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 “And did you know that Harry R. Drackett invented Windex in 1933? Back then it was one hundred percent solvent, and highly flammable, so it had to be sold in metal cans! Obviously they reformulated it after the second muggle world war when modern surfactants were introduced…”

When I walked down the stairs with Wonderboy and Rose gave me the ‘we are going to have a serious conversation about whatever the fuck just happened’ look, I decided it would be beneficial for me to casually mentioned Windex and set Scorpius off on a very informational rant about his favorite product. She wouldn’t get a word in for at least a half hour, which gave me plenty of time to escape. I make it out of the portal hole, and then book it to Teddy’s office. As I run, I try my best to block out the violent whispers I hear from everyone I pass about Rose’s pregnancy.


Seeing as I’m not exactly in practice of profuse running, I’m half bent over gasping for breath by the time I get there. Once I finally regain the ability to function as a normal human again, I knock on the door.


“Chase,” an emotionally exhausted looking Teddy says my name tiredly once he opens the door, “Come on in. Scott and I were just having a very… long conversation.”


I walk in and see Scotty sitting on the edge of Teddy’s desk, staring at the ice cubes in the glass of water he’s holding. He takes a second before looking up at me, but once he does he gives a sheepish half smile, “Was I really THAT obvious that night in the kitchen?”


“Scotty, I wasn’t even half awake and I managed to read between the lines.”


“We’ve been doing so much serious talking, I am beyond glad to have you here to lighten things up,” Teddy sighs with relief, “Best friends should have pointless conversations about lamps and chainsaws.”


“Not about being the father of the girl we both love,” Scotty agrees casually.


“What?” this was news to me, “Scotty, obviously I can figure out that you were into Victoire and gave her some sugar and all that, but I’m really oblivious to the situation here. You were in love with her?”


The two best friends give each other a look, but Scott speaks for himself, “Yes. At first we didn’t like each other, since I felt like she was hogging Teddy and she thought I was just Teddy’s loser friend. But then we became potions partners and started talking a LOT, and then when Teddy made us start hanging out more so that we would get along… I don’t know. I just kind of fell for her,” he looks at Teddy again, though this time it seemed more meaningful, “You know what I’m talking about. It’s tough not to love her.”


Teddy nods, saying nothing. This was weird.


“Anyways,” I interrupt what I assume was them having flashbacks of picnics or whatever with Victoire, “Teddy, I want an M.B.F.I.t.G.o.M.D Club meeting.”


He gives me a look, “I didn’t know you were a member?”


“I’m not, but… Oh, fuck it, I need to talk to somebody about this and according to Wonderboy you’re a good person to talk to about these things. I got really mad at Louis and tried to fornicate with Danny!”


Scott almost spews the water he’s drinking and goes into a coughing fit, and then looks at Teddy. Teddy shrugs, “Teenagers, man. You get used to it,” he turns his attention to me, “You guys didn’t actually…?”


“No. I said Louis’s name while in the moment and stopped, but Danny said he would have stopped me anyways. You know who it was he was with first, don’t you? That’s what you guys were talking about earlier when I walked in?”


“Err, I really think that’s something you and Danny should talk about. To be honest, I don’t think you’ll be quite happy about who it is…”


I try and think. I don’t exactly have a lot of enemies at the school.


Scotty is starting to seem slightly interested in my teenage drama, because let’s face it, there’s a reason there’s so many cheesy high school soap operas, “Why were you mad at Louis?”


“He thought I was snogging Wonderboy again.”


“So to show Louis how absurd it was that you would snog Danny, you… snogged Danny?”


I frown, “It made sense at the time. I dunno, angry girl logic. But either way, he should trust me! I was ready to finally give in and be his girlfriend, but he had to go and fuck it all up with his stupid jealousy!”


“I thought you’d quit cussing?”


“Too difficult. I’m now only refraining from the fun words when I’m around Rose. But back to the problem at hand!”


Teddy shakes his head at me, “Are you saying you wouldn’t be jealous if you saw Louis flirting with Macey Ackerly?”


I remember the surge of envy I’d felt just seeing them walking together, but then I think of something else and raise an eyebrow at Teddy, “You talked so in detail with Danny that he even told you about the Macey Ackerly thing?”


“Yeah. I mean, we talked about a lot of things. I guess she sort of came up,” Teddy trails off as he gets distracted by the time on his watch, “It’s time to go to dinner. Chase, would you like to walk with us, or are you embarrassed to be seen walking to dinner with a teacher?”


