I'm Sorry Remus, but It's All Your Fault "What, who is it?" they all yelled at Sirius who’s large body was pretty much completely blocking the doorway. Sirius took a step inside. They filed in to find a thin girl lying on the floor. A thin girl they knew. It was Kate. She quickly got up at the sound of them entering, looking scared. "Kate" Lupin said softly, "How?" "Why didn't you tell us you were a werewolf?" said Hermione in a soothing tone, "We would have understood." At this Kate dropped down on the sofa behind her, silent tears spilling down her face. "I couldn't" she said softly, "No one ever understands." "But nobody knows" said Ron. "My father knows" she replies with a scowl not aimed at Ron, "and he hated me for it." They just couldn't understand how she had hidden it so well, even better than Lupin, and it was Lupin who was most amazed and even kind of impressed by this. Hermione went and sat down beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "When were you bitten?" Lupin asked in a concerned tone of voice. "I wasn't" she said shortly. Now they were all confused. "What do you mean?" asked Sirius. "My mother was a werewolf, she was bitten before I was born." she said, the tears that had momentarily stopped now flowed again. She was staring fixedly at the floor. Remus looked deep into her eyes. In them he saw the pain of lack of control, a pain he knew all too well. She brushed her long dark hair behind her ears. At this Sirius became interested. "Where do you live?" he asked. "In London, but she lived in Hogsmead when she was bitten." she was now looking up at Sirius, whose face lit up with interest, and something that almost resembled fear. "How long ago?" he asked. Kate thought for a moment, "Nearly fifteen years ago I suppose." her tears stopped, but she still looked very sad. Remus looked up at Sirius, and gave him a look to tell him to stop asking such painful questions, better yet, stop asking questions completely. Sirius never caught his look though yet no more questions came. Sirius put his face in his hands. "So you were born a werewolf?" Lupin asked again in that concerned tone. "No" Kate replied, "I started showing signs of abnormality when I was about ten" she said "My mother thought I wasn't going to be accepted, but the letter came, I was so happy." At the mention of her mother, she began to cry silently again. "So your mother helped you through it all then?" Lupin asked. "She tried" Lupin had a puzzled look on his face, "my mother passed away shortly after I started showing signs of being a werewolf." she was trying very hard not to burst out sobbing, "the healers said her body couldn't handle it anymore." At this Lupin stopped asking questions. Now Sirius picked up again, but his next question wasn't aimed at Kate. "Remus?" he asked with a very pained expression on his face, "Do you remember that time in our fifth year when we had that little disagreement the day after a transformation?" "Yes" he replied, it was still fresh in his memory from dreaming about it. "I should have told you this a long time ago, if I would have, things may have turned out differently." "What?" Lupin asked, looking alarmed. "That night when you transformed, we did go try our best to scare the Slytherins, that, I wasn't lying about. But that wasn't all we did. We were heading to the lake, I don't remember why, but me and James started to play fight. That was when we lost track of you." Lupins eyes widened, but Sirius continued "I looked up and you were gone, we searched for nearly an hour, we were starting to panic, then..." Sirius hesitated, "Then what?" Lupin looked fearful of what Sirius was about to say next. "We heard a scream, this terrible scream." Lupin nearly fell off the couch, "We went towards it and... and found you." Sirius looked at his friend apologetically. "But, but no one was ever reported hurt" said Lupin, trying desperately to find a way out of this situation. "It couldn't have been m-" "Remus" Sirius cut him off in mid-sentence, "You were always the smart one, do the math. Our fifth year, Remus, that was just over fourteen years ago." Lupin looked up at him as realization dawned upon him. He looked at Kate and then put his face into his shaking hands. Kate didn't look angry, but understanding. After a moment Lupin looked up again, he looked right at Kate. "I'm so sorry" he said, hugging her, and to his surprise, she didn't pull away. "It's all my fault, your mother..." he trailed off. "It's OK, what's done is done." she looked at him with a pained expression. "I don't blame you." "You know it's my fault." he said shakily. "And I also know what it's like to lose control." She got up from the couch, once again tears leaked down her cheeks. "I know what it's like to wake up not knowing what I've done, and pray that I haven't hurt anyone." She cried even harder, and at this point she was almost yelling at Lupin, who sat frozen on the couch. "I know what it's like to feel alone, separated, different." At this point Lupin got up and once again pulled her into an embrace. This time she cried openly into his shoulder. This was a turning point in both Kate Trainer's, and Remus Lupin's lives. Never again, did either ever feel alone.
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