-factly. I was deriving more happiness than I should have from the painful groans James was emitting as Professor Lupin hauled him up the staircase.

No one said anything. To my disdain, James looked like he was recovering from my physical assault. He still looked a little pink in the face though. We reached a classroom that I hadn’t been in that morning and Professor Lupin turned to glare at us when we reached his desk.

“What happened?” he demanded.

We all began speaking at once.

“He stole my letter-“

“-crazy bint kicked me in the-“

“-just reading my paper-“

“-and then put it in a Howler-“

“-not like everyone didn’t see what she did-“

“-completely innocent here-“

“-don’t know how that’s acceptable in this country-“

“-and threw gravy at me-“

“-decided I’d be a nice person and set it on fire-“

“-I didn’t even do anything to him-“

“-because she’s insane-“

“-should be giving me an Order of Merlin-“

“-has some sort of God complex-“

“-I’m so underappreciated like Peeves-“

“SHUT UP!” Professor Lupin screamed. He looked much like Hobbs had in the Great Hall. He took deep breaths to calm himself and then turned to me for an explanation.

“Potter came into my dormitory and stole my letter,” I said calmly.

“James,” Professor Lupin sighed. “Is this true?”

“Well, yes, but-“ James began.

“When I told you how to go in there, I didn’t think you’d use it for things like this,” Professor Lupin all but yelled.

“Excuse me?” I shrieked. “What the hell kind of teacher are you?”

“Miss Belgarde-“

“NO! Don’t you dare. This school is a joke,” I yelled at him. “You are a joke. What kind of teacher tells a student how to get into the girls’ dormitories? Hell, what kind of teacher has violet hair?”

“That’s really more about personal choice and expression of individuality-“

“FITZ!” I screeched to make him shut up.

“Calm yourself, Princess,” James rolled his eyes. “Don’t want to get frown lines, now do you?”

I lunged for him again. I would have beaten the crap out of him too if Professor Lupin hadn’t placed himself between us.

“Detention for a week. All three of you. Report to my office tonight at eight,” he said. “You can go.”

James, with a completely blank expression as always, walked towards the door and Professor Lupin stepped out of my way.

I took the opportunity to stick my leg out and make him crash face first into the cold stone floor.

A/N: Translation time:
Merde- Shit (I know, charming)
Ce n'est pas le cas- This isn't happening.
Also note my French is beyond rusty. Please excuse any errors!

Anyhoo, do leave a reaview! It makes me happy and I love knowing which bits you liked/didn't like. Is anyone really for Fitz at this point? I love him so much and I didnt anticipate it. I feel like he should get his own sit-scom :P

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