“Are you kidding? Most of the girls in the school have a crush on you, and even some of the boys. I’ll be the envy of Hogwarts.”


The entirety of the Great Hall was buzzing, and it seemed like everywhere I looked people were whispering and looking at Rose. My best friend sat at the Gryffindor table between Hugo, who was glaring daggers at everyone that looked their direction, and James, who had his arm protectively around his cousin as she meekly picked at her food. The sight practically broke my heart. I walked over and sat next to Hugo, because Louis was on the other side of James and I most definitely didn’t want to sit by him at the moment. I looked over at the Slytherin table and saw Scorpius looking miserably helpless, despite what appeared to be Danny’s efforts to cheer him up.


Just then, McGonagall walked up to the podium at the front of the hall, and everyone hushed simultaneously. A grave expression across her face, she began to speak, “As we all very well know, there are some… rumors circulating through campus. Many a professor have complained today about this unfortunate case of gossip disrupting the peace of the school, a matter which concerns me as Headmistress. After a meeting and faculty vote, us staff here at Hogwarts have decided to invoke a week of self-bettering events. This means that, beginning on the upcoming Monday and continuing until the next Friday, a series of character-building activities will be replacing your usual curriculum,” she pauses as a wave of murmurs pass over the Great Hall.


Once the hall is back to silence, McGonagall continues, “We can only hope that this unprecedented action might help all of you to become a more considerate and less impetuous group of adults. Thank you, you may all continue with your meal.”


After that, I don’t think anyone was feeling very hungry.


“Character-building activities?” James voiced, “What does that even mean? And is it to help less kids get pregnant, or to help everyone stop being such terrible gossips?”


“It might be a mix of both,” I shrug, cutting my pork chop into bite-sized pieces before I eat it, “I mean, I’m sure there’s been girls eating for two at Hogwarts before. But because Rose and Scorp are well-known and intelligent, it’s caused the biggest stir since Borden Cattermole got that face tattoo. Obviously, that’s something else for them to worry about.”


I pause halfway through taking a bite of pork chop because I realize everyone is staring at me, “What?”


Maylin, who’s seated across the table, speaks, “Are you, um, okay? I mean, I wasn’t there or anything, but from what I hear you weren’t exactly this calm an hour ago.”


“Louis and Rose say you were angry as fuck!” Hugo exclaims, always the rational intellectual.


I calmly take another bite off my fork, “I’m fine. In fact, I’m looking forward to some character building. Rose, honey, are you okay? Why have you been looking so green this entire time?”


“Only a week and three days until the Malfoys come and we have to tell them everything,” she squeaks, not taking her eyes off of the table.


“Well, think about it this way. At least you’ll get a week off from normal classes to get a chance to relax before then?” She says nothing in reply, and I realize that will probably just give her less opportunity to keep her mind occupied.


As I’m looking at Rose worriedly, I notice Louis giving me an inquisitive look. I raise my eyebrow, as if to say, You got a problem?, but he says nothing.


The next few days seem oddly normal in comparison. Scotty and Teddy were perfectly at ease despite the newfound turbulence in their friendship, and Scott helped out the class on Wednesday without a hitch (although I did forget to get Scorp and him together). Louis and I continue not speaking to each other, and in first period I keep myself entertained with I.L.s to Rose or Maylin rather than talk to him. Danny and I have somehow formed a normal friendship, including nice conversations about potions assignments rather than the random snog sessions that used to represent our relationship. Gossip about what would occur the upcoming week seemed to almost completely overshadow talk about Rose and Scorpius, which allowed them to act like themselves again. Rose had bounced back to her sunny disposition for now, and The Impregnator was enjoying frequent broom closet meetings with her when he wasn’t happily scrubbing floors or ironing clothing. 


On Sunday night, some pieces of parchment were pinned to the wall just inside the Common Room. Upon investigation, it was discovered that it listed all of our names and appointed us where to go the next morning for character-building. I assumed it wasn’t an accident that I was in the same group as the Potters, Weasleys, Scamanders, and also Maylin. They knew it would be best to keep all the troublemakers in one room. Unfortunately, the room we were assigned to go to for bettering ourselves was the divination classroom. Who better than a crazy old hippie in her sixties to teach us to be good people?


The bulletin told us to wear clothes we felt comfortable moving around in, and I knew we would be in for some weird stuff. In her old age, Trelawney had gotten way into yoga, which actually seemed to be working for her since she was at least sixty-five and probably had better abs than I did.


The next morning Rose and I walked there together, her in yoga pants(which only went past her knees, so they were more like capris) and a tank top, while I was comfortable in volleyball shorts and a tee-shirt. Rose had twisted her hair into a cute knot on top of her head, but I just settled for a classic ponytail. My hair wasn’t very good at following directions.


While she appeared cute, Rose looked slightly sickly to me. Her face was slightly grayish, and her eyes seemed more sunken and puffy than usual.


“Are you alright, Rosey-Toesy?” I ask, concerned, as we walk through the corridors, passing other students similarly dressed to us.


“Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little queasy. Nothing unusual.”


I’m not sure if I quite believe her, but we’ve just reached the Divination Stairwell and I decide Rose doesn’t look well enough to talk and climb the monstrous amount of stairs at the same time.


Roxanne catches up to us just as we begin ascending.


“Hey, guys,” the fourth year smiles at us, seemingly unfazed that Rose is the reason we have to go to this thing in the first place, “What do you think Trelawney’s going to have us do? I hope we don’t do trust falls, because this family is full of the type of people that will let me fall for a laugh…”


She talks the entire rest of the way up, even during the momentary pauses when Rose has to stop and catch her breath.


We finally reach the classroom, in which the desks (McGonagall had finally made Trelawney get rid of the tables and armchairs about ten years back) were pushed to the side of the room, creating a big space in the middle. The people there already are Louis, Fred, Albus, James, and Maylin (who all obviously walked together), Lysander and Lucy (also most likely walked here together; they’re good friends), and Hugo and Lily (they’re best friends, too). The only person missing was Lorcan, who casually walked in a few minutes after us. He walked over to join Lucy and his brother, and Roxanne left us to stand with Hugo and Lily.


Though I wasn’t entirely knowledgeable in the littluns’ drama, it was pretty widely known that the reason Lucy hung out with Lysander and Lorcan was that she and Lily didn’t exactly… tolerate each other. It’s not like either of them were bad, or mean to each other, they were just two very different people forced to have very similar lives. Growing up, people would always get them mixed up, considering they were the same age and had close sounding names. I guess it built up resentment or something.


Rose and I walk over to James and Fred, who have just parted from the little group to have a private conversation, but they hardly acknowledge us.


Fred asks politely, “Hey, mate, you don’t mind if I ask Maylin out, do you? I mean, you guys are just friends?”


“Well, I mean, we are just friends. But I don’t know if I really want YOU to date her…” James looks uncomfortable.


“Why not?” Freddie tilts his head to the side, slightly hurt.


“Freddie, I love you, but James obviously doesn’t want you dating her because you sleep with every girl you date,” I say, rolling my eyes. Next to me, Rose nods.


“Hey! It’s not like I sleep around. I date exclusively. Is it really my fault that I always get the same results?”


James shakes his head, “But why with my best friend?”


“She’s really pretty, and funny too. Great personality on that one. Why do you care so much if I have relations with her? She’s dated loads of other guys!” Freddie points out.


Before James can reply, whatever other conversations everyone in the room were having died down, and I looked up to discover that this was because Professor Trelawney had walked in.


 And, not surprisingly, she had on a bright, tie-dye sweat-suit, her frizzy graying hair was pulled back into a ballerina bun, and she held a disgusting looking protein shake in her hand. Ladies and gentleman, this was what our divination professor had become.


“Children,” she cooed in her eternally misty voice, “Please, choose a desk and sit for the moment,” we do as she says, each taking one of the desks pushed against the wall, “As you’ve probably just noticed, when you sat a piece of parchment will have appeared before you. Do not yet write on it, for this will be your first assignment of the week. It is like your little Instant Letters, except every student in the school will be writing to an anonymous pen-pal. You will be expected to write every night, but be warned, the parchment is enchanted to not allow you to say anything that might give a clue as to your true identity. The pen-pals are selected randomly, and yours could be anybody in the school. Now that you have those, place them with your things and stand in a circle in the middle of the classroom.”


Silently, we do as she says (although it’s more of an ugly oval than a circle), and I find myself between Maylin and Rose. Next to Maylin is Albus. Rose is next to Lily, who I like. She has spunk; she’s the type not to care what others think of her.  


“Good. Now, I must start by informing you that I have just now charmed this classroom so that you can only tell the truth, so you cannot lie even if you want to, despite the fact that what I hold now has the very same power,” I notice that in her left hand she’s holding a weird, rounded rock thing, “Starting with Hugo, we will go in order, first saying something about ourselves, and then something about the person to our left, and finally something about the person directly across from us. This stone will not only make you say it quickly, but also make sure you say the first thing that pops into your head when you look at whoever it is you speak of, so don’t waste your time trying to decide beforehand what you will say. The Stone already knows.”


Absolute horror passes over me when I look up to see that Louis is right across from me, and he’s looking at me with the same terrified expression I probably have. Will I say something horrible about him? Or will my mushy side take over? What if I say something mushy and he says something horrible? Or worse, what if it’s the other way around? Then how will I look?


Professor Trelawney passes The Stone to Hugo, and he instantly begins talking at rapid speed, “I’m Hugo and I don’t really think I have as much swag as I claim to. Next to me is Roxanne, who is one of my best friends but I really hate how she flirts with fucking EVERYONE,” the cussing only encourages Trelawney’s smile at the effectiveness of her weird rock thing, “Across from me is Lysander who needs to let go and punch his brother in the face like he so obviously wants to.”


Lysander’s eyes go big, but then he just looks annoyed when he realizes Lorcan is playing with his nails and not at all paying attention to what’s happening.


Hugo quickly passes The Stone to Roxanne, who also begins talking at lightning speed, “I’m Roxanne and all I really need is attention. To my left is Lily, who I love as a best friend but secretly resent for being more famous because of her last name. Across from me is Lucy who I wish wouldn’t ignore the idea of friendship with me just because I’m best friends with Lily.”


Lily’s turn, “I’m Lily and I tell people how I feel about them, even if it’s mean, because I hate the idea of anyone talking about me behind my back. Next to me is Rose, who everyone else idolizes even though I actually think Chase is the coolest, but she never notices. Across from me is Lorcan, whose personality makes me want to vomit, but he already knows that.”


Now for Rose, “I’m Rose and all I want is a perfect life with Scorpius and my baby, but lately the idea seems farther and farther away. Next to me is Chase, who won’t talk to me so all I know is that she’s angry at the only boy she really wants to be with and she may or may not have slept with Danny Boot. Across from me is Fred, whom I don’t understand why he has to screw every girl he dates when doesn’t he know that if a girl gets pregnant it will ruin her life?!”


I stop being shocked by what’s been said long enough to feel terror about whatever it is I might say, now that it’s my turn. Oh, Merlin, here it comes, “I’m Chase and I swear I never slept with Danny or anyone for that matter and hot damn this rock thing I’m holding terrifies me more than cartoon crickets. Next to me is Maylin, who is secretly snogging James but only Louis and I know. Across from me is Louis, who is a really good kisser but I’m super mad at him for being overly jealous.”


I hand it to Maylin and take a deep breath. I can’t decide if that was better or worse than what I’d feared.


Maylin is now speaking, “I’m Maylin and I date a lot of guys to hide any real feelings I might have. Next to me is Albus, whose adorable face I want to squeeze and also punch because he read my diary, the cute little prat. Across from me is James; kissing him is the best part of my day, even though I keep saying I’m going to stop.”


I smile a bit because I was right and also it’s Al’s turn and he’s across from Professor Trelawney, “I’m Albus and I’m not really as shy as I act, it’s just easier to not try and take the attention away from James. Next to me is James, who snogs a bunch of girls instead of dating the girl that draws hearts around his name in her diary. Across from me is Professor Trelawney, who gives me the secret yoga lessons that are the reason I almost have a six pack.”


Now James’s, “I’m James and I date around because I’m afraid of rejection from the one girl that really matters. Next to me is Louis, who has been going insane lately because of the roller coaster that is Chase Longbottom. Across from me is Maylin, who I’ve always kind of known I was in love with.”


Honestly, I can’t say that one surprises me. But I stop caring because it’s Louis’s turn, “I’m Louis and I’m starting to really question if I want to be Minister of Magic someday. Next to me is Fred, who’s one of my closest friends but I swear if he ever even thinks about dating Chase like he was about Maylin earlier he will have the same amount of ears as his dad. Across from me is Chase, who I slightly regret being angry at because if I wasn’t we would probably be dating right now but I’m also still really mad at her and she’ll probably be even angrier at me when she realizes I know who Danny slept with and didn’t tell her.”


A/N: Ah! So the truth comes out >:D Will James and Maylin get together, or continue to ignore their feelings? What do you think of Yoga Trelawney?Who IS it that Danny was with? What do you think will happen next?  Include it all in your review, along with things like quotes, favorite lines, favorite characters, all of those things I say in every Author’s Note :D Keep reading and reviewing! x

